The Hut of Gl/doom part IV- it's still never going to happen- but ^in^ ^style^, yes

[duchesse]

After all that desert sand, we are in serious need of slightly damper place...

This one is a hamam, complete with essential oils and thick Turkish towelling bath sheets. Mosaics on the floors, marble pools. You get the picture. It still needs some decorating though.

We have had a few graduates (OK, quite a few), which is good, but time to dust off the old Hut for those of us who are still barren.

good god sound like we are all having a day of it!! have to go to docs 2moz to 'discuss my options' great

its so horrible.

so, so sad aboutthe twins

Is there room for a little one? The founders of The Hut? may be shocked to see me... but I need a place to curl up in a ball and sob. And I thought I'd be able to do it here.

Good place Reads. It's a spa bath hammam type place, so if you just want a quiet lie-down in the warmth, there are side-rooms.

Sounds just the ticket Duchesse - Thank you.

Sssh, i know, i know!

Oh Ready. Haven't seen you for ages. Sorry you're a blubbering mess. Have this long cold drink and tell us all about it.

impatience-hows you? havent seen lissie for a day or two, hoping she is good, too

I'm ok, thanks Scorpio. Finished my exams earlier in the week. Am now knack'd and SO busy catching up on all the work I've spectacularly failed to get done recently. Great!

But it feels like life's reverting to normal a bit now, and I've been hanging onto this insane hope that once life gets a bit easier I shall stop being so infertile. So I have been hanging out for July 07 for over a year now. Talk about pressure!

I didn't try this month, and I feel so blissfully oblivious to where I am in the month. I strongly recommend it!

I haven't seen Lissie either, but then I'm only ever in here!

How are you?

Slurp. Just what I needed, a tall glass of ice cold Pimms (is that too much of a weedy drink?!)...

Well, since you asked...

CD1 due tomorrow, the start of what will be cycle 11 trying to conceive our first baby. The tell-tale cramps have been about for days - Is it rational to be so irritated by knowing my body so well? Surely, that should be a good thing to focus on. But if I hear myself say "well, at least the month I conceive, I'll know!".

NO I WON'T - BECAUSE IT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!

I am so tired of the endless optimism that I spout, month after month after month.

I chastise myself if I get upset about FTC, telling myself "there are people out there with far worse problems than not being able to have a baby!"

I know that is true - but that's soon forgotten, when out, I see a glowing pregnant lady and every ounce of me wants to stand and scream "Why can't I have a massive bump and morning sickness!?"

Blub.

I'm sorry for this diatribe of selfishness. I have always been on the periphery of The Hut?, purely because I knew my positivity was inappropriate, but I always lurk/ed and love the frankness.

I need you all now. I hope that's ok?

Sniff. Sob.

Quick, someone slap me!

Emotional wreck??

Impatience - Good to hear that you have finished your exams and some normality can begin. Enjoy.

Scorpio -

Ready - I thought I might find you in here.

Room for another one?
Just got results of my blood tests and it looks like I didn't ov this month (don't know if that's because I never do or if it's an anovulatory cycle) but I have waited 3 cycles to get these tests done as AF keeps arriving on w/e, so I'm really angry because it just feels like another month wasted. And I don't mean in the bd-ing stakes, I mean in the finding out what's bloody wrong with my fecking body. ARRGHH, I could scream. (Actually I think the Hut needs a soundproofed room where I can do that...)

Can I join you too? Sorry to see you here Ready and Nomore.
I'm having an extremely shitty week. A friend has just had a beautiful baby girl , I'm sick of tripping over pregnant bumps every time I venture out, and my due date is looming on Sunday. I'm dreading it, all I can think of is babies, and that I don't think i'm ever going to have one. I know lots of you ladies are struggling with other things to, but please don't kick me in the shins, and banish me.

And af is due on Suday too, and I'm certain it will rear its ugly head. And I have a raging uti, and so am currently peeing blood.

Hope you get the drift.Hugs to you all.

Ready, Nomore, Kensgirl, recline yourselves here and get it all out. We don't need soundproofing because we don't care who hears us scream in here. And we don't have an inclusion criteria: If you're feeling pissed off with FTC then you're at home here.

Kensgirl: peeing blood sounds just horrid.

Nomore: I have the same with CD1 tending to be on a weekend. Which means CD21 is too. AAAAarrrgh.

Ready: You're chirpiness hasn't quite run out: you put 2 happy faces in your post! Sorry it's getting you down. It's rough.

Here's another tray of drinks.

Oh ready.

I love you for saying what fell all the F*ing time.

