TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧

[RedRobin7]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age: 29
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
MC at 6 weeks in July 18
Waiting one cycle before getting back on the bus!

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@funkyemzie I am so very sorry, if you feel you will benefit from staying off tomorrow I think you should do it. Means you also have the weekend to huddle up.

@purplefuschia congratulations. Wonderful news.

@doddlebots congratulations.
at what stage will you have your scan? could it be the difference between it being too early to see anything?

I got my static smiley on CBD on cd24. AF is due cd34. Does anything else have such a short 2nd phase? Would you wait until a certain number of days have passed before testing if AF doesn't show? xx

So sorry to read @Funkyemzie thinking of you and glad you are surrounded by lovely fam x
@hayleyfx absolutely horrified to read back and discover your latest, beyond sorry for you, can't believe it. Your attitude is amazing but still thinking of you hard. Also (finally!) in Scotland, if you need an in person hug do not hesitate.
@boboelephant you poor love. You are so wonderful. As so many have said, you give so much support and PMA and lord knows you deserve some good news. Think it is excellent to take the "it's OK not to be OK" line, because it is. Thinking of you and praying that it is your turn soon. And if you and @cakelaur are doing the IRL thing, pleeease can I come, and can we make it an old cheese thing (aged comte rather than mouldy cheddar) in honour of our thread.
@bobzybaby, there's an app called Fertility Friend that was far too user unfriendly and scientific for me to engage with aside from an excellent facility called "lightbox" that allows you to invert, grayscale and line read any test - and best of all it is supposedly only available free for a month long trial and then paid, but they never charged me.
thank you v much @robin78 hope you are OK? Glad you are having a lovely hol, good luck for back end of 2ww x

Very very sorry to read experiences of new joiners, you have found a wonderful thread for tackling the next phase.

@doddlebobs @Jessabean @Maydot @PurpleFushia I've bitten the bullet, here's a spring 2019 grads thread for anyone feeling brave enough / wanting to take the first tri dialogue off this thread, all welcome obviously x

I had my blood test today. Hcg was 69 when I had the first done and it's only gone down to 62 so they want to see me back on Saturday.

I'm not bleeding very much. I started bleeding Wednesday night and today it's like a light period. I have passed small clots mainly when I pee though. I was only 4 weeks.
I just want this over with so I can move on. Thought I felt better emotionally to say. Dh has gone for a deserved pint after asking if I felt ok with it. I've crumbled now he's out and I feel angry and lonely. I'm all over the place.

@Boboelephant yes its so frustrating, but thanks, hopefully it becomes clearer soon. It is driving me mad though.
I know 8months is long in ttc world and after you have been through do much already. But you never know what next month will bring.
I can understand why you feel down about it at times though. 💐

@Laney79 getting stressed wont help you with your ttc success, try not to obsess too much, although i know its hard.
The scary thing is we cant really control any of it. You could be doing it all perfectly and still not get that bfp, and then next month not be so good and suddenly there it is. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself and take a deep breath.
Hope time away helps.

@Funkyemzie im so sorry. Glad the fresh air did you good

@hayleyfx it's annoying the hospital are being so incompetent. You are doing so amazingly well.

@doddlebobs there is definitely something ekk..

@Jessabean thank you, iv no idea what's going on. So annoying.

@dreaminofholidays😂dtd in an oven
What you say is so true, I think they realise the half of it!

@PurpleFushia congratulations 🤞happy hethy and sticky!

haleyfx I'm shocked and saddened to read what happened. You are incredibly courageous. I'm so sorry.

Elderflower78 I had this a few months ago at around 4 weeks. I found bleeding came it bursts and my hcg did go down, it just took time. It's shit being in limbo! It's ok to crumble, you're just expressing your very valid grief about what's happened. Do something nice for yourself while dh has a pint

funkyemzie I would take the day off. I haven't taken this advice with early mcs and have regretted it. Sorry about today.

Hi everyone ... I was on here before but things move so quickly in a month. It’s so sad to see people are still having a hard time 🙁

Anyway... after my 2mmc at the end of June I went back to the drs today to ask about sticky blood...I was basically stonewalled unless I want to pay private... so me and the OH have agreed private isn’t the way and we are going to ttc again 🤞

I started smoking again after my last loss so I’m planning a 3 month stop smoking, pre-conception vitamins and diet plan. Just wondering if anybody knows of any recommended diets to support healthy eggs:fertility?

