The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

[Frazzlerock]

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

Morning all,

@BettySwoll0cks how are you doing this morning? If you're in a lot of pain today I was told by the sonographer at my scan with Emily that I should stock up on Solpadeine Plus or Max (can't remember which) in case I MCd naturally before my surgery. I never needed it but she said it was the best pain killer.

Hi @awakeatnight Yeah I did think the same as you but my ovulation window still hasn't disappeared this morning and I got a higher temp. I've put my preg chart and this cycle side by side and zoomed in. Temps are very similar. In fact in my preg chart at 1DPO my temp was lower than my supposed 1DPO this cycle...
I guess tomorrow will tell, if it rises again I think I can assume ovulation, if not then it was a blip in my hormones.

Pic to come...

How's everyone else?

🤔

Oh I meant to say thank you for that link, I will take a good read of it in a bit!

@Rachyrach83 crossed posts!

I have a couple of tattoos for Emily. I will show you in a sec
Well done for jumping your DH's bones but shame about the kitchen!

Right tattoos coming up...

The first is morse code for Emily. DP has the exact same on the opposite arm but on his forearm instead.

The second is an Emily Dahlietta flower

I'll need one for Popsy now and should probably include our little bean too

(The little rainbow on a thread around my wrist is from the rainbow baby pack that DP bought me when I was pregnant with Popsy, I decided to keep it on)

@frazzle they are lovely 😊
This is what I was thinking...

Any thoughts on DTD everyday vs every other day?

Oh I love that one @rachy go for it!

I'm not sure about every single day. I think that would completely take the fun out of it. We DTD every other day (if we can) leading up to ovulation and over ovulation and a bit past ov too. Seemed to work for my preg cycle.

Awake Yeah we do sperm meets egg plan but I always stress that the sperm might not still be alive and that we dont DTD everyday because it is hard with toddler who still wakes at night/ up early and also DTD everyday isnt great for sperm either. SO, I chart Ov because then I know if we DTD at least on that day we should have it covered hopefully. Tbf though, we do always manage it every 2-3 days usually anyway! Plus, I like to know when I have entered the TWW exactly. I find I usually Ov a day or two later post a +OPK.

Frazzle looking at those charts it really does seem you might still have some HCG in your system? Lovely tats Frazzle.

Tattoo idea is lovely btw. I still want to get a tattoo to cover my scars from when I attempted suicide so might tie do something that represents moving on from that and my loss from this MC.

So, forgot to say earlier... this morning's BFP was stronger than yesterday's FFS! Guess I had stronger pee this morning? It is sill faint tbf and is apparently a 10miu. I'll attach chart and pee stick pics in a bit

I also meant to add @awakeatnight that was my MC, not first AF But I have read that we are most fertile in this cycle or two.
Still, like you say, my temps might still be elevated from MC. Who bloody knows eh! It's a minefield. I will take a look a that link now

@TinselBee you may be right with my temps...

Oh no! Still BFP!?

I think your tattoo idea is lovely. I'm so sorry you've had such a rough ride xx

Chart and BFP pics attached.

Oh how frustrating @tinsel! Do you have a previous chart we can compare to?

@tinsel maybe you should wait for your rainbow and then cover the scars with something to represent that - a real sign of light out of darkness?

6 months into marriage I can pretty much persuade the DH to dtd everyday for a week or so....
I think I’ve written off this ‘cycle’ as a no go with how all over the place it’s been.
AF would be here on 28th if a 28 day cycle so probably be later but then it’s a go go for new year, my digital opk kit and getting to it properly x

Had to bloody search back on an old thread for it Frazzle as I stopped temping after that month, it is when I had a CP and I really just felt I was getting too obsessed with charting. haha. And thank you btw, did notice your comment, thankfully it was a few years ago now and I am very much out of the situation that got me that low.

Rachy That is a lovely idea actually and I do love rainbows, could also represent the crap I had to go through growing up as Bisexual.

oh Tinsel I'm so sorry you've had such a rough ride. I think a tattoo about moving on would be lovely. After our first mc almost 2 years ago, DH & I got matching tattoos of a little pair of feet. Mine is on my ankle, his is on his chest. They're really tiny, and usually I hate matching tattoos, but it does remind me of the little bean. Thinking of getting a heart drawn around it to represent the little one we've just lost.

Still no sign of AF, just a cold out in full force. I'm absolutely terrified to do a test. I don't feel pregnant at at all apart from sore boobs and am still feeling a bit crampy, so would be surprised if I am, but where is AF....! I've had AF symptoms for the past week now.

Morning all, I'm loving all the tattoo talk. I've got a couple of little ones but nothing to represent my lost little ones. I'm going to have a think about that!

Thanks for all your messages last night. I've had a terrible night on the couch (too much blood to lie down) with lots of cramping and bleeding but no big clots or anything yet. That's ok - the process has started so I'm confident it will all resolve itself.

