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Original poster

Sad after chemical

154 replies

Holly5633 · 01/10/2018 08:31

I have just had a chemical at 5+1 after some sting BFPs and a 2-3 on a digi. Feeling quite sad but I know it’s just one of those things. I feel sad about having to start all over again. Does anyone know how wonky this will make my cycle in terms of ovulation? I am hoping as it is early on I might return to normal quite quickly x

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Lunaenzo · 01/10/2018 14:55

Hi,

I also had a chemical pregnancy last week (although id never heard of one before)
I also feel very sad, at first i questioned if i was over-reacting and being over-sensitive but we were so excited to see 6 positive pregnancy tests and it broke my heart to have that taken away.

I have done quite alot of research since and there is not much advice for Chemicals, we have decided to try again straight away and just see how things work out regarding ovulating and periods. I wasn't sure how it would work but from what i've read i think things do return return to normal quite quickly, I did read that you can ovulate and get pregnancy within 2 weeks of a chemical pregnancy but i'm not sure how accurate that is. I guess it all depends on how you feel in yourself in regards to when you try again.

Hope you feel better soon and i'm sorry this happened to you x

LunaLG · 01/10/2018 16:25

I'm in exactly the same boat. So sad. First day of bleeding and have been sitting quietly at work all day. Never felt more alone. I'm a freelancer so don't even have any colleagues to confide in so very odd and lonely experience. Does anyone know how long roughly to expect the bleeding to last. I'm only 4+3 weeks.

Thanks

rachyrach300 · 01/10/2018 16:27

Hello! I had a chemical on the 3rd of sept. It took 2 weeks to get a neg test! I haven’t done any ovulation test just been dTd in the hope I get pregnant if not hopefully next month will work. I THINK I will come on my period or BFP next Monday to thurs? Not sure tho! I really hope you all get pregnant again fast. It’s so sad when u get the BFP you were after and then taken away! Hope your both doing ok xxx

rachyrach300 · 01/10/2018 16:28

@lunaLG I bled on and off (mainly on) for 2 weeks then finally got a neg! Hope your will be over fast so you can continue with ttc xxx

LunaLG · 01/10/2018 16:32

Thanks @rachyrach300 good to know. Looking forward to starting again x

rachyrach300 · 01/10/2018 16:35

I would keep doing pregnancy test until its neg as I feel you will have a slightly better understanding of when u might have a period. I’m testing next week! X

Original poster
Holly5633 · 01/10/2018 17:25

Thanks everyone for your replies. Sorry we have all been through this. I will follow your advice and keep testing until is negative. Was anyone else shocked by the amount of clotting you lost? The cramps have been bad for 24hours now. I would have expected it to be less than this as it was so early

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LunaLG · 01/10/2018 17:30

@Holly5633 yes so much! To the point where I was panicking about being in an office and passing out in the loo. Hoping it gets lighter and not heavier tomorrow but who knows x

mrsof20118 · 01/10/2018 19:11

I may be in the same boat. Thinking of you all.
Was it the amount of bleeding to be sure it was?
I bled Saturday and a small amount yesterday and this morning but stopped since. It’s too early for a scan for me at 4+6 so have to wait a week and retest. Longest week ever xx

Original poster
Holly5633 · 01/10/2018 19:25

Fingers crossed for you. They do say a bit of bleeding can be quite normal. For me I have had large clots and very painful cramps and my digital went to ‘not pregnant’ - good plan to test again in the week x

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Lisalou88 · 01/10/2018 20:05

Hi I had a chemical a few months ago & I think everyone is different in terms of how it messes up your cycle. I had a MMC at 12 weeks just a few month before the chemical and so my cycles were already wonky from that but I found ovulation was delayed by around 3 weeks so I has a really long cycle. You have every right to feel sad, I really struggled after mine with it being my second loss xx

Lunaenzo · 02/10/2018 10:08

@LunaLG @Holly5633 ..... Mine started off as spotting and then all of a sudden the bleeding and pains were very bad, to the point it hurt to walk (i was 5+6). I do think everyone is different as mine was like this for a few days then stopped and started until yesterday which would of been just over a week.

I agree that its ok to be sad, at first i thought i was being silly as it was so early but my partner reassured me. I still keep having a little cry and he has been amazing, hope you all have someone to turn too and all get your happy endings. xxxx

LunaLG · 02/10/2018 13:15

Thank you @Lunaenzo - think it's really hit me today. Yesterday I was being really pragmatic but now feeling the loss. I'm encouraged by stories that people go on to have healthy pregnancies afterwards and some conceive quite quickly after a chemical too. X

mrsof20118 · 02/10/2018 19:43

Me too @LunaLG

Weirdly with me i haven't had pain. Mild cramps on Saturday and now just the odd bit of blood when I get up.

