The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

[Frazzlerock]

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

ratherbeshowjumping I also hope you're OK and have people you can talk to. This is such a stressful thing to go through. Is it worth doing couples counselling or anything like that?

edidxb it's a 12 hour flight if you go direct but we went via Oman this time to save money. Just finished the first 7 hour leg with a child kicking and screaming behind me now onto the next one...

That sucks about the negative test. I'm really hoping that I'll fall pregnant straight away and not have to deal with a period but realise it's unlikely as I have no idea when I'll ovulate plus the chances of it happening first cycle are low. I'm sure it won't stop me doing loads of tests though! Going to get back on it with temping and opks in the new year.

@rather Oh no! I’m so so sorry to hear that! How absolutely horrid for both of you. Can you give yourself a bit of time and then see how you feel? This might not be the best time to make such a big decision, but then only you know how you really feel. I remember you saying things about him on the July thread... leaving you to do everything etc... Sending you much love and hugs

As for me... I usually get smiley face on the cb digital and then get ovulation pains later that day. It should be today, but no ov pains yet and no smiley face either. Tons of ewcm though, which is funny after I said it had been lacking recently. Hopefully dtd will be a bit more successful tonight.

I know this is bad but I can’t help wondering who will be the first on here to get a bfp. I know it won’t be me... I’m not holding out much hope, although I intend to try for a couple of months yet, if DH stays on board that is.

Thank you all ladies, it is a bit comforting to know that we aren't the only ones who are coming out of this feeling disunited. Everything I seem to do, he picks holes in... on Friday, I made us some cheese & crackers but apparently he asked for the tomato chutney, not the onion chutney, and he blew up about how I don't respect or listen to him. Yesterday we were at the beach with the dogs & as I opened the car door, the puppy jumped over the back seats, escaped & ran up to a little boy, licked him & made him cry. I apologised profusely to the parents & felt awful - they were absolutely fine, it was no issue- but he started shouting at me & called me "brain dead" in front of an entire public car park. This morning, he found a dress with labels in it in the wash bin that I'd put in there by mistake instead of the charity shop bag & came storming into the bathroom when I was in the shower shouting at me as to why I'd done that.

There's so many examples & today I was just like 🤷🏽‍♀️ fuck this, I can't do this anymore.

Perhaps time can help, perhaps counselling can, I don't want to give up & this is the most awful perspective of someone who is usually kind, sensitive & generous... perhaps it's hormones, self-blame for loosing the baby, self-doubt about my competency of being a wife and mother, self-loathing for being so awfully jealous of every pregnant person around me, the feeling that I'm not good enough to be a mum... all complete & utter nonsense that I've not shared with a soul... I just don't think I can deal with the one person who's meant to have my back knocking me down more when I'm already feeling rock bottom.

@rather
It sounds like he is as stressed as you, and if he's anything like my DH he won't ever take responsibility for being a dick, but we dust off and carry on.

Maybe time quality together is as beneficial as time apart?? Xx

Re who gets BFP first, I wonder that too... and I can honestly say I think you lot are the only people I wouldn't be jealous of getting PG! I'd be so pleased for every one of you as I know you'd be pleased for me xx

That's true @Rachyrach83 I think he is as stressed, if not more so.

I feel exactly the same - I will feel nothing but joy when we start seeing bfps popping up. I do hope our lovely group stays together xx

Hi all, jist teying to catch up as been manic here with DS being poorly and getting ready for Nye

Rather I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I'm awful with relationship advice but please do feel able to talk and vent as much as you want to me and everyone else on here. So so so shit to be feeling so down already and then having all the crap from your DH too. I will suggest maybe it's worth telling DH how you feel about how your self-doubt and being rock bottom and counselling has worked wonders for my parents. Sometimes neither side realises the other persons perspective. Sending you lots of love xx

BFPs hopefully for us all soon and even more hopefully that they are all beautifully healthy babies and pregnancies etc for us too!!! Will be strange when BFPs start rolling out. I just realised I'm on CD26 actually, usually AF would be showing up any time from tomorrow...

Yes I forgot to say I would be so happy for any bfp’s on here, it might feel a bit strange when I’m the only one left though, but I would still be really happy for everyone else.
I think my ov pains are starting. Bugger

@rose no reason u will be last.... infact... if your Ov pains are here u may be first!! 😂

@ratherbeshowjumping I feel so so sad for you. Like th others have said please please don't make any rash decisions.

I know this isn't the same and I have no idea what either of you are feeling right now but I wanted to give you some solidarity by telling you DP and I also really struggled after losing our last two babies, and for a very long time. Emotions are bonkers after you lose a baby, whether it is one, two, or ten. Even if you feel like you're okay and dealing with things, pain and grief runs very very deep for both of you. You are both bound to say unpleasant things to one another.
I know you said you've only been married for 6 months, but how long have you been together, if you don't mind me asking?
It doesn't really matter but DP and I were still very much learning about eachother when we lost our first two so we said some awful things as we just didn't know how to cope with eachother's feelings.

I hope so much that you work things out, whatever you do. But please just give it some time and, when things have calmed down, find some time for both of you to sit down and talk, without anyone talking over the other one. Always have one person talking and the other one listening. I also said the same as you (the one person who's meant to have my back knocking me down more when I'm already feeling rock bottom.) but we were both at rock bottom and both hurting eachother. I just couldn't see that.
As always we are all here for you

Re BFPs, You lot are the one bunch of people I truly want to see BFPs from. Though, @Rose, I think I will be last because of my wanky PCOS.