DH is being a bit of an a*hole this morning. He's making it very clear what an inconvenience it all is that he needs to look after DS for a morning and is being really horrible and impatient with him. He must've made DS (2.5yrs) cry half a dozen times getting ready to out and do a few jobs together. To the point I said "oh FFS just leave him with me" but DH said that he's being so demanding (?) I'm not up to looking after him, it's a "total nightmare" having to take him but he'll have to. So anyway, I'm steeling myself to go and get in the shower, take some painkillers, fill my handbag with maxi pads and go collect DS to take him for brunch. I literally can't stand hearing him being upset

Got a couple of little tattoos, I mean

@TinselBee I can't work out the days on your previous chart but it looks to me like your temps are lower now than your previous charts on day 17? I would expect them to be higher if you still have HGC hanging about... ? The blue line on your previous chart is the same temp as you are now when you were ovulating. Maybe I am reading into it too much (much like my own), I'm not sure if you can compare two different cycles.

I also wanted to say I am so pleased for you that you are in a better place than you were.
I have been there. It was in the time when DP didn't want to try again after our two losses between April 2016 and June this year. If it weren't for my two big boys, I probably would have gone through with ending things. It was a horribly long and dark time, I was so desperate for my rainbow baby and couldn't see DP ever changing his mind back again.
Still, we are out of it now and things are a million times better. I changed in minutes. Just by him agreeing to try again. Crazy! Emotions are so fickle!

@BettySwoll0cks Oh you poor love. DH, as much as he is being an utter ARSE, he is probably dealing with this loss in his own way and taking it out on your little boy - which is really shit.
Has he been able to talk about his feelings to you? Sounds like he needs to if not xx

@betty
Men can be arseholes sometimes
Mine was the same bumping his gums about taking the kids to school 5days after my op as I’d started clotting after I had told him he was ok to leave me (because I was just spotting)- and they aren’t even my kids!!
I gave him a good dose of the f**ks and it it him straight. Maybe yours needs that too! X

Frazzle Yeah that is a confusing way FF has shown the dates actually! And yeah I noticed that too, wonder if it where I have a new thermometer ? or maybe we live in new house? or is now winter? Either way, I think it shows that maybe we cant be too reliant to comparing temps from cycle to cycle? That blue line was actually the one where I did fall pregnant and have the CP so maybe that is a good sign actually!! Oh no, now you have me hoping that my body be prime for implanting this time.

Sorry you have also had that horrid time too Frazzle. I think it is so important we all are open about how we feel because I honestly think I might not have tried to end my life if I felt like I could be open about it. Which is why I am rather open about it now, in case anyone else is struggling and feel like they cant talk.

Rather i feel for you! Was hoping you would have AF or a BFP by now so you wouldnt have to deal with AF or the wondering over Xmas day!

Betty he really does sound like he is being such a dick. I am sorry. He really doesnt sound like he knows how to deal with his emotions at all nor understand the exact pain and bleeding you are going through! Is there anyway you can talk to him later about it all? When my DH is being like that I find later on when I open up about how he made me feel by being like that but also understand he is going through a lot too he often realises what an arse he has been.

I've just a bundle of OPKS and preg tests.

I wanted to see if Ovusense and OPKs measure up at all. Though I know that OPKs are rubbish with PCOS but the past 3 years my cycles have been far more regular (touch wood) which is probably why I was able to fall preg three times. I might do a preg test when they arrive to see if I still have HCG left in there...

*I've just BOUGHT a bundle of...

Aww @Betty hope you're ok. He does sound like he's being a massive arse. No excuses, but hopefully this is just his way of dealing with it. When I first mc'd, my DH had a massive go at me about something of nothing (apologised profusely after....!!!) think it's just their way of coming to terms with what's going on. Again, certainly not right though. Sorry to hear you're bleeding so much too

Thanks Tinsel, I know I need to man up and just go and get a test. I just can't shake the feeling that AF is going to arrive imminently and I can't bear the thought of seeing just one single lonely line.

You're right he is just probably struggling in his own way. But he always does this when there is a crisis of sorts - goes into stressy useless mode because he doesn't know what to do - which means I have to kick back into action to deal w everything and I never get the chance to rest or recover.

Fwiw I think I'm just going to ignore this current "cycle" and wait until I've had my next AF before I think about trying again. Get this out of my system and try to understand a little bit where my body is at. I think it would do my head in a bit trying to guess what's happening symptoms wise (plus I can't imagine ever wanting to DTD again....)

Hello everyone,

I was due on 6th July but with much sadness in my heart I’m here to join you all. I started bleeding one day before our 12 wk scan and was immediately sent to the EPU. Sadly our little bump didn’t make it past 9 weeks.

I elected to have surgery but it took two days to admit me. I had about 4 hours of contractions and heavy bleeding the day before going in. I didn’t manage to pass the foetus though so still had to have the surgery.

This is the second MC in a row and I’m 39, almost 40, trying for our first child. I feel like time is running out and I also didn’t realise the sense of emptiness I’d feel post op. I guess after 12 weeks of getting used to being pregnant it makes sense to then feel pretty empty afterwards.

It’s taken me a while to catch up on the last 16 pages but reading all your experiences is incredibly helpful. I feel somewhat calmer knowing I’m not alone. You’re a lovely bunch of ladies and I hope we all have better outcomes next time around. X