TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧

[RedRobin7]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age: 29
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
MC at 6 weeks in July 18
Waiting one cycle before getting back on the bus!

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Congratulations @funkyemzie!

@KnitKitty, sounds hopeful! I'd say test x

@Funkyemzie congratulations! Everything crossed for a sticky bean!

@KnitKitty the unknown phase is awful! If you're able to hold off until morn that would maybe be best? However, you gotta do what feels right to you. Everything crossed!

@KnitKitty thank you!
@Funkyemzie congratulations! Here's to healthy pregnancy!
@KnitKitty I'd wait till the next morning to be absolutely sure and hopefully AF stays away!! Fingers crossed!
@robin78 happy holidays!

@Funkyemzie woohoo congratulations!! No denying that!!
@KnitKitty I'll be the devil voice.... test test test. 👹😂 as you're late, it doesn't need to be fmu! All sounds very promising!!!!

how do people avoid going crazy with symptom spotting?! I'm feeling a bit nauseated this morning and don't want tea which is unusual for me, but I'm only 16 days post mc starting so I wouldn't think I would have symptoms even if I had managed to conceive already. Plus last time around I had no symptoms at all in the 2WW. Argh!

Ah @Funkyemzie so pleased for you!! Congrats-and fingers crossed for a sticky bean.

@KnitKitty the unknown is so hard-but also great because of the hope! If you can I'd wait till tomorrow fmu to test...but it's so hard isn't it! Sending oodles of positive thoughts your way xx

@robin78 happy Hols-where are you off to?

I'm starting to feel a bit more positive again. Last week or so has been so tough, all smallish things (bar my birthday I guess) that on their own wouldn't have been too bad but together it felt awful. But Friday I felt a bit better, and yesterday I had my reflexology treatment. My therapist (trained in fertility reflexology) says it feels like my ovaries and pituitary gland are nice and active as she'd expect pre-ov (I'm cd11 today) and the signs are my uterus lining is thickening-little bit more than usual at this cycle stage but nothing to worry about. So as well as being lovely and relaxing that made me feel better. And when I got home OH was waiting for me and keen to give me my BBB (belated birthday bonk!) so that was lovely. Feels a bit more like he's on board with FW so fingers crossed it continues.

I love the idea of trying to be positive and not thinking about "last time" -sorry can't remember who posted it. I keep thinking about "last time" I fell pregnant and how did it happen, when did we dtd, what symptoms did I have (very difficult as we weren't "trying" we were just not stopping it from happening so not tracking anything other than when we made love!) -but you're absolutely right-if it happens again, it's a whole new possibility and could be so very different. Going to try and remember that. Along with the sentiment that if I am lucky enough to catch again I'm going to try my best to enjoy it, however long it lasts. Happy Sunday ladies xxx

Yay! @Funkyemzie Congratulations preggo buddy! No doubting that's a definite darkening lineal you probs just had a late implanter! 🤗

Ahhh @KnitKitty this is sounding very promising! I so hope for you that this is it! 🤞 Up to you when you test really. As @Boboelephant at one day late even in evening esp with FRER should be positive (providing not ridiculously dilute urine)! But if for peace of mind you'd rather use FMU to avoid false negative maybe wait till tomorrow morning. Ah I'm so excited for you! Will be so awesome if we can go through this next phase of journey together!

Thanks ladies.

Morrisons didn't have any FRER this morning so I've just got the bog standard Clear Blues. (Never used these ones before). There are two tests in the pack so I think I might suggest to OH we use one tonight and if inconclusive try again in the morning. It does say on it that you can test any time of day if AF due date has been and gone but not to drink too much beforehand so might try not to glug lots of water this afternoon.

I'm a bag of nerves right now. Going to do some mediation and lots of knitting today to try and stay calm.

So far this morning I've managed to convince myself that I've got a cyst which is causing the uterus sensations and that I never ovulated earlier in the month and it's probably ovulation pain! Sigh.

OH is out today until about 5pm. I would probably have POAS by now if he was home...

Lovemysparkle I love the message about thinking of a new pregnancy as a fresh start and not to think of "last time". I think it's a good way to handle it.
It's tricky, because I don't want to dishonour my first bean by pretending it never happened, but at the same time I think it's good to go into a new pregnancy as though it didn't for sanity's sake.

