The Hut of Gl/doom part IV- it's still never going to happen- but ^in^ ^style^, yes

[duchesse]

After all that desert sand, we are in serious need of slightly damper place...

This one is a hamam, complete with essential oils and thick Turkish towelling bath sheets. Mosaics on the floors, marble pools. You get the picture. It still needs some decorating though.

We have had a few graduates (OK, quite a few), which is good, but time to dust off the old Hut for those of us who are still barren.

excellant! i know all too well what you mean. try to take it easy tho. how many weeks do you think you are?

congrats feedmenow

that's great news.

I understand as I conceived ds after a m/c

didn't tell a soul - waited until I had the scan pics and then showed everyone I knew.

it worked for me.

My main worry was that all my work colleagues would think I'd got really fat

Or else worry I was always lurking under a shawl.

Take every day as it comes - you will be fine

Congrats FMN - now pass that unwanted vodka my way...ta

(tis nomore here BTW)

Just want to wallow in misery for a bit so I'm in the corner feeling sorry for myself if anyone wants me. Feel poorly today, but for the first time in 18 months my first thought was not "ooh, it might be pg" which made me feel really that I seem to have accepted that it'll never happen (ok maybe not never, but it's not going to happen any time soon)

of course I meant tequila not vodka (though I'll have anything that's going) I have no idea what's going on

Good a bad case of IBM tonight so feeling really sorry for myself

Just had to be pleased about another first month of trying BFP, don't know how much longer I can keep it up (and MM if you venture in here, I'm sorry, it's not personal at all I'm just fed up of my own failing to get pg)
Feel that my body is so useless, pg is meant to be natural so why is it so bloody hard I sometimes wonder how the hell the human race continues - I guess it's all those bloody 15 year olds we keep hearing about

why do they torture us? am staying away from the ttc boards at the mo. no line on ov stick so this month'll be another no go. plus ive only got one tube. that halved my (already slim) chances of having another baby successfully.

I really don't blame you for staying away lissie - if only I had the strength for that. I keep wondering how 'old' friends are doing then find that the threads are all full of new people who get a BFP in 2 mins and bugger off to AN. Why do I do this to myself?

padfoot i have only been ttc properly for 3 months had been being carefree since Jan with only the free months i still know what you mean by the first time lucky newbies even i think not fair and i am only on month 3! well i am 6 DPO and had spotting this morning seems to early for implantation and only managed to BD once! i am sure my body is having a fcking game with me there I was not obsessing not even looking for any signs and it throws me this bolloks! Hay-ho

its so shit. im really low at the moment. im supposed to ov today but no LH surge, none of the normal symptoms. we see the specialist on the 30th and im sick & tired of all this now.

oh lissie its likely your body getting back to normal not much i can say {{{{{lissie}}}}}}

FMN - congrats hope you are ok.

Lissie - , wish there was something helpful I could say, but all I can say is here have this

Padfoot - wish I could be of help, but at least I am not one of them who are first-time successful triers either.

TLSM - so your body is trying to torment you too huh!

Ready - if you need to rant, I am all ears here.

Well I am emotionally still on the rollercoaster, and pleased that I can sit here with all you guys.

FMN, am glad for you.

I hope everyone else is well, or at least better than I am cos I feel like shit.

Hello

Anyone in?

I wondered if I could join you all if there is room!!

I am currently TTC after having a second miscarriage (at 14 weeks) in June. I have a 14 mo DS, but had a first miscarriage (at 9 weeks) before having him.

The first miscarriage was miles worse in a funny way than the second. The second one although I was further on in the pg when it happening, I was much more aware of the process and the reasons etc

So a 1 out of 3 success rate, not brilliant (although I know I am totally and utterly blessed to have one - a long history of severe endometriosis and ovarian cysts meant I was not sure I would ever have a family), and as much as I want to have another baby I am scared stiff about the prospects of another miscarriage.

I got my first AF on the 27th June after having the ERPC on the 4th June. Anyway - enough from me - hope that is a good enough intro, and I really, really look forward to chatting with you all soon

hi joliegirl, always welcome!

Hello there hutters (huttees)

Had my first trip to the hospital today.

It was a bit grim.

All the usual questions. Then had to have a swab for chlymidia. I was tested negative during pg and have hardly been putting it about since ds was born 2 years ago, so ffs.

Esp unpleasant as have ecsema in an embarrassing place - tmi maybe - bit it explains why I found this so horrific.

Have to go back there thurs (cd21) for progesterone tests, then have a scan next week and more tests on day 2 of AF, which I reckon will be Fri.

DH has to wank into a pot and bring it along on thurs - no shags til then

Once all these tests have to have some vile scan which involves squirting dye into your womb.

