TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

[Boboelephant]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

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@Jessabean evidence shows that feeling relaxed or stress levels are not correlated to chances of becoming pregnant, so don’t worry if you’re not feeling relaxed about conceiving.

@Ells0204 I'm right there with you also 6dpo but I have to say I'm not at all hopeful. Just doing feel anything. Was cramping from O day until yesterday morning, but now nothing. When are you testing
@lovemysparkle and @MrsLCW congratulations such amazing news. Fx and tx crossed for healthy pregnancies xx

@patphelan it can take a while before your cycles go back to normal after a loss. A tracker can be useful to pinpoint approximate ovulation, but bear in mind that some women ov earlier or later and not in the middle of the cycle. For instance, my cycles are 30 days, but ov is around day 20, so a tracker would be useless for me. I use ov sticks. You can get cheap ones off eBay (one step).

@Secondtimelucky1980 my gosh I can't begin to understand how hard that has been. I hope you can find the strength to carry on whether you try for another or stop. So sorry for all you've been through. Welcome to the group.

@patphelan welcome to you too and I'm sorry you find yourself here. Tracking to predict is best using ovulation sticks. Lots start with the cheap one step brand that you get on Amazon but plenty invest in the Clear Blue system as well. Tracking you Basal Bidy Temperature is good but better for confirming ovulation than predicting it.

So nice to see so many new people join. This really is a lovely thread.

@Secondtimelucky1980 I'm so sorry you've had to go through so many losses. I've had two now (no previous children) and the last one has properly broken me emotionally - thought of going through so many fills me with dread. You are so strong to have persevered through that and it's totally understandable if you feel like you want to stop.

@patphelan not thick at all. There are a few ways you can try and pin point ovulation. Apps are quite good for showing you when your periods and fertile window are likely to be. Some women measure morning basal temperatures and chart them- basically you tend to see a temp dip followed by a steep increase at ovulation. Also you can track cervical mucus- tends to be lots of egg white looking mucus around fertile period/ovulation. Some women use ovulation predictor kits too - when positive ovulation is usually about to happen in next 12-36 hours. Not sure of other methods.

Thankyou @MrsLCW xx
@sweetpea0318 good you're using headspace. This journey can really mess with your mind! My DH is constantly telling me to not put so much pressure on myself but I just don't know how to stop! @0lapislazuli very pleased to hear that as I cannot stop obsessing and would not be able to just say oh let's not DTD when I know I'm fertile. I'm more of a 'EWCM is here, there's two lines on the opk, pants off now' kinda gal. 😂
@dreaminofholidays sorry for the bfn hun.
@Gillead2029 sorry for your loss. Are you sure it's not a new pregnancy? Did you get a negative test before?
@Secondtimelucky1980 I'm so sorry for your losses. I can't even imagine. We are all here for you.
@TedLife sending hugs 🐧
@patphelan sorry for your loss. As a few others have said- best way to track ovulation is to use opks. Once you get a positive opk you should ovulate within 12-48 hours so that's the time to get busy (or JKS as we say on this thread). These coupled with cervical mucus are a good indicator. You want the egg white type- EWCM- that's the fertile sort. Then temping with a basal body thermometer will confirm ovulation. The apps are ok but not ideal as they work off people with a very average cycle and MC seems to mess up cycles a fair bit!

So I had a basically positive opk from about an hour ago. Woop woop! I've just jumped DH and am assuming it'll be properly positive tonight so ovulation should be tomorrow and tww starting Tuesday. 😀

@Boboelephant
Hello 👋 I'm not sure tbh, which makes it even more confusing ! I thought I'd got a BFN last Sunday but now I'm worried I didn't look at it enough or do the whole squinty/ shining a light / putting my face practically touching the test to see 🙈

So basically I've no idea. I think most probably it's old hormones but I've had a scan and they can't see any thing left. It's only been 4 and a bit weeks since I MCarried. Also I tested on Wednesday and today and the line hasn't really got darker at all. You have to really study the test to see it (to the point that I'm worried I've actually lost the plot and I'm just imagining lines)

God.

I am trying not to let this take over my life but it is. I keep going back to check the test, looking at it at different angles etc. I'm so desperate for a baby :-/ when I was pregnant before I started a little box of things I'd seen that were cute (hats, nursery things etc). I've had to put it in the wardrobe for now, can't cope with seeing it all the time. Anyone else done anything like that?

