The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

[Frazzlerock]

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

Oh @Buggles1 I am so very sorry. You're in good hands here though.

We've all come over from the 'Due in July' antenatal thread which we so very sadly had to leave. You are more than welcome too join us , I hope this thread brings us all the luck we all deserve.

I have knocked work on the head and have started wrapping more presets. Why is there so much!! Not helped by having to wrap even more for DP's birthday on Sunday

@buggles. Welcome, but so sorry you’re here with us! Totally heartbreaking isn’t it? Especially I think getting so close to the aupppsed “safe zone” of 12 week scan. I feel your heartbreak and share it. Totally sucks! Hope you’re being well looked after at home x

Hi @buggles.
Being here is completely s**t but very helpful to feel there is somewhere to turn when you have a question, a worry or just a rant.
The ladies welcomed me and have been my salvation in last few weeks. (And are a wealth of knowledge!!)
I had erpc too (but without any natural passage) at 9 weeks. That was 22 days ago now.
I’m 35 and ttc number 1 too, so I can know what you are feeling right now.
Hope you are ok and we can help pick you up a bit when you are ready for that.
Until then wallow, cry, scream and sulk. You deserve it xxxx

Oh @buggles I'm so so sorry to see you here. You were due the day after me
@Frazzlerock has done an outstanding job in creating this thread. I think we've all ranted, worried, questioned and even celebrated tiny successes here. As hard as it is, this thread has kept me sane during the darkest 4 weeks (to the day) of my life.

I hope you're OK as you can be, and you're being looked after at home. Sending lots and lots of love to you. We are all here when you're ready to rant/cry/talk xxxx

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the support and comfort we can give each other.
I honestly thought getting to the magic 12 weeks meant I was clear, even though I had nagging feelings about loss of pregnancy symptoms etc.

On a more positive and looking forward note... I read a lot from you all about how to improve egg quality. My brain was trying to fight all sorts of emotions while reading the last 16 pages and so many products were mentioned that I got a bit lost! Can anyone recommend suppliements that could possibly improve viability?
Thanks again for the support X

Oh and absolutely @frazzlerock you’ve done an amazing job with these threads and I’m amazed by how you manage to keep up with everything. I wish I could be so on the ball!

Welcome @Buggles1 and sorry for your loss. Hopefully we will all have sticky babies in 2019! [santa][santa][santa]

Oh Buggles I am so so so sorry to read you've had to join us but welcome and glad you've found us for company.

So I'm sitting in a car park trying to find courage to face my sister and her newborn at my grandads birthday meal... this is after having my work Xmas lunch with the lady on mat leave being there and no one warned her I had a MC (last time she saw me I told her I was PG) so that was awkward and yet she continued to talk about how amazing new born baby life is and how she loves that her family of 5 is now complete. Etc etc.

Sending hugs @TinselBee that's really shit. I hope despite everything, you have a nice night tonight.

I've had a really shit afternoon. Test came back as clearer than day BFN. DH thinks we still have "hope" this cycle. It's a FRER so I am very doubtful.

We've just had a massive, massive argument. I'm sat in the kitchen, he's sat in the lounge.
All because MIL said how upset she was that I didn't like her post on FB 😡 & DH asked me if I could just like her stuff to keep the peace.

1. I'll like what I want to like, as & when
2. I get the time to actually sit on FB

Time to get some gin out. Happy fucking Christmas 🤷🏽‍♀️

Oh god @rather!!
Bloody Facebook! How old is she??!!

My ex MIL was one of these who believed 'liking and sharing' everything would either a) make you win it or b) stop a kitten dying or some other crap!! So I blocked her!! That caused a massive row too!

Post a 'pain in the arse mother-in-law' meme and see if she likes that!!

On a seperate note .... I'm STILL getting negative OPKs..... day 23 surely it should be coming soon?? I've tested everyday since around day 15 and I'm thinking I'm not ovulating at all this cycle. I just hope AF turns up soon to reset me :(

@Rachyrach83 she's 66 ffs. It's not like I didn't say "happy anniversary" either - we took them for dinner last night and she told me in great detail all about the MOST beautiful baby her next door neighbors just had.

I didn't like the post because I've unfollowed her as she's does exactly the same 🙈 constant updates "life is just so unfair" cue the "what's wrong?" "Pm me xx" & the obligatory "share if you like the sunshine" posts 😫

Lol fab idea.... "share if your MIL is a bit of a twat..." 🙈

That's really frustrating!! FWIW I think I ov'd on day 17 as opposed to day 12/13. My cycles are usually set your watch 24 days but am currently on 30 with no sign of AF.

