TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

[Boboelephant]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

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Thank you @hellotoyellow and @lilimum. We’re going to book a private scan which will fall just before 8 weeks. I don’t think I could wait until 12 weeks.

I’m not sure it’s really sunk in yet. Had a bit of a panic last week because lots of children in the school I work in have slapped cheek so called the midwife and she got me in for blood tests and I took the week off. She phoned on Saturday morning to say that I’m immune o I can go back next week and I don’t need to worry about exposure.

I’ve had a bit of nausea which I’ve not had this early before. I’ve had a lot of the symptoms @boboelephant is describing (wetness, bloating and light cramps) I’m sure that BFP must be on it’s way!

Ugh once again it's not my month. AF arrived this morning along with a huge temp dip. I just don't understand why this is so hard. Why is it so easy for other people to get pregnant and not me? I just hate this.

@boboelephant really sorry af showed. I was really hoping this was going to be the lucky month for you. Totally understand your frustration when you’re doing everything right each month & it’s just not happening. Hugs xxx

@boboelephant I’m so sorry af showed. It just isn’t fair. I don’t have any suggestions to help other than be kind to yourself. Jump in the middle of the huddle 🐧 🐧 🐧

Sorry I also realised I should have tagged @zarala in my last post, must have been tired last night.

@boboelephant Urgh, really sorry this wasn't your month.

@boboelephant I'm so sorry that AF showed, feeling really sad for you. Your body does seem to be particularly cruel in the symptoms it gives you which sound so much like pregnancy. I understand the frustration and despair of "why isn't it happening for me?", it's so heartbreaking. Be kind to yourself today xx

Boboelephant So sorry that it’s not your month this time. It’s so hard not to get hopes up. Sending hugs xx

Sorry to hear this @Boboelephant mine arrived during the night too. I had already accepted I was out this month but you can't help but hold on to a wee bit of hope. Be kind to yourself today.

@boboelephant sorry to hear that, it is so hard and disheartening. But I have faith it will happen for you x
@MisBit1 thanks for sharing your pg tests! Hope it's all going well, congrats on your BFP!
@zarala yes I temp! Temps are still relatively high but I'm honestly not at a hopeful.

Got a stark white BFN today on the ic at 13dpo, no squinter, so I think that might be it for this month! I did get a slight temp rise today but I am just not convinced at all.

@Boboelephant I'm so sorry-really wanted it to be your month, I feel awful for you. Big hug.

@Mistymeow sorry for the BFN. Just doesn't seem fair does it.

I'm having a bit of a down period at the mo. Always been a great believer in fate, and when we fell with bean it all felt so right, and then I lost him. So on top of the MMC and the hell that bought, I've had the news about csection funding, and also now struggling with JKS...other half feeling the pressure, even though I'm trying so hard not to put pressure on...even if I just mention the idea of a BD he feels under pressure, and that means we can have fun, but there's no prize at the end if you get what I mean. Wants it to be spontaneous, but also wants us both to shower before BD-ing...so how the hell do I do spontaneous but with a shower before?

Just feeling that fate is saying no. And that breaks my heart now I know I desperately want a baby. Doesn't help that it's my birthday coming and age is not on my side. Argh. Why is this so hard. Xxx

@RedRobin7 I'm late to this but just wanted to say just how sorry I am. It is so cruel and I know how gutting it is to have a second mc. You will get through it though and I found this thread very helpful for getting back into ttc (when you are ready).
@bobotheelephant argh. So sorry af arrived bobo!

It's the anniversary of my first mc tomorrow. Can't help but go through the run up in my mind today. It is slightly eased as I'm cd 10 and fw should start over the next couple of days so at least I can focus on that - but I'm still shuffling sideways into the huddle...

Does anyone have any advice? My temp dipped at 4dpo and has stayed lower. Is this a sign of low progesterone?

I haven’t been sleeping well this past few days - just can’t seem to drop off and lie there awake😫

@Boboelephant that's just utterly shit! I'm so sorry. It's not fair I totally agree. Sending massive hugs.

@Mistymeow sorry for the bfn babe. Seems like it's cruel tricks all round!!!

