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Conception

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Original poster

The Hut of Gl/doom part IV- it's still never going to happen- but ^in^ ^style^, yes

536 replies

duchesse · 08/06/2007 08:18

After all that desert sand, we are in serious need of slightly damper place...

This one is a hamam, complete with essential oils and thick Turkish towelling bath sheets. Mosaics on the floors, marble pools. You get the picture. It still needs some decorating though.

We have had a few graduates (OK, quite a few), which is good, but time to dust off the old Hut for those of us who are still barren.

OP posts:
Impatience · 25/06/2007 18:08

Crikey Nelli, your post isn't too much: You're in exactly the right spirit for the hut! Don't ever feel you need to apologize for or justify how low you feel here. This is the place to let go of all that control and social niceties and just get on with how you feel.

I'm so sorry you are so miserable. It is indeed truly crap. I expect it does rub your nose in it somewhat with dsd, no matter how much you might like her. So sorry you had a failed IVF. You're not the only one in here. I'm too chicken to even try IVF for the expected disappointment!

Listen, I don't have any magic words of wisdom etc, but I do know just how rubbish this FTC trap can be. I'm sorry you feel so low. See you back here soon xxx

WhereforartthouAF · 25/06/2007 21:14

Hi ladies

Please just ignore me i need to have a rant before i f*ing deck someone (i'm aiming for the clearblue and every other preg test company in the world!!!!)

Ok here goes....

cycles usually 36+ days. Normal symptoms b4 af are sore boobs about 5 days b4 as soon as they stop hurting af arrives. CD 23 and my boobs are really sore ....

Logical side of me "i'm going to have AF early"

Non logical "ooh i must be pregnant i've never had them this sore this early on"

Listen to non logical side and do a bloody test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

B F FUCKING N !!!

Only cd 30 but surely, surely surely something would be showing by now even a little faint line?? but no nothing
So i have spent the last 30 mins crying in the bathroom can't explain to DH just 'cos he is a man and would never understand.

I'm so sorry for whinging but every month i get a negative (ok, ok about 10) test and i don't know why i am so surprised..

WhereforartthouAF · 25/06/2007 21:20

oh please can someone be around??

derah · 25/06/2007 21:34

Hi WhereforartthouAF

It's just so flipping hard, isn't it? I can't understand why nobody, not even my best friend, talked to me about how tough it would be when I told them I was going to ttc. Thank goodness we have each other, and all understand exactly what it feels like to get that BFN (and F doesn't stand for "fat" in my book!) when you're soooooooooooooo sure that this time it's worked.

(((((((((((((((((Huge hugs)))))))))))))))))

WhereforartthouAF · 25/06/2007 21:38

I almost convince my stupid self You wanna know the worst part thou? i keep thinking its still too early and i still could be....... oh for gods sake kick me pleeeassse ....

Louplet · 25/06/2007 21:47

Hi W. Just wanted to give you a big mental hug. It sounds like you are really going through the wringer right now. Take care x

derah · 25/06/2007 22:49

W, I go through the same thing every month. If af starts light, I'm sure it's implantaion bleeding. I take the test apart and hold it up to the light in case there's a faint band that will be clearer that way.... all logic and sanity goes out of the window and we find the flimsiest straws to cling to. But one glorious day....... (am I allowed to say that in the hut?)

Impatience · 26/06/2007 09:08

Just ditto to all you've all just said! It truly stinks.

Nelli30 · 26/06/2007 10:01

Morning whereforartthouAF

Just wanted to say that you are soooooooooooo not the only one. I also go through this madness each month. Like you I tend to get sore boobs 5/6 days before AF arrives but even if they are slightly more or less sore I convince myself that this may just be our month, so out I go and get a test, just to put my mind at rest so I can stop thinking about it (yeah right!)when I get a negative, so after holding it up to the light and examining it under a microscope for 10 minutes and chucking in the bin, then pulling out the bin later on , 'just to check', I then hear the little voice in my head starting to tell me 'maybe its too early for a line to show' and then I find myself back at square one, wondering if this month may just be our month!!! It enough to drive you mad isn't it?! Please don't feel bad about it though, I think its completely normal, (if its not then you and I are in big trouble!!) We have to do what we have to do to keep going on the rollercoaster of a ride of ttc!!

Big hugs to you - xxx

scorpio1 · 26/06/2007 10:04

Nelli30-are you me??

BabyBratt · 26/06/2007 10:10

Nelli30 I spend every month sat in the toilet crying because my AF has arrived. Because stuff has happened this month DH wants to stop ttc for a bit. We are arguing but I love him so much but I am not sure he understands. I do think you feel like a failure everytime my AF comes. It doesn't help that everytime I go to visit DH's parents his mum pats my tummy and says when are you going to make me a Grandma. It is soul destroying.

where Every months I convince myself every twing is a sign. I am lucky is that AF is never late.

I am so scared to go to the doctor because of what he will say. I know that is not logical but why I don't know either way there is hope.

