Over 40 ttc - winter baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

Here's our new thread ladies.

Thank you everyone.

I took a CB this morning and was negative so will be expecting AF by the weekend.

Sending positive baby thoughts for everyone who needs it

@mellongoose my heart is breaking for you. Sending much love to you and wishing you happiness for the future

@Mellongoose another one here that is so so sad about your news, you are an amazingly strong and brave woman, your husband and little one too.

@Booseysmom, @Orchid222 @Cleozeta @RealitySucks

Thank you, yes definitive answer from clinic was that if my flow is normally quite light throught to count Sunday as day 1 and Monday as Day2 but if not first full flow day is CD1 which means DH will be injecting me in the morning (Tuesday)

@crittertammer hope you are well and everything is progressing well

Hi @Michele sorry about your MMC

So I've completely messed up this month as we didn't do anything over the weekend as we argued😩 then yesterday I ovulated and dh went away with work .. must try harder next month

So frustrating

Good luck to everyone

I haven't been on here for a few weeks and am just catching up with everything. @Mellongoose I am so so sorry. Words cannot express how sad I feel for you. My heart is breaking. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I'm not surprised that you are numb. Allowing yourself to let go of all that pain is truly terrifying. I think sometimes one's brain shuts off a little to protect us. It may be worth speaking to a counsellor - does the NHS offer any bereavement counselling? It's much healthier to let it out although I know I really struggled to.

@Cleo I think at our age that you can get one LH surge but it may not be enough to push the egg out so sometimes you can get a second surge. Equally sometimes the temp surge doesn't happen until a couple of days after ovulation. I think I read that on the ava website.

I have had a couple of really short cycles - 22 and 24 days (and I was using progesterone suppositories). I went to the doctor to ask to have my FSH levels tested - she did agree to the blood test but dismissed my concerns (and was actually quite rude) on the basis that I had 4 mc last year. Turns out my FSH was 20.1. My best option might be IVF with donor egg. I'm ready to draw a line and give up. I can focus on enjoying my little boy rather than being all consumed and utterly obsessed by what I don't have.

@mellongoose Another one in tears here. So, so sorry that you’re going through this but what a beautiful message you still sent to all of us. You’re one amazing woman. Take care of yourself xx

@Taxgirl1 are you sure that FSH is accurate? What cycle day did they do the blood test? x

Hmmm - I feel your pain. I’ve been there countless times and it’s so frustrating.

Taxgirl - if i were you I wouldn’t hang all of your fertility on one high fsh test. It is not necessarily a sign of your waning fertility. Mainstream doctors will say it is but lots of alternative doctors will say it’s just a sign something is out of balance. How are your cycles? How is your health? Oh and don’t forget fsh levels can vary hugely day to day, cycle to cycle.

@Letsdothis43 - I'm doing OK, thanks for asking. 16 + 2 today and bump is well and truly appearing now. I'm having some anxiety issues this week if I'm honest - after Mellongoose's very sad news over the weekend, my friend who was also carrying twins lost both of her babies in a horrific miscarriage on Sunday too. She was 19 weeks and only 36 years old. Its knocked my confidence and all my earlier anxieties have returned, which is why I was so grateful to Mellon for coming in here to reassure us that some things are just random, and not aged related. I've been so stressed out that we've booked a private gender reveal scan for a week on Saturday as 20 week anomaly scan isn't for another month. Hopefully all will be well and I'll be reassured for a short while at least - and we can start choosing names after it! I'm also struggling with a terrible cold and asthma at the monent - feel so ill and struggling to breathe so can't help worrying that it's doing some harm... I always thought that seeing those 2 lines was going to make me so happy and relaxed, but apparently that was just the start of the worrying....

Sorry for the negative post - think I'm just feeling really poorly and sorry for myself at the moment - I just wish I could take something proper for it - so sick of hot honey and lemon drinks and Vicks Vaporub (which makes me throw up if I'm not careful!) - would give anything for a few Day Nurse capsules lol.

Hope you guys are all doing OK, and good luck for your first injections today Letsdothis43 - they're nothing to worry about and you'll soon be caught up in the excitement and business of the cycle - I hope it all goes well for you. @Realitysucks - sounds like you'll be starting soon too - very exciting! Good luck for your scratch and I hope it doesn't hurt too much 😊

Lots of hugs @CritterTamer ❤️❤️ I don't think I relaxed with dd until I was about 25 weeks along...and then I started worrying again from 33-34 weeks 🙈 it's very natural and especially when you've heard sad news. Thinking lots of positive thoughts for your little bubs. I do hope you feel better soon - it'll pass and hopefully you'll have a lovely, healthy Spring with growing bump in tow! xx

Taxgirl - don't stress about the high FSH. Mine last January was 18.4, I was absolutely devestated and thought it was game over, but I started TCM accupuncture & herbs and git pregnant the next cycle. Sally miscarried at 10 weeks, but it reassured me that it's not over. I've started the TCM again since and last had my FSH checked about 3 months ago and it's gone down to 10.4
I'm not giving up yet.

