TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

@hayleyfx thank so much for replying. I was hoping it would be that but I have never had it before and since the MC you just don't have a clue what anything means really. I've been looking into it an it does seem more common with women after they've had a MC. Glad to hear everything is going well for you 💕

Thank you @hayleyfx 🤞🏼 x

Sounds like lots of people are struggling now. Christmas can be so tough.

We went christmas shopping for my baby godson and popped into mothercare, thinking we could deal with it. We could not deal with it! I burst into tears at the sight of a christmas babygrow and I found dh staring vacantly at tiny father christmas outfits.

I got an appointment for a scan at 8.5wks followed by an appointment with the rmc consultant. I'm assuming this is to discharge me as I couldn't do the requested bloods at cd21? Or to discuss my borderline clotting factors? I feel quite worried about it. I was looking forward to the first 'normal' scan but now I'm dreading it.

Laney79 good luck with your appointment

Lilimum Epu can be such an awful place! Everything crossed things go smoothly and you can start your recovery.

Morning Ladies, hope everyone is feeling a little better today.

Trying to spread some form of positivity as I think we need it in our little group right now as @SerenaOverjoyed has said. So sorry that Christmas is making people feel so low but lets just try and think that a new year brings a fresh start and hopefully some happiness.

My little positivity today is that I think I had my ovulation pain and bleed yesterday so counting that as OD. I am officially 1DPO for the first time since my MC. This is one more step forward for me and I hope more of you can have that little step soon too...💕

@DayDreamer1707 yeah MC really messes with your body and usual cycles. Great that you’re now in the TWW and hoping you get good news this month 🤞 if not then I’m glad your body is getting back on track! & thank you hun x

@SerenaOverjoyed good luck for your appointment. Hope everything goes well for you. I’ve got a scan hopefully next week and I’m terrified. Fingers crossed for lots of good news x

@hayleyfx thank you, I'm just hoping that this will be like my old cycles so I have more of an idea what is going on in future. Anything else would obviously be a massive bonus but you never know I suppose. I am sure everything will go fine with your scan but totally get why you are worried x

Hello ladies
I believe that all went well yesterday. I'm feeling confident that I have finally finished and completed my mc. Tmi alert I passed huge (size of the palm of my hand) clots and lots of blood from 7.30pm until 3am. If there is anything left I will throw a proper wobbler. I feel very warn out today but I'm hoping to get back on track now.

@Lilimum5 I am so pleased the procedure went well, I have been thinking of you. You must be exhausted, be kind to yourself and you'll be back on track before you know it

@Laney79 how did the RMC appointment go?

@strawberrye thank you hun how are you getting on?
@Laney79 how did your appointment go?
@DayDreamer1707 fingers crossed for your tww
@hayleyfx and @SerenaOverjoyed good luck with your scans
@ratherbeshowjumping sorry you find your self here but welcome
Hello and baby dust to everyone I haven't mentioned xx

@Lilimum5 thank you and thinking of you and hope you are feeling a little better soon. It's an awful thing to go through but at least now like you have said you can begin to try and move forward. All here for you x

@Lilimum5 bleeding is getting much lighter and no cramps now so physically feeling better. Saw my GP today who agreed to refer me on to RMC, and on the whole was lovely, but did (gently) suggest that because my losses have all been quite early that maybe nothing is wrong and that many women might be going through the same and not realising it because they don't test. Felt like banging my head against the wall. Whilst I feel there is some truth to this sentiment, I never test before AF is late, and if historically all these women were having recurrent early losses then they still conceived and had a healthy pregnancy eventually. Whereas we have been trying for 14 months and still nothing, so whether you want to call it early miscarriages or call it infertility (if pregnancies historically wouldn't have been picked up) - something feels like it is wrong!

@strawberrye I think you are right stick to your guns and demand they listen to you. Good news that you are feeling better hun.

Thanks for asking lovely ladies. Just got back.

All results negative-he couldn't get some of the thrombophilia screen through the lab as I don't hit the criteria but the big two, anti cardiolipin and lupus both negative so very unlikely I'd need heparin. In terms of the other clotting things he couldn't test for he said to take baby aspirin from BFP as that should counteract any of the less serious clotting issues that would've been shown on those tests.