@ Sun 30-Dec-18 18:34:55
Hi all, jist teying to catch up as been manic here with DS being poorly and getting ready for Nye

Rather I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I'm awful with relationship advice but please do feel able to talk and vent as much as you want to me and everyone else on here. So so so shit to be feeling so down already and then having all the crap from your DH too. I will suggest maybe it's worth telling DH how you feel about how your self-doubt and being rock bottom and counselling has worked wonders for my parents. Sometimes neither side realises the other persons perspective. Sending you lots of love xx

BFPs hopefully for us all soon and even more hopefully that they are all beautifully healthy babies and pregnancies etc for us too!!! Will be strange when BFPs start rolling out. I just realised I'm on CD26 actually, usually AF would be showing up any time from tomorrow...

@Tinsel (what will your name be in NY...?) I'm sorry your boy is ill, I hope he gets better soon.

Can anyone tell me if this is a positive OPK?
I'm on laptop so will upload from mobile in a sec, along with my FF chart

ha, mad copy and paste going on in my post, you can ignore my copy of @tinsel's post. I wish we could edit our posts!

Btw, I've put EWCM for 2 days ago but I'm not sure it really was. I had to rummage for it l and there was barely anything there but it was the only thing I could describe it as

100% looks positive to me @frazzle!!
Get on it! Literally!!

My clearblue monitor was high again but internet cheapie says otherwise. I've decided to 'monitor' it on a morning and internet cheapie it on evening.

Read that the cbfm (clearblue fertility monitor) takes a cycle to get used to your levels, and peaks are accurate but 'high' readings aren't in the first cycle.

Saying that after a wee today and on wiping out of nowhere there was brown sludge (soz!) which means this AF has actually been on and off for 7 days now and no way it is OV time if AF is still lurking! The bitch!

Had a good chat with DH today (after his apology by means of bringing me a cup of tea- men!) and said it may not be the most romantic thing but we are going to aim for 4 times a week until a peak when we will do it everyday for 3 days.

@ratherbeshowjumping Have a look at your wedding pics. Think how you felt that day. If noone has cheated and no one has done something to lose trust in fidelity, then feelings don't go away in 6 months. Xx

I am using the cbfm for the first time @Rachyrach83 but don't get to test for a couple more days. Am relying on this to work!

Which internet cheapies do you use?

Aww tinsel I'm so sorry your little one is poorly. I hope he is on the mend soon 💕

Thank you Frazzle, your post really helped me. We've been together for 3 years - not that long, I guess - it always been the real life fairy-tale, love at first sight type relationship but recently we've just argued and argued and argued. Shouting at me for mixing up an item of clothing just felt like the straw that broke the camels back, iyswim? His mum is a really spiteful, nasty lady & it terrifies me when I see glimpses of her in him, or hear phrases or ideas parroted from her mouth.

I don't want to do anything rash. He's in the spare room right now watching Netflix. We've not said a word to each other & managed to completely avoid each other. I think counselling would help - if just to have a mediator.

I feel really embarrassed that a marriage could possibly end after 6 months 🤦🏽‍♀️

@Rachyrach83 glad you & DP are back on track. A cup of tea is the best form of apology 👏🏼

You're completely right. They don't go away. I love him more than I ever knew was possible, I just hate arguing, especially over petty things. I vowed as a 21year old that I would never wear a wedding ring & as a result, wouldn't get married (very outing but had an accident which caused a huge deformity to my left hand) only for me to meet him & tell my DM a month later that he could possibly be an exception to that rule.

Also Frazzle, looks +ive to me!! Go for it.

@rather
Maybe just offer an olive branch tomorrow, just a gesture to get you talking again, a cup of tea or a offer of a drink from the kitchen etc.

Relationships are about peaks and troughs. You just lost a baby. This is the lowest of all the lows. There’s only up from here.

@smerlin
Yey we are cbfm buddies!! Does it tell you to test on day 6?? I’m Day 7 now. Be good to compare notes

@frazzle my internet cheapies are these.... any other recommendations grateful sought!

@Rachyrach83 but doesn't the test line have to be the same darkness or darker than the control line? My test line is slightly lighter than the control line... Oh I don't know! I will see what my temp does tomorrow. We are dtd every other day so should catch my elusive little egg at some point

I bought mine from this seller on EBay...

I bought a load for £5.99

Sounds like you and DH are back on form which is wonderful news!

@ratherbeshowjumping I'm glad I was able to help a little, I remember it so well and it was such a hard time. And don't be worried about only being married for 6 months! I was with my ex for ten years in total. Got married, then split about 8 months later 😂

I’m no expert but these are the instructions that came with mine.... which mars yours very positive!!

Can I just say sorry for all the typos!!
I’m not thick, I can spell, I just have fake nails on and can’t type!!! 😂😂😂

Right.... so let’s get positive!
I’m going to be pregnant soon so I might as well get this Christmas gift drunk..... glittery gingerbread gin y’say.... go on then!! Xx

Ah cool 😁
I'm still not convinced because of #fuckingPCOS but if I get a good temp tomorrow then I will be happy!

I was meant to say @Rachyrach83 NICE nails! 😍

Oh wow, that looks special!

I'm now wondering if I am ovulating then I should lay off the booze NYE... 🤔 😓

These are my Xmas nails!! Let my nail tech loose on Xmas eve....

They're awesome!

I used to love having mine done but my crappy real nails were destroyed.

They grew beautifully in pregnancy and have managed to hold up. Check out my longest nail to date 😲

(This is the first time I've noticed how crooked my fingers are)

Oh bugger. I've uploaded 6 pics today. I will just have to show you my nail progression tomorrow when it will be even longer 😜

Love those nails! I am CD3 now (didn't count the spotting) so will test on Weds.

I think we should all just drink for now- surely a few drinks makes no difference until you have a placenta anyway, or does is affect conception?