TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧

[RedRobin7]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age: 29
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
MC at 6 weeks in July 18
Waiting one cycle before getting back on the bus!

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@funkyemzie and @ elderflower78 and @canters15 the Frers measure just 6mol of hcg all other tests are 25mol. We have hcg in us all the time but anything over 5mol is considered pregnancy. @funkyemzie I don't think your wasting anyone's time, chemical pregnancy is still pregnancy. But I agree, without this technology we would have been unaware of some pregnancies that ended early. I imagine we'd all have varied feelings as to whether we'd rather know.

@lolacola13 sorry to hear what you're going through that would be very frustrating. I would keep going back to the docs until it's sorted.

@lostmymind26 I had one the same hesrbest but small at 6.4 and lost at 10 weeks. I think though they are literally too small at that stage for accurate sizing and growth fluctuated week by week until 12 weeks which is why they only scan you then. Hope you are feeling ok and looking after yourself.

@starlightmagic sorry to see you here, hope you're doing ok? The bleeding is probably the worst bit as you just have to wait it out.

Another lovely sunny Sunday, BBQ for us our friends are coming with their kids so some playtime for me :) xx

Just working and trying to take my mind off it! Not really doing the trick but got to carry on haven’t we I suppose! Wishing everyone the best of luck x

Hi all- just done another first response- still a line but looks lighter to me than my Friday test
I'd started to convince myself a little bit that this could be happening....does anybody know this....so this is hcg from my mc 5 weeks ago...does that mean I won't have ovulated?
X

@lolacola13 sorry you are going through some uncertain times. Hopefully this one is there to stay.

Well doesn't look like I will be getting my birthday bonk as the itching has ramped up overnight think it may a little worse than first thought . It has been a long time since I have had this and forgot how horrible it is!

losingmymind26 I'm so sorry for your losses. It must be heartbreaking to hear a heartbeat and have concerns. It's ok to hide in the bath, you're grieving and it's all still quite raw. Take good care of yourself 🐧 this is what penguin huddles are for!

lolacola13 After early losses it's understandable you'd feel a bit like you're bracing for a loss. 2 mcs aren't uncommon though (look at everyone here!!) and statistically it's still hugely likely to end in a healthy little one. ❤

I'm visiting a close friend with her 3 mnth old baby. Our due dates were close. I'm so happy for her but my heart is breaking a bit, especially with my initial recurrent miscarriage clinic apt tomorrow.

@Lostmymind26 so sorry for what you have been through. Your reaction is totally understandable. Hope good news is just around the corner for you.
@lolacola13 I totally understand you being scared and assuming the worst but try to relax as best you can. Fingers crossed that all keeps going well on this pregnancy.

So my CB opk started flashing yesterday and again today. Is there any truth in the theory that DH can use up the good sperm so it's best to dtd every other day until static smiley or if DH is up for it you may as well dtd each day? He's super keen but I'm worried he'll be out of the good stuff at the critical time. Lol, I can't believe I'm actually posting these questions

Hi ladies, sorry I’ve not posted on here for a while and sorry to see so many new faces (and that the old ones are still here)
So it seems I’ll be joining you all again. 11 wk scan on Thursday showed baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at 9+6. Unlike last time, I really wasn’t expecting it. Everything was fine at scans at 6 and 8 weeks. Totally heartbroken to have to go through it all again. I’m booked in for medical management tomorrow which is new for me as last time it happened naturally.
Mc at 10 wks in Feb and now at 11 wks is really making me not want to try again as I just can’t go through this again but I so desperately want a sibling for my wonderful ds. Life’s just not fair sometimes.

@newbie21 I've never heard of that before, in fact the opposite he shouldn't store it up... dtd every day if you can from until 2 days after 48 hour static smiley and imyiull be in with a great chance!

@rdn10 so sorry to see you hear again. It's so sad. But sadly it's not uncommon.. many women in this thread had multiple mc's and moved off the board with healthy pregnancies. Look after yourself in the next few days and weeks. Hopefully your body will reciver quickly xx hugs xx

@lgs8987 not sure on your question? Sorry!