I asked about anything I can do to help egg quality etc and he said no-just the same as I am.

Was at pains to say chances are the next pregnancy would be fine, much more likely to have a successful pregnancy than an unsuccessful one etc etc.

I asked what would happen if I did have a third miscarriage and he said genetic tests on me and the "products" and then a referal to prof Quenby in Coventry.

He was lovely and I wish I could say I feel more hopeful-but honestly feel like I'm waiting to get pregnant so I can miscarry again to get answers. How awful is that. Perhaps I'll feel more hopeful later. Just not now. X

@Laney79 I'm glad for your negative tests but I feel for you having no answers.
As to the third pregnancy think I feel the same and then feel guilt for feeling that way. I think it's understandable in cases of multiple losses with no reasons. Its so hard to imagine that the next pg will be a good one.
Everyone bangs on about how your more likely to have a successful pg than not but in my case it simply is not true. It unfortunately makes the excitement of a pregnancy go

I’m not technically TTC yet but likely will start after Christmas so hoping you guys don’t mind if I join and hang around/get to know everyone beforehand?

We had a severe fetal abnormality diagnosed at our 20 week scan at the beginning of October followed by a TFMR (termination for medical reason). He was our DC3, we have two lovely girls already.

Advised to wait three months and ensure all my blood results are good before TTC which should hopefully all be confirmed in January.

It’s been a really sad time and I think being pregnant again 🤞🏼 will be really tough so feeling a bit daunted by the whole thing! I feel like after spending the last couple of months reading the whole internet I now know about everything that can possibly go wrong whereas before I was in blissful ignorance and just assumed everything would be fine.

Christmas is really hard... @SerenaOverjoyed I'm struggling with the same sort of things. After the past few weeks spent looking at baby related stuff, all the ads on my Facebook/instagram are baby/Christmas stuff & I genuinely can't deal with it.
I know I'm extra sensitive as working away from home this week & all I want is my DH but really struggling with it all.
On a more positive note, how long did you all find yourself ovulating after your miscarriage or have you all waited for your 1st period?

@MakeLemonade I'm so sorry that's happened to you, that's awful x

@ratherbeshowjumping this will be my first proper cycle since my mmc on the 15th October. I don’t know if I ovulated the cycle right after as I never knew before. I used the one step ovulation strips to help me figure out this cycle, currently 1DPO. So this cycle began on 14th of November and I ovulated around CD13 so not too bad really.

@MakeLemonade I’m so sorry to hear what you have gone through, I couldn’t begin to imagine how you just of felt. This is a great supportive group. Once you are able to try again everyone is always here and happy to help x

@DayDreamer1707 that's really quick, I usually have a 24 day cycle & ovulate around CD11, I think, so hopefully won't be waiting too long. Was expecting people to reply with a good 5/6/7 weeks, out of sync cycles. Fingers crossed.
I genuinely cannot put into words how much I am craving to be pregnant again.

@ratherbeshowjumping I suppose it is, I wouldn’t of know if I’d of ovulated if I didn’t use the ovulation test because I’ve never really taken notice of my ovulation symptoms or anything before. We had the approach of it if happens it happens the first time. Where as now after the MC we know we want a baby more than anything. At first I didn’t want to wait for my first AF but I do think it’s better in the sense that any tests symptoms or whatever I may get I know it’s down to the new cycle, not the MC if that makes sense. Was awful seeing the BFN test and the arrival of AF but it also meant we could move forward. I can’t wait to be pregnant again either ☺️ x

@lilimum5 really glad yesterday went well. Hope you can rest and you can heal quickly xx

@ratherbeshowjumping really sorry to see you here. Hope you recover quickly emotionally and physically and are able to focus on trying again x

@daydreamer1707 hopeful for tww! Either way you’ve done good tracking your cycle so keep looking for healthy cycle symptoms... a second estrogen surge post ov can produce more mucus again and if you do get af pay attention to what it is like, certain pain, whether af is clotty of flowy etc it will all help you get to know your body better and small changes you can make to improve your cycle quality.