Nelli30 · 26/06/2007 10:12

Just wanted to add - a old school friend just called in to see me at work to tell me that a girl I used to know, who got married 6 months ago is now expecting!!!! obviously I made all the right noises, 'oh how lovely' etc but FFS, I just want to scream!! Its so bloody unfair!

Thanks

Nelli30 · 26/06/2007 10:24

That must be so hard babybrat - my Dh keeps saying to me 'you shouldn't get so upset each month' and 'just try to forget about it and it will happen' etc.... I think your right, I just don't think however good your relationship is that partners (through no fault of there own) can truely understand the gut wrenching, heartbreaking reality for a women ttc, which is why we are all here for each other. How do you feel about not ttc for a while?! Isn't there any other option?!

Scorpio - I take it you too can relate to this insanity?!!!

Nelli30 · 26/06/2007 10:26

Babybrat - How long have you been ttc for? Have you not been to the doctors at all?!

scorpio1 · 26/06/2007 10:32

oh yes!!

im cd24 today, and feel pg, but i so know its just teasing me!

scorpio1 · 26/06/2007 10:33

this is my 4th cycle after a mirena coil, btw.

Feedmenow · 26/06/2007 11:01

Hi ladies. Been keeping away for a while cos am taking a little break from ttc, but have been checking up on things from the sidelines.
But I just had to come in today with my unjoyous news.
Firstly, my first lot of bearded dragon eggs have now hatched so we have 13 really cute little lizards cavorting and playing. I know that they are only reptiles, but baby anythings are always cute, and make me think of a baby me
And more seriously, back in Feb (just a month after my missed mc) my cousin had a mc. I don't see her often but saw her about a month ago and we spoke briefly about the mc's. I came away from the discussion feeling in myself that she was already pg again. And my mum has just told me that she overheard something at the weekend and thinks that I'm right. I DO feel pleased for them cos I know the heartache mc brings, but I also feel horrendously jealous and bitter. Being in the midst of taking a break from trying I can't help but wonder if it isn't just easy to stop trying altogether and come to terms with the family I have rather than resume the monthly routine of bitter disappointment each time my period arrives.

scorpio1 · 26/06/2007 11:04

its a kick in the teeth for me when i know others are pg-let alone when u have had a mc.its shite, isn't it.

maybe just keep trying? it may happen.

BabyBratt · 26/06/2007 11:33

I've been ttc for 8 months (I know this is not a huge length of time but it feels like forever to me). I told my Doc I was coming of the pill and he told me if it hadn't happened by 10 months to come back. My DH's mum tried for 7 years and then fell pregnant at 30 and she then had 5 one after another.

Im on CD13 so I should be BDing but DH is avoiding me because he wants to stop because of the business. I am gutted and want to carry on. I will win him around but I may miss this month.

I am scared of the doctor but I may go back before month 10. He is not the nicest man and I find it difficult to talk to him.

How long have people been ttc in here? it just seems that all my friends take a month or two?

Nelli30 · 26/06/2007 12:06

We've been trying coming up 3 years now, we had IVF in April 07 but no success. When we first realised it wasn't happening straight away I went to my GP who said that he couldn't/wouldn't refer me on for tests etc untill we had been trying for a year! So I'm afraid I told a little white lie just to get the referral. My advice to you is get yourself to your Gp and if you have to tell a little lie just to get a referral in the system because we then didn't get an appointment untill 5 months later!!
If it helps at all, they do say that the majority of couple having regular you know what will conceive within 12 months. I hope this helps a bit. You will get great support from this website - its saved me many a time from going insane!

xx

mslucy · 26/06/2007 13:46

I've got a hospital appointment next month.

It was less than 3 months after my GP's appt.

so I'd say get down the doc asap.

I've been trying to conceive no.2 for over a year and it's driving me bloody mental.

am incredibly bloated and have very swollen boobs - I'd like to think positive but after over a year of hoping and nothing happening, I guess I'd better prepare myself for the worst.

WhereforartthouAF · 26/06/2007 19:44

Have just had my results from my dy 21 bloods they said that my level is way under 30 the worst part of this is my boobs are soooooo sore and i had convinced myself i really was pg when the reality is its almost f*ing impossible now

scorpio1 · 27/06/2007 17:56

whereforartthou

i have come in here to moan that i am never going to get pg.......or thats what it feels like [cry]

spugs · 27/06/2007 18:23

I too have come to moan, i have no real reason as this is my first proper cycle since my mc but my body is so messed up i am feeling rather cross and pesemistic at the minute! I had blood red spotting cd13 (just the once) and then today (cd15) bit of brown blood then brown cm all day , i am being driven crazy as i hoped it might have been oving ( i seem to cramp around that time at the min) but the brown gunge (sorry) seems to have messed up that theory. On top of this today my friends sister who was due a week before i would be with identical twins has lost them at 16 weeks life is so bloody unfair

mslucy · 27/06/2007 18:51

poor you. m/c = shit.

horrible, horrible, horrible.