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TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

995 replies

Boboelephant · 30/06/2018 11:58

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

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OP posts:
Thread gallery
35
robin78 · 17/07/2018 10:52

Oh @mrsLCW sending lots of love. So sorry to hear you are going through this. Xx

Kintan · 17/07/2018 11:03

@MrsLCW I’m keeping everything crossed for you xxx

Blondcat · 17/07/2018 11:07

@mrslcw fx for you. You know where we are if you need the penguin huddle.

strawberrye · 17/07/2018 11:08

@MrsLCW thinking of you and keeping everything crossed that you have a positive outcome

TedLife · 17/07/2018 11:09

Oh @MrsLCW I'm so sorry to hear this. Will be keeping everything crossed for you and sending you good wishes this morning. We're here for you if you need support whatever the outcome xx

Lovemysparkle · 17/07/2018 11:20

Hey 👋🏼 all I have been keeping up with you all 😘 hi to all the newbies so sorry your here but these ladies are a tonic & breath of fresh air & of course we all understand & relate to each other ❤️
@boboelephant I’m so sorry about soddin af I know it’s not much consolation but I am willing all positivity vibes to you. Just heard about one of my old work colleagues she has been ttc fo around 15 yrs (she’s 40 ) she then had ivf no luck the had bfp about year & half ago but had a mc & I found out last night that she is 16 weeks & all is well❤️ She has been through the shit as her dp has also had 2 serious strokes (he’s only mid 40’s) but naturally preggo again 😁 I think it just reminded me that we have to keep our eyes on the prize girls & never give up😘
Just a quick update for me (don’t wanna hurt/upset anyone) all is well for me at the mo am 10+1 have had booking appointment last Sunday my glucose is high so gotta have more involved tests (eating to much cake!!) I am a high risk pregnancy case & have seen a consultant & will be under them all the way through till the grand finale 🙈 I’m still on all meds so rattling about !! I am staying positive but do have a wobble now & again!! Which I think is normal after 3mc’s!! I just try to give myself a break & dh always reassures me how well I’m doing 😘
@cakular I have tried to pop over & say hi to all you gals but somehow can’t get on (think it’s just me being a pillac 😂😂)
Thinking of you all ❤️ Whatever you are going through please please keep positive with life ❤️ And remember the fog will lift & everything will become clear lots of love to all of you 😘😘

Bobzybaby · 17/07/2018 11:29

@MrsLCW sorry you're going through this stress. everything crossed for a sticky bean 🤞🏻

Jessabean · 17/07/2018 11:44

@MrsLCW so sorry to hear that. Let us know how you get on with the scan when/ if you feel up to it. Will be keeping everything crossed for you though . Totally understandable that you feel as you do having been through the ringer before - I think we all would.

@Lovemysparkle am so glad things are going well for you - 10 weeks already - that has flown by! Won't be long until the worst trimester of worry is over now.

@RedRobin7 how are you doing now? You must be so excited about the puppy- please send us some pictures when he arrives!

@KnitKitty really glad you're in a good place - that reiki really sounds like it's done you lots of good. I've been feeling a lot more positive recently. Still get my moments of anxiety but overall am feeling more positive that this will happen eventually one way or another. Think my anxiety now is more at upcoming exams rather than anything else!
Physically things seem to have gone pretty well this month in terms of trying. Had couple of more JKS sessions & pretty sure I ovulated last night as had cramps pains and was about 24 hrs post positive OPK. Will JKS again tonight and Thursday hopefully too though just to cover bases.
Not sure what to do next month if I don't get a BFP though. One of my close friends has just told me she's getting married end of May next year so if I try for next month will be putting me pretty close to due to date for her wedding (would probs be about 9th May ish). Think she may ask me to be a bridesmaid as well. 🙈 O well we'll see.

Sorry if I've missed anything/anybody out- can't keep up!

MisBit1 · 17/07/2018 11:44

@Laney79 My DH was similar with the feeling pressured and wanting things to be spontaneous. We had to sit down and talk about it as obviously you need things to happen at certain times. We took some time to be a bit more romantic but it was still difficult at times. We forget sometimes they want to feel special too.

@Robin78 thinking of you today, hope you do something nice for yourself.

@Kintan glad you got your BFN and feel ready to start again. Good luck!

@Knitkitty I don’t think it’s weird to hope for symptoms, I’m even pleased with constipation atm although it’s hard not to find the cramps disconcerting. Your reiki session sound lovely, hopefully it’ll help things along this month!

