TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧

[RedRobin7]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age: 29
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
MC at 6 weeks in July 18
Waiting one cycle before getting back on the bus!

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Morning ladies!

Boboelephant have a great holiday!!! Don't burn your bottom, or feet!

Laney79, littleemma1, good luck with your new cycles!
I hope the counselling is helping Laney.
Littleemma, as Boboelephant said to me a few days ago, we have an amazing ability to feel both joy and sadness about other people's pregnancies. I'm seeing a pregnant friend tomorrow and so far since MC I've managed to avoid being with anyone who's expecting. I'm very happy for her, but as you said, it brings up the sadness for yourself. Stay strong. xxx

Virgo89 Sorry you had a tough day being near the EPU, and your Nan being in hospital. Hugs xxx
You're usually fine to start trying as soon as this AF is over unless stated otherwise by professionals for a specific reason (usually if you've had an ectoptic or other complications), so if you feel ready, jump back on the bandwagon, and best of luck to you.

Blondcat if AF is on the way I hope she doesn't take her sweet time about it; being in that limbo is maddening. On the other hand, I've still got my fingers crossed for you for a little miracle. xxx

RedRobin7 I'm glad your test was negative, but gosh it's hard to see it even so. xxx Hugs xxx
You're totally within your rights to ask for a different counsellor. She shouldn't really be discussing her own issues with you. As you said, finding the right person to talk to is helpful, so don't give up on finding that person for you! Was this the one through work? Can you put in a new request for someone different?

I'm just twiddling my thumbs in the TTW right now. Too early for symptoms. Not feeling hopeful that this is our month so really just counting down to next AF.
As I mentioned above, seeing a pregnant friend tomorrow so a bit nervous about that. Have warned OH that I may find it difficult. He's being very supportive.

Good luck to those in FW and TWW. What are those of you in the limbo zone of AF/early cycle up to to pass the time at the moment?

@RedRobin7
Glad you had a nice time, i can imagine that it was overwhelming. You shouldn't feel guilty though, im sure she understands.
I dont feel the same with babies, iv been around some since mc, and its been ok. Before i always enjoyed meeting new babies etc. However now i find it just a bit depressing, for lack of a better word. Im kinda fed up holding everyone else's baby, be nice to hold my own!
Glad you got a bfn, a bitter sweet moment, but its good your body has 'reset' as awful as that sounds.
Im doing ok, 7dpo. Feeling frustrated with the ttc journey, as we all are i think.

@littleemma1 i know what you mean, i hate that limbo!

@Blondcat 🤞for you

@KnitKitty What dpo are you?

Im 7dpo experiencing alot of fatigue. Had a nap when i got in from work the last two evenings. However not that hopeful this cycle, feeling a bit fed up, its a bit of a never ending merry go round. Wish i could learn to relax about it more.
Started temping this cycle, but thermometer arrived late and after i think i ovulated. So using the last half of cycle as practice.
My temps dont seem very high though generally, hard to make anything out with the first half of cycle missing.

@RedRobin7 @Laney79 yes there was such an eerie silence! 😂 thought mn was down!
@Lilimum4 I know the frustration of being separated during fw! Hopefully the month passes quickly and you're able to focus on doing things that make you happy!
@RedRobin7 yay for bfn! That's a relief - fresh slate you can start again!
Also what kind of councillor brings their own personal issues to a session! Totally unprofessional and unproductive !
@doddlebobs sorry about the opk stress - it can take a while for our bodies to regulate.
When did you start using the CB advanced? Maybe you're just ovulating later than usual!
@Boboelephant enjoy Malta!!!

@Boboelephant how long are you away for?
I know this might be pushing the hippy card a bit too much!
But one of my amazing friends runs a woman's breathing circle - I have not been to one yet but my sister went and she said it was incredibly powerful and uplifting.
It's described as:

Breathwork experience can shift perspective, reveal clarity, boost creativity, transform self-limiting beliefs, restore inner connection and reduce levels of anxiety and stress-related symptoms.
We use the power of the breath, movement, ceremony, song, clearing rituals and sharing to deepen the work, intrinsically tied with elements of fun and humour as we breathe into being together.

If anyone in London fancies giving it a shot let me know- the next one is Thursday 26th July- although I won't be back in time for this one!

@YellowDaffodils86 I'm 6dpo and BORED. Really tired and boobs were tingly yesterday but I think i'm just making it up really. Such a drama queen .

@TedLife we are similar, im 7dpo. Im soo tired. Bbs are senstative and have had tingles at the sides, but thats been there even before ovulation i think.
Im bored too, its dragging. It wasnt until the last 2 days and now another 7 days to wait feels like an eternity

😠😒pampers just send a big fat reminder of what could have been! Screw you pampers. I don't know how i didn't unsubscribe already. Thats hit be a bit harder then expected.

@YellowDaffodils86 I know the feeling hun I got my 25 week one this morning

@Lilimum4 @YellowDaffodils86 I had one a couple of weeks back reminding me I should've been 25 weeks. I know I unsubscribed. Really hit me. Hugs. Xxx

@littleemma1 pleased to have a cycle twin-lets hope we both get our BFPs this month hey? AF is still very heavy -I'm guessing as this is the third since MMC that this is the way it is now. But feel so drained and a bit dizzy at times. Feels like I'm losing 2/3 times the usual (well only had three non pill bleeds since I was 18!) daily amount of blood.

Oh and to top off my morning already feeling rough and low my boss effectively calls me deluded when discussing a story at work. Really feel like just going home and hiding under the duvet. X

@Lilimum4 we could have had babies born at the same time.