@Laney79 sorry you feel crap hun. It defo doesn't help with needing to shower before BD, because like you say it's not very spontaneous. What happens if you jump DH in the shower around fertile week? 😉

@robin78 I'll be thinking of you tomorrow... just think you could conceive your rainbow baby on the anniversary of your first! That could be a great date to remember. Sending hugs.

@Laney79 it’s so tough - I’m a great believer in fate too and when I got pregnant this time it just seemed so right. My Fertility Friend vip subscription had just run out, I’d used my last opk strip and our 12 week scan would have been just before a couple of big events where we could start telling people. But sadly it was not to be and I just have to keep reminding my myself that things were just not meant to be and there’s nothing I could have done differently. The mc has made me reassess my life a bit and take more of a healthy approach to things so I guess that’s a positive outcome of a sad situation.
I just got a negative pregnancy test (never thought I’d be happy to write that!), so will start using opk strips again in about a week to see what’s happening and if I start ovulating before my next period 🤞xx

@Laney79 it’s so tough - I’m a great believer in fate too and when I got pregnant this time it just seemed so right. My Fertility Friend vip subscription had just run out, I’d used my last opk strip and our 12 week scan would have been just before a couple of big events where we could start telling people. But sadly it was not to be and I just have to keep reminding my myself that things were just not meant to be and there’s nothing I could have done differently. The mc has made me reassess my life a bit and take more of a healthy approach to things so I guess that’s a positive outcome of a sad situation.
I just got a negative pregnancy test (never thought I’d be happy to write that!), so will start using opk strips again in about a week to see what’s happening and if I start ovulating before my next period 🤞xx

Misbit1 I'm glad you're immune. I'm also glad you were careful and took time off in case! I didn't have any nausea with the pregnancy I lost so I'm sort of hoping I feel it with my next one, is that weird? Good luck with the scan when you have it.

Oh Boboelephant I am so sorry. I was feeling so hopeful for you!!! Just try to think of it this way, each month you're closer to the one where you get the BFP! I believe it will happen for you. Bug hugs!!!

Sorry you feel you're out of the running too Mistymeow I hope AF shows up so you can get on with the next cycle. xxx

Hugs Laney79. Nothing much helpful to say other than I know your frustration with trying to JKS, it's more difficult than it should be, isn't it?

Hi robin78 are you planning to do anything to commemorate your first MC? Huddle hugs. xxx Good luck with FW.

Kintan I'm pleased you've finally got the BFN you needed. Good luck with TTC again.

@robin78 Thanks lovely. Thinking of you too, it's such a difficult time.

@Boboelephant So sorry this wasn't your month again. Be kind to yourself today. I know it's hard but please don't give up hope xx

I'm so lost and scared right now and kind of know we need to just try again to see what happens and then get the tests we need at the recurrent miscarriage clinic but at the same time I'm terrified in case they can't help us. I'm also still struggling with the first loss so having a second to add to that has really set me back. I know I shouldn't be thinking about trying again yet but at the same time my clock is ticking.

Today I've got to phone to cancel my scan and also cancel my midwife appointment. Then later I've got the doctor phoning so I can get signed off for another week. I will ask him if there's anything he can test for or suggest we do before trying again.

Boboelephant obviously that was big hugs, unless you're really into bugs, in which case you can have both...

Sorry I've not posted for a while - struggling to keep up between house move working lots of 12 hour shifts and fw JKS!

@Boboelephant I'm sorry for the arrival of AF. It's always so much harder when you're body tricks you with PG type symptoms in the 2WW. I never used to get hardly any pms symptoms but since the last miscarriage I feel like proper pregnancy type symptoms now- seems so cruel. Do something nice for yourself today. 🐧 Don't lode hope though you will get there- I have faith we all will though this endless waiting is just awful!

@RedRobin7 how did the weekend go with seeing your nephew? Hope things have eased off physically for you now.

@KnitKitty glad your fw is going well JKS wise! Hopefully this will be our month!

@Laney79 sorry your feeling low. It's horrible to have lots of knock backs with this stuff at once but is not a sign. You'll get there!

@Lilimum4 sorry about the sunburnt bum- that sounds painful! Aloe Vera all the way!

