The July '19ers - knocked down, but never beaten

[Frazzlerock]

Hey @TinselBee, @Rose68, @BettySwoll0cks

Here is the thread I promised us.

Somewhere for us to help eachother, pick one another up, cry, scream, laugh..

Some of us may be looking to try again, some may be putting things on hold. Whatever our plans, lets get through this together.

(I don't know whether conception was the right choice of topic, I can always have this moved to a more suitable topic if anyone would like me to)

I will look through our threads again and see if I can @mention anyone else who might like to join us

Afternoon ladies, I have had a busy day walking my boys and visiting my Grandma. Yesterday we didn’t leave the house and nearly killed each other, so I was determined not to have another day like yesterday. Fortunately today was much better, boys definitely need exercising!

@Frazzle, what are you taking? Just scrolling back up to have a look... Methylfolate? What is that? I shall google it.... should I be taking it too? I am also wondering if I should be taking Inositol? (Might have spelt that one wrong).... and I still haven’t had time to think about the one @Rachyrach83 was/is taking, the name of which temporarily escapes me.

@Rachyrach83 I am so sorry about your Mum, that must be truly horrendous for you.

@Ratherbe Feel free to rant away, hopefully you will get a positive in the next couple of days! FX

@Tinsel I haven’t done any tests since my mc, I just assumed I would be able to tell that my body was going back to normal, which I could. I hate seeing bfn’s, and really couldn’t face that. I suspect if you have any retained tissue it will come out with your first AF, but it might be worth speaking to the EPU or your GP if you are concerned.

As for me, AF is in full force here and is completely normal. It’s not heavier and there have been no clots. So I guess that’s good in a funny kind of way. xxx

Rose
It’s melatonin 3mg

@TinselBee I am also breaking out in spots which I never do - I wonder why that happens?

@Rachyrach83 definitely looks BFN to me too. I felt shit when I saw mine as well, even though I knew it was necessary to be able to start seriously trying to TTC again.

Has anyone seen the site avawomen.com ? Think it is some kind of fertility device but seems to have useful articles on it.

Fell off horse last night- v good job am not pg! @ratherbeshowjumping what are your plans re: riding when pg? I cancelled my lessons when I found out (as started bleeding really quickly after BFP) so didn't want to take any risks but obviously tricky when you own to know what to do am guessing!

Hello again, sorry I've been a bit off the radar. You know how it goes those first few days after a loss. I was in hospital yesterday getting my D+C. Gynae Consultant seemed to think it went well and she agreed that I could try again pre-RM consult if I wanted as it seemed likely we've just been super unlucky. She also thought that progesterone cream and aspirin couldn't do any harm and might just help me along if I do catch.

So today I've ordered more OPK (just the cheapies), reset fertility friend and downloaded OvaGraph to try as well. Good to see I'm amongst charters :) I had never heard of it remotely before my first MC but have tried to share the knowledge since I started it. People think it's bonkers!

I did a pregnancy test too and got a really strong positive, but that's clearly less HCG as I tested last week and got the Hook Effect (where you have so much HCG it basically breaks the test and the result looks weak! To think I was so pleased with myself for getting that obliviously to the fact the baby was already gone)

Interesting to see there's a common going off coffee! I'm looking forward to getting the taste back!

Somebody stop me before I eat an entire wedge of Saint Agur... 😳

@Rose68 inositol is, as far as I am aware, for PCOS. It helps with the insulin issues thus aiding ovulation. I think it works as s natural version of Metformin but I use both.
I've no idea if it is a generally good supplement for TTC.

Here is some info about Methylfolate and the MTHFR gene. Someone mentioned to me that this gene can be activated in pregnancy so if you've had previous successful pregnancies then have series of MCs then it could be to blame. Might be worth you looking into? I am going to speak to our consultant in Feb about it
MTHFR: natural-fertility-info.com/mthfr-gene-folic-acid.html

Methylfolate: www.brainmdhealth.com/blog/folic-acid-vs-folate-everything-you-need-to-know/

Thank you Frazzle, tbh I am getting a bit confused about folic acid. I am taking 3 things with 400mg of folic acid each in already, would this be on top of that, or do I need to change my other supplements?

I have ordered melatonin today, the sleep sounds lovely. I think I was a bit scared of it before because I had read it could cause some depression.. which clearly is already a bit of an issue at the moment.

good morning all! Hope everyone slept well? DS had us up for a few hours in middle of the night.. blurgh.