Ps congratulations to those who have had bfp!

@Funkyemzie so sorry to hear your news. Definitely take the day off.

Congratulations to those with BFPs. Fingers crossed for sticky beans.

I'm CD 12 (Friday) and having a shocker on the first attempt at opk-ing. I have a 27/28 day cycle so should have started testing day 9/10 so I did on day 9 and nothing then did on day 10 and nothing but did it v late as was at work late. Worked late again tonight and forget this morning. I've still dtd on cd 8, 10, 11 so think I will just have to do a marathon this month as I'm probably going to miss ovulation on the tests - will keep trying. I think my cm got heavier today so maybe I'm getting ready to ovulate... who knows. Will try and get testing on track again.

Hi ladies, opk question - I'm cd 12 of a 27/28 day cycle and no flashing smiley. When are you meant to get flashing smileys before the static smiley?

Hi @Newbie21 I did the cb advanced digital for the first time last month and had similar concerns. It took until cd17 I think to get one had that for 5 days and then static on day23! I think cycles post mc can be very varied. Mine were 28,28,35 and according to flow af is due on 40 this time after the late ovulation. Keep testing is all I can advise and hopefully your ov is just late this month. I think I actually preferred the cheapies as at least you didn't feel bad about testing days on end! I don't think I'd bother with the advanced again because it's so expensive if your cycle turns out to be extra long!

If any ladies in the London area would like to meet up. For reals.... I'd defo be up for it. Obviously I have a bump now and totally understand if no one wants that rubbed in their face. But I can hide it real good. So @PassTheAfterEights and @Boboelephant and anyone else... we could start a WhatsApp group if you like? DM me (let me know you've done it though cos I'll have to log onto the computer) and I can start it.

The offer is there to anyone who needs a hug or a rant in real life. Old cheeses new cheeses.

@Laney79 I'm so sorry that it is all feeling too much at the moment. The other ladies have given great advice and I agree. I think you need to try and take the pressure off both you and DH. Focus on your relationship and enjoying each other. Remember that's how you got pregnant in the first place. If you take a break I hope it helps and remember we are all here when you need us.
@Funkyemzie oh hun I'm so so sorry. It's all just so unfair. I have no words except we are all here and everything crossed for a sticky bean for you soon. Glad you had some nice time with your family yesterday. Definitely take some time off and recuperate.
@hayleyfx you really are remarkably strong. I can't even begin to imagine. I am glad you are enjoying your little bean and making memories. Sending you all my strong vibes.
@Jessabean thankyou lovely. Feeling ok now, think I'm 2dpo. So the wait begins.
@doddlebobs that's not even a squinter, I could see it without zooming! Congratulations, hope it gets darker! And yes, tell them you know you ovulated late and they will adjust your timings. LMP is just a guideline.
@frankiefumbles I know how you feel. I got tests done and gynae was keen to point out several times that now I'm 35 I'm ancient etc. Meanwhile DH who is 36 is fine as he had DS. I was like so did I! Hope you fall soon.
@dreaminofholidays 'who wants to DTD in a bloody oven' 😂😂😂 this made me chuckle.
@PurpleFushia congratulations!!! Hope it's a sticky one for you!
@Martydog I agree, apps are just a guess. Looks like ovulation is still coming. @YellowDaffodils86 thanks love. How are you feeling today?
@KnitKitty How are you hun?
@PassTheAfterEights aww thanks hun. And yes!!!! Of course you should come. @Cakelaur let's do it. 🧀🧀

Gosh, catching up again, this thread really moves fast.

@funkyemzie - I'm so sorry, sending you hugs! I hope you've taken today off and being looked after.

@Elderflower78 I recognise you from the pregnancy loss/miscarriage threads. So sorry again that you find yourself here. Hugs for you too!

@hayleyfx sending you lots of hugs too! Hope you can get all the support you need. It's such a terrible time

@boboelephant I hope you're feeling better today. It's a horrid journey we're all on, a journey noone should have to take. Hugs!

Hope evwryone else having a hard time at the moment is getting support and being looked after.

Congrats to those with BFP again (pretty sure I've missed out some congrats - sorry). Fingers crossed you have nice healthy pregnancies and never have to go through this again.