@Redrobin7 sorry you’re feeling so low, even if the doctor won’t do any tests at this stage could you ask about counselling if you feel that’s something that might help you? Sorry your bro and SIL weren’t more supportive. Exciting news about the guide dog arriving soon.

@indreamland I’m so sorry you’ve really been through it. I miscarried naturally the day before my second scan it wasn’t what I wanted at all. I found it quite overwhelming and had to go to A&E for pain relief, I wish I’d gone sooner tbh. I bled for about a week after on and off, it wasn’t that bad once everything was out. I can honestly say I found it worse than labour so don’t let that panic you. It’s a traumatic experience so make sure you talk to someone if you feel you need to. I felt really dizzy and light headed after so you might want to take some iron tablets and vitamins to help you get through. I hope your scan today brings you closure.

@zarala that is really interesting about the scans thanks for sharing that. My midwife has already told me the epu only do reassurance scans if you’ve had 3 miscarriages or more and even if there is bleeding they won’t scan before 8 weeks. Slapped cheek is a common childhood illness - in children they get headaches, sore throat and runny noses then bright red cheeks that look like they’ve been slapped - by the time the rash comes out they’re not contagious and the other symptoms can be quite minor so lots were in school in their contagious period. It’s like chicken pox in that you become immune by catching it but also like chicken pox it carries a miscarriage risk if you’re not immune. Thankfully I don’t need to worry!

@boboelephant I read a book years ago about body psychotherapy and how it helped a woman to walk again. I can’t remember at all what it was called but it was really interesting. Hope you have a lovely holiday.

@Mrs LCW fingers crossed all is well today. It’s so hard not to worry.

@lovemysparkle glad to hear all is well with you.

Sorry to anyone I’ve missed, I’ll go back to lurking now 🐧 hugs to all who need them and baby dust to everyone x

Mistymeow · 17/07/2018 12:49

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that @MrsLCW please take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you and hoping so much for a positive outcome xx

Newbie21 · 17/07/2018 12:59

@MrsLCW totally understand the worry. Hoping and praying that all is well. Thinking of you.

Lovemysparkle · 17/07/2018 13:06

@MRSLCW Thinking of you ❤️ I really hope all is ok😘

MrsLCW · 17/07/2018 13:13

I honestly cannot believe I am saying this but By some absolute miracle we have a healthy baby with a big strong heartbeat measuring a few days ahead of where we expected 😍 Words can’t describe my relief!!! Thanks so much for all your well wishes! Xxx

Angelbabyollie · 17/07/2018 13:14

Thank you everyone for welcoming me so warmly, even thou I haven't input a lot yet if I feel I can help or advise I will! And thank you for your advise also! @Mistymeow thanks for your reply I am totally symptom spotting - I don't know when af is due as I had my angel boy 12 weeks ago today 😞 and have had no bleeding since the loss stopped.... I am just hoping to catch ovulation before af! So today the pulling sensation has stopped, was really gassy yesterday tmi sorry! And cramps like af was coming and headaches also .... but today nothing!!!!! I just don't know what's going on I am trying not to test as last did on Saturday am and I just hate seeing the single white line on the hpt. @zarala thanks I certainly have fingers and everything crossed!
Has anyone fallen pregnant after a loss before their af returned? Just wondering what the chances would be ! Xx

hayleyfx · 17/07/2018 13:30

@Boboelephant I’m so sorry this wasn’t your month. I hope you’re doing okay and remember we’re all rooting for you 100% and you have so much support. I really hope you have better news next month 🤞

@MrsLCW I’m so happy for you! Congrats, I hope you continue to have a healthy and happy pregnancy. Come over to the BFP thread whenever you’re ready 😊

Kintan · 17/07/2018 13:30

@MrsLCW Yay!!! That’s such great news :) Any idea what caused the bleeding? I’m so pleased for you xx

Blondcat · 17/07/2018 13:40

@mrslcw yay congratulations that is brilliant news fx for a smooth and healthy pregnancy x

TedLife · 17/07/2018 14:01

Oh I'm so relieved! This thread needed some good news, so happy for you @MrsLCW, here's to a happy and healthy 9 months xxx

Mistymeow · 17/07/2018 14:14

@MrsLCW I am so pleased for you!! You must be incredibly relieved. I hope you feel much calmer now x

