The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

[Frazzlerock]

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

Hi @Dreamland, I'm so sorry to see you here. What a horrific time you've had. This is a great group and I hope brings you some comfort x

I can't believe how naive I was about it all either. And seeing as I pg so quickly last time, DH is still fairly naive about it.
Also wish our life was less hectic so we could fit in much more BD (that actually came out as one of my frustrations with DH in our talk on Monday).

Hi @Dreamland sorry you're here too but you are welcome.

I was more naive about staying pregnant rather than getting pregnant. My two big boys were a nightmare to conceive but I thought once pregnant, I'd stay pregnant at least for 9 months anyway.
I will never trust another pregnancy ever again.
I really miss being blissfully unaware during my first two pregnancies, and the first 9 weeks of my third... What a joyful time that was. Feels like another lifetime now.

More BD?! I feel like everyone else in the world is at it the whole time as it is 😂 but I guess that's always how it feels when you've got a bit of a complex about something 😕

I'm still getting bfp's. It's going to be ages until I can think about ttc again.

Welcome @InDreamland and sorry to hear of your mc history xx

Hi all, back after a hectic Christmas and New Year although I must admit the reality of them both wasn't as bad as what i had been dreaming up in my head and I managed to enjoy myself. Also drank tonnes of Prosecco, gin and baileys to drown my sorrow. I'm having my last blow out this weekend and then no more drink, I'm also giving up caffiene as my New Year's resolution, so hopefully should be in prime health to conceive next time.
I'm starting to wonder when Af will be due I felt like it could be starting this morning but nothing. Do I count the first day of bleeding from the miscarriage as Cd1? i ended up bleeding for 11 days in total and then directly after that I had absolutely loads of EWCM so does that mean I would have ovulated after that? arghh so confused. I'm now on Cd 24 and usually my cycles would be anywhere between 31-36 days so didn't think i would get Af for at least another week but I definately feel like it's on the way. I do'nt think I have ever willed it to come as much as I am now, but I just want to get back on the ttc horse.

So excited for us all to get our next BFP! and also congratulations @frazzle on the engagement that is so lovely ad very exciting! I hope it helps to keep your mind off all the horrible things you've had to endure I absolutely loved planning my wedding and just wish i could do it all again.

@Ratherbeshowjuming sorry you've had such a horrible time with hubby, I definitely think it will be the stress of everything and really hope you guys manage to work everything out.

@Dreamland. welcome but so sorry you've had to join our club!

Hope everyone else is well.

@Rachy I am also thinking i was very naive about the whole pregnancy thing since the mc. I just honestly never thought it would happen and since it has happened i can't stop reading about it and realising how common it is and i feel very silly. I also looked at the Ava bracelet ad would love one although it only took us 3 months to conceive the last time so i think it is probably a non essential item at the minute but oh how i want it!

Welcome back Prosecco ! Glad your festive period was okay in the end. Got to love Bailey's. Good resolution, tempted to do the same for coffee but DH bought me a lovely coffee maker....

My mouth is full of ulcers... had this with previous pregnancies, only time I get them... Really getting hopeful now

@twittle I’m so excited for you!!

Looking good @twittle! Don’t know how you’ve got the willpower to wait to test again until the weekend

See @TwittleBee your body is telling you now! 😁

Welcome back @ProseccoBee! I’m glad you managed to have a good time.

@TwittleBee... do you think you could just nip out and get a frer? I can’t handle the suspense 😁😘

@Rachyrach83 thank you. TTC is tough. I was naive too when wee started TTC, a year later I started getting realising it's not easy then when we got to 5 years gave up all hope then bam pregnant but lost that and the next one. I am so jealous of those who just have to sneeze and they're pregnant. You're not too old though! Ladies have babies into their 40's.

@ratherbeshowjumping thank you too. Hope you find more time for DTD.

@Frazzlerock thank you. I know that feeling of being pregnant after mc is such an anxious time. As soon as I got my BFP in November I started worrying about another mc and was on 24 hour knicker watch. DH also was worried we'd lose that baby too.

@Bettyswoll0cks thanks. I hope you get a BFN so you can reset and start again.

@ProseccoBee thanks too.I counted first day of bleeding from mc as CD1, not sure if I'm supposed to.

@Twittlebee that sounds positive. Fx for you!

My body is doing weird stuff. Mentioned this on another thread. I never used to get spots apart from the occasional one when AF shows but would disappear in 24 hours. Since first pregnancy last year I've had spots - big ugly uncomfortable ones. They won't go. Also ever since first pregnancy I've had weird feelings in my lower abdomen. Think my body is confused.

