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Original poster

The Hut of Gl/doom part IV- it's still never going to happen- but ^in^ ^style^, yes

536 replies

duchesse · 08/06/2007 08:18

After all that desert sand, we are in serious need of slightly damper place...

This one is a hamam, complete with essential oils and thick Turkish towelling bath sheets. Mosaics on the floors, marble pools. You get the picture. It still needs some decorating though.

We have had a few graduates (OK, quite a few), which is good, but time to dust off the old Hut for those of us who are still barren.

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bobbydazzler · 31/07/2007 11:36

Hi Rachel,

I am really so sorry to hear your sad news. I don't have any experience yet of miscarriage (and hope that I never will) but I expect others will be along who do.

kensgirl · 31/07/2007 11:37

Hi all, I'm just sneaking quietly back in and I'm just going to sit in the corner and think awhile. cd 3 of cycle 10 since mc now, this i think will be my last attempt before dragging my sorry, failing arse off to the GP.

I leave my large stash of cadburys and baileys and wine and gin and whiskey and more cadburys for you all to share. I feel so that I have even gone off that.

Original poster
duchesse · 31/07/2007 11:46

I am so sorry Rachel. Sneaky miscarriages are the worst. I agree that you need to grieve.

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Rainbowdays · 31/07/2007 15:48

Sorry to hear your news Rachel, do take time to grieve first.

I am going to go to the docs this afternoon. I am so worried that I am in the throws of another mc, I just want to know and get it over with. I feel like I have dual personality at the moment, I go on the pg after mc thread and they are all chirpy and it makes me feel like there is not hope, I come here and I feel like I am not welcome, yet it was here that I felt I could safely say how I was feeling. I don't know where I belong now. So if I am not welcome here then just say so. I am feeling lost.

bobbydazzler · 31/07/2007 16:33

Hi Rainbowdays

Sorry to hear that you think you maybe in the throws of another miscarriage, lets hope not.

You are welcome by me and I have decided I have as much right to be in the Hut and to express myself in the way I want to as anyone else in it.

I think it is ridiculous to suggest that the hut is not the place for anyone experiencing any sort of emotion unless that emotion is "raw pain"

If you are having another miscarriage then I have no doubt that you will be experiencing raw pain but I believe that everyone who is on the TTC journey/battle, call it what you will experiences a range of emotions all the time (including dare I say it hope sometimes) and that this particular thread is a good place to pour out all the different emotions and be supported as opposed to castigated for discussing the wrong topics and expressing yourself in the wrong way. IMO There are no wrong or right topics or ways to express yourself if ultimately you are having difficulties with whatever stage you are at and you are seeking support from people who are also having difficulties as opposed to planning what season they are going to conceive in, or the ideal age gap, or worrying that they might be pregnant when they don't want to be, or who have just started on the TTC journey e.t.c e.t.c.

Hope this helps

Original poster
duchesse · 31/07/2007 16:50

Rainbow- of course you are welcome! Why would you not be? You're practically one of the founding members anyway. Anybody is who wants to come and have a moan or just slump in the corner and make no apologies for it, just no smilies, babydust etc... What you're trying to avoid elsewhere in fact.

I rather hope your fears re m/c are unfounded though.

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Original poster
duchesse · 31/07/2007 16:52

Bobbydazzler- I really do not know why you are being so aggressive. Six months ago, I was so low that you would have scared me off. There may be others out there on whom this talk is having the same effect.

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Original poster
duchesse · 31/07/2007 16:55

...and the Hut would be a spectacularly inappropriate place to discuss fears over an unwanted pregnancy, or have "I"m expecting a girl but I wanted a boy" type ambits. Guaranteed to send most of us fleeing for the hills (well me, certainly).

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bobbydazzler · 31/07/2007 17:07

Duchesse that was exactly what I was saying at the end of my last post!!!!!!!

Ok I may be being aggressive towards you and if so i apologise, but it is only because you really upset me and you do not seem to understand why, despite the fact that you have obviously confused Rainbowdays and some of the newer posters as well.

However I will lay down the boxing gloves now and accept that you did not intend to cause any upset/offence/confusion although that was the effect your edicts had on me.

Cryptonomicon · 31/07/2007 17:15

I have not posted here for a long time but I just wanted to say that I support Duchesse totally in what she is saying here. BobbyDazzler, I am afraid you are compleltely missing the point. The hut has been a complete godsend for people to vent their very unappealing emotions and as a place to go where you can moan as much as you like without being cheered up. It has nothing to do with 'qualifying' to be here or not. Duchesse started the hut and as far as I am concerned she sets the rules.

Original poster
duchesse · 31/07/2007 17:36

Erm, Bobby, Rainbowdays has been here practically since the start. Am not sure what your point is...