My BFP is certainly fainter this morning, any fainter and it would be one of those "Is there a Line" posts lol! Might be 0 by the weekend FX

Also found this article about BBT Temping which may be interesting to read for those with rocky charts:
kindara.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/224930448-When-to-Mark-a-Temp-as-Questionable

Betty hope you enjoyed the cheese! Didnt give you any sleep issues did it?

Rose I get worried about ODing on vitamins etc, idk if you can but I do only take 1 set of each thing but as atm I am taking Pre-Conception pills I am just sticking to that. I am sure Frazzle or one of the other supplement gurus will enlighten us both though hopefully as I am interested in taking more next cycle.

Hello again awake nice to hear from you, and yes many of us are fellow chart obsessers haha! My family think its bonkers too but they never had issues with fertility so! What are pros and cons to using progesterone cream and aspirin btw?

smerlin glad I am not the only one! It is my neck and chest too which is so super odd. If I ever get acne its my face and back never my neck!!

Rose you are right, tbh I can tell I am getting less and less PG symptoms! Glad that AF is at least going okay and not heavier etc.

Frazzle thank you! I have signed up and so many good deals, might use the site for our anniversary holiday we are wanting to go on end of May

@rose
I don’t see how it can lead to depression.... my ANTI-depressants pre BFP was Agmelatone... a synthetic high dose version of melatonin.

The only warning I’ve ever heard is that high doses can delay ovulation..... but we are taking 20+mg, not 3mg!! My meds were 25mg and I still ovulated as normal and hot pregnant!
You do feel a little ‘groggy’ in the morning, it’s like having had a nytol tablet... but after a cup of tea and a shower I feel fine again xx

Really annoyed with DH, got man flu and refused to dtd last night - this morning temp has shot up so think I’ve missed my chance!! He’s at work now till 6pm so feel deflated :(

Morning all, hope you're well. I am feeling much better physically although still got slight bleeding i literally can't wait for that to stop! Emotionally though i feel a bit up and down now, yesterday was meant to be our dating scan and i planned on telling the world my news. Instead I had to go to the Gp to get a sicknote for the rest of this week and i honestly think she thought I was a looper. I started off so well but Dr's appointments make me nervous anyway and I said hello and then she asked what she could do for me and i broke out in un consolable sobs couldn't explain at all so I was rifling through my handbag trying to find the report from the Early Pregnancy Unit. Once she read that, she was lovely and then she even started with everyone's well meaning advice of "its common" "it will happen the next time e.tc" Anyway recovered from that then went to the garden centre to buy a plant to bury the sac and embryo in. That felt beyond morbid and i kept saying to OH i need something fail proof because it will top me over the edge if the plant dies as well. so literally took me ages to choose something but finally did and then went home and potted it. After all that was done just lay on the sofa watching films. It feels so odd not to be at work. I just have today and tommorow and then i am literally dreading the weekend and following week. I have so many celebrations with DH's family who are lovely but they arn't made like me. I come from a highly emotional family who hug and cry and take time to recover from such things, they are the complete opposite of pull yourself together, have some fresh air and carry on as normal. SO have to endure a meal out on Sunday then break the news to them we arn't going to the annual afternoon pub crawl round town on Christmas eve. Argh i just feel like all of this would have been easier if it wasn;t Christmas and i absolutely adore Christmas normally, i'm renowned for it, i'm the annoying one at work who starts getting excited in September and brings the glitter out for the children a month before everyone else. How are the rest of you feeling about surviving the holidays?

Morning!

@Rose68 I'm also a bit confused about what to take tbh. I have put a question out on the Miscarriage Association private group on FB asking if it is safe to take both folic acid and methylfolate together. I'm getting two lots of FA, one in Pregnacare and one in Feroglobin. I don't want to stop using those, but still want to take methylfolate.
Re Melatonin, I read that it isn't great for PCOS, which is why I've decided not to take it, but that may be the ovulation delay thing and like Rachy says, you'd have to take large doses of it. But I just don't want to take that risk given my already rocky ovaries!

@BettySwoll0cks I think that is the one thing I am looking forward to this xmas - CHEESE! I am avoiding it right now as back on the no dairy/reduced gluten/no sugar diet (though cheating by having some sneaky xmas choccies in the evening). But Xmas Day I am not dieting whatsoever, and I'll be like "Forget about xmas dinner just GIVE ME ALL CHEESE!"

