TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧

[RedRobin7]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age: 29
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
MC at 6 weeks in July 18
Waiting one cycle before getting back on the bus!

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@hayleyfx so sorry to hear your news penguin hugs

Oh @hayleyfx , my heart bleeds for you x so sorry for your terrible news, it's so unfair ! But I'd definitely say, hold onto the baby for as long as you can ! And enjoy every precious moment! After my MC baby was estimated to be 9 weeks but I'm sure it was longer as it was fully formed still in the sac and we kept the baby wrapped in a Muslin next to us for three nights! I am so appreciative of that time and I can still remember the smell of the baby in my bedroom now x take care and I'm sure we will all be thinking of you over the next few weeks xx sending you virtual hugs xx

@hayleyfx, I’m so sorry to hear it! Just so glad you’ve got your amazing partner there too look after you. Sending big penguin hugs 💐💐💐

Awh @hayleyfx I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's devastating. I'm glad you've got such a supportive husband to be there with you. Take your time doll and we'll all be here to support you 💐 x

I'm so sorry to read this Haley, there are no words.... only, that in time you will heal and be ready to face things again x

@Funkyemzie 🤞for a darker line in a few days.
@Jessabean thats a good line! Exciting! How do you feel? Congratulations. X

@TedLife ah sorry, im not far behind.

@Boboelephant that look so sore!

@SunshineSparklesSmiles
Good luck for a bfp, hope you dont get too tww crazy!

@robin78 happy birthday 🎁 glad you felt some positivity.

@RedRobin7 sorry you feel low and things hard. 💐

@hayleyfx i am so sorry, i really feel devastated for you. I cant imagine how you feel. You are so brave to get through this.
Im glad dh is there for you. We are all here whenever you need us.

14dpo, stark bfn! Af due today! So im out.
She will turn up soon. Tearful and miserable. Dh doesn't seem to give a toss ethier.

@hayleyfx I am so sorry, I was hoping it would be something else. This happened to another teacher at school and she has been having counselling, which she says has helped. Please stick around.

@hayleyfx so so sorry. Glad your dh sounds so lovely and supportive to be there for you. Sending you love and hugs xxxx

@hayleyfx- I am so sorry ❤️ Keep on being you sweetheart you are an amazing person & so is your dh❤️

@hayleyfx how incredibly awful for you. Please stick around for support as and when you need it. DH sounds like a goodun. I hope you are able to help each other through such a harrowing time but we are all here for you to vent if you need to. Big hugs.

I'm crushed for you @hayleyfx, so sorry and sad to hear this is happening to you. I found it comforting (but also sad, overwhelmingly so) to think that all these lost babies ever know is love.

@YellowDaffodils86 sorry about AF and that dh isn't appreciating how awful it is each time that happens. You will feel better tomorrow.

6dpo ish for me, symptom spotting already and trying not to. Biggest one so far was really not feeling like a drink yesterday (!) evening but also feeling every little niggle down there. This is so all consuming isn't it.

Oh @hayleyfx I’m so sorry, such sad news.

@doddlebobs I'm 7dpo today and trying my best (and failing) not to symptom spot. I'm trying not to set my heart on this month being our successful month but deep down I know I want it to be so badly.

I keep thinking about testing early but after the heartache of the previous false positives from my leftover hcg post MMC I know I can't allow myself to. I've decided against buying anymore FRERs as they are the only tests which picked up my remaining hcg the month after my ERPC. I bought a CB early result online last night when I forgot myself for a minute so that will have to go in the back of the drawer when it arrives.

@hayleyfx I am so sorry. No words with right this. It's so awful and so unfair. I was praying it was just a mistake a few days ago ao you wouldn't have to go through this. Sending massive hugs. It's lovely that they'll let you hold him/her. That way You and your other half can truly say goodbye. My thoughts are with you. Can't stop thinking about it actually. I know you'll get your rainbow one day. This baby was just too special for this cruel world. Sending massive hugs. Xx

Thank you all so much for your ongoing support through everything. You’re all so wonderful and I really do appreciate your kind words ❤️

@GPS76 thank you lovely. I definitely want to hold and cuddle this bub, I think it will help. It’s great that you also got to do that and I’m glad it helped x

@LilacIris I’m so sorry you had to go through that, how awful. I definitely want as many memories of this baby as possible too, I never want to forget this little bub who I just love so much. Thank you for the advice ❤️

Also you’re totally right ladies - I’m trying my hardest to focus on the positives and on my amazing partner. A holiday is definitely on the cards! I’ll stick around as the support really does help. Just want to say thank you again and you all truly deserve BFP’s and healthy babies also. I’m so hopeful for each and every one of you 💕

@Cakelaur thank you so much hun. You’re right - we keep telling ourselves that this baby is just too precious for this world and certainly doesn’t deserve a life of pain. I’m so glad things are going well for you and wish you the best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy ❤️

robin78 Happy birthday! So glad that you're feeling more positive than last year. Hope this is the start of a wonderful year filled with joy and good things! xxx

MistyMeow Great that the doctors are so positive about the fertility treatment! Best of luck! :)

SunshineSparklesSmiles You could be implanting later than your previous so no symptoms isn't necessarily a bad sign. Fingers crossed for you!