Hugs Funkyemzie it's a nerve wracking time. But my mum always told me that nerves are just excitement in disguise.

crazyhorseylady it's sooo hard not to symptom spot. With having the MC so recently as well your hormones are likely to be a bit all-over the place, so things like feeling sick could just be that or ovulation?
What I do is write down symptoms when I feel them and then put it from my mind, so I don't keep thinking about it. (I find writing things down allows them to leave my brain more readily.) That way I can also look back and compare symptoms from one cycle to the next and see if I've had something recurrently at a certain time in my cycle. I try to see symptoms spotting as getting know my cycle and body rather than them being about pregnancy. But it is easier said than done. Hugs xxx

Laney79 I'm glad you're feeling more positive again! Reflexology is so relaxing.

Boboelephant You devil, you! So, back in the UK now? Nice to see Britain greeted you with its usual good old weather or wind and rain just to make you feel at home again!

Jessabean It would be cool if we were both preggo at the same time. How are things for you at the moment? Getting any symptoms?

@Funkyemzie woo there it is! Congratulations!!

@Boboelephant haha, im with her@KnitKitty test! However i am the proud owner of 3bfns this month so understand not wanting risk a disappointing bfn! 🤞though!
@Boboelephant thanks for the hopefulness, however bfn again today at 16dpo and i can feel AF rumbling on the horizon 😒
Frustrated and disappointed but there you go, is what it is.

Hello to everybody! Be strong those who are in tww! Step away from google!😂
JKS FW people!
Need some BFPs our way!

@funkyemzie yay congratulations fx for a sticky bean and a happy and healthy pregnancy x

@knitkitty fx for you. I would say depends on the sensitivity of the test frer would be fine later as long long enough hold otherwise I would leave it to fun tomorrow.

Lovely to see all of the BFP's and hope on here. Congratulations to you all (I am on the laptop and find it much harder to do names than the app). Fingers crossed to those also waiting to test - baby dust to you all.
I am CD7 today, and think we are going to try and follow SMEP this month. Welcome any tips? This is our first cycle post MC, so aren't overly hopeful but you've got to be in it to win it, and actually OH is quite keen :-)
Hope you are having a good day all, and hope the BFP's keep coming xx

Ahh I'm so excited to see the BFPs popping up in the thread. I'm so happy for you all and it gives me hope. I'm 8dpo and still no real symptoms to speak of except the occasional pang and achy boob. Sorry TMI but I have a 'wet' feeling and a little cm here and there but I know none of these are solely preggo symptoms. Trying not to fall through down the symptom spotting rabbit hole as I promised myself I wouldn't this month......

Congrats on the BFPs! So happy for you guys ❤️ @KnitKitty I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you :)

I’m 10dpo and of course couldn’t resist testing although I know it’s too early. The test area couldn’t have been any whiter! Oh well, I’ll try again in a few days if af doesn’t arrive..

Hope everyone’s having a good Sunday xx

@Bobzybaby thank you for the advice! I’ll have a look at their website. I’m also in Scotland but if I have to travel then I definitely will x

@Yukka ah right, I’m starting to think it might be a chromosomal problem but with me maybe which is worrying me even more. I’ll have to look into what they can do. Thank you for the advice and well wishes!

@Jessabean ooh I think I’ll have to get that book! It’ll save me from obsessively googling this stuff and probably getting some wrong information 🙈 Thank you for the advice hun!

@zarala thank you for the advice and also for your lovely words 💕 I expected the testing to be quite limited on the nhs, I’ll have to look into it further and see what to do. Dr Shehata although controversial does sound very good. Just a pain that I live so far away!

@Funkyemzie congratulations! I hope you have a very sticky bean 🤞

Thank you again ladies for all your well wishes. I had a bit of a freak out this morning and refused to go ahead with the termination when talking about it. I kept insisting that the doctors could be wrong and the baby could miraculously be okay. I’ve come to my senses now but I keep having these panics. It just feels so wrong, I’m almost 13 weeks and quite noticeably pregnant now. I can’t imagine not being pregnant anymore but I know that I can’t continue with this. I’m scared that I’m going to get to the hospital and refuse to take the tablets - my mind is just too all over the place to think straight and trust that I’ll do what’s sensible 🤦‍♀️

hayleyfx what you're experiencing emotionally sounds completely understandable and normal for someone in your situation.
Has the hospital offered any emotional support or directed you to someone you can talk to about this as you're going through it?
Huddle hugs xxx