That was really long sorry !

@Boboelephant I hope you have a...productive night!!! :-)

Hello all, please may I join your huddle? I'm 33, ttc #1. We had an MMC at the beginning of June, found out at an early scan we had booked at 9w 5d. Had an erpc a week later. It was the most heartbreaking time for us but we feel ready to try again. I'm so glad to have found your thread

Another 🐧 squeezing on if that's ok - you look to be a lovely supportive group! I binned my last user name after MC but starting afresh:
PurpleFushia
Age: 36
TTC #2
DS 21 months
MMC at 11 weeks in May 2018
Cycle 2 following MC, trying since Feb 2018

Currently 7dpo but not hopeful, too much pressure this month I think and not wanting to put ourselves under too much pressure about it plus DH being away meant we only managed once, was on predicted day of ovulation at least but not sure my app is getting that right yet - it thinks I have a 30day cycle but was always 28 before MC? Not wanting to use OPKs though as I have a bad tendancy to get obsessed! Might consider it next month though so watching for tips! When do people generally start them, once AF is over?

@Gillead2029 oh that sounds tough. Hmm I don't know. Did you use the EPU? Can you ask them? Or ask GP for a blood test? I bought a big brother t-shirt for my DS in November which is tucked away in the back of a drawer and now will almost certainly be too small. That's heart breaking for me. I know there were a few girls on here who had little boxes like you. I think they've all gone on to have bfps so hopefuly you'll get to use them soon. And haha thankyou! Already completed! 🤣
@SunshineSparklesSmiles and @PurpleFushia welcome and sorry for your losses. @Purple with the opks they tell you in the box when to start depending on the length of your cycle. I usually ovulate about day 16 so generally start them about day 12.

@lilimum4 I know, I feel the same, I have literally felt nothing! FF app suggested test day is Tues 10th July, but we all know I’ll be testing from about 8dpo with internet cheapies!

@PurpleFushia I use them from about CD10!

@Ells0204 lol I thought I was the only nutter who did that. My cycle says 9th but I have a 25 day cycle. Fx for you though

Thank you everyone, I have just ordered some sticks from amazon and I think I'll start using them after the next cycle. I haven't ever really 'tried' if that makes sense, it's just happened so far with the pregnancies I have had. This is the first time i am taking it seriously and I have a lot to learn and some reading to do. I'm going to look into the basal temperature too.

Thank you.

Hi everyone.

I'm 22, and my first pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage in April. I was supposed to be 12 weeks, but a scan revealed baby had died at 6 weeks. I had to have an ERPC as my body simply wasn't passing the pregnancy itself, plus I was beginning to develop an infection due to the dead
'tissue' (ugh, I hate that term ) siting there for so long.

We've been TTC since I recovered from my ERPC (11th April), and on Tuesday the 26th of June we got our BFP ❤ We are overjoyed but also terrified of this pregnancy ending the same way. I keep taking tests to make sure they're still positive and the line is getting darker (which it is ).

Good luck and baby dust to everyone! I'm hoping to see loads of BFPs before too long.

@Gillead2029 I bought a travel cot as it was reduced to £15. It's hidden away in a back porch. Hubby said at the time we'd jinx it by buying it so early so if I buy anything before I've had a scan I'd have to hide it. I also bought a big brother t-short like @Boboelephant which is hidden in my sons wardrobe. It has penguins on it!
Try not to look too hard at squinty lines. I personally only trust a line that's clear as squinters are often due runs or indents. Bin the test as soon as the time is up and try to resist going back to it.

@SunshineSparklesSmiles and @PurpleFushia welcome and I'm sorry you've been through this. 💐

@CobaltRose congratulations and good luck for this one!

Thanks @boboelephant and @Ells0204 - I had been assuming you had to use them all the time so actually quite a relief to hear it'll probably only be 10 days or so - think I can manage that so have ordered some cheap ones from Amazon so they come before I go away on holiday, will probably need to start them when I'm away. Don't think I can handle temping, my toddler wakes me up at all sort of times so not sure I'd ever get a trend going! Sort of use the heart rate thing ony Fitbit as an indicator though, anyone else track that? Mine definitely showed a raised heart rate for the last pregnancy for roughly correct dates.

