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TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧

997 replies

RedRobin7 · 18/07/2018 11:57

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age: 29
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
MC at 6 weeks in July 18
Waiting one cycle before getting back on the bus!

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OP posts:
Thread gallery
35
Dyra · 23/07/2018 14:38

@TedLife Very surreptitiously. Grin Small boob ache the other day, and I'm cramping a lot. I have a feeling AF is on her way early(ish). Forcing myself to wait another week (for the full 35 days) until POAS. At least the boob poking is keeping my hands busy instead of having to sit on them to stop myself from reaching for the tests.

Almost glad I'm working this week. There's air con here. It's about the only thing keeping me alive in this heat and humidity.

Bobzybaby · 23/07/2018 16:41

@Dyra so jealous of you guys having a heatwave. Weather on the west coast of Scotland sucks!

TedLife · 23/07/2018 16:54

@Bobzybaby Oh god, take the heat! I work from home and i'm still dying!!

Bobzybaby · 23/07/2018 17:03

@TedLife to be fair I moan when it's too hot then I moan when it's raining! It's currently a sticky humidity with rain! 🙄

InDreamland · 23/07/2018 17:03

How everyone had a good day.

Went to my GP today. I've now done self referral for NHS counselling and had more blood tests. Also getting referred back to the fertility clinic. Was told that I was not told to do a HPT because I'd had a scan that confirmed the mc and no retained products. They think the rash is linked to my eczema which is made worse by the stress of the MC and also this heat wave. I really hope I get a counsellor quickly. Due back at work next week and it was a real struggle leaving the house today. GP said today though if I'm not going ready to return to work he'll sign me off for longer.

YellowDaffodils86 · 23/07/2018 17:18

@Boboelephant thanks. Hey probably when af is due if she doesn't show up.

@RedRobin7 how is your doggy?
Nope not too bitchy 😂
I will probably watch it, but i know it will probably irritate me.

@TedLife i like that point, that if you don't tell people, you may miss the joy of telling the good news and only get to tell of the bad news. My dad was one of that last for me to tell as he was away on holiday, and I wanted to tell him face to face. I didnt get to tell him time and he got just the bad news.

Im not sure, id say im 50:50. Iv a few symptoms, my boobs are sore, more sore than other cycles and my uterus feels lile its been scrapped out from the inside, although i had a few feelings like that last cycle.
Had a few cramps yesterday but nothing today. How about you?

@Bobzybaby I will happily trade places!! I like the sun but im done, especially as I dont have air con at work 😩

TedLife · 23/07/2018 17:28

@YellowDaffodils86 what dpo are you? I'm 9dpo and honestly, not much. I'm exhausted but i'm sleeping badly because of the heat anyway. Also having crazy dreams but again, I think it's heat related. Not feeling too confident this month. Even tried to check my cervix position today and it freaked me out so wont be doing that again....

Mistymeow · 23/07/2018 18:19

Hi everyone, I'm still here- I've not melted!

How is everyone doing? I'll be cracking out the opks from Wednesday I think. Going to DH's hospital appointment on Friday to tell his consultant that we miscarried and he needs to be put back on his fertility treatment. I hope they don't take too long to start working.

@laney I had very short heavy afs that lasted two days then nothing in the first two afs after miscarriage, but it seems to be settling this month (still heavy but now slightly longer). Hope it sorts itself out soon, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

@indreamland I'm glad you've got a supportive GP- don't go back to work too early. Maybe try going in on a friday so then you have the weekend to recover if it was a bit too much? Glad you are being referred to counselling.

RedRobin7 · 23/07/2018 18:20

@YellowDaffodils86 I love her already! She's a bit hot though, it's 27 degrees in my house but we have the dyson fan on.

I won't name her on here as it's easy to be traced back to me by GD!

TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧
OP posts:
Jessabean · 23/07/2018 18:28

Hi everyone

@TedLife forgot you were in the 2ww too. I'm 7dpo but not feeling overly confident this cycle- had more symptoms during my 2ww last cycle when we weren't even trying! Likewise is quite hard to distinguish what's due to heat and what's not. I also just have no idea what's going on now anyway- never used to have any PMS symptoms pre mc's and now i seem to get the lot of them!
Going to try and wait out until AF is late this time I think partly as I do t think this is my cycle and also as it was really horrible getting my hopes up with possible squinters last cycle we tried in May- feel like just seeing AF will be less painful!

@KnitKitty yes! I trained in Nottingham but often worked in Royal Derby Hospital. Loved it there.
How are you getting on at the moment?
Agree with what you say about trying to be positive and just enjoy new pregnancy as if all will be ok. Think we put too much pressure on ourselves to do or do not do things or think a certain way as if it will change what will happen. Much better just to be easy on yourself, allow yourself to feel how you want but to try and enjoy when things are going well on this journey. Always easier said than done though of course!

