TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

@TinyPaws fingers crossed 🤞 that this works for you. Sending you baby dust and sticky stuff. Please let us know how you get on x

Hi ladies, hope it's ok for me to join?

I'm 37
One early mc at 5:1
Ttc our first for 5 months in total (got preg cycle 2)
3 months after mc nothing (just got another BFN this morning at 13DPO).

Feeling sick that I won't ever get preg again or have a baby.

@srawberryr really sorry to see your update. Is that 3 for you now? Have you made an appointment with the GP? Try your best to keep focussing forward on all the things you can still do to have your baby. And I know it’s shit but if it’s going to happen, better it happens early your body will recover much quicker and you’ll be cycle ready again soon. You have s good track record it’s only a matter of time I’m sure.

@hayleyfx yaay! Formal congratulations! Really good nee for you and nice out dates are so close together :)

APS update... consultant phoned, they will scan after 6w for heartbeat and he will reassess the detail of the bloods to decide when heparin will start. He said the aspirin is the most important one now to maintain the uterus lining and healthy placental growth. Strictly no excercise not even yoga, nothing that stretches or adds pressure to my lower abdomen. Rest as much as I can. He asled about work he knows I have a high pressured job, told me to be selfish with my time.....

Feeling ok. Few tummy pains but I’ve learnt the difference between good and bad and these seem good. Staying hopeful and calm. Just arrived at my sisters last night for the weekend who is due in two weeks, it’s ironic that we started out pregnant together in March and remain pregnant together in November. So glad she didn’t have to go through what we have xxx

@DayDreamer1707 @Lilimum5 @HSapr @TinyPaws @Yukka thanks everyone. I'm feeling physically and emotionally broken.

@Yukka yes its my third, all before 6 weeks. Which makes me really worried because if like you I have APS (already have one borderline positive test for it), I took aspirin this pregnancy and it had no effect. I'm terrified I'll never get to that scan after 6 weeks to see a heartbeat and therefore never get the chance to start heparin. Just waiting for 8am for GP to open, although the one I have been seeing about this doesn't work on a Friday so I will try and get an appointment with her early next week.

@TinyPaws thinking of you, due dates are hard, and I can't imagine how you must be feeling with all the added stress of IVF as well. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

@Pickingflowers sorry for your losses and hoping this group will help keep you positive 😘

@strawberrye I do hope you get seen and there is something they can do to help you, I've only had one MC and that was enough, my heart aches for you x

@Yukka glad everything seems to be going good for you, like some positive news on a Friday morning!!

CD10 and praying to start see some difference on my OPKs in the next couple of days! Everything still seems to be all over the place x

strawberrye I'm so sorry x
It's really shit. It might be worth thinking about RMC when you're ready. Until then there's alot of tv to watch and chocolate eat.

Yukka that's fab news. Thanks for sharing about the APS management. I feel like I'm stealing healthcare advice!! ..was anything said about sex?

Laney79 Ah! Unexpected bfns are horrid. I understand why you feel you can't take a break. Maybe this is your body taking a little rest for a cycle? Sorry if that sounds mindlessly twee

haleyfx hooray for a decent doctor! You must feel vindicated.

HSapr I would say think carefully before sharing. It's good to have support but it is announcing that you're ttc. I have found certain family a bit upsetting as you can tell they're desperate for good news but not so keen on the bad stuff. Even my grandmother who had 4 miscarriages is a bit of a pain in the arse...! But maybe your family will have better form than mine.

TinyPaws Everything crossed for you.

Lilimum thinking about you today with your scan. I hope you get some reassuring results x

I had hcg bloods yesterday so I'm waiting on the numbers. I'm pretty nervous. I'm around 5wks which is sadly the most pregnant I've been.

I've been advised to present at EPU for a reassurance scan, and the earliest they scan is 5wks 6d. I'm unsure when to go. I'd like to go next week when I'd be at least 6wks - is this too early?

@strawberrye I’m so sorry hun. I hope you get an appointment soon and can get to the bottom of this. Stay strong - this will happen for you, I’m confident that it will. In the meantime, we’re all here for you and we understand. Vent as much as you need to. Hugs

Sorry to see some new names here and so sorry for all of your losses. This group is so supportive and has helped me so much this past year, I hope it helps everyone else too.

@Yukka thank you!! I’m so nervous, I just hope that we both have very sticky beans. We’re in this together! X

@SerenaOverjoyed definitely was a relief! I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you for good hcg levels! 🤞 I don’t think 6 weeks is too early, although they do say not to worry if there’s not much to see as it’s still very early. You usually see a heartbeat at 6 weeks though. My EPU won’t scan before 7 weeks, I’d like one a bit earlier, still feels ages away! Good luck x

@strawberrye it’s possible the cause of this one wasn’t related to aps, it’s one of the things I worry about, just cos i have it doesn’t make me immune to normal chromosome defects/unviable pregnancies, those risks still exist. Be good for you to get that second round of bloods done now. I personally think that early losses come with a better prognosis for future success, the ones after the heartbeat represent something ‘catastrophic’ Has happened to cause mc. I know it doesn’t help you now but I’m confident you’ll get there xxx not sure when you started aspirin with this one but I actually started on 8th October so had a good 6 weeks of blood thinning before implantation would have occurred this time. Don’t know if it made a difference. 5w milestone is tomorrow.