@Mistymeow & @Bobzybaby also sorry for the BFN's/AFs. 🐧

@MisBit1 fingers all crossed for your 8 week scan when it comes. Nausea is meant to be a good sign for healthy pregnancy apparently so that sounds good.

@Pancakes7 sorry you sound like your having a horrific time of it at the mo. I hope you get to the bottom of whatever is going on & get better soon.

So I've been following SMEP and OPK'ing for the first time this cycle & got my first positive OPK yesterday pm (CD14)- static smiley as am using the idiot proof digital ones! JKS last night and hoping OH is up for the next days as well. Has been a bit of an effort at times being so non-stop at the mo so not the most relaxing environment that I'd like for fw week but we'll see. 🤷‍♀️

@Boboelephant i'm so sorry it didn't work out this month, was keeping everything crossed for you. It's just so unfair. Try be good to yourself over the next few days xx

Same for you @Bobzybaby, try focus on the next cycle, we get knocked but we pick ourselves back up again, that's what women do xx

@MistyMeow sorry for bfn, hope you're doing ok?

@robin78 anniversaries are hard, I hope your fw keeps you busy and your mind occupied. Try do fun things for yourself (besides jks!) maybe the cinema? Or get your nails done or something. Reward yourself for the strength you've shown over the past year x

@Kintan glad you got your bfn, I remember that sense of relief. You start to feel things are brighter now and can look forward to the future. Hope you're looking after yourself too x

The huddle is big today i'm sad to say. Remember, we're stronger than we think and have overcome more than many people could imagine. Be good to yourselves ladies and keep reaching out if you need help or company x

@boboelephant and @mistymeow so sorry for the AF appearance and the BFN. This journey is so so hard and so so unfair. Big hugs to both of you and be good to yourselves.

@Laney79 sorry you are feeling so down at the moment. The fact that trying to do something so special and create something so amazing becomes such a process and chore is just so unfair. We're all right here with you, sister! Big hugs.

RedRobin7 Hugs! I know you have this feeling that somethings not right, but try to remember that having 2 MCs is still just considered bad luck (I hate this phrase in this situation, but it is what they say at hospital). There's no reason to assume that you'll have a third MC at the moment. I totally understand your feelings though, and I really hope your GP at least does something for you.
You still have plenty of fertile years in front of you, so don't feel pressured to trying again before you're ready. Sometimes we just have to throw our meticulously thought-out life-plans out of the window and just go along with the revised plan our body gives us. Everything will happen at the time is should happen, you don't need to rush things. Give yourself time to grieve both of your lovely little beans and be kind to yourself.
Holding your hand as you sort out cancelling appointments. xxx

@boboelephant and @mistymeow so sorry for the AF appearance and the BFN. This journey is so so hard and so so unfair. Big hugs to both of you and be good to yourselves.

@Laney79 sorry you are feeling so down at the moment. The fact that trying to do something so special and create something so amazing becomes such a process and chore is just so unfair. We're all right here with you, sister! Big hugs.

@boboelephant @strawberrye & @bobzybaby sorry for af showing. I am sure I will be joining you tomorrow.

@mistymeow sorry for the bfn.

@laney79 sorry you are having a tough time. My dh feels the pressure too. We only dtd on what should have been ov day according to period tracker and cm (not tracking with temps or opks as don't sleep well and think the pressure from opks would get to me too!) then after that when the pressure is off. I don't tell him when it's fw but after a number of months ttc he has worked out roughly when it would be.

Thanks everyone. It's so hard seeing all those happy families with their little ones, you feel all alone with it all. But it does help being on this thread. Realistically I know that it's highly unlikely we will fall pregnant until DH starts his hormone treatment (which was stopped when I fell pregnant in March). He is seeing his consultant next week so hopefully he will have a new prescription. It will then take a couple of months for the sperm count to go up (in theory).

Sorry things are not good at the moment @laney79. I hope things will improve soon, hopefully it's just a question of time. Maybe you both need a bit longer to recover from what has happened.

@TheHalfBloodPrincess I'm not an expert with temping but I think if you are not sleeping well this can affect your temperature. It looks like you ovulated and that's what you're looking for with temping. With my 2 cycle post miscarriage my temps were all really low (I don't think I ovulated) but this month they have been fine.