@rather how immature!!
The ex MIL once shared a picture of a dog with a ‘burnt’ face asking for a million likes to show the dog it was a hero..... the dog wasn’t burnt in a heroic act of saving its owner... it just had a slice of wafer thin ham on its face!! That was the final straw... I full on blocked her 👍🏼😂

Ah it’s completely rubbish being out of sync - FX for new year resets xx

@ratherbeshowjumping how ridiculous- can't believe your DH thinks you should like your MIL's posts to keep the peace ! Surely he realises how childish that is!

@Rachyrach83 wafer thin ham 😂😂😂 as though the dog would've given a shit how many 'likes' it got anyway 🙄

Just wondering.... where are we all from?? Reading the comments about the difference in treatments etc made me wonder.....
I’m from Birmingham, England x

Jesus @Rachyrach83 that's unhinged 🙈 those types of posts really do irritate me so much. No one in real life has ever said to me, "you know what, if you'd have just shared that post Rather, that dog really will know how heroic he is..."
What I think I'd be most impressed about is if I managed to get my dogs to allow me to put some ham on their face & them not eating it before I'd have chance to take a picture....---- 😂🤷🏽‍♀️

I'm from Bristol but living in Cornwall.

It is amazing how much the advice & healthcare differs county to county.

It's only through research that I've actually discovered that Treliske Hospital, the only one here with a maternity unit, was recently rated less than adequate with their mat, gynae & end of life care. Absolutely terrifying.

Yes it's not even county to county, it's hospital to hospital. I am right in between Bury St Edmunds and Ipswich hospitals (Suffolk) and their protocols are completely different. They even use different pregnancy notes. I've found that people are totally polarised by their experience of care, many around here swear by one hospital and absolutely berate the other. It's extremely hit & miss, it seems to me.

Sorry to change the subject but back to tattoos ... what about little birds? I was thinking 3, for the 3 little babies I've lost

That's shocking Betty. Which one is said to be the better one?
Maybe I'm being unrealistic but I genuinely don't understand how it would be too much hassle to implement a system in every hospital & mat unit in the country in order for every woman to receive the same, continued care wherever they are in the UK.

Going back to the previous thread, I remember being in awe of some ladies receiving their booking appts & scan dates through as early as 5/6 weeks whilst others (myself included) had no contact at all until much, much later. I don't want to be told how to suck eggs but I did feel quite unsupported during the short time I was pg. Most of the information I received about what to do/take/eat drink, what to do if x happens, when you receive your booking appt, etc was gleaned through MN as opposed to a healthcare professional.

Surely women, especially first time mums, should at least be given this information when they contact their gps in the first instance?

That's beautiful Betty 😍

I agree it is completely mad. Bury hospital mat unit is rated higher than Ipswich but like I say, people form their allegiances based on their experiences. I am on a military base and the ladies here are very much split on which is better. I was grateful to have DS delivered safely at Bury, but I now look back and am q shocked by the lack of aftercare. I was discharged 24hrs after the birth and my baby had not yet managed to feed, he lost 13% of his body weight in that first week and I wasn't re admitted. He got sleepier and sleepier until my milk finally came in, and then I went private and he was diagnosed w tongue tie. I have subsequently read some awful stories about babies who had a similar start, but a tragic outcome.

@betty I love that!!! It's lovely!! Get it immediately lol!

I agree it's all so different
I got really good care at EPU and next day ERPC - and I have a GP who was happy to track my hcg both up (and sadly back down!)

I do feel under informed about 'what now' though and it's all very much 'wait and see' xx

That's truly awful. I'm so glad your son was ok but it sounds like you were really lucky.

Agree @Rachyrach83 follow up care is shocking. I only discovered that hcg levels were even monitored after reading this thread. There was no mention of anything like that, or a follow up appointment, just a come back in if the bleeding gets too heavy.

Rachy, it sounds like you're really lucky to have such a supportive Gp, he/she sounds fantastic xx

Don’t get me wrong.... nothing was ever offered!! But as soon as I asked and justified it with weak symptoms and private scan reading early they didn’t object.
When I MC I asked them to track it back down and she gave me 2 blood test forms and told me to go after 10 and 17 days.
Sometimes it’s about what you ask for and justify well enough... I’m quite persistent when it’s important so it was probably the easier option! Lol xx

I think hcg monitoring is more common is USA, but seems a pretty clear indicator of how things are going!
Mine didn’t double (raised by 15%) over 48hrs like it was supposed to and ultimately that was a clear sign the growth wasn’t right. I’ll definitely be pushing for close monitoring when I get my BFP next time xxx