TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

I'm getting so fed up of all of this, I'm still getting faint positives nearly 5 weeks since the D&C and 2 weeks after a blood test showed that my HCG levels were 8. The hospital won't investigate any further because it's less than 25. Clearly there is still something left because something has to be causing the elevated HCG levels... I don't know what to do, I'm on day 3 of AF so it's not stopping that from happening but will I be able to ovulate this cycle if it won't go down? Sorry to rant, I'm just so sick of it all.

Thank you everyone for the kind messages - I keep repeating to myself that right now I'm pregnant - I have my next scan on the 7th of December and I'm too anxious to contact the midwife until then - the sonographer did said everything looked normal for this stage of pregnancy, but I don't think I'll relax until I see a little heart beating at 12 weeks.

@beaglemum93 it may be that at this stage that because your levels of HCG are so low, if anything is still there it will be "flushed out" (for lack of a better term) with AF? Maybe test once she's over and done with and see where you are? I was "lucky" to get a BFN quite soon after my ERPC, but I can understand the anxiety of wanting it all to be clear. I hope you get the result you want soon x

@Beaglemum93 it's horrible waiting for the bfn. As @Justincase87 says I wonder if AF may resolve it for you. Idve thought if your levels were 8, and you have AF your body would be able to ovulate as it's all hormonal. Random thought but have you tried an opk? Mine were showing strong positives when I was still getting BFPs...so thought being is an opk is negative the hormone level must be ultra low? And you'd have a baseline to see if it progresses this month? What tests are you using?

@Yukka so pleased you have a plan. I really hope the treatment works for you.

@Tiniestsky I had medical management with my first MMC (although it took time and several doses as miso alone didn't work, and me begging for mifepristone as well as misoprostol as I wanted to avoid surgery). I'm not going to lie, it was incredibly painful when the main part of the loss happened. I had the meds first thing Friday morning (48hours after the mife) and I started to cramp a bit and bleed within a couple of hours. Ramped up to a period level over the next 24 hours, but then Sunday morning I had a couple of hours of agony and lots of clots. However it did suddenly stop, and the pain just went. The pain with my natural MC was similar, although it came and went over 3/4 days so I had that same level of pain in shorter bouts. Then, When I passed my bow I had no pain at all-that was two days after the last big bout of pain/clots. It's different for everyone though I think.

@strawberrye how was your day yesterday?

Sorry to those I haven't mentioned specifically-getting behind on the thread!

As for me-took dad to the footy yesterday and as predicted AF was evil-so damn heavy! Changed pads several times and had to keep making excuses to go to the loo. I swear if it stays this heavy I'll need iron supplements again. Starting to panic about consultant appt on Tuesday. Worried they'll have found something that explains my two mmcs in the bloods they took, but also worried they won't! I'm properly loopy I know. X

Morning ladies!
What do you think to this? It’s the darkest I’ve got? Xx

@daydreamer1707 that looks good test again this evening and twice a day until they go faint. Most women ovulate in the evening or overnight... good luck!!

So happy, I was starting to get annoyed! It’s actualy gone slightly darker too xx

@DayDreamer1707 I'd agree-looks good! @Yukka has good advice to retest-I do that too so I have an idea how long my surge is x

@Laney79 @Yukka would you say this evening or afternoon? Thanks so much x

I’d do about 5pm. What time was that one done? X

I tend to do mine with fmu for a clear blue (and usually a cheapie too) then mid to late afternoon and if I'm in the mood one before bed too. Really helped me understand what's going on. I only start testing more than once when I think I'm getting close to ov though.

Anyone else going to try the new clearblue "connected" tests? Bought some off eBay to give it a go this month.

@Yukka that was literally at 10:20, came up pretty quick with the result too.
@Laney79 I must be pretty close so I definitely need to do another. This is my first time using the One Step strips, I’ve never used the clear blue as I had no idea when I would ovulate x

@Laney79 good luck for your appointment tomorrow and keep us updated! My day on Saturday was bittersweet. Being out and about with all the Christmas stuff made it all hit me again that I should have a baby by now - or be expecting to give birth on boxing day - or thinking about how to tell our families about our early pregnancy. Then wondering how many Christmases we'll be longing to have a baby but not having one. I got quite upset as I normally love Christmas and just not looking forward to it this year. Things started moving on Saturday as well physically, my cramps in the morning were followed by really heavy bleeding in the afternoon and throughout the rest of the weekend. Not bled like that since I was a teenager! Trying to see it as my body having a "clear out" ready for a fresh start

Thanks @strawberrye -I'm already freaking out.