Morning @TinselBee good news about the test, it's deffo going in the right direction, get BDing woman! Re the article, this is why I love Ovusense so much, you don't have to worry about the first three points as your temp is taken throughout the night. As long as you get 4 hours consistent sleep then you're fine.
Talking of charting, and singing Ovusense's praises, I'm not convinced it has predicted my ovulation correctly as my temps are a bit weak.. The cycle we conceived Popsy my temps were very definite and strong.
Still, we got on it last night to make sure. DP said "Come on then, I'm here for your appointment!" Which was kinda funny, but I felt a bit sad that he may think it was just for baby making, I really don't want him to feel like a sperm donor which he has brought up before in arguments (when we were not TTC) I'm really worried he will feel pressurised and pull the plug again.

You're welcome re Travelzoo - I love it. Booked many a trip through them. I'm sure there are others that are just as good but I like their UI and I've never had a bad experience.

@awakeatnight Lovely to have you back. How are you feeling this morning? I agree that there is no harm in taking aspirin (75mg) and progesterone (400mg) but I took it with Popsy and it didn't seem to work for me. But I will probably take it again in the next one. I'm told that if you have blood clotting issues that you may be put on a higher dose of aspirin. But you will find that out when you go to the RMC
Yay, another charter! I love looking at other charts and seeing all the changes throughout the cycle. I'll put mine up in a sec, you can all tell me if Ovusense has got my ovulation wrong..

Oh @Rachyrach83 noooo! Bloody DH You might be okay tonight - takes 24 hours I think? Do it anyway, tell DH the endorphins will help his manflu

Well I am at home until the boys go back to school - woohoo! No more commuting for at least two weeks! No more 5:30am alarms, I am still in my PJs it's GREAT!

Although randomly I've just realised today would have been our 12 weeks scan

Oh @ProseccoBee I missed your post. I am so sorry. I'm with you on the dating scan. I'm so pleased you got a plant to bury your little one. We have a flowering cherry tree in our garden for Emily, though she isn't buried there, she's in a cemetery in SW London (long story which I think I've already told). Nearly three years later and the tree is massive already! What plant did you get?

Don't feel bad about crying at the GPs, they are so used to it - I've lost count of the amount of times I've cried in front of my GP over our losses. I hope you have a good GP xx

@frazzlerock_oh your cherry tree sounds lovely! they're beautiful to look at. I chose a botanical fern, we're getting our garden landscaped next year so i needed something in a pot. I love the look of the leaves but i once read an article on the healing powers of ferns and how they feature heavily in medicine and folklore. Did some digging and ferns have been used for alternative medicines to help aid women's health and they are also used to symbolise "eternal younth, "hope for family", "new beginnings" and "bond of love" in some cultures" so thought all of those were very fitting!

Oh a fern is perfect then! I love that

Oh no @smerlin are you ok? How did it happen?
I was rather cautious really - I have a very sensible 6yo who was jumping 1.25s over the summer, I stepped him down and schooled him around a couple of 1m classes. Also have a very sensible 4yo (sensible enough for the very novicey DH to hack!!) who I did a bit of flatwork and hacking with - was planning to do a little bit of dressage with him over the winter just to get him out. And the Bambi on ice, gangly, 5yo, 17.3hh.... my best friends horse has unfortunately gone lame, so she's took him on (I told her straightaway) and she's continuing to ride him whilst we're ttc again.
Are you going to continue riding when pg next time or stop? I felt fine riding my sane, sensible horses who I've broken and produced myself, but wouldn't go out jumping anything silly or certainly wouldn't ride anything I didn't know.... saying that I don't know whether you saw the video Carl Hester put on Facebook this morning of his 11yo goddaughter schooling Valegro... I would perhaps let him be the exception there....

Hi @awake, glad you're still here. Didn't realise your D&C was yesterday. Sending love to you. You sound really positive and strong xx

@Betty I hope you did eat the entire wedge!! That's my absolute favourite

@Prosecco, that's a lovely thing to do. I hope it brings you some sort of comfort. Fingers crossed you can still enjoy parts of Christmas. The last few weeks have taken all the fun out of it for me, so understand where you're coming from.

@Frazzlerock so jealous that you're all done ready for Christmas now... wish I was still in my pjs!!