@PurpleFushia I have the amazon ones, I personally think they’re brilliant. I had a love hate relationship with them at first and nearly gave up but once you get to know your cycles they really come in handy. I tried temping for about 3 days and it just doesn’t work for me. No excuse other than I’m just not a morning person and I forget 😂 if I ever struggled particularly with pin pointing O then I would put more effort into it but OPKs are working so far! Seeing as I’ve managed to fall pregnant twice so I’m good at catching my eggs haha...I’m just struggling to keep them!! X

Thanks @Boboelephant for new thread!

Here's me checking in
I'll respond to others when I've had a chance to catch up xx

I'm 36
Have 1 DD 20 months
First MC August 2017 (5w6days)
MMC December 2017 discovered at 12 week scan (stopped growing 9w4d)
MMC March 2018 discovered at 8 week scan (stopped growing 6w5days)

Took a break from TTC for 3 months
Saw the infamous Dr Shehata specialist in recurrent MCs and he diagnosed me with very aggressive natural killer cells so I'm on steroids when TTC. So far tried in June, away from DH in July so will be back on it in August with a vengeance! Really hoping for a BFP before the end of this year

I had my erpc on 11th June and bled for about 5-6 days. I'll be honest, at first I didn't know if I'd be strong enough to want to try again but the more I thought about it, my mind changed. I bought the clearblue ovulation sticks and got two lines last Sunday. From my calculations I'm 6DPO today although I've decided to look at this month as a trial run to ease us back into trying properly next month. I'm optimistic and would love to get a BFP next weekend but I'm managing my expectations as I appreciate conceiving before a complete cycle post MC is a rare occurrence.

@littleemma1 how exciting for you! Hope you have a fabulous day! And Fx a honeymoon baby!

@Lovemysparkle OMGGGGGG!!!!
This is the BEST BEST NEWS EVER
I am so over the moon!
Firstly! Yes for your magical perfect wedding! It really is the best day 😍 and I'm so happy it turned out so fabulous for you
And then THE BFP!!!! Whaaattt!!!!! Wow wow! Must have been the shower quickie?! Hahaha !!! Soooo soo awesome!
Which professor are you seeing? I'm also on the pred but 25mg- actually your cocktail sounds just like mine! (Once I get a BFP)
So happy you've seen the heartbeat!
Sending you so much sparkly luck your way! Please keep us updated on how everything goes!!!
Really fantastic news! Congrats!!!! Here's to an uneventful 8 months !

@MrsLCW and fabulous news ! Congrats! And hooray for hubby making you test! Fx for a happy healthy pregnancy !
It goes to show it really only takes that 1 time!

@Secondtimelucky1980 you are a warrior woman! I'm so sorry you've had to endure so many losses! I really hope this is your month. Which consultant did you see? I am seeing dr Shehata - I also saw a consultant in dr Reagan's team but they basically told me nothing is wrong with me- even tho dr S diagnosed me with aggressive natural killer cells. He has such an incredible success rate, would you consider seeing him? Or is it altogether just too much anxiety?

I don't have time to finish reading the whole rest of this new thread!
But there are so many newbies!
I'm so sorry you find yourselves here- but this is a lovely place to come!
Lots of hugs and baby dust to all

Fx @Boboelephant go get that man! 🙌🏽🤸🏽‍♀️

@CobaltRose congratulations 🎉💐 hope you have a sticky bean! 🤞🏼 Xx

Can I join in? :)

Sophie
28yo
TTC #1
MC@7 weeks just over 3 weeks ago
First cycle since MC (no period)
CD24

I have no idea what DPO but from CM and temps I suspect either 8, 10 or 14??

@Boboelephant
I really hope I do get to use them soon :-/ I stupidly bought some little Christmas onesies (on sale!) because I was due early December and it breaks my heart that Christmas will come and go with no little person to wear them. I've joked to my husband that if we get pregnant again I'll be putting baby in them no matter what the time of year ;-) reindeers can be for the summer too right ? ;-) my epau have been great but they've scanned me now and did a normal pregnancy test at the time and it said negative. So as far as they're concerned I'm discharged. I'm using a first early response test at home. I am going to try and hold off until I'm due my period on Thursday and see what happens.

@Hidcat thank you, I know I need to stop looking I'm driving myself insane! We found out baby had a strong heartbeat but was very small at first so we had weekly scans from 7 till 11 weeks when the heartbeat stopped. All I could think was that I'd jinxed us by being so excited and buying things (like the Christmas onesies!). If we get pregnant again I don't know if I would buy anything until much much later now.

hidcat