Sorry Saturday was tough for you. It's so hard isn't it? I've been doing my Christmas shopping and all I can think is I should be buying "baby's first Christmas" stuff and looking forward to our first big day as a family...or as you say growing a nice belly with my bow. It feels very cruel. Sending you a penguin hug. Sounds like you're right about your body having a clear out-I'm experiencing a v heavy first AF since MMC too.
One day it WILL be our turn xxx

@strawberrye @Laney79 I am so sorry to hear you are both feeling like this, makes me sad as I totally understand your feelings. I do hope you get to have your fresh start soon. It is an odd emotion when you do get your first AF after a MC or when you first the 1st BFN. I'm on my 1st cycle since and I still have my sad moments but also trying to stay positive.
I got my first positive reading on my OPKs yesterday which I was ridiculously happy about as this was the first positive thing since my MC. I am going to test again this morning around 10:30 to see if the surge is still there. But this is my first time using OPKs i'm not actually sure when that means I will ovulate. Will it be in the next day or so or when I start to get negative results again? I'm new to tracking my ovulation 😫

@DayDreamer1707 I'm never sure on exact ovulation timing but I take it as 24-36 hours after my first strong positive. This month was weird though as my surge lasted three days so guessing it may have been later?

I think the only way to tell for sure is taking your baby but to be honest that's a step too far for me!

Baby?!!?? Bloody predictive text! BBT!

Well ladies I'm on ward at the epu, waiting for doctor to bring me the paperwork to sign. Just praying it goes well.
Seems so strange to want an empty uterus and a bfn. I'm numb tbh I'm not sure what to feel xx

@Laney79 someone has got baby on the brain ha. I will test again today and then DTD again just to cover ourselves I suppose. I haven't been doing BBT either this is my first month really tracking things so hoping using the One Step strips will work. I will test till they go negative too and then I know how long my surge lasts, could even be over so we shall see x

Hi ladies,

Sorry I haven't been around much recently. Because I'm not TTC it's not on my mind as much at the moment so not been dropping in as often as usual.

There's too much for me to catch up on, so this is just a general message to all of you.

I'm so sorry for those of you with a recent loss. Welcome to the new posters. Sending massive hugs all round.

Good luck to those going through IVF, I'm thinking of you.

Good luck to those of you with hospital and doctors appointments. Thinking of you also.

And those who are newly pregnant again, take each day at a time; and if that's too much take each hour at a time. Today you're pregnant. Look after yourselves and I hope the wait for your first scans doesn't seem too long.

There's been quite a mix of good and bad news recently but the thread is moving so fast! I think we're approaching 1000 posts quite soon so someone might want to think about starting a new thread.

As for me, I'm trudging along. Still waiting for RMC appointment. Looks like I'll be able to hand my notice in at work soon. So I'm hoping that 2019 is going to be a better year with a new job and some answers to all the pregnancy losses I've had this year, so I can start to move on to the next plan and TTC again or start looking at adoption.
In a couple of weeks it will be a full year since I started TTC and Christmas coming up is making me feel a bit emotional, as others have already said. I should have either had a little baby in my arms or be at some stage of pregnancy by now. I wish we were looking forward to a baby-themed Christmas, but I'm trying not to dwell on it too much. Feeling a little low I suppose, but it could be PMS getting in the way.

I never realised how much baby stuff there was at Christmas until this year - my first due date was next Monday, my DH who has been amazingly supportive won't think of it as a due date as the baby didn't survive so it was never 'due' - I know this is his way of coping but it's difficult, I have my scan a few days after my due date so I'm praying that it's good news.

@knitkitty I keep repeating to myself that today I am pregnant - I hope the next year brings you some answers and that you can have a peaceful Christmas - it's so bloody hard.

Good luck to anyone in the fertile window or having appointments etc this week!

Good luck with TTC and congratulations to BFPs - I do keep reading the thread every so often, but not always commenting.

I'm CD 18 and I think I ovulated CD 12-13. I use CB OPKs but once I get a peak (FMU) I would stop. I try to take BBT every morning, except weekends (as I tend to sleep longer) and some mornings, like today, when I haven't slept well / disturbed sleep in the last few hours of sleep. But looks like BBT has risen above baseline so I take it as a sign of ovulation.

Ok so I had a very strong positive yesterday and today also another positive on my Ovulation sticks. I have just been the loo and there was pink spotting? I have had back ache all morning and now slight cramps. I don't know if this is just my body being messed up since my MC. Does anyone know what this mean? XX

Hi ladies, is there room for one more?

Reluctantly & sadly joining after losing our little bean at 8 weeks exactly on Friday.

We saw her little heart beating at 6+3 so wrongly assumed everything was on the right track.

I am 25, this is our first. We were very lucky to conceive first time so fx'd for the same luck this time 🤞🏼

@DayDreamer1707 this happened to me in my first cycle after losing Charlie so I think it’s pretty common. I had pink spotting for a couple days, on the second day of it I ovulated so I would say the timing is right. I also get ovulation cramps every month since my first MC, never used to before. Good luck for this month!

@KnitKitty sorry to hear you’re feeling down, I really hope next year is kind to you, you deserve it. Sending hugs xx

I’m 5+4 today, just taking everything one day at a time. Had a midwife appointment which went well, should be hearing from the EPU this week and hopefully a scan next week. Very nervous 😬

@ratherbeshowjumping I’m sorry to see you here. This is a great bunch of such supportive ladies, hope you find it helpful x