Had a bit of red spotting this evening and gone back to a tiny bit of brown blood now. Have an appointment at the early pregnancy unit tomorrow lunch but may try a test in the morning so not to waste their time if it is negative x

Teachermummy83 · 02/10/2018 21:06

Hi Ladies, I had this last week too at 5-6 weeks so know just how awful it is for everyone. Id has lots of symptoms and felt so different I just knew I was pregnant - we got our BFP when I was 6 days late and were over the moon. We then had 4 negatives, including one by my practise nurse. I’d had very weird, light bleeding from 2 days before the positive and after a week that became super heavy - worst period of my life - no pain but ridiculously heavy. We’re devastated but I feel I can’t tell anyone other than my other half, as it wasn’t a real pregnancy yet. Family have been commenting on how flat and quiet I am, which is just how I feel 😢
I’m hearing folk often conceive straight after a chemical, so trying to take something positive from that. This is such a tough game girls! xxx

mrsof20118 · 02/10/2018 21:58

@Teachermummy83 must have been so upsetting. It is so tough and like you say it's so early on you can't really talk about it to people.
Wishing us all Some positive news. Xxx

mrsof20118 · 02/10/2018 22:00

@Holly5633 @lunalg how are you getting on now, hoping it has settled for you a bit.
How many days after the bleeding started did you get a negative?
I plan to test again tomorrow with a digital

2ducks2ducklings · 02/10/2018 22:10

I had a chemical last January, the 28th to be exact. I counted the first day of my period as the 28th January and it lasted as long as my normal periods did, if a bit heavier than usual.
I conceived straight after this period and the result is asleep right now and we're looking forward to celebrating his first birthday soon.
It's a bleak and heartbreaking thing to have your hopes raised so high for your body to let you down so massively. But I believe I read somewhere that a chemical pregnancy does not increase the risk of having another one.

Teachermummy83 · 02/10/2018 22:12

Just re-reading this....
Yes @Holly5633, the bleeding was super-heavy and we had loads of big fibrosis clots - I could hardly believe it was so much at such an early stage. 😢
@Mrsof20118, I’m genuinely crossing everything for you.
Reassured I’m not alone (sorry if that sounds selfish😳) and also relieved to hear stories of lots of folk going on to conceive not too long after without too many additional complications. Fingers crossed for us all ladies xx

LunaLG · 03/10/2018 06:38

@Teachermummy83 That flat feelings is a good way to describe it. Sorry you're going through that too

@mrsof20118 This will be my 3rd day of bleeding. Yesterday was quite heavy but sure it will start to lighten as the week wears on.

@2ducks2ducklings Really helpful thanks. I think I'll do that too re: dates. So reassuring you had a healthy pregnancy afterwards. I'm very hopeful.

It's just one of those things and I've told a few people - most of whom I now know have also gone through the same thing.

mrsof20118 · 03/10/2018 06:45

Let's hope we all get our positives soon. I took a test this morning and it was negative. I think I've been in limbo so much for the past few days I actually feel ok with seeing it as I'm not driving myself crazy not knowing now and can concentrate on moving forward now.

Ceara · 03/10/2018 07:09

I had a chemical pregnancy after IVF. Physically things return to normal quite quickly. I had my next period 4-5 weeks after the loss started, and got pregnant the following cycle (though with a frostie, not naturally, so maybe not quite the same - however, the fact the clinic was happy for people to jump straight back into treatment after a chemical speaks for itself).

I'm sorry you're going through this. Of course you are allowed to be sad, and to grieve the loss. And also to talk to those close to you IF you want to. The convention to wait until 12 weeks to tell others about a pregnancy is mostly about protecting people who don't/won't want to talk about a loss - not to shut down conversations family or a close friend if talking about it would be supportive. If you tell someone, you do have to be prepared they will say something well-intentioned but unhelpful. However, sadly more people than you might expect (because it's so often not spoken of) will absolutely get it, because they too have been there.

Mummytoboyxx · 03/10/2018 07:11

Hi ladies. So sorry to hear you’re all going through this. I had a chemical in April and it took 4 weeks to get a negative. Tbh it took a couple of months to get my cycles back on track but I’m now 7 weeks pregnant. I have an early scan this weekend check all is ok but wanted to share a positive story with you. Sending hugs xx

Original poster
Holly5633 · 03/10/2018 17:02

Thanks everyone for all your responses - so many of us sharing the same experience. I’m feeling better thank you - the bleeding has calmed down and I’ve started OPKs to make sure I don’t miss an early ovulation! I had a migraine the day before I started bleeding and have a headache ever since. The doctor took some bloods today and is checking my thyroid just in case. Mainly just want the headache to go away now but emotionally I’m feeling better. Hope some of you are starting to feel better too and so please for those with recent sticky BFPs x

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mrsof20118 · 04/10/2018 18:14

@Holly5633 do you think you'll start trying soon again? I'm not going to wait around as much as it scares me for it to happen again. I guess I count my first bleed as cycle day 1 so on cycle day 7 now x