TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧

[RedRobin7]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age: 29
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
MC at 6 weeks in July 18
Waiting one cycle before getting back on the bus!

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Oh @hayleyfx I'm so sorry to see you here again. I don't know what to say it's so heartbreaking & fate can just be so so cruel sometimes. I'm keeping absolutely everything crossed for you though that it's not as they thought on your next scan/tests.

Thank you, you lot are all lovely.

@Russkispy Do you know which clinic in Wales it was? We want to stay in the UK cos my partner wants to be legal parent from birth and we're an unmarried lesbian couple.

@hayleyfx I'm so sorry you're going through this, keeping everything crossed you get a good outcome. x

@KnitKitty - yes! Worked at QMC plus City hospital and in Mansfield for a bit as well- they liked to move us around a bit for placements! Would love to come back but having to follow the OH around work wise 🙁 only reason why I left.

@Laney79 Happy Birthday! I'm sorry it's not been the best of days for you & totally get how you feel though you do still have lots of time. Hope you get to enjoy it a bit better this week/ weekend- reclebrate - is totally allowed!

@TedLife I'm sorry for the spotting. You're not out yet though🤞it's not AF for you.

@zarala & @TinyPaws I'm sorry for AF arrival. Hate that witch! 🤞 moving on though.

Thank you for all the 2ww well wishing. Still not overly confident for this month though have started to get some more symptoms (still same/if not a bit milder than my post mc unsuccessful 2ww symptoms so far though).
I'm not sure what to do this week. Am going out for a work social thing on Friday with a friend who has also had a mc & knows I'm trying again- she's taking a break at the mo. She's suggested. drinks as a group with others after and don't want to make a big thing of not drinking & would like a drink or two if i can but was really hoping not to take a test pre AF this cycle after agonizing over squinters last time. Will be 11dpo Friday so not insanely early with an FRER but not sure. What do people reckon...to test or not test? 🤷‍♀️ This seems to always happen! 🍷

@KnitKitty @Jessabean sorry I just tagged the wrong person 🙈 shouldn't type at 4am lol

@hayleyfx oh love I'm so so sorry. You are so lovely and deserve to have your perfect healthy baby. I have absolutely everything crossed that it all turns out fine and it's nothing too serious or they made a mistake. Sending lots of hugs. I wish I could take away your pain.
@Jessabean 11dpo is tricky as it's right on the cusp. Lots of people do get bfps but lots of people get false negatives then too. Ultimately up to you hun. Personally I would just have a drink or two, even if you are pregnant you can't do any damage that early. Good luck whatever you decide!

@YellowDaffodils86 here are my charts for May and June. Both ended with af unfortunately. Hope they help!

@hayleyfx so sorry to read your post. Keeping everything crossed for your next tests xxxxx

@jessabean I would have a drink too. I personally don’t want to put a halt on everything each month so a few drinks in my opinion is fine but it is completely up to you & how you feel - you know yourself and whether you’ll be feeling guilty afterwards or not. Good luck!

Oh @Hayleyfx so sorry to hear this worrying news. Keep us posted. I'll be thinking of you.

@Redrobin7 Good luck today. I hope the thought of going back is worse than the actuality. Get those three days ticked off and then it's the weekend...

@TinyPaws sorry just saw the news about AF-sorry she got you lovely. The two fertility centres I've heard of through work are the shropshire fertility centre and the Midlands fertility clinic (ivi).

@Jessabean not sure where you are, but why not drive? That way you have a good excuse not to drink (but can still have one if you fancy it) - I did that After I found out I was pregnant as I didn't want to raise suspicions amoungst friends (obv before finding out about the MMC). As for birthday I agreed with OH we'd delay my birthday celebration until later in the week.

@RedRobin7 Hope today goes ok-but if you do feel down there's nothing wrong with being kind to yourself and leaving early. My counsellor is a great advocate of letting yourself feel the way you feel. Says hiding it in my case could lead to more issues down the line. I have my fingers crossed for you.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. Hoping that my craziness about it will pass quickly, FW approacheth! I've been ovulating day 14/15 past couple of months and I'm only cd7 today so a few days to go yet.