@Laney79 I’ve never had a cycle twin 😂
Here’s hoping we get our BFP’s.
I’m still not going to track, but I spoke to DH (seems weird calling him husband now!) and we’re going to make a conscious effort to have sex every 2-3 days max for the whole cycle, and will continue until the end of the year if we haven’t had BFP by then 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
I’m refusing to use my OPK’s, I’m literally just going off ovia.
It’s kinda the SMEP but we’re gonna just try and enjoy sex and see how things go.

I really need to learn to chill. Since the wedding I’ve been so up and down. I cried my eyes out on a couple of occasions to DH on honeymoon about the miscarriage and have done a couple of times since.
I just don’t feel like it’s healthy anymore, does that make sense?
So I’m going to start my meditation again to try and help me chill!!

@YellowDaffodils86 oh yes. Every time it pops up I'm so upset

@TedLife
Amazing how each and every niggle suddenly gets scrutinised under the microscope. Yesterday my twinge was left sided mild pains. Today it is lower back pain (probably from having slept on a mattress on the floor for the past 4 months than anything else). Tomorrow, who knows?!

Sorry for you ladies who got their e-mails. Horrible to be reminded out of the blue like that.

So looks like af is finally making an appearance been feeling a bit crampy this morning then a little spotting now more red but not quite full flow yet sure she will be here before too much longer. At least I am out of limbo on to the next cycle weirdly not too upset as didn't think I was in this month anyway just body playing cruel joke of being late and getting very suspicious symptoms .

Goodluck those currently in the tww need some more good news and bfp's on here soon.

Sorry ladies who got the emails it should definitely be easier to unsubscribe from these things!

Did a HPT this morning, 3 weeks today after D&C and it looked negative but then I squinted my eyes so hard and saw a teeny tiny shadow of faint line. Guess it's not completely negative then?! Got HCG and prolactin blood tests on Monday. Wonder how long to wait for results?!
I sent my complaint to the hospital after the horrific experience when D&C was scheduled and we've got a meeting with them next Wednesday. Will be letting them exactly how I felt on the day and also speak on behalf of all other women that nobody must go through that insensitive crap they put me through!

And just wondering where's everyone based?! Maybe if some of us local unbeknown to us, fancy meeting up in person ?! I'm in Kent and could travel to London as close to it

@Russkispy newcastle so very far from you! 😒
@Blondcat you’ll be at a similar place in your cycle as @Laney79 and me! Xx

@YellowDaffodils86 thanks, I hope my body does pleasantly surprise me sooner rather than later.

@ronniemipperton it's lovely your DH made a fuss over you. I hope you've had a better day today. I managed to do some baking today which I'm pleased about (even if I wished I had a DC to bake with), think it's progress even if I don't want to leave to house still or see people. At least I didn't lie in bed all day or spend all day sleeping on the sofa - I am tired now though, don't think physically I'm properly recovered yet. No idea how long it takes for the body to readjust after mc.

@Laney79 I agree these forums are a real help. I can actually speak to people who understand what I'm going through and say helpful things.

@Russkispy in Essex and work in London.

@YellowDaffodils88, @Laney79 and @lilimum4 I got an email from them too and promptly unsubscribed. Along with unsubscribing from Emma's Diary, Tommys and Start 4 life. Can't believe I was stupid enough to sign up for them i the first place. I should never have signed up for things so early in my pregnancy - jinxed it.

@Russkispy I'm in Hampshire, not sure if anyone is down my way though!

@InDreamland if anything this miscarriage has taught me that there is no such thing as jinxing it. I did everything slowly slowly, not wanting to really admit I was pregnant or plan for the future and it still happened to me. It just wasn't meant to be. Personally I think (or hope) that this MC happened to make me stronger and more prepared for motherhood when it comes around. At least that's how i'm thinking of it and it helps me put a somewhat positive spin on things. I'm a completely different woman now and so much stronger and more capable than I ever imagined I could be.

@InDreamland
Aww don't say that. You didn't jinx it. Awful though it is, nothing you did, didn't do, said, felt, smelled, ate, or subscribed to caused this.

Big big big hugs.

@bobothelephant Have a great holiday!

Just had a baby bomb and don't think I handled it very well. My oldest friend just told me she was pregnant. She didn't know about my mcs and it all just came out in a text convo. I shouldn't have told her that way. I've been meaning to talk to her but she is a single mum with two kids and has a lot on her plate and we live far away from each other. So now I feel bad for dumping that on her in a conversation about her pregnancy among other things that are going on with her - and also bad for myself because I feel sad and jealous about it. Argh.

Maybe the ones are living or working in London, we can meet for a coffee and make it kind of regularly? would anyone be interested?! I'm just so grateful for this thread as Learning a lot from you. And easy to speak to you as you understand. Thank you lovely ladies!
Sorry to hear about BFNs and AFs. I know it's rubbish but the fight is not over yet. Being 42 is not easy and never conceived naturally, I dread to think what is ahead of us in terms of TTC

@doddlebobs I use the CB digital tests. I've also used Boots own with the lines but prefer the digital.

I usually start testing on CD8 as my ovulation can be a wee bit unpredictable and my cycle is still regulating after a couple of endometrial biopsies. I've had times with 6 or 7 days of flashing smiles before the static. I've also had times when it's only been 1 or 2 days. So don't panic if you're having several days of flashy faces, the static will come!

I've also found that I tend to get my best results between 12noon and 2pm but that seems to vary for everyone. I've found that out by testing at various times throughout the day. No one tells you hard it can be to 'catch' your ovulation!