TTC FIRST BABY THREAD NO.7

[Delilah7]

Another thread ladies ❤️

@flapjackered yay! I’m so happy for you, you must be so relieved! Get on that nookie November x

@BabySquid welcome back to the mad house lovely! We have missed you! 😘

Thanks @Crossfitgirl @sunshine1987 @Delilah7 feeling very relieved! It's given me a much needed energy boost this cycle! 🐎

@Crossfitgirl are you in your new house now? If so I hope the move went ok. My sister just moved into her new future family home and I found it amazing taking the tour thinking of all the future memories and children running around!
Good luck with the results - will keep my fingers crossed they are all ok. Let us know how you get on.

@FlapJackered we are here for you and care dearly darling xxxx

Still moving so fast here, looks like I've missed lots of good news, congrats ladies!!! Wishing you all the best

In need of a wee rant, in a grump with OH, and arguing with myself about if I'm overreacting...
Today is my birthday, last night he gave me a card which he openly told me he picked up at a service station on his way home. And a bunch if flowers from asda also on the way home! We had planned to go out at the weekend and he has totally forgotten! I thought I'd try and get amorous with him.by sneaking into the shower before him.... but he just stood outside and waited, and then he tried it on when he got in bed 3 hours later. And asked what was wrong with me when I said I wasn't in the mood and that the moment was gone.

Can't help feel that I'm over reacting or being selfish or something. But then I think of the fuss I make for his birthdays, am I expecting too much?

@FlapJackered that's good news, on to the BD-ing!

@Rachael321 sorry to hear that, sometimes men don't seem to quite think when it comes to birthdays in the same way we do - two of my friends had similar things with their husbands over the summer and got upset. You're not being selfish. I think there is some truth to the 'men are from mars, women from venus' thing - we do think differently! Might have to sit down and explain it to him - he may genuinely not understand! At least he did remember and yes he may not have given it as much though as he should have, he did still stop off at two places to get you a card and some flowers - so he was thinking of you, at least.

Try and be positive, and don't let it get you down. Enjoy your birthday (happy birthday btw!) - and if he doesn't want to go out on the weekend/has forgotten, then see if some friends or family fancy going out for a nice meal instead.

@Rachael321 I don't think you're overreacting at all, I'd be really upset if I got a generic service station card and supermarket flowers for my birthday! It's not the money (DH and I usually pick really low maximum spends), but the total lack of thought and any effort. Sorry you're birthday got off to a rubbish start, and I hope you can salvage it

(Those aren't from the supermarket btw )

As for the shower mishap, he might not have known you were waiting for him. I've realised over the years it's better to just spell it out sometimes!

*your

@babysquid welcome back! You know essays are the best 😁😁😁
@flapjackered meant to be moving this Friday but we still haven't exchanged contracts so it's gonna be next Friday now. Hopefully! I'm excited about a family home but hope it doesn't take too long to fill it with a family.

@rachael321 men just don't think like us do they? Mine always leaves bday stuff to the last minute! I've learnt that expecting always leads to disappointment, so don't expect. Men don't take hints... i have to literally spell it out for mine eg if I want sex, I literally have to tell him so if I'm getting in the shower I'll say come and join me I'm horny. Literally have to spell it out like that!! I also tell him if i want a date night or if i expect flowers for something I'll say, hope you're going to get me a pressie tonight to let me know how proud you are of me for getting my new job etc.

Ladies please tell me it's not just me that has to do this? I did used to get so annoyed that my DH isn't always thoughtful etc, but he is, but just doesn't think like I do to act on it - and he's always more than happy to do stuff when I ask- and that keeps me happy, win win! Haha. Let them know exactly what you expect that way they can't go far wrong.

Hope that's helpful? Men are pretty useless without us, but if you let him know what you want I'm sure he would be more than happy! Xxx

Also happy birthday @Rachael321!!

@crossfitgirl I definitely have learnt to be more blunt and communicative, rather than expected DH to read my mind. That said, if I've communicated something in the past e.g. "It's important to me that we do something nice on my birthday", then I don't expect to have to repeatedly remind him. We're both adults.