Thanks everyone for the replies. @Laney79 thanks that was my go to trick when me and OH went back to see friends down south but unfortunately bit trickier to pull off here as we all live in town so no need to drive. 😕
Think I'll probably test. Whenever I have been pregnant before I've had a faint but definite BFP by 11dpo & I'm pretty certain when I ovulated this month with tracking. If BFP I'll be good & just tell my friend & if negative I'll have a couple of drinks but not go crazy- blame it on the need to pack/move at the weekend I think!
I know is silly worrying as know so many people who've gotten blind drunk even at early stages and had healthy pregnancies but I guess it's just wanting to protect myself in case I have another mc- feel like i can't try and put unnecessary blame on myself then if that makes sense?
@RedRobin7 good luck with work today. Will be tough but you are so strong you'll get through it and will then gradually get easier. If you do find it too much though don't be afraid to ask for a little longer. We're all here with you if you need to vent about anything.

@hayleyfx sorry to hear your news keeping everything crossed for you.

Good luck goung back today @Redrobin7. Hope you don't have much to go back to and you can ease yourself back in x

@hayleyfx that sounds super tough. I hope you don't have to wait too long for answers, and fingers crossed it is all a false alarm.

I've just caught up on the thread, it moves soooo fast! Sorry to those who have had AF. I'm only 13 days post MC but have been getting lots of ovulation type symptoms for several days now, and I think I do tend to ovulate early (I think - I've never actually tracked). Hubby goes away today for work so fingers crossed it's not a false alarm, as if it hasn't happened yet we'll probably miss it. So looks like I'm joining the TWW early. Not sure whether my next AF will happen on time though as I haven't had one yet since MC.

Good luck to everyone else in the TWW!!

Laney79 Sorry I missed wishing you a happy birthday on the day itself. I hope you managed to enjoy it. Remember, ladies a lot older than you still get pregnant and have healthy babies, you're definitely still in with a very, very good chance. You know already that you can get pregnant, and it's common to MC, even for women younger than you (sadly). Don't lose heart and good luck with this cycle. Nearly in the FW now, aren't you? Fingers crossed!

zarala glad AF arrived, panic over. xxx oohh, new lingerie... niiice

TedLife How are you today? What's going on with AF?

Coffiest sorry it was a BFN, but bring on the cheese and vino!!!! (There are silver linings...)

Hi EmmaJack86 sorry you find yourself here, but you're in amongst a group of lovely supportive ladies here so welcome to the penguin huddle! It's great that you feel ready to try again. Be kind to yourself and go with the flow of the ups and downs. I started trying straight away but then needed to give myself a break a couple of months in, so just do whatever feels right for you. xxx

PurpleFushia Great news about the fibroids!!! Yey!

Bobzybaby I think it's both lovely and understandable that you're worried for your friend. She's very lucky to have such a good friend. With what you've been through, projecting your worries is completely normal as you know what can go wrong with pregnancy, but you're right to try and keep it to yourself, that's very considerate of you. You sound like an amazing and supportive person to have around, I hope you realise how lovely you are.

MistyMeow the ups and downs come and go, and sometimes the down days come from the middle of nowhere and hit you in the feels. Hugs. Just ride the waves of emotion.
I had MMC in March, I was very numb for a while, then felt loads better and then this last month I've been feeling very "left behind" with life as others have had nice things happening, and moving on with their lives one way or another, so I totally get how you feel. xxx

SunshineSparkesSmiles Fingers crossed for you. None of us in the TTW seem to be feeling optimistic about this month, I'm just assuming one of us at least has to be wrong! Hope you're wrong...

TinyPaws Massive squishy penguin cuddles. I'm so sorry it didn't work this time. That truly sucks. I hope you manage to get the IVF ball rolling quickly and that it all works out for you. Stick around here for support. It must be so frustrating not being able to try every month and just hope for the best. Everything is a lot more intense for you, so I hope you're managing to stay calm and peaceful about the journey to parenthood family life (you're already a mum to a little soul) that you and your OH are on. xxx

Ouch! Boboelephant! Maybe it's a TTC therapy no one has yet discovered... Or some kind of good luck sign, like being pooed on by a bird...

RedRobin7 Thinking of you at work today. Hugs! (And it made me laugh that you got me and Jessabean mixed up... I think we've all been spending too much time together).

Lilimum4 I'm going to go ahead and say that it's normal for you so it shouldn't be a problem. Your body probably knows what it's doing. Remember 28 days is average so that means plenty of women must have shorter cycles and so ovulate around that time, like you.