@serenaoverjoyed no worries! We didn’t discuss it actually but dh says he doesn’t dare go near me and id probably rather not do anything that could potentially possibly in any way add any form of risk. I don’t think there is a risk - but it’s been a long journey to get here and we have a long road ahead too. Go with what you feel comfortable with xx

@lilimum5 hope you get some answers today xx

Mornings by ladies
Really struggling at the mo, I can't get my thoughts straight or stable, today will be 7 weeks since conception and 2 weeks since I started to bleed for 2 days. I still have no definitive answer that I did mc although I know I did. Still had a positive test yesterday... I was told when I phone my local epu a couple days after my bleed to wait 3 weeks and then test because a scan wouldn't show up til 7 weeks, so why did she tell me to wait til the 8th week? Don't they know this is torture?
Can someone talk me through the process of what happens if there is tissue left behind please? Is it a painful horrible procedure? I'm so scared I can't think straight

Morning ladies.

So sad to hear of more losses happening, I'm so sorry. It's so cruel. Also glad there is positive bees too for some,gives us all hope.

@Tiniestsky I hope you get some answers soon,waiting is absolute torture. I've had medical management and surgical management for mcs and neither are exactly pleasant experiences but I was really well cared for and you can have all the pain meds you need. I personally found the surgery really straight forward and pain free, in and out within the day. I think processes can be slightly different across the country though??

Feeling low today myself. Getting so close to my due date and I should be on mat leave now. I'm watching two friends go on mat leave now and it's hard not to feel sad about it. Strangely glad to see af yesterday though,my last mc was pretty horrific and neither dh or I are quite ready for pregnancy again yet.

Trying to catch up with who is where in terms of ttc! Bare with me,I'll grasp it soon!

Xx

*news not bees!!

So I called the epu back who has booked me in for a scan next week to confirm one way or another what's going on. To say I'm shitting myself would be an understatement, I've had a smear test but never really had anyone mooching about down there.
I'm a bit angry that the nurse I spoke to at the Rosie in Cambridge seemed quietly confident that I hadn't mc whereas the first one said it sounded clear cut that I had. They really shouldn't get your hopes up like that it's not right

@Lilimum5 @strawberrye @SerenaOverjoyed Thank you so much for the good wishes.

@Pickingflowers Welcome and sorry to hear about your loss.

@SerenaOverjoyed I don't think I ever said congratulations on your BFP?! So congratulations! Hope all progresses well for you.

@Tiniestsky So sorry you're not feeling more supported and have so much uncertainty, it might be worth calling EPU and asking for a scan? Worst they can do is say no. If you did end up with "retained products" (I hate that phrase!) which is quite unlikely they might suggest removing these surgically. I know people who have had this procedure done and they have said that the physical recovery was not too bad.

@BerylBunny Sorry you're feeling low, when was your due date? Mine was 28th November and I'm finding it tough.

IVF-wise 3 of my 4 embryos are doing well so my transfer has been rescheduled for Monday. Fingers crossed they make it that far!

@Tiniestsky Cross posted there, so glad you've got a scan booked! Shame it's not sooner though as I know every day seems like an age when you don't know what's going on. Trans-vaginal scans are considerably LESS uncomfortable than a smear test.

No worries, thanks for the reassurance, the nurse said that if it was left over tissue or something more untoward wrong then I'd typically have symptoms, bleeding or pain, don't know if that's true..?

@Tiniestsky I was told the same. It took me 6 weeks to get a negative test after miscarriage and I had no left over tissue (had multiple scans to check), just high and slow-dropping hCG levels.

Oh my god, my hcg is really low. I was told the result by a gp receptionist so I'm praying she's read it wrong. She said it was KAJ 45.2 (no idea what the kaj is about, this is why I hope it's wrong).

I don't know how I'm going to wait 4hrs. I really thought this was my rainbow.

@Tiniestsky it took 10 days for my HCG to drop from 8 to below 6 and was just given the explanation of "HCG just lingers in some women" so it might just be your body taking it's time. Either way at least they're giving you a scan and you'll know what's going on, shame it's not a little sooner though!

@SerenaOverjoyed the waiting really is torture isn't it, I hope you get some better news in a few hours.
That's why i opted for the scan rather than blood test so I know there and then for sure, well I hope that's the case x

Well that scan did not go well at all I still poc and now need medical management or a d&c again. I'm devastated I just wanted this over so I could get on. Blood test says I still have very high hcg and they said it could be growing and that's why the hpt are getting darker. And if I don't get it sorted I could get a septic uterus. I'm so fed up now.

How has everyone else got on today

Sorry the scan didn't go better @Lilimum5, when will you have the medical management/d&c?

My day was going ok until I broke down in tears when getting a blood test when the nurse told me my smear was overdue and I had to explain that it was put off because I was pregnant but now I've had a miscarriage.

@Beaglemum93 I'm sorry your having a rubbish day hun I totally understand xx

@Beaglemum93 I had the same situation over the phone with the doctors this morning. Booked smear in next week. Tears rolling too.

@Lilimum5 so sorry it wasn't better news. I know that feeling of just wanting it all to be done with so you can love forwards. Really hope limbo is over soon.

@TinyPaws my due date was December 11th. I hope your due date passes without too much sadness. I'll be at home with dd for mine. Not sure if that's a good thing or not! I love having her around but also hate when I can't be the upbeat happy mummy she enjoys being with best

@BerylBunny thanks hun. All this extra crap is pulling my mood further down. And I now have to deal with people telling me I should stop trying now on top of the hopeless failure feelings.