YellowDaffodils86 Sorry about the BFN. I totally understand you feeling tearful and miserable. Men just don't get it sometimes. Hugs xxxx

I'm also due on today but not doing any testing unless AF doesn't show. Pretty sure I'll be like clockwork as I was cramping yesterday.

@hayleyfx I am so so sorry lovely. I wish there was something I could say to try and take the pain away. Life is just too cruel sometimes. It's so unfair. Please do stay around for support- definitely into the centre of the huddle for you 🐧 🐧 🐧

Thank you everyone!
@YellowDaffodils86 I'm ok thanks. Trying not to let myself get too excited or raise my hopes up as I can still remember how much it hurt last time but it is impossible really. Just want it to be a healthy baby so badly. Lot of waiting to do though before I'll know- still only 12dpo at the moment!
I'm sorry for the bfn. This journey is just rubbish at times- make sure to treat yourself this weekend.

@KnitKitty know what you mean with some pregnancy announcements being easier than others. I think you're right for people who have had no trouble conceiving a healthy pregnancy and know nothing of these struggles I do find it more grating Vs all of the announcements on here where you know we've all had our share of heartache to get there & are just so genuinely happy for each other. Also gives hope!
Totally get what you mean with testing too- that was my plan originally as I find AF a lots easier to deal with emotionally than BFN. Still hoping you'll be joining me though 🤞

@RedRobin7 sorry you feeling down at the moment lovely. 🐧No need to feel bad though just drop in & out when you feel it - we all understand.

I ended up telling my friend who has also had mc recently who I was heading out with yesterday & am glad I did. She would have guessed with the not drinking last night & I really didn't want to keep it from her. Was a bit tricky at times with drink rounds trying to keep it from other work colleagues but managed to pull it off. Shattered today though.
I'll stick around here if that's ok? You lovely ladies have been so supportive over the last few months that I want to be there for all of you too & see you get you bfps. Plus it is going to be a long while before I believe I won't be joining you again to be honest with previous history.

Jessabean don't be afraid to feel joyful about this pregnancy. Going through a loss would hurt just as badly if you had been happy or more reserved beforehand, so make the most of the happiness and enjoy this time!

Also
Happy birthday @robin78! Hope you have a lovely weekend.
And @SunshineSparklesSmiles best of luck for tww. You really can't always tell symptoms wise- I felt I was out as had less this time than previous unsuccessful months up until now.

Thanks @KnitKitty know your right. Would feel equally devastated to lose this one too already in reality & there is already hope there. Will tell close friends and fam as before but will probably be a while before my guard is completely down though I think.

@hayleyfx I am so sorry to hear your sad news. What a lovely partner you have, it makes such a difference having support. A holiday sounds like a great idea, and please do keep in touch whenever you need to talk. Lots of love x

@jessabean- congratulations on your wonderful news❤️ I am 11+5 today (I’ve had 1mmc & 2 mc’s) took nearly a year to fall again but got our bfp a week before our wedding day! Of course everyone is different sweetie & I’ll completely admit I have shit myself with anxiety at least once a day with asking myself do I get to attached to this bub or what is that pulling pain is everything ok etc etc!! Since my bfp 7 weeks ago I have just took every new day as a good one👍🏼 I’ve only had 1 reassurance scan 4 weeks ago & waiting on my 12/13 week scan Monday 6th August (dragging like a bitch🙈) I can completely understand your fears & anxiety hunny & it’s not easy but my mum bless her gave me the best advice which was to try not keep referring to “last time” unfortunately “last time” stays with us but mum said this is new & it’s a new time & she’s right!! I have practically wanted to move into my epu but I realised no matter how many scans I would have I would still worry!! So every morning I get ready go to work be a wife to dh & a mum to my ds & get through another day with an appetite like a horse & walk round with boobs like Dolly Parton which are killing 🙈 & realise I’ve got through another day👍🏼 I suppose what I’m trying to say is we’ve all got our own books with lots of chapters in them but all of the new bfps are NEW CHAPTERS. It’s completely normal to be scared & anxious that comes with mc territory but remember we also deserve happiness & excitement ❤️❤️❤️

Can I ask you guys - I am 14 weeks postpartum of my little angel baby, still no period and ttc. I am having pulling sensation over past few days. Did hpt and negative, any ideas? Am hoping for my rainbow but as 42 going to take time. How is everyone doing? Xx

@Lovemysparkle that was really touching, what a wonderful way to look at any situation! Good luck with the scan and hope to see a beautiful strong bean for you.