@Angelbabyollie very sorry that you lost your little boy only 12 weeks ago. Did the doctor advise how long it may take for af to return? I hear of lots of women who fall without having a period after their loss. They do say you are more fertile after a pregnancy loss but there seems to be a bit of disagreement on this point (I was told by my doctor that I was). All I can say is the symptom spotting really didn't help me in my extreme need to fall instantly. It made the BFNs hurt that much more. It's particularly hard in the early days when you don't know when af will turn up.

robin78 · 17/07/2018 15:11

@RedRobin7 I’m glad the positive story was encouraging. I know everyone always has an anecdote but 2 losses really CAN just be a terrible coincidence. I’m doing ok today thanks. I think the anticipation was worse than the day! For me, I have found days that are supposed to be happy occasions (Christmas, birthday etc…) harder than today’s sad anniversary. Everyone’s comments on here from yesterday really have buoyed me along too. I really hope this is over soon for you. Also, sorry for confusing things by changing my name to another Robin. I'll go for another bird when we start a new thread to avoid confusion!

I can relate to what you are describing from your Reiki practioner @knitknitty. I feel like I have closed myself off mentally and physically a bit since mc no. 2. I think pregnancy opens you up in all kinds of ways and once that has been taken away it is easier to shut down from others and to try and develop a thicker skin. I worry sometimes that my thick skin has become more like a shell! I guess it is something I need to work on…

@MrsLCW Hurray! Great news! We needed something positive on the thread today.

@Indreamland - and anyone else going through mc at the moment. Do ask for extra pain relief at the EPU if you are still suffering. After a very painful first mc when I went back when my second was detected, I asked them to give me some non-over the counter stuff in case it was as bad as the first time. I got some strong codeine-based painkillers and that worked well.

Phew, what a week. Hang on in there everyone having a bad time. Better times will come your/our way. x

sweetpea0318 · 17/07/2018 16:16

@mrsLCW what a relief! I was reading the posts chronologically and had such a feeling of dread when read your first post. So happy that it all is going well for you!

@lovemysparkle really pleased it’s going well too! Time is flying!

@indreamland @redrobin7 @laney79 so sorry you’re having such a rough time. Big penguin huddle hugs to you all xx

@angelbabyollie fingers crossed for you. There are so many stories online of people catching before first af so you never know!

@knitkitty reiki sounds lovely! Glad it has helped. Have you ever read up about Chinese /eastern medicine and theory around ttc? There are different categories depending on various physical and psychological symptoms. One ‘stagnant’ sounds very much like the ‘meh’ feeling you’ve described. There’s lots of advice about how you can restore balance through eating and doing certain things. I find it all fascinating.

I’m feeling bit rubbish at the moment. Hoping it’s just cos af is here but can’t shake the hopeless feeling this time for some reason. I know women get pregnant well into their forties but I can’t help but feel that I’m going to miss (or already have) missed the boat (I’m 38, 39 in December). I keep kicking myself that we didn’t start trying sooner after my dd- even though we had good reasons to wait a little while. Just feeling bleurgh about all these things I can’t change now which I know is really silly. I’m also examining every pregnant women I see for face wrinkles to try and guess their age which is really ridiculous and I prob am looking like a complete weirdo!!!

Lovemysparkle · 17/07/2018 17:37

@sweetpea0318 we all have rhymes & reasons why we wait hunny your decisions were totally right for you ❤️ I have a ds he’s 14 in a few weeks & I was on my own from before he was born (fell for a bad apple!!) I always wanted more dc’s but I felt I owed it to ds & me to be the best mum & build a great home & future & of course didn’t want a broken heart again!! So I stayed on my own & accepted years ago that I would probably not have anymore dc I was a bit of a bitter & twisted spinster just me & my boy ruled the world 😂 but then I met my now dh my best friend my soulmate ❤️ & my dreams came alive again. Although we have been through 3 mc’s we have carried on keeping hope & we found out about this little bean a week before our wedding day!! I’m 40 in January & I’m glad to say I’ve not got any wrinkles yet😂 just keep on keeping on hunny😘 I can feel it in my water we have all good things coming 🌈🌈🌈

sweetpea0318 · 17/07/2018 18:01

Thanks @lovemysparkle I love hearing positive and lovely stories like yours! It def gives me hope when feeling down. Will keep on keeping on & hopefully will have our rainbow someday xxx

Newbie21 · 17/07/2018 18:32

@MrsLCW such a relief. Fantastic news!!

hellotoyellow · 17/07/2018 18:34

@MrsLCW that's wonderful news! :)

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