On that note, have you guys ever heard of emotional labour? It's the idea that a lot of the work that goes into maintaining relationships is done, often thanklessly, by women. It's a fascinating concept - good primer on it here if you're interested: www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/

Going through a scared stage at the moment... help me ladies😂

Thanks @eltzbee @purplefig @crossfitgirl
I don't feel as bad now knowing that others can see my point. Just a bit annoying, his birthday was the week after I had mc in August and I still managed to make a fuss over him. I know I'm lucky as he couldve forgotten all together, but that's essentially what he's done by forgetting about going out on Saturday because that was his idea!!
I guess it's all just got on top of me this week with the nonsense at work(latest I've heard is that if I'm not back by Wednesday ie today, then I'm sacked!), and mum just out of hospital yesterday.
But hey no, life goes on! Been to the shop and bought myself a cake, how sad, and am now in my pjs on the sofa watching catch up tv and eating cake! Prosecco in fridge calling my name but it's a bit early for that!

@Rachael321 really sorry to hear you're clearly having a rough time and that your partner hasn't made more of an effort. Perhaps when you've had some time to mull it over, and distance yourself from the initial disappointment, it might be worth sitting down and having an honest conversation with him?

FWIW I don't think it's remotely unreasonable of you to have expected more effort simply because it's your birthday, but particularly given what you're currently going through.

7 minutes to midday...definitely acceptable Prosecco time! Speaking of which - I must do some work!

Omg @Crossfitgirl not long until you move in now!!!

Happy birthday @Rachael321 ❤️

@purplefig sounds interesting, I'm gonna give that a read x

@Delilah7 giiiiiiirl what are you thinking? Xx

I've just had my interview for the promotion - sweated like a bloody pig, want to go home and sleep and then pounce on DH when he comes home 😂😂😂😂😂

@cupcakesandglitter hope it went well - and that sounds like QUITE the plan to celebrate . If you do read it, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.

@cupcakesandglitter did you smash it?! 😍😍
I've had a few cramps and am obviously worrying about it. But nothing constant. Bad back and all sorts. Booked the early scan for next week so hopefully my nerves can just hold out till then x x

@FlapJackered great news! What CD are you?

@Rachael321 @purplefig @Crossfitgirl one of the men I dated in the past had told me this - men take words as they are and they don't read minds. So if you want something, you have to voice your precise vision to them. Hinting and hoping they figure it out doesn't always work. In his world, your DH won't be out of line saying that he didn't realize you wanted a special birthday, or you wanted him to get into the shower with you instead of waiting simply because you didn't say anything. Many men won't admit this, but this is largely how their minds work. So don't think he somehow doesn't care, he just didn't know what you had in mind.

@Delilah7 you can do this!

@KatBeCool I'm trying. Struggling abit!

@cupcakesandglitter ooh fingers crossed for the job!

Well I feel like i want to cry right now. I rang for my day 21 blood test result and it's low. Thr number was 19. Not sure what that means but both my day 3 and day 21 blood tests were abnormal :-(
DH sperm sample was totally normal. I know that's a positive thing but I feel so shit that it's just me with the problem!

I have to wait until 31st Dec for fertility clinic, I'm hoping they can reassure me. I'm clutching at straws in that I think I only ovulated 2 days before the test and maybe it's a false low reading for that point in my cycle. But actually it could mean I'm not even ovulating 😫

@Crossfitgirl oh I'm exactly the same with my DH, they aren't phsycic and they do think differently to us.
Some times they do need it spelling out to them. I've learnt that my DH doesn't get hints. But he can be sweet - I was feeling lousy last week with AF and he came home from work, and said lets go get a cheeky takeaway for some ultimate comfort food. Made me smile :)

@crossfitgirl sorry to hear that. Do you have a standard 28 day cycle? Because if not, could it have been the incorrect day? Just going by a couple of other threads e.g. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1123140-21-day-progesterone-test-question-help

@Crossfitgirl sorry to hear about your test results; what are they testing for, some hormonal change? Keep positive.

@Crossfitgirl I am so sorry it has come back as abnormal. what test did you score 19 for?
I would get another test done as it would definitely affect it if you had only just ovulated. I would ask for it to be re-done and then move the test if necessary to make sure it is exactly 7 days before af.

@Delilah7 😘😘

@KatBeCool thanks lovely. only on cd9 so another week and a bit to go before fertile week.

@Crossfitgirl I'm sorry darling. We are here if you wanna vent xxx