Jessabean · 23/07/2018 18:29

Aw @RedRobin7 she's gorgeous! I love dogs - they just make you so happy to be around!

Dyra · 23/07/2018 18:40

Aww what a gorgeous happy dog. Can almost see the thumping of that waggy tail. :3

Blondcat · 23/07/2018 18:57

@tedlife @yellowdaffodils86 @jessicabean fx for you and anyone else in the tww.

@redrobin7 she looks so relaxed already.

Newbie21 · 23/07/2018 18:58

@RedRobin7 awww she's gorgeous. I hope she settles in OK. I'm so jealous, I want one!!!

AF showed up this afternoon :-(. I keep thinking about dates and where we would have been if my bean was still with me compared to now... like if I got pregnant this next cycle rather than being 7months younger than my nephew it will now be over a year and how am I going to cope on the due date and at Christmas and on my birthday if I'm not pregnant by then, it will be hard anyway but I'm worried about coping if I'm not. I know a number of you ladies have had to deal with all those milestones already and I know we have to keep buggering on regardless but it's so depressing. Sorry for off loading. I'll be ok. AF arrival is obviously crappy but on a Monday at the office.. it just compounds the feeling of "I don't want to be here".

doddlebobs · 23/07/2018 19:12

Oh @Newbie21 sorry to hear about AF and that she rested her ugly head on a hot and sticky office afternoon. We're right there with you on the milestones. You will cope on all of those days, there will be hard times and there will be good times. It will get easier. The first day of AF post miscarriage is particularly shitty I find because not only are you reminded of what you don't have this month but also what you lost PLUS it's not pleasant and your hormones are all screwy. Virtual hugs and huddles. Hope you feel better later and have plenty of understanding (even if they don't know the full story) friends around you. We're always here xx

KnitKitty · 23/07/2018 19:22

Hi ladies, hope everyone's had a good day!

Lilimum4 How long are your cycles normally? When do you usually ovulate? Are you sure you ovulated CD10? I guess it can be normal for some if they have shorter cycles, so no idea if it has an affect on quality of eggy...

Hi Martydog hope you manage to enjoy a well-earned break!!! Best of luck with the JKS during the summertime. Fingers crossed for you! xxx

RedRobin7 Remember if you find it too difficult tomorrow you can go home again and get signed off for longer.
The doggie looks gorgeous! Looks like a very happy and loving soul. Smile

zarala I think you're right about us knowing our bodies best. That's why I've not been temping or OPKing. I would if I felt that I didn't understand my cycles or was taking a long time to get pregnant, however I've been trying to focus on getting to know my body and its rhythms better, rather that focusing on TTC (well, that's the idea... easier said than done though!).
I don't have any apps, but I do have my own colourful hand-made chart that I write down notes about my cycles on. It's really helpful. I use a side of A4 lined paper for each cycle, numbered down the side for CDs. On each line I write symptoms I've had, when we DTD, if I think I ovulated that day etc in colour code. I can then place two months next to each other and see what the similarities/differences are. God, do I sound really sad??? Haha!

Haha TedLife Not been poking my boobs (yet). You made me chuckle with your freak out about your cervix position. I can usually barely even reach mine... Not sure if that's normal or not. So I don't really bother with it. I feel the more things I check on for signs, the more things I would worry about in pregnancy if they felt different, so I'd rather be blissfully ignorant!
Actually not really had any symptoms to speak of. 7DPO at the moment.
Funny, Jessabean and TedLife I don't feel this is my month either. Surely one of us has to be wrong at least??? YellowDaffodis86 I hope your symptoms are a little bean in there making a nest and not AF on its way!!!

Jessabean Were you at the QMC in Notts? The Royal Derby is a nice hospital. Come back here!!! Haha!
I'm not doing too badly, just trying not to think too much about TTW (and failing) but really doubting that this is the month. Not had any symptoms to speak of and just not feeling like we've been lucky this time. Hoping to be proven wrong. How are you?

InDreamland I'm glad you're going to get counselling. I really hope it helps. Stay strong! xxx

RE when to tell people about pregnancy in case of loss...
I told my family a few days before I found out about MMC, but I had already had some bleeding so wasn't feeling confident about the pregnancy. Those few days between telling my family and the scan were the best days I had of my pregnancy and it was the first scan I went to where I didn't feel I was a complete bag of nerves, even though I knew deep down that it was a failing pregnancy. It was so nice having people be happy and excited, because I hadn't been feeling that way myself and it made everything feel better. The loss obviously still really hurt, but then it was helpful having people around me that understood I had lost something they had been excited about too, rather than it not really being a real loss for them if they'd found out about it afterwards, if that makes any sense.
I think I will tell family early on again next time, but I don't want them to feel not excited because of what happened with the last one... I hope they are just as excited and optimistic as before.