@hayleyfx oh hun I agree that it sounds totally understandable. How can anyone know how to react and be in such an unfair situation. Feel every panic and moment of grief as you need to and then try and let that moment go and focus on the next one. There is no right way to experience grief. You just have to let it come. I'm sure that your OH will be with you holding your hand and getting you through the moment when you have to go in. You can do this love. I agree with @KnitKitty though, definitely find out if the hospital has someone to help you through this. Sending you hugs. ❤❤🐧🐧🐧

I read this today and thought I'd share. I know quite a few of us- me included- have our anxiety about getting older. Of course this is normal as unfortunately it is not ideal when TTC. However as we are all trying not to let TTC take over every aspect of our lives I thought this was a good message. Hope some of you like it! 😊

In each stage of life, there are wonderful experiences one can savor and valuable insights one can absorb. Every new decade and, in fact, every new year brings with it wisdom, transformation, and growth, as well as ends and beginnings. Many people, however, believe that there is one age that eclipses the others. They expend energy trying to reach it and, once it has passed, trying to retain it. But wishing to be younger or older is a denial of the joys that have been and the joys yet to be, as well as the beauty of your life in the present. Holding on to one age can make it difficult to appreciate each new milestone you reach. Taking pleasure in the delights of your age, whether you are in your 20s, 40s, 60s, or 80s, can help you see the magnificence and usefulness of the complex seasons of your life.

Each new year gifted to us by the universe is replete with exciting and unfamiliar experiences. In our 20s, we can embrace the energy of youth and the learning process, knowing it's okay to not have all the answers. As we move through our third decade, we grow more self-assured as the confusion of our young adulthood melts away. We can honor these years by putting aside our fears of aging and concentrating instead on solidifying our values and enjoying our growing emotional maturity. In our 40s, we become conscious of the wisdom we have attained through life experience and are blessed with the ability to put it to good use. We are not afraid to explore unfamiliar territory or to change. In our 50s, we tend to have successfully navigated our midlife reevaluations and have prioritized our lives. In the decades beyond, we discover a greater sense of freedom than we have ever known and can truly enjoy the memory of all we've seen and done.

Try to enjoy the age you are at now, for each age presents its own unique wisdom to savor

Massive congrats @Funkyemzie that's a definite bfp there!!

@KnitKitty eek... how exciting. Sounds like it could be your month! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Woohoo! What a wonderful thread
Congrats @Funkyemzie !!! Just goes to show that a bfn doesn't always mean bfn!
Fx for an easy and happy pregnancy!

@Laney79 so happy to hear you're feeling more positive and enjoy your BBB! Lol

@KnitKitty I just landed back in the U.K. today too and yes it really was like coming back home 😭

@fnej01Hey I'm cd6 so right behind you! We're also going to do smep this month! Although I've been away from DH for almost a month now and I think he's looking for marathon reunion! Gonna try and hold him off so we don't burn out at the crucial time!

@hayleyfx there are some tests for chromosome issues- I think it's called kareyotyping and they test both you and your partner. Not sure if nhs do it...
I know women who've travelled from all over the world for dr s. There's an MN thread dedicated to him with so many positive stories - how many MCs have you had? ( sorry if you've mentioned before)
With regards to you going back and forth about the termination- I went through very similar in my second MMC- I just couldn't believe that the heart had stopped. I couldn't accept it. I did a lot of meditating and tried to tell my body to let go of the pregnancy. I thankfully started bleeding the day I was scheduled to take the pills for medical management. If I hadn't started bleeding naturally I don't think I would have taken the pills! I just couldn't digest the reality that it was over. I know your circumstance is much harder than mine (in many ways) but I really can empathise with how you're feeling. Wishing you lots of strength and sending hugs 💐
Also I echo everything @Boboelephant says about grief 💕

Also @Boboelephant love that ! So true !

Urgh.

Biggest fattest negative ever seen by man kind.

Really upset.

@KnitKitty 😔 I'm so sorry! Was getting excited for you!!! How many dpo are you ?

13DPO but usually get AF 12DPO and haven't had usual period symptoms at all. Really felt hopeful. I feel even worse for getting OH's hopes up for nothing. He seemed really excited and looked at the test before me.

Oh @KnitKitty I'm sorry...any chance it's just too early? @Cakelaur didn't get a BFP until cd15 from memory? I don't want to give false hope, but it is still early xxx

@knitkitty sorry for the bfn and limbo. Still keeping everything crossed for a late implanter otherwise af to hurry up and stop messing with you

@KnitKitty when I got pregnant with my son, I didn’t get a BFP until 16dpo. I’m hoping it’s just to early for you🤞xx