Ooooh I feel grumpy today
I’m fed up of my body not knowing what it’s doing :(
I’m Day 22 now, bleeding stopped over a week ago, BFN yesterday... My temp was up massively this morning (added my chart) and thought oooh this is it I’m ovulating! Did a opk and it was completely negative!!
DH is getting fed up of me ‘making it all about science’ (we fell pregnant quickly last time without any of this knowledge) and saying I’m ‘taking the magic out of it’ - who knew I was Debbie McGee??!!
I just want to have that happy feeling of being pregnant back.
Every time something suggests I’m getting back on track, something else poopoo’s it!
I think I was particularly patient for the first 2 weeks but day 22 now and I’m like ‘enough sis enough now!!’
Sorry for moaning, I’m just feeling sorry for myself!!

@Frazzle I was booked for my 12 week scan yesterday and it’s heartbreaking so I feel your pain there.

Here’s my chart and my laughable opk :(

@Rachyrach83 my very novice mind thinks you ovulated on day 20. Did you do an OPK then?

If you look at my pregnancy chart (first chart) you will see that, like yours, there is a dip then a high temp, then another dip before it rises again

The second is my chart this cycle, I am not sure I believe I am ovulating. The temps are fairly similar to my preg cycle but the curve is so weak in comparison....

🤔

Yes I’ve done opk everyday and everyday it’s been negative. (Apart from the day they arrived - around day 15 when I had a play and there was a slight line but hcg was still well over 150 so put it down to that!)
We DTD every other day minimum for last 10days but obvs hcg falling as per GP and hpk tests show not PG as monitoring levels down (not checking for new BFP yet, im not that crazy just yet!)
TMI but no CM at all at the mo either
I’m just fed up @frazzle!
I just hoped I would be one of the lucky ones who’s bodies clicked back in.

I'm not surprised you're fed up Rachy
I've never used those sticks as I was warned that the luteinising hormone is a bit unreliable with PCOS. You don't have that do you?
Keep going, you never know...
and tell DH to wind his neck in x

Rachy have you had a +OPK from those cheapies before? I never get a proper +OPK on the cheapies. I agree with Frazzle, you could have Ovd on CD20. the higher temps before were due to HCG levels still being high but that is such a classic Ov dip as Frazzle said (I always get that dip). But then again with no CM at all I doubt you could have Ovd... hmm... Keep charting and testing. Having spent many hours reading through old threads, it does seem that some women don't even Ov post MC and for others it can take even a week or two clear of HCG before they Ov!

Also bare in mind that it isn't just about waiting for HCG levels to go down, other factors play a part in whether you will Ov too, e.g. stress/anxiety

Basically our bodies are total mysteries and complete pains in the butt!

If I Ov by Sunday/Monday I could get a BFP for my birthday (NYD) and I just so the anxiety of that is probably gonna cause me to Ov later anyway... ffs.

Frazzle I know what you mean about sperm donors. Feels awful when it is all about DTD for a baby. I haven't really managed to find that balance yet. I suppose whacking out the ConceivePlus lube doesn't exactly scream this sex is just for the romance.

Oh @tinsel that made me laugh!! I actually hid the conceive lube and my DH found it the other day and was like ‘wtf is this?’ Ha ha!!
I see his point because of the ease in getting BFP last time but he doesn’t get that my body has had a MASSIVE trauma since then and so I think I’ve got to be sensible now and give it a helping hand

I said I feel like it’s a bit like this ‘new house’ analogy....
We werent looking to move house immediately but we were keeping an eye on the estate agents window.... we found a house we loved and our offer was accepted.... we started packing and put our house for sale.... then the sale on our dream house fell through. You don’t then go ‘oh well, we will stay here then!’ ... your head is somewhere else now... you want to move, you keep on actively scouring Rightmove everyday!!
That’s how I feel now about being PG! I can’t just switch it off!
I came off the pill in July and we said we would ‘see what happened’ and caught in October (there was very little DTD in Aug and Sept tho as had far too much on our plates with his crazy ex-wife and my mum). So he doesn’t see the need to track cycles and temps and OPKs as we never did before. I feel like I need to do what I can to a) know my body better and b) get back to where we were!

No I’ve never had ‘success’ with the opk before but never used them either...
I had the clearblue digital machine to start with next month which will hopefully be more accurate.
I think I’m just craving either clear OV or my AF just to get back on track and know where I am!!