@serenaoverjoyed I just started tess too as 3 mc's in a row. Fingers crossed for you. I think I'm hoping they find nothing as then it's just down to Mother Nature xxx

(Whoever the fuck she is messing with my body!) 🤦‍♀️

@rdm10 I haven't posted for a while but have been checking posts occasionally and wanted to reply to you. I am so sorry you've had to go through this all over again. My first MC this year was a MMC after an early scan and hearing the heartbeat and the second was a natural miscarriage. Each miscarriage is just as heartbreaking and no matter how it happens, there's no easier way to deal with it. Please take the time to look after yourself.

Annoyingly people say that one miscarriage is common and two miscarriages is just bad luck and that we should not give up hope. Right now I know it's hard to accept those comments. Life is bloody cruel and it's hard to understand why we have to go through all. We are definitely not alone though and will get through this together. Thinking of you 🐧🐧

Hope everyone else is doing okay today. Congrats on all the BFPs.

Quick update from me - my work feel sorry for me and don't want me to keep taking time off for miscarriages and although the tests aren't available on our current health insurance package, they are investigating what tests are available and how much it all costs and then they will decide whether to pay for it for me. This means I'm now waiting to find out if we're having tests done privately or if we will just start trying again. 3rd time lucky maybe? I feel absolutely lost and broken but I desperately need to know what my future holds so I don't see the point waiting around because I'm never going to feel stronger.

@LJS8987 I'm so sorry lovely, but this sounds like exactly what happened to me- positive frer 6 weeks after d&c. I didn't ovulate and ended up needing to take norethisterone for 3 weeks to restart my cycle, but it worked and I had a period and ovulated 2.5 weeks after that.
I'm sure my body would have worked itself out eventually anyway but my gynae was quite keen on intervention so I went with it.

Hi ladies - I’m having medical management tomorrow and already had the first tablet yesterday. Will be 14 weeks. They said it could take quite a while as I’m further along, dreading it but it has to be done for bub’s sake. Already got a blanket and toy ready for the baby and they said we can hold the baby for as long as we want. We definitely will be, also getting handprints and footprints. It’s going to be a long, hard day but I know it’s for the best. Thank you all for your lovely words ❤️

@rdm10 I’m so so sorry. It’s just so unfair. I totally understand what you’re going through as I’m going through basically the same thing right now so if you need to talk I’m right here 💕 I’m also having medical management tomorrow, I hope it goes as easily as it can for both of us. It’s cruel that we’re both back here yet again, sending you hugs and strength for tomorrow

@hayleyfx I'm not sure if I've said anything to you recently but I have been thinking about you a lot. There's not a lot anyone can say to make you feel better but I am so sorry you are going through this heartbreaking time. I hope you are getting lots of support from family and friends xx

@hayleyfx oh hun. I'm catching up on what's been going on and I'm so sorry . I remember you from the other board . Sending hugs and kisses and lots of strength for tomorrow xoxoxoxoxo

I’m so sorry @rdm10

Will be thinking of you tomorrow @hayleyfx

I’ve finally got a positive opk.

@hayleyfx thinking of you and oh these next few days. Glad you managed to find the courage to take the first step with the first tablet. Middle of the huddle for you xxx

@lilaciris good news your body is moving forward :) x

@funkyemzie it's so tough isn't it. Good luck on Tuesday. Once the bleeding has stopped and the hcg levels are going down, do you think you will try again straight away or wait a while?
My bleeding is very very light now, not quite stopped yet. Hate sitting wondering when I will next ovulate, I think of the best case scenario and the worst. My head is all over the place.
Every time I go out I see pregnant bumps everywhere! Even my dp has been looking at bumps while we are out...i think it's hit him hard as well. I've never saw him cry apart from when we announced our pregnancy and when we untold our family.
It truly is awful. I find it hard been out in public shopping etc....it sounds daft but I just need quiet and peace at the moment.

@hayleyfx sending you loves & hugs & will be thinking of you tomorrow x

@rdm10 so sorry that you’re going through this again x

Hi ladies, sorry not been around much this week.

I'm thinking of you hayleyfx you're being so brave and strong. I can't imagine what you're going through at the moment, but we're all here for you. Just take each minute as it comes and know that you're doing the right thing. xxxx

So sorry Funkyemzie that this one wasn't meant to be. Huge hugs xxx

rdm10 my heart breaks for you, I'm so sorry this has happened again. Huge penguin hugs! xxx

Hello to frankiefumbles, LJS8987, Canters15, starlightmagic, lostmymind26, lolacola13

Tentative congratulations doddlebobs and Purplefushia. Permission to be super excited for you both??