I am doing some very unscientific internet research about breastfeeding and early miscarriage. It's really hard to find anything helpful but it does say that breastfeeding generally lowers progesterone. Isn't progesterone an important part of establishing a pregnancy? Perhaps bf'ing less intensely doesn't lower progesterone enough to suppress ovulation, but to stall implantation/early development maybe? Urgh. I've decided to stop bf'ing DS next week anyway but it would be good to know whether that could have been the issue up to this point 🤔

In other news, I've started bleeding again after 4 days without. No idea what's going on w my body 😪

Betty I've been reading about progesterone too as my Dr said she'd prescribe it next time I get pregnant. Apparently there's not that much evidence whether low progesterone is the cause of a miscarriage or whether it's an early symptom that something is wrong, iyswim. So if the baby was viable maybe enough progesterone would be produced anyway despite breastfeeding. I'm sorry I can't remember whether you got any of your losses genetically tested?

It's so hard thinking back and trying to pick out what you did or didn't do to cause it to happen. Like I worry I didn't do enough exercise but then the pregnancy books said don't exercise in hot and humid conditions and that's just what the conditions are like here! Or was it the filing/lifting heavy boxes I did at work because I didn't want to tell everyone so early. Or is there something wrong with my body. Such a mindfuck.

My DH is totally on board with trying again so we've both started pregnacare preconception and are dtd loads (despite all signs of imminent ovulation drying up on my end...).

Rachy you think you had an anovulatory cycle straight after your MC right? I think mine is going to be as well 😒 just hoping it doesn't last too long...

@Betty and @Kinsters I have also done reading on progesterone as I was given it the last two pregnancies which both ended in miscarriage. There is lots of contradictory evidence out there but you are right, basically if you don't have enough it is because the pregnancy probably wasn't going to last anyway, rather than not having enough and needing to supplement.

If/when I get pregnant again I won't take it again. I have had missed miscarriages both times and I think the progesterone helped to mask it. I would rather just know earlier. My progesterone was much higher this last time but I miscarried earlier. It was lower the first time and I made it to 8 1/2 weeks.

@kinsters I’m convinced my post MC - pre AF cycle was anovulatory. :(
Getting concerned about this one too
With a26 day cycle (last one was) I should be in most fertile period now and I’m not showing any signs and OPK (ic’s) are all laughably negative.
CB Monutor keeps saying high but research leads me to think it does this first cycle using. If I don’t think I Ov this month by day 20 im going to call go and ask for day 21 test to see x

Call GP, not go!! Ffs!! Lol

Funny you should say that about exercise @kinsters. I worry I did too much^ exercise with our first two losses so all I did with Popsy was gentle walking as far back as when I had confirmed ovulation that cycle, but that still ended in shit .
My first two pregnancies (and during my 9 weeks with Emily) I behaved completely normally, just cut out the main food things and they were fine. In fact, with DS1 I got absolutely wankered when I was 7 weeks pregnant and had no idea and he is very healthy!
My last two I did pretty much everything I could to keep our babies safe and nothing worked. As you say, it is a mindfuck!

I have no idea about BFing and TTC, I'm afraid @Betty. I don't know how the hormones all work. I did think that you couldn't get pregnant while BFing, or at least it was very hard to do so, but I think my knowledge is very dated.

@Twittle any symptoms today ?

@Rose How about you? I have had little niggles low down, like very mild period pain (but too early for period), which I had with all my pregnancies. Have you told DH that you have ovulated and in TWW? I keep going to tell DP, but I know he will get over protective and worried, and I don't think that is necessary.

My temp has risen again nicely. Ovu still saying I ov'd on CD34, but FF saying CD32. My temp is very similar to my Popsy cycle at 4DPO so that would make FF spot on.

@Rachy talking of strange dreams, (yours was hilarious btw!), I had one last night. DP had invited my nasty poisonous ex friend on a holiday with us and she tried to kill us by pouring water over the electricity. Nice!

Morning everyone,

@ProseccoBee glad to have you back & glad that you've lived up to your name during Christmas & New Year. I've given up caffeine too - how are you finding it so far?

How exciting @TwittleBee I'm keeping everything crossed for you 😘 xx

@Kinsters @Frazzlerock I think you can dissect every single thing to death, but ultimately the chances are it's nothing you, i or anyone else has done. A work colleague of DHs gave birth last month, she had no idea until she was 24 weeks, she's 35, was smoking, drinking, partying hard if you get my drift... up until then, but had a completely healthy baby boy. Absolutely no way have you, I or anyone else on this thread threatened their baby as much as she did and yet her pregnancy was viable because of luck. That's all it boils down to. And it's so frustrating.