I'm so down about it all.

I do have a lovely boy (of 2) and you will too, trust me.

But I want another one and am sick and tired of people like my MIL (who arrives this afternoon in a cloud of misery) describing ds as an only child.

Dh's sister is PG too and her ds is only 1.

and she's 18 months older than me - I'm old but she's older still.

A very lovely person once told me that Misery Likes Company. How true is that!!

Sorry to be completely nosy here, but Impatience are you and your partner both ttc now? Fingers crossed for you both.

Yes, Ready, we are both trying now! (Our donor is such a gem!) Our cycles are interleaved that the one who's just tried doesn't quite yet know whether she's pg or not when the other one has to go for it... So each month we take that risk of two. But given my enormous success rate so far we don't think it's a tremendous risk, and I really wouldn't complain about having two babies! Hey, it'd only be extremely tough for, oh, about 2 years, then it would just be normal tought, yeah..? Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I do feel a lot more relaxed about t/ftc now dp is also trying. I still hate my stupid body for not doing what it's supposed to and my stupid brain for being such a stresser, but I do now still feel that we might just get another child.

Also, it's very interesting being the partner rather than the empty-womb: I am much less obsessed, and keep wanting to say the kind of thing a lot of women on here have moaned about their men saying. Things that are supposed to be reassuring, like 'don't worry, it'll happen', and 'oh, well, there's always next month'. I would scream at dp if she ever said this to me when it was MY period arriving, but I really do feel a lot more chilled out when it's her.

And of course you know I REALLY want more children, so this is a lesson in your men not being completely unbothered by your ftc: it's just a completely different experience on this side!

Hi Ladies

This is my first post in the hut. I'm very gloomy this evening, sick of the whole business. It just drives me crazy in the last few days before af is due, so close to knowing but still not, swinging between being sure you're pg one minute and sure you're not the next.... aaargh! Seems like pms is rearing its ugly head, but eternal optimist fool part of me is trying to convince me it could be pg symptoms instead of pms. Realist part of me is telling silly part to shut up and accept that another month has come and gone and no luck yet again.

Ugh, so depressed and totally lacking in all energy and enthusiasm. DD was supposed to be bathed and off to bed half an hour ago but I can't be arsed to get her up the stairs.

Oh my god! It's becoming very bizarre to hear so many people I've never met describing exactly how I feel...

I just did another test. I didn't even try last month, so would be 7 weeks pg... which meant I really had to accept that no line meant no pg. Stupid really, 'cause I bled and then two weeks later had cm... it's just I felt all queasy and had period cramps. Period not due for a week, so possibly I was actually pg! Of course not. What a tit. Prob just that really rich lunch I had

So now I feel rough AND am not pg. Balls.

ok well the result was 28 (day 21 bloods) not as bad as stupid fing receptionist made out still it means i havent ovulated. The strange thing is my boobs are still realllllllyyy sore and i have had no other signs of impending af. I know its pretty near impossible if i haven't ov'd but even my pg cat (fucks sake i mean even my cat can get pg ) wants to be nowhere near me. She was like this with my friend just before she found out she was pg. God i know i sound like a psycho woman \nd i just want to slap mysel and say YOU* DID NOT OVULATE SO YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT but there is that little naughty voice inside me saying just maybe doctors can be wrong and i wasn't that far from 30

just sticking my nose in to see how everyone is. am reluctant to truly leave the hut yet, can i just sit in the corner?

hiya lissie how you feeling? I have decided to start using opks and temping as its driving me batty not knowing what is happening. bit premature prehaps but hey if it helps. How far on are you? Have you been scanned yet or anything?

Hi Lissie, you're welcome anytime.

Wherefore: of course we all know the logical answer, but I'd be thinking exactly the same as you! I really hope you get an answer soon.

WhereforartthouAF - The level is 30 isn't it, to say that ovulation has occurred, is it possible you tested too early? The level should be checked 7dpo, but not everyone ovulates on CD14. When do you ovulate?

wherefor, i ov'd 4d early with this pg (only knew coz of pains) as impatience says not everyone ovs at CD14.

im ok. v nervous now. most of my mcs have been at between 5 & 6 weeks and im 4w4d now. keep knicker checking and am driving myself mad! will have scan in 2w and see gp on tues again to sort out all my antenatal care. im crapping myself tho. when i was pg with ds i was scanned at what i thought was 7w but the mw said she only saw a 5w foetus, didny=t occur to me that something might be wrong. wish i was still that naive and trusting.

sorry i know its a bit insensitive of me but im scared and dont know where else to go