YellowDaffodils86 Sorry it was a BFN for now... Still got my fingers crossed for you though.

hayleyfx I'm so sorry you've had this stressful news!
Remember they can't be sure of anything at this point and that's why they're doing further tests, so everything could still well be fine. We will all be sending your little bean as much positive vibes and thoughts as possible and hoping that you have a good outcome. Try to just take each day at a time for now and focus on the good parts of the scan you had. How exciting to see a heartbeat and hiccups!
HUGE HUDDLE CUDDLE. xxxxx

Jessabean what symptoms have you been having?
I haven't really had any symptoms at all apart from the weird CM the other day and what can only be described as a CM bogey yesterday. Eww!!! (Sorry). Don't think it's anything though.
They say drink until it's pink. I personally avoid anything in TTW, as like you I don't want to give myself any ammo for self-blame. But there's really no reason not to have one or two at this stage even if you are pregnant. You could just have one. Since she's been through MC and TTC, she'll probably understand you wanting to tone down your drinking while TTC even if she's not trying herself right now.

crazyhorseylady good luck. Hopefully you'll catch your fertile window. If it doesn't happen this month though be kind to yourself and see it as extra time for you to heal (mentally and physically). xxx

I'm 9DPO today and no symptoms or signs. Not feeling hopeful.

@KnitKitty Pink turned to brown spotting yesterday so i'm declaring myself out this month. Off to stock up on another month of TTC vitamins at lunch. Looking forward to a large glass of wine this weekend. Pouring all my hopes into everyone else though! When are you planning to test?

@TinyPaws , I met this mum yesterday, married lesbian couple who told me about the IVF clinic.
They're called CRGW. The consultant was Amanda. And apparently they now have a clinic in Bristol.
The girl recommended the clinic to others who were also successful.

All done at the hospital for my complaint meeting. They admitted their fault in miscommunication between the consultant and registar/surgeon on the day. Offered a massive apology and reassurance scan for any future pregnancies if/when we go for fertility treatment so I don't have to pay for private scans. Got very upset at the meeting and spoke on behalf of other ladies makin sure nobody has to go through this!

@hayleyfx I'm really sorry to hear about your scan. I hope so much that further tests are positive for you both. Take care of yourself. Lots of love x

Thanks @bobzybaby @KnitKitty and @sweetpea0318 I do feel better today.

I think it was triggered by something last week that's lingered with me. I work as an actor, and I had an audition for a pregnant lady on her way to hospital. Usually I can block out my own experiences and focus, but the director said "I need to see your excitement" and I couldn't do it. Made me feel sad. It will get easier I'm sure, just one of those things.

What a nightmare @hayleyfx, i hope you there's been a mistake and you get some good news when you go back. Until then and for as long as you need it you'll have our support

Bummer @TedLife sorry it sounds like it's game over this month but still hoping for you.

@Mistymeow - that sounds so hard. Cool
That you're an actor! Might we have seen you in anything?

@KnitKitty your message has made my day, lovely thing to say so thank you 😊

@Russkispy I think it has been incredibly strong of you to take the hospital on, on behalf of other women. I'm glad they took it seriously and you'll get the comfort you need from future scans.

@Jessabean I don't change anything I do during my TWW. I think I've just scunnered myself with changing my lifestyle and nothing happening! I'll be on holiday during my TWW in Aug and I fully intend to enjoy the all inclusive 😉

@RedRobin7 I've been thinking about you today and hope your first day back is going ok.

@Mistymeow I think acting like an excited pregnant woman was an extremely tough stretch given your experience. It's unfortunate that your job puts you in that predicament when the vast majority of us could never dream of circumstances when we'd need to act that way. There's just times that it's ok to not be ok and that sounds like one of them.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

Thank you all so much ladies, your support really means a lot to me ❤️ I have an appointment on Friday at 12:15pm so will find out more then however I don’t think it’s looking good. The baby’s head is abnormally large and they’re really concerned about it. I’m still hoping for some miracle but prepared for the worst. Can’t believe I might have to say goodbye to this bub who I just love so much 😔

@Boboelephant thank you so much for your kind words 💕 I hope you’re having a lovely holiday!

@KnitKitty thank you hun, you’re right, we keep reminding ourselves that there’s no definite yet. Trying to be as positive as we possibly can be. Devastated that something might be wrong but seeing that heartbeat and little hiccups will be something I cherish forever x

@doddlebobs hah probably not, maybe the odd fleeting moment!

Thanks @Bobzybaby I'm hopeful I won't be in that position again, or at least not for a long while.

I'm heading into my FW but I'd really like to see someone with a BFP on this thread this week :)

So sorry haley, I've been there so I know how awful it is when the atmosphere in the scan room suddenly changes.......
As others have said, try and remain as calm as poss before Friday...
Will b thinking of you x

@hayleyfx so sorry to hear you are going through this. Sending you lots of love and positive vibes. I hope you get better news on Friday x

@hayleyfx i am devastated for you. It made me cry a little for you and just how unfair this is. I truly hope that its not what is feared. We are all here for you. Xx