Hugs VIcky90 sounds like you've got a good plan. I hope the lifestyle changes help. xxx

Jessabean how are you doing?

TinyPaws Hoping you're doing OK and that you're not going insane having to wait until October. If I could click my fingers and give you a healthy pregnancy I would do. xxx

Hi Boboelephant I could be better to be honest, but I'm OK.

I'm sorry if I've missed anyone (I know I have but haven't got it in me to reply to everyone individually today.) I'm thinking of those of you having a tough time and routing for those of you in FW or TTW. Fingers crossed and baby dust for all of you.

I'm having a bit of a tough time at the moment, truth be told.
Period finally arrived a week late yesterday. I'm glad it came because I can move on to the next cycle now and knew I wasn't pregnant, but I'm just feeling very 'nothing's going my way'ish at the moment and I hate feeling so miserable. OH mentioned today that it's affecting our relationship (my job and stress with that isn't helping either). So trying to get some balance back and may not be on here as much as I feel I need more time just trying to focus on other things for a while.
I will be dropping by regularly though.

Hugs to those who need it. xxx

@hayleyfx thinking of you babe. And everyone from the other group sends their love. They were all asking if you were ok. Sending massive hugs.

Anyone else London based wanna meet up?? Once we've got all peeps then we can sort out a date. Xx

@knitkitty sorry you are struggling at the moment glad af finally showed up at least you know where you are now. Hugs if you need them xx

Hi everyone, sorry about the rant last night I couldn't sleep and just wrote everything in my brain and that just kind of came out.

@rdm10 and @hayleyfx you are in my thoughts and hope everything goes as well as can be expected lovelies, we are all here if you need to get anything out of your heads too.

@Elderflower78 thank you hun. I haven't stopped bleeding yet even the doc asked me if I was sure I had my dates right because she seemed to think I am further along than I thought. Last month I ov'd on cd8 and I had a 1.5 day bleed which totally isnt normal but my tests were definately negative. I'll get last week's results on Tuesday so I suppose we'll see.

I know what you mean about the baby bumps, can't stop staring, I'm sure folk think I'm a stalker or something. Not sure if we might miss this month but see what docs say. My temps are still quite high and haven't dropped at all so don't know what to make of that.

@hayleyfx and @rdm10 - thinking of you both at this difficult time.

congratulations to those who have BFPs - sorry and welcome for those new members. The group is really great for support.

Hugs to all of those with the recent arrival of AF. Some of you girls are warriors to keeping ploughing on with this journey and supporting others

Ladies - I have a technical question. Apologies in advance for the TMI. This is first cycle TTC post MMC. Amazingly all seems to have slipped right back into my normal pattern - AF 30 days after MC, and positive OPK on CD14. Today I am CD15 - we have been following the SMEP plan since CD8.

Everything has seemed normal except my CM which is somewhat absent until this evening when I have some EWCM. DTD this morning and yesterday morning but was quite dry (apols TMI), now I have EWCM should I dtd again this evening or will tomorrow morning suffice? My OH is 46 so am not sure how good the swimmers are and if less might be more? :-)

Have to say in this heat DTD has felt a little bit of a chore!

Also for the first month have had what I think is cramping in my right ovary for about 24 hours. I'm not sure if this is new since MC or if I now am just so obsessed with ovulation I have noticed? I do think I might be going slightly mad, and after a week off might be a blessing to go back to work tomorrow for the distraction during 2ww.

Sorry for the long post x

Hello ladies
I'm just catching up today after a small absence.
I'm so sorry to hear the sad news about mc' and the bfn's life really is not fair.

Welcome newcomers and sorry you find yourself here, this group is lovely and so supportive.

I've decided that I do not trust my body at all. We are on a month off trying. I still tracked ovulation and that happened 16 days ago ff confirmed. I've had every early pg symptoms I've ever heard of and I'm also late. I'm never late.

This TTC stuff is starting to unhinge me lol

@rdm10 and @hayleyfx thinking of you both and so so sorry you are going through this. I hope you are getting all the support you need. Huddle is here for you both xx