Critter - I know it's easier said than done, but please try to relax. I do understand your worries with all these things happening around you, but in reality here is nothing to suggest things will go wrong with yours.
Hopefully your scan will reassure you x

Im so sorry Mellon, really heartbreaking. Thank you for taking the time to tell us. It must be so so hard. Sending you all my love.

Does anyone know anything about abstinence and sperm quality? We were only able to dtd 2 days before ovulation and on the day of ovulation this cycle but this was after at least 2 weeks of abstince since i was bleeding for 11 days after failed ivf and we didnt get close. I'm pretty sure that dtd on the day of ovulation was too late as it was late in the evening and i had the symptoms of LH peak early in the morning so I'm relying on the one we did 2 days before. But I've heard sperm quality isn't good if you are not at it regularly and am thinking of counting myself out for this month.

My ovulation took me by surprise since it was one day after spotting and i had no positive on CB digital, plus it was earlier than previous recent cycles. It's the first time the digi has ever missed it. Does anyone else use these? I'm thinking they might not be useful anymore for me and may try another brand -cheaper with the line colour shown.

So gutted that i think i missed the month. It seems so hard these days to get the timing right and dtd enough, and it is so precious :-((

Thanks Karry and Cleo - you are right. I think all the bad thoughts are creeping in easier because I'm feeling so poorly at the moment. Hopefully once this horrid cold lifts a bit my mood will lift with it 😊 scared myself a bit yesterday reading miscarriage rates at 40 + even up to 20 weeks are still over 10%. Need to focus on the fact that that means that 90% are fine! Looking forward to finding out the sexes on the 19th is the next milestone 😁

@Snowie3 - I think it's normal for LH surge and ovulation to be thrown out a bit for a cycle or 2 after IVF. In my first cycle after our failed IVF I ovulate 5 days later than normal and also went from low to peak fertility with no high days in between for the first first time ever. Its just the leftover IVF hormones still hanging around.

Whilst sperm quality is optimal if you did every 2 or 3 days (and definitely do this on the run up to his sperm sample for your next IVF cycle), it only takes 1 good one out of millions to do the job, and there are lots of examples on these boards of people getting BFPs after only dtd once or twice!

Snowie it's probably fine. I wouldn't worry about that too much. Plus you may have caught the egg 2nd time anyway. We only dtd 3 days before and day of this cycle too.
I know how you feel though, we don't have time to miss a cycle.

Hope you feel better soon critter.

@Critter all the signs have been very good for you right from the beginning, I don’t think you need to worry, but of course it’s completely normal for you to. Can you feel the babies move now? That can provide quite a lot of reassurance. The tww is nothing in comparison to the overwhelming anxiety I felt while I was pregnant.

@Snowie, I’m sure it’s fine, sperm definitely live for 2 days, and the day of ovulation is fine too, the egg lives for 12-24 hours I think, and some sperm can get to it in 30 mins (I think). I think it’s better not to have the long period of abstinence, but I’m sure its not a massive problem. Next time tell him to have a w**k 😁

Would I be silly to test? Have had 2 iui's but due to being out of the country for Christmas, I couldn't start immediately on iui#3 this cycle. According to FF, I ovulated on 30th after DTD on 24th, 26th and 29th Dec. I am so tired at the moment, hungry and have a sore achy boob. I would be 10dpo tmrw morning When I would test. Do you think I should or just count myself out this month?

@Rose68 - Next time tell him to have a w**k 😁

This - LOL!

No movements felt yet - from what I read 18- 22 weeks is the norm for this so not quite there yet!

@Presh12345 - don't count yourself out at 9 - 10 dpo! Sounds like you're in with a shot this month so maybe wait a couple of days then test 😊

Haha, brilliant Rose you are so right!! I'm secretly hoping that he might have just done that!!

This whole thing is such a nightmare. I freaked out about it with my husband this morning at 5am since i couldn't sleep and he was up early. Took him completely by surprise. You'd think just dtd during the month would be an easy thing right?!

Critter, i didn't feel movements until well into the 20 weeks mark. I think mine was even longer because i had an anterior placenta. Try to just focus on all the good things and the time will go. Everything looks great up until now!!

Certainly don't count yourself out yet Presh!!

Ive also been wondering what effect DHEA might be having on the opks. Could this influence it do you think? The past few months while ive been tracking i didn't have high fertility, it just went straight to peak. Which makes it all so difficult to time!!