Thanks, Crypto. I don't actually view this as my own private world though, but I did have a personal brief when I set it up, which seems to have helped many people over the months (me included!) of not being "mainstream" at all. That's not meant to sound in any way elitist or snobby, but just meant to describe the very private state of mind many of us are in, with emotions that are clearly unwanted or out of place on other threads. Because where most of us are and were at the time was a very lonely and soul-destroying place, and it was lovely to be able to come here and just exteriorise things that may not see the light of day anywhere else, even in RL (I know that is the case for me).

Which I why I do not feel it appropriate to ask for temping advice (which some of us have been using for years without success, ditto other techniques and interventions) etc here, when there are other perfectly good threads in the conception topic- this is more of a "last resort" support, shoulder-patting, service than a flat advice line. Somewhere where you come to moan about and seek solace, not inquire about, such matters. Plenty of the ladies on here are enduring painful repeat procedures in their bid to become pregnant, but they are also abroad on MN on threads related to those things if you want their advice. Here is where you come and say, to cite but one (procedure-related) example "Had X procedure today and it's really shit, isn't it?" not "Anybody had X procedure? I need to know about it". There is a BIG difference to my mind.

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Original poster
duchesse · 31/07/2007 17:47

Anyway, Lissie, how are you doing today? Will you try to get a cancellation, do you think? Ten weeks does seem like a long time to have to wait, when it perfectly possible that an appointment will come up sooner.

Kept meaning to ask if you've ever had peritonitis or appendicitis- a friend of mine did at 18 months and was operated on, and when having exploratory procedures many years later for fertility problems discovered that she had finger prints (!!!) on her ovaries, and a lot of other scarring around her tubes- possibly caused by the infection, but possibly also by manhandling during the peritonitis op. Or did you have any infection after the birth of your son? I do hope your appointment with the specialist can be brought forward, and that you can get the answers you need asap.

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lissie · 31/07/2007 19:04

never had appendicitis but they really really fucked up my cs, putting my bladder back in the wrong place for a start i also had Uterine Group B Strep afterwards which went undetected for a week, god knows what damage thats done. i was in and out of hospital for 6 months after he was born with various infections, cramps etc. in my heart i know that all of my mc's are down to their negligience and that its v unlikely that i will ever have another successful pg, but cant quite bring myself to give up, feel like i'd be cheating my 6 lost babies iykwim.

i found some research linking uterine GBS with early mc, apparently (coz its a flu/sore throat virus) as soon as the bean becomes a living thing (ie heart starts) the infection gives it a massive dose of flu. all of my mc's have been at the 5-6w mark, except for 1 which got to 8w and my ep ruptured at 6+2.

sorry, turned out to be a mammoth post rainbow, im sorry. do you have CAT?

Rainbowdays · 31/07/2007 20:13

I am just back from twisting the doc's arm into testing hcg levels, I don't want to wait another week or more to know, what I already feel is happening.

So who is going to join me in a few drugs and alcohol here. The box of choccies is just not enough for me tonight. Come on duchesse and lissie, I know you will join me. What are your tipples of choice in a hamam?

Bobby - sorry I did not mean to make things worse here, I am feeling very inbetween sites, I think I should be on the pregnancy sites technically, and I don't want to upset any of my friends on the ttc sites, but I felt that my friends here on the ftc site would understand.

Lissie - I don't have CAT, but my email address is thingingoftrying at yahoo.co.uk,
I feel a little bad as you have had things 100 times worse than me, but I also know that you understand.

lissie · 31/07/2007 20:51

you still here rainbowdays? just sent you a CAT message. i'll get pissed with you!

Rainbowdays · 31/07/2007 22:31

lissie - im aready slooshed, peas join me!!! have emailed you too!

Original poster
duchesse · 01/08/2007 07:58

Sorry girls- am looking after small niece and nephew at the moment, and am zonked, so went to bed early. Should have said.

I'm beginning to think that a hammam is not the best place for the Hut- I'm not sure we can smuggle in enough alcohol with those guards on the door, and we certainly need booze, no?

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lissie · 01/08/2007 08:06

i agree with you there duchesse, how about a seedy (ironically of course) nightclub with red walls and animal print sofas?

Original poster
duchesse · 01/08/2007 08:23

Brilliant! On a perpetual women only night? Or do we go for old fashioned (World War 2) nightclub feel, with velvet sofas and dim lighting?

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lissie · 01/08/2007 08:26

how about a hybrid of the two. Blues music playing quietly in the background, dim wall lights a bit like an old jazz club. and its in a cellar too. faded rugs on the floor.... oooh can picture it now!

lissie · 01/08/2007 08:27

and every now and then fantasy men come in, parade around then leave.

Original poster
duchesse · 01/08/2007 08:30

Fab! That Colin Firth can come any time he likes.

D'you want to do it or shall I?

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lissie · 01/08/2007 08:33

i think as the fouding member you should have the honour!

Original poster
duchesse · 01/08/2007 08:34

Yeah, but look what a hash I made of choosing the decor of this Hut.

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Original poster
duchesse · 01/08/2007 08:36

The qi is all wrong, you see. It's affecting the atmosphere here.

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