The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

[Frazzlerock]

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

Ok well it would be good to compare to see how our readings compare 👍🏼
I’m drinking tonight, not plastered... just to enjoy!

@smerlin I'm a bag of paranoia so I'm terrified of any alcohol after ovulation.
Mind you, back in the lovely blissfully unaware days of being preg with DS1 I had no idea I was preg until about 7 weeks and I once went out and drank rather a lot (before I knew) and got pretty trashed! He is now a massive 13 year old boy who is almost taller than me

Goodness I've been offline for a day and it's just taken me nearly an hour to catch up!

@ratherbe I'm so sorry you and DH are having such a horrendous time. Perhaps this is the moment to be completely honest with him about how you are feeling (about yourself, the loss, his behaviour). If you really feel like things could be at tipping point then it could be the moment to get it all out in the open?

Well I reckon I will most definitely be the last to make progress towards that bfp! I feel like I have a mountain to climb to get there. I have only just about stopped bleeding after mc, I feel I need to wean DS before we try again (could be messing with implantation) and also I just don't have nearly as much sex as the rest of you!!! Ha ha. Tbh I just don't really enjoy it so I struggle to do it as much as we probably should. I'll have to make more of an effort I guess but it's always through gritted teeth so I'll usually find any excuse not to. Ho hum.

Just getting over the flu as well and a bit on the fence about what to do for NYE. DH and I are supposed to be going to his friends' place for dinner and drinks but I am really not feeling it. What's everyone else up to?

Hey @BettySwoll0cks

I can imagine it's tricky if you're not always up for it. Get him to do it in a cup and grab the turkey baster 😜

I'm sorry you've had the flu. Did you get around to having the flu jab while preg? I had mine, which was bitter sweet.

NYE we've got our friends' annual party. They live the other end of the village so easy enough to get there and back. They have a theme every year and this year it's 70's but we've not been in the mood to get organised. DP said he'd take some mash and keep handing it out until someone twigs what he is...

We had some good news today. One of our lovely friends nominated us for a competition to win local panto tix with a meal at Wagamamas and we won! It was for families who've had a rough time and deserved something special.
I kind of feel like a fraud as there are lots of people financially so much worse off than us, but we have had a hellish couple of years.
Just a bit weird to get something like this for free when we could probably afford it if we'd got our act together.

Anyway, we are going tomorrow so should be fun!

Frazzle if I was you I would discard your temps up to CD11 as they are probably that high due to pregnancy hormones btw! Also get on it! You say you don't usually get any EWCM so even if you has to rummage for it I would count it!!! Jump to it!

Oh and for my name, I will be back to Twittle. Actually might change it after this post.

Rachy brilliant to read about you and DH back on track. I actually always make DH a cuppa when apologising haha! So bloody frustrating about AF though! That gin and those nails though! So gorgeous!

Im with Smerlin regarding us all getting drunk!

Oh Betty I am sorry you've been so ill and had such a long bleed to post MC. You can get a device called Stork which means you can get DH to ejaculate and then put it up there, although I reckon getting some fertility lube would be a good idea too.

For NYE we have our 2 best friends coming over dinner, drinks and board games. I'm gonna decorate the place too.

Hope we all have a wonderful 2019 and a great time tonight ladies!

So FF has removed the solid cross hairs unsurprisingly and guessing my temp is low again and the circle on today is open as took my temp at silly o clock in the morning. Idk why I'm just struggling with insomnia tonight

Morning all,
Sorry about the insomnia @Tinselbee - I know how that feels after the last week, and that's why my chart just doesn't work at all. Your temp could be low, but it could be you waking up. Not a helpful comment I am aware!! I think if you have EWCM again it might mean you haven't ovulated though.......but your BDing seems really regular which has to be positive! I am convinced that the 2 times I have got pregnant was with sperm that was at least 3 days old too, so it is possible.