@serenaoverjoyed and @haleyfx glad you are getting early scans booked in. So far so good xx

I collected my heparin testerday, or at least 2 months worth. Boxes of individually prepared injections ready to go. I’m going to gp tomo for flu jab (serena and Hayley get yours too) and to be shown what to do so will starting administering on Thursday morning. Fingers crossed it’s straightforward. Consultant has also booked in first scan for Monday, I’ll be 6w2d so hoping to see a heartbeat but it is early.

It’s weird, considering the journey to get here, this feels like the first pregnancy I’ve ever actually believed in. Like I’m not kidding myself with the risks or over confident but I feel ‘connected’ and balanced. I think the acupuncture and yoga has had a lot to do with it and would highly recommend. I’m going to carry on with both.

@straweberrye how are you feeling Hun? X

Sorry my feed has only just updated properly. Glad you were negative @Laney79 it is better in the long run for you. I really hope you don’t have a third. Statistically he’s right but it’s not helpful when you ‘are’ in the 1% that’s has 3 or more mcs. Hopeful for you xx

@straweberryr glad you are feeling better and have some traction at least for the future.

@makelemonade sorry to read your story, how awful. Time is a great healer and you will feel ready again. You’re right it’s a different perspective when you realise how fragile pregnancy is. We don’t get taught about the bad parts. I can recommend Dr Lesley Reagan’s book ‘miscarriage: what every woman needs to know’ she runs the specialist clinic at st Mary’s in London and has pioneered the trials and tests for everything that is known today. It’s an informative and useful read xx

@DayDreamer1707 this is the thing - I'm keen to just dtd as much as possible, I really don't want to have to go through another period, I think in my current mental state, another sign that I'm not pregnant will just be a huge kick in the teeth.
I'm aware that we were really lucky that it happened so fast last time, I just hope we experience the same luck this time.
I can't imagine seeing a BFN, the midwife advised me to test a week after I stop bleeding 😢 I just find the "moving on process" really tough.

@Yukka thank you. I'm glad it sounds like you are a lot more settled this time around. Sorry if you've mentioned this upthread, but how has the acupuncture helped? I've always been quietly cautious of things like that but am willing to try anything that may help and also give me some peace of mind that I'm doing something to help that may work! 🙈

@Yukka, thank you I will keep on top of tracking, kind makes me feel like I have some control 🙂 do you think it's best to continue testing with the OPKs throughout this cycle? I am hoping for this cycle to go well and be back on track.

@ratherbeshowjumping I was too and we did technically try but I didn't test on OPKs or anything so don't really know if I ovulated at all. I didn't want to use any test either because I know you can get a lot of false positives with all the hormones left in your body, which can make you drive yourself even more crazy. I was secretly praying not to see the negative but when I did and then got AF it can gave me the kick up the ass to be like 'right I know what I want now'. But it kinda gave me something new to focus on too. I know it's so hard but don't put too much pressure on yourself, DTD wants the bleeding has stopped but also be prepared for AF but try and see it as a fresh start x

Hi everyone, sorry it's me with a question again (sorry feel like I'm asking lots of questions and not giving much advice so far!)

I mentioned last week that when dh and I had sex for the first time after my Mva surgery for missed miscarriage (just over 2 weeks after) it caused pinky red discharge the day after.

Well last night we had sex for the second time and it was fine, but I was woken up in the night by terrible cramps, like did done 2,000 sit-ups and my muscles had spasmed! It was awful, I really struggled to move but when I got into my side the pain eased and I went back to sleep.

I feel okay today though. Since the miscarriage I have been having mild to moderate pain (I think in my cervix but hard to tell) when I really need to wee or poo/fart, and occasionally general twinges at random times (sometimes when I lie on my side in bed).

Does this all sound normal? Or should I go to the gp? I wondered whether my cervix is just sensitive still?

I've been doing opks (though just internet cheapies) since I stopped bleeding and I don't think I've ovulated.