What an awful dream Frazzle! My dreams are still all over the shop too... last night I had a really, really vivid dream that I was going out with Prince Harry & spending Christmas with the Royal Family. I was absolutely tearing my hair out as I had nothing to wear for church 😩 @Rachyrach83 I blame you for making me think about the royals subconsciously 😂

How exciting about the little temp rise though!! I'm keeping my fingers & toes crossed for you too.

I'm on day 3 of a flashing smiley... is that normal?... dh struggled to erm, perform, under pressure last night & we both overslept this morning so hoping we've still got another shot.

@BettySwoll0cks trust me, everyone everywhere is not doing it all the time 😫 I completely understand why you have a complex about it.

Oh I had another dream that I just remembered. DP's mum has severe mental health issues and she has been quite bad since we had her over for Christmas, ringing us all the time to check we are okay and hearing voices (paranoia is one of her many issues). Anyway, in my dream she turned up at our garden door having walked from London in her nightgown, and she was drunk. She came all the way to see if we were okay.
It is weird that I had these dreams as I never ever remember my dreams but I do get them in pregnancy... Though maybe I get them in the TWW regardless, I don't know Hormones innit.

Wow, @rather, your DH's colleague must have been very lucky! That is incredibly unfair though. We could ask 'why us' until the end of time and we'd never get an answer would we.

@Frazzle, yes DH knows, but he is quite different to your DP, he just carries on as normal during the tww. It’s too early for any signs yet. But talking about dreams I had various vivid dreams last night, one of which was we were keeping 2 horses in our garage, which we would occasionally walk round our garden. It was stressing me out big time because obvs our garage is not suitable for keeping horses in and neither is our garden, but everyone was telling me they had to stay. It must be all the horse talk on here!

So temps stayed high this morning BUT I had like 0 sleep... I actually think I am ill too, I feel awful but could be the 0 sleep. DS was just up all night screaming unless I held and rocked him (he is 18 months ffs and usually sleeps through fine!). Anyway I am now convinced I will have a CP or early MC if this keeps up because being ill is not good in early stages plus sleep is totally vital for TTC and early pregnancy. Trying to not stress and shall be finding it hard to stick to my 1 coffee limit today. At least it is only a half day at work I guess!

Frazzle Either way, both say you ovulated at rough same time so YAY and you done BD then too! Looking hopeful!

Rather I think anything is normal regarding OPKs. When I used those ones I actually never got a flashy, would always jump straight to solid but I also know people on here that would only get flashing and never a solid (they conceived too).

Rachy It can take a while to get things back to normal, I am stil convinced that your last "period" was actually you body dispelling retained product as how you described it fits. Worth talking to GP or EPU for sure.

Betty in regard to BFing, I know one lady that had a MC whilst BFing, she was told that her BFing most likely meant her unborn baby wasn't getting enough supplies (she had slow growth which ended in a late miscarriage). But I also know another lady who conceived whilst BFing and then weaned her DD off before 2nd trimester and she looks to carry to term. I think though, as you arent BFing that frequently really and as long as you keep up your food and vits then you should be able to conceive and carry to term just fine?

Oh no sorry @Rose!!!!!!!

@Twittle sorry you had no sleep at all.... sounds rubbish.. Any consolation, I think it's quite normal to feel "rundown" in the early stages x

@BettySwoll0cks definitely not doing it all the time. We really struggle a lot of the time to have energy, go to bed at the same time etc. We have done it once in the last 2 weeks.......

Welcome back @proseccobee!

I just went for a coffee with a friend this morning (who is a really good supportive friend) who told me she thinks she is pregnant. Which is fantastic as she has been trying for over a year. And of course I am super happy for her. BUT......but, little sad too. Can't help it.

So I have had ewcm the last 2 days but still negative OPK. It is a slightly darker line for the first time today. I am refusing to use my Clearblues until this first weird cycle is over so I am using the cheapo sticks I have stockpiled which I don't usually like as hard to read. A smiley face is much easier. Although I like the pink ones not the blue ones which flash.
Today the ewcm is very watery and I don't usually get it. Is this even more fertile than egg white?

Ah my message crossed over with yours @Twittlebee - sorry. I know how awful lack of sleep is recently and how unwell it can make you feel so I am feeling for you today. The worst thing you can do is stress. One night of no sleep is not the end of the world at all. Tell yourself positive thoughts x