Newbie21 Sorry AF arrived hun. I stopped working out dates I would have been to stay sane. No idea actually how many weeks I'd currently be and ignorance is bliss I think. Obviously the big milestones are still there and it might be difficult in October, but I think as time is a healer I will feel strong enough to cope when the due date comes round. Stay strong chicken, you will be fine. You will find ways to cope through everything.
I agree with doddlebobs, first day of AF is the worst.

YellowDaffodils86 · 23/07/2018 20:03

@TedLife haha, that made me laugh. I have never monitored cp.
im 10dpo

@RedRobin7 ahhh 😍how old is she? Hope she helps. Please try not to worry work too much, and yes you can always come home.

@KnitKitty thanks. You would think at least one of us would get a bfp!

My boobs are killing me!

Bobzybaby · 23/07/2018 20:10

@TedLife what I'm the world is checking your cervix?! I learn so much new stuff on here!

KnitKitty · 23/07/2018 20:19

TMI alert... Just had something happen which I don't remember ever happening before.
Went to the loo and a big string of CM came out as I pulled my knickers down. Confused I don't usually get much and am usually pretty dry before AF. But I have read several times that differences in CM before AF is due isn't a sign of pregnancy as it's too early for those changes to happen... Body just being weird I guess? Does anyone else get this sometimes?

RedRobin7 · 23/07/2018 20:19

@KnitKitty Thank you. I have one more day at home and then back on Wednesday. I'm going to just be honest with HR and tell her how it is and see what she says. I've got a team meeting on Thursday, everyone is coming over from France, Germany, Italy and Wales and then I'm expected to go for dinner in the evening. I will see how I feel but I'm already thinking it's going to be too much.

@YellowDaffodils86 She is about 19 months 😍 She's just been watching the F1 with my DH lol! So sweet!

OP posts:
RedRobin7 · 23/07/2018 20:21

@KnitKitty Omg strange you say that - I went to the gym today and it felt like I wet myself when I was running on the treadmill so I had to pause to go to the toilet and it was a huge lump of jelly like CM! Turns out I didn't wet myself haha!

I haven't had any ovulation pains but it was exactly two weeks since I started miscarrying so I'm wondering if it's about to happen!

OP posts:
Boboelephant · 23/07/2018 21:03

@zarala definitely yes to breathing circle!! As for pm on phone, just hit the three dots at bottom of post.
@TedLife, @KnitKitty, @YellowDaffodils86, @Jessabean fingers crossed for you all. We haven't had a bfp for awhile so it's got to be time for at least one!
@Newbie21 sorry for af hun. First day is ways the worst.

I got to swim in this today....amazing!!!

TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧
Bobzybaby · 23/07/2018 21:35

@Boboelephant that looks amazing! Hope
You're having a relaxing time away!

littleemma1 · 23/07/2018 21:37

Hey ladies!!

This thread moves so bloody fast!!

I agree @Knitkitty, next time I am going to try and enjoy from the moment we find out. If its going to end in miscarriage I dont want the whole thing overshadowed by fears!! If its gonna happen, its gonna happen, nothing I can do will stop it.

@Bobzybaby Im so pleased youve said the weather is cooling down in Scotland - I look after Scotland in my job and the heat really makes shit kick off so I am pleased its cooling down!!

@InDreamland I spoke to my EAP who are referring me for counselling :) I am looking forward to it!

@TedLife, @KnitKitty, @YellowDaffodils86, @Jessabean keeping everything crossed for you!! For those with strange CM, it is a common symptom before a BFP, although I dont want to get anyones hopes up!

@Bobzybaby I had to google how to check my cervix and in the end I couldnt do it so DH does it for me... thankfully we're not shy lol!

@Boboelephant so jealous, hope youre having fun!!

@Newbie21 I always find a tipple or two helps me through AF :D

I am back to work tomorrow after 3 weeks off for the wedding and honeymoon - needless to say I am NOT looking forward to the 5am alarm :( on that note, I am off to try and sleep.

I have just updated my blog tonight if you ladies want to have a peek - I have added some really nice motivational stuff on there :)

elrobson91.wixsite.com/onetruettcjourney

YellowDaffodils86 · 23/07/2018 21:53

@Boboelephant ah looks amazing. Very jelous

@littleemma1 i enjoyed your blog, thanks foe sharing

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