@ratherbeshowjumping I'm so sorry to read what you are going through. I agree with previous comments about 6 months not being long at all in the grand scheme of things, and the love is probably still there. But a good long talk is needed. Which I know is easier said than done as my DH doesn't like to talk about anything and it is really hard when one of us is upset to have a reasonable conversation about anything. That being said, if after a few weeks you are still really unhappy, you know yourself whether staying and being unhappy is a wise decision or not. There is no right or wrng answer here but I do hope you can have some good conversations soon xxxx

@Frazzlerock - Wagamama is literally my most favourite restaurant in the world so congrats on winning! I'm not the biggest fan of panto at all but it could what is needed to just have a laugh and forget about everything! I'm not sure why I like Wagamama so much - it's a chain, you can get it most places etc etc but I just do. When I was at university, I lived with a girl who was American and she invited me to her house in London in one of the holidays (in first or second year). So I was about 19 and whilst I had lived in Edinburgh before uni and was reasonably cultured etc I had never been to anything like a Japanese restaurant. Her mother took us both to Wagamama in London when it was still pretty new (we are talking about the year 2000 here) and I ordered ramen as that is what they ordered and I literally had no idea how to eat it and I was so embarassed with my slurping and noodles and broth going everywhere. But I loved it and have loved it ever since!!!

It's hard with the BFPs but like everyone else, I will be genuinely happy for everyone. It took me 6 months after my last mc to get pregnant again, and the first time I got pregnant it took one month so who knows! But I am turning 37 in Jan which scares me a lot.

I am not doing anything tonight at all. I can't face the traffic there will be in Dubai and I don't want to pay over the odds for any type of gala dinner etc. My DH and I will stay home by ourselves. We are going to have a BBQ and I have just bought some nice burgers and some pork burgers and sausage (which is obviously banned in Dubai and you have to go to special shops with licenses to get it!) We have a bottle of champagne in the fridge and I am happy with that!

I am off to the mall in a moment for something to do. I am "working from home" today but I don't have anything to do. I was meant to meet a friend for coffee at 12 but she has just cancelled on me so I'm going to walk around some shops instead.

Have a great NYE everyone - I may be back later to say hello again.

Back home now and so so tired. Had a great holiday in London though eating good food and drinking lots of wine. Had a massive amount of ewcm in my pants when I got off the plane so going to try and stir myself (and DH) into action. I don't think it will be easy. Maybe after we've had a nap.

The jet lag tiredness has come at a useful time as I feel how I did when I was pregnant so it's now relatable for DH.

I really hope we all very quickly get our bfps in the new year!

Morning!
Glad u had a nice time in London @kinsters
Jet lag is awful!!

I haven't been great with temping this cycle what with staying at mums on Xmas and generally not being in routine
I forgot yesterday (DH woke me with a cuppa and it went out of my head) .... but since Saturday my temp has dropped a whole degree!! Wtf?!
For what it's worth I'll put the chart on.

Dtd last night, how we used to be, very steamy, and for a while forgot it was about making babies which was nice!!

Wtf is that, have I moved to the Antarctic???

@Betty I really struggled with sex while I was breast feeding and for a while afterwards, actually I didn’t just struggle, it really hurt. Maybe if you are still bf it’s affecting you too? I did get back to normal eventually.

@Rather how are you feeling today?

I got smiley face on CB digital this morning, and dtd more successfully last night (although it all seemed to come out when I went to the toilet). Hopefully we will get to dtd today too, but we are staying at a friends so it’s going to be tricky.

It won’t be me with a bfp because I’m too old. DH totally twigged what I was up to last night (it was quite obvious ) but he was up for it and even suggested positions he thought might work better. So that’s good, and at least we can have some fun even if it doesn’t lead to anything (I’m trying not to stress).

Love those nails and the gingerbread gin looks great too, where was that from? I don't think I've seen it in the shops before.

DH & I talked all night, slept a bit, and talked again this morning. We had a long conversations about feelings which is an enormous leap for us. A few things came up but most prevalently, he's really struggling with losing this baby - 7/9 of the guys in his team at work (very close) either have very pregnant partners or have had a little one in the past few months - apparently there's baby chat all day, every day in the office which he can't escape. He doesn't feel he can confide in or talk to anyone about what he's feeling & he doesn't feel he's grieved for the child he's lost. He is resentful for the strong network I've got of close friends, my DM, DSis, DAunt (he also mentioned Mumsnet 👏🏼👍🏼).
It is really hard for him to open up so I'm pleased he has. We've agreed to go & speak to a counsellor in the new year as there's both stuff we need to work on & we both want to be the best version of ourselves for each other.

@Frazzlerock congratulations! Wagas is my favourite 😍 you've had a really shit time & this is clearly just a sign that luck is on the up 👏🏼🤞🏼 don't feel you're not worthy of winning - enjoy it for what it is!

@TinselBee I'm sorry to hear of your insomnia - as @edidxb said, you're bding loads so fingers crossed something will catch.