Really not looking forward to this as they said its like having very bad period pains - though can't be as bad as labour pains, I guess.

then finally get to see the consultant in Oct.

Don't get IVF - if I need it - for free on NHS because I already have one child.

But will get medication.

Am praying that I will get pg (unlikely) between now and then, so I can avoid the whole process.

I want help but am really dreading the process.

Does that sound mental or what?

Fab news FMN and thanks for the regulatory gifts...it was getting a bit dry in here compared with the tent that seemed constantly topped up.

Sorry that I havent been in recently folks -still ttc on cycle 2 billion and 5 I think .. I have been lurking outside the hut just couldnt cope with anything over the past few months cos in limbo land...that waste of space between trying to be hopeful and think you should go on a ttc thread but not hopeful enough so dont want to spoil it all for the happy keen MNs and then not feeling too despondent to sit in the hut cos I really want to try and be positive ...God I hate this situation - mind games were never my forte.

Anyway feeling scared and despondent cos was supposed to do my IVF cycle this month (2nd attempt and final one cos cant cope with the finances and the mental pressure) and I called it off - not ready and said that I would do it in August but August is looming quickly and I will have to make up my mind soon...guess I am terrified of it failing again and then what? I think I will then give up (for those who dont know me I am 45)

Lissie I really admire your courage - I have never been pregnant despite my trying for 8 yrs and now I find myself thinking if I do then it will be 9 months of hell cos I will be terrified of losing it. I just cant imagine how painful that would be and my heart does go out to you.

Dear Duchess - not like you to be so fed up! Whats going on there? Clearly not enough drink in this place - so Im going to dump a truck load of mixed spirits (cos we all seem to need it) and lots of brazil nuts (apparently latest good food for BFP) and will skip the grapefruit juice cos another scientific report is now saying it will give us all breast cancer - so now we have a choice ladies either EWCM or run the gauntlet of the big C. I havent got a clue what to drink anymore so will move over to the virtual alcoholic stuff....
see you later
LNOx

Latenightowl

you sound very down.

But please don't give up.

for what it's worth, most people I know have eventually had a baby after IVF, even th ones who thought it was a complete no hoper.

don't know if this helps at all.

Lucy x

mslucy, had all those tests. the dye one was painful but its over very quickly. make sure you ask to see the results. you also bleed for a few days (like the end of your period) but it cleans you out. dh was v stressed about his pornpot. he didnt even get nhs magazines we're in the same position, one child so no free ivf but we are sueing the bastards so you never know!

ps know what you mean about the chlamydia test. f*ckedc me off too!

LNO, dont blame you for being scared, ivf's a massive emotional & financial gamble, you have to wait til you feel ready!

had mini breakdown yesterday, smacked my hand off the table in temper and think its broken my finger, then sobbed to dh for about an hour about my 6 lost babies. he got pissed off with me for blaming myself but i cant help it. its my body thats wrecking things ffs!

Lissie, LateNightOwl, MsLucy, this is such a hard trial. As always I wish I had some magic words of wisdom/philosophy/spell, but instead all I have is 'Poor you, that's shit.'

MsLucy, I had the HSG (right letters? In our house we call it the pingogram) and it wasn't at all uncomfortable. No worse than a smear. And I didn't have days of gunk either (where did it all go...? ) It's really interesting to see the pictures of the dye flooding t hrough your tubes and out the other end. But then I don't mind injections and stuff, I always watch, so perhaps I'm not normal.

LNO, it must be really tough having to make the decision about IVF. We can't just lie back and see whether it happens either (well, we could, but it wouldn't) and I've been getting closer to the decision to stop trying for a while. Not quite there, but I have had glimpses of how hard it will be. Here's all the luck in the world for your next try. I hope it works. x

Lissie, 6 lost beans is too much for anyone to have to cope with. I'm impressed you're only on ADs - I think I'd have a needle in my arm by now.

impatience. cant even face the ttc boards now. everyones announcing their bfps and im finding it hardto say anything positive or reassuring.

Oh lissie.

forgive me for being a bit crap - I am new here - but 6.

I had one and was for ages.

I think it's amazing you still have your sense of humour and still have the time to give people so much help and support.

Yeah, the BFP stuff is irritating, but it's just part of life.

God, I'm normally much more bitter and twisted than this - what's come over me all of a sudden?

I think what really puts everything into perspective for me is that I met up with an old school friend a fews ago who had two boys (lucky bitch I snarled to myself).

Then she told me that her first child had died when she was only 3 days old, as my friend was breastfeeding her.

Nothing could be worse than that for me.

MsLucy, thats horrendous. The poor woman.

Lissie, I NEVER go on those threads any more. It's rubbing my own nose in it!