I'm going to chase up my counselling today as still waiting for a counsellor to be assigned to me and I'm so desperate. I need to talk to a professional. I'm still up and down and dreading going back to work next week. Not sleeping very well and still having weird and vivid dreams - think that's all my anxiety over the mc.

@Cakelaur Noooo I'm literally in London but only for the day and have a family thing to go to 😭 Let me know if there's any more meets though!

Some of the stories on here are very inspirational. You all have so much strength and your positivity shines through. I'm still getting used to names on here so bare with me.
I can't believe what some of the ladies on here have been through....yet have the strength and courage to try again.

I'm meant to meet a friend for a walk and a cuppa later but she just texts saying she doesn't fancy a walk and just wants to go for coffee...i think I'm going to cancel, I need a walk and not sure I can face hussle and hussle in cafes yet.
I feel so irritable today. My other friend told me she was 11 weeks yesterday after telling her of my miscarriage. I think I felt my heart break.

@doddlebobs thank you so much for your response. That is super helpful, makes me feel so much better.

@Cakelaur hey hun I'd be up for a London meet i'll dm you 💁🏻‍♀️

This thread moves so quickly that I struggle to keep up but I do constantly check in and am thinking of you all.

@Elderflower78 preganncy announcements are so horrible. I feel like I am being bombed with them at the moment.

Depending where in London, I would also be up for that.

I hope everyone is having an ok week. I’ve got several signs of imminent ovulation but no positive test yet. Hopefully it won’t be long.

If anyone wants to be updated with the London meet ups, let me know and I'll add you to the WhatsApp group. :)

@cakelaur I’m up for a meet up. Will try & work out how to dm you

So this happened this afternoon...I'm 5 weeks post mc...I had a negative (Tesco) result 10 days ago....could it be a new pregnancy???

@LJS8987 it could be but please be careful. I did loads of 25mui dip tests and all were negative not a single drop of colour, I did a frer and got a blazing positive and im defo not pregnant was just left over hormones. Fingers crossed for you xxx

Thanks @xJune88 I'm trying my hardest not to get my hopes up...going to leave it a few days and take another and see if the line gets stronger x

Good idea hope it's a new pregnancy! Xx

Hey ladies do you have room for one more?

I'm currently ttc dc 2. Dc 1 was born in 2016 after 5 months of trying. We began trying for dc2 in March of this year expecting it to take a while- as a result i was Super relaxed- and boom! Pregnant straight away. Sadly lost the baby to Turner's syndrome at 10 weeks at the start of May (and had HG during the pregnancy- a double whammy of crap).

It's taken ages to get my body back to baseline, I had to have some treatment to restart periods and so am only in cycle 1 of trying again. Currently 6dpo and am going absolutely crazy.

I'm really beating myself up because I'm sure the quick conception last time was due to being so relaxed, and now I am not relaxed at all, I'm thinking about pregnancy constantly and even took an IC this morning which was obviously negative. In addition everyone and their dog is currently pregnant or has recently had their second and I just feel so miserable and alone.

I don't think this month is our month, and am hoping at some point I'll relax a bit. Bloody hell though it's hard. Any tips?

Anyway that's me, just needed to talk to people who get it.

@InDreamland thanks hun. I am feeling better now. Planning my DS's birthday party so that's keeping me busy! I hope you got your counselling sorted. That makes sense as our unprocessed thoughts often come out in our dreams as we let out mental guard down as we sleep. It can be really useful to work through these in therapy.
@Elderflower78 sending hugs. Pregnancy announcement are so hard. I feel like I've been bombed with about a thousand of them this year. Just do what you can and be kind to yourself.
@LJS8987 I hope it is a new pregnancy but it is hard to tell as a frer is so much more sensitive than the tesco one so could be leftover hcg. I'd test again using the tesco brand that you got your negative one on. Good luck!
@Canters15 welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard as so many of us on here were super relaxed until we had a loss and then it's very hard to get back to that relaxed state. I definitely haven't achieved it yet and the longer it takes I get more stressed (I'm coming up to 2 years of trying with 2 losses though). I try and do things that relax me and also try and not just focus everything around ttc. So I'll do yoga and meditation and try to jks throughout cycle so DH doesn't just feel jumped a few days every month. Also book holidays and date nights and enjoy my DS and DH and try not to put everything on hold just 'in case' we fall. I hope this isn't a long journey for you but if it is we are all here to help.