@Rose68 glad dh is on board that's fab news!! 👏🏼👏🏼

That's a really big drop Rachy how does the temp compare to your earlier charts?

My pregnancy test is negative! Didn't think I'd be so happy to squint at the test and not see anything! Hoping I'll ovulate tonight.

Does anyone else play video games? I've never been much of a gamer but DH got me red dead redemption 2 for my birthday and I'm loving it. Great escapism.

@kinsters - yay to a negative - weird isn't it! Not a gamer at all.........
@Rose68 - yay to DTD!
@Ratherbeshowjumping - I am so pleased you got to speak to each other. It's such a shit time for both husband and wife.
@Rachrach83 - I can't work in fahrenheit I am afraid. My first cycle temping I converted centigrade to F but now just work in centigrade.

I only temped the month after MMC which was all over the place so can't really compare
My thermometer only gives F not C which is frustrating!
If no joy this month I might get a new one 👍🏼

The gin is from Asda, it's their extra special it's £12. It's lush in Prosecco too.... but makes it v alcoholic so beware! Lol x

ratherbe that sounds like a really positive conversation to have. I think it's difficult going through tough times and learning how to communicate with each other during that. I definitely remember having issues with sharing my feelings with DH and I still do to a certain extent, just have to try not to slip back into bad habits .

Rachy oh weird, I did wonder why it was in F! Most should have the option to switch to C?

Ergh we should be getting ready to go out to a new years party with FILs friends - I really can't be arsed to go. Would much prefer to stay at home in my pj's.

@Rachy your chart and Antarctic comment made me giggle, I’m not sure if that’s the appropriate response . I also can’t work in F and I don’t understand these charts either, but that definitely doesn’t look right to me.

@Ratherbe that’s great that you managed to talk, men definitely deal with these things in very different ways to us, and I certainly find that hard. DH’s comment about our baby not actually being a baby did rather piss me off, but I made myself not react to it, which for me was a massive achievement.

@Tinsel I hope your DS is feeling a bit better today.

I shall certainly be drinking tonight, I think (according to statistics) I have about a 2% to 5% chance of conception. I would like to believe it to be higher than that, but I am certainly not going to waste what will hopefully be a good evening stressing that I might be pregnant.

Rachy so your temp was closer to 36.6 then dropped down to 36.0 I think, if I've worked that out right? Is a bit drop still. Your temps could have been high due to period and they've now dropped down? Probably will go back up to approx 36.2 / 36.3 tomorrow. Unless of course your gonna get v drunk in which case probably be higher!

I'll catch up properly in a bit btw. Just out doing grocery run

Thanks all who asked about DS. He's still not himself but is a lot better and had a good 13 hour sleep last night!

edidxb yeah I think it's where I woke up so early tbh as previously early wakes have also resulted in lower temps. Thanks for taking a look btw.

Actually sounds like a lovely NYE planned btw. And also I'm with you on Wagamamas!

kin good luck with ovulating!! FX! I used to be a bit of a gamer (actually had a bloomin twitch channel and regularly streamed and competed) is such a good escapism isn't it!

Rose good on you for planning on getting a good drink on tonight! I'm with you on that.

Rather that sounds so positive and I am sorry he's also been struggling. But great that you two are gonna be more open now. Xx

Right.... phones away now as I settle in to my curry and film with the family in our PJs.
Happy new year to you all!
I prey it’s our year for each and every one of us.
2018 had been a massive pile of sh*t and I’m confident 2019 is going to be the one! 🌟
Happy new year 🥳 xx

Happy new year ladies! I have just worked out that DH is very likely to be away at ovulation next month. I’m thinking I need to move on from this obsession and find something more constructive for my 2019 time.
I hope 2019 brings all of you everything that you want xxx

Happy New Year everyone. Very much hope we all manage to have a happy and healthy 2019 and end it with little bundles of joy. Fingers crossed x

Happy new year everyone! I was in bed by 11pm 😅

No ovulation for me yet as my temperature this morning was also arctic!

Rose68 my DH works away a lot and I'm always obsessing about how close to O we can manage sex. The best/worst was when he got back at 2am the day after I ovulated. I made him wake me up as soon as he got in so we could try!

TwittleBee I meant to also say that's so cool you had a twitch! I'm terrible at games! I guess it's the kind of thing that gets harder to do when you have kids.