Over 40 ttc - summer baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

Ladies here's our new thread!

Hi all - I have finally stopped spotting at the end of my mc so I'm hoping that when I test I should officially not be pregnant now - fingers crossed. Is actually avoided having any tests so haven't checked yet...
I don't want to be a doom monger, but just a word of warning about IVF, I know you probably know this already, but just have to say it as I kind of wish someone had said it to me before starting down that road....it's not the magic answer, success rates are low even for people younger than us & the majority of people over the age of 42 that have success with it have used donor eggs... I honestly think that if you have no known issues naturally trying is as successful as ivf after 40 as that's why the nhs don't offer it...
sorry if I should mega negative, it's just that it's such a hard thing to stop once you start, so good to go into with eyes wide open.... x

Welcome mondaycando1 my friends had babies in their 44th year, little ones both under a year..
Cleozeta I'm not sure about the mums menopause history really can be reliable.. think I might have said this before but my mum was pre menopausal with really horrible heavy af that lasted 1 day.. she was 38 and had my bro.. my sis and I have both been preg in our 40's ( early) and have no af probs..
maybe we are all just having a duff month this month... 😞

So with the frers not arriving yet, looks like testing day is Saturday.....
I have less than 10% confidence it's worked!
Voice of doom!!!

Thanks chat, thats reassuring.

Hobbes do you think ivf would be a waste of time for a 41 year old near menopause? Honest answer...

@Cleozeta - not necessarily - it does work, obviously - is just the odds are much lower than a lot of people think (max approx 10ish% chance a cycle once over 40)
i would have the tests to see what your egg reserve is like etc (you can get AMH tested for about £200 I think and have a scan to see follicle numbers) and ask the clinic you had those at for their opinion. I'm not an expert, just a jaded patient... the reality for me tho is that I have the egg reserves of someone much younger, they just all appear to be crap , and no tests can tell you that...so age seems to be a big factor in terms of quality. You could be in that 10%, who knows, so I don't want to put you off, it's just that it's not the 'cure' that we all wish it was & its f*#king hard to go through and come out with nothing in the end. X

Hobbes, yeah that makes sense. Sorry you have had such a hard time with it.
I think I'll go to a clinic and get an opinion. It's bloody expensive for a 10% chance

Cleozeta I read but can't remember where... all fertility articles seem to blur into each other sometimes.. but that Mother Nature ( can be a cow sometimes) naturally weeds out the rubbish eggs, hence the lack of bfps
Where are ivf can't do that and although the eggs are good for implantation.. doesn't sadly mean they will be successful... it's just such a crap shoot 😧

Human fertility is shit isn't it.

Indeed Cleozeta, it is shit

As expected, the HCG bloods came back as negative. I’m fortunate I think in that I have a very no-nonsense Dr who told me I was already lucky two years ago to get pregnant first time with IVF, therefore would be a miracle this time. In his words ‘there is no comparison between my ovaries now and then’, I only had two follicles this time around, and 11 last time. So after one day of feeling shit, I’ve gone into Plan B mode to think what to do next.

My thoughts are that IVF is also based a lot on luck. I’m sure I read somewhere (maybe on here), that only 1 in 12 eggs at our age are viable. Therefore if you do a round of IVF and are lucky enough to have that magic one you’ll get a BFP, if not (like in my case), a BFN.

Sorry Critter to hear of your BFN, I hope you’re taking some time to rest and be nice to yourself while your body readjusts back to normal. I’m finding eating copious amounts of chocolate is helping!

Thanks Shiny for adding me to the list. I am 43 and I did make a mistake in saying I was 42 when I had DS as I was actually a few months short of that.

Not sure on the menopause thing either, my mum started really late but I think I may be peri-menopausal already!

1 in 12 eggs are viable at our age?! Oh no sounds like we're all screwed, peri-menopausal or not! 😭
Cleo-did you take vit b right after your mc or waited until this cycle? And if right after, did it affect your lp then? I'm debating whether to start it now or wait until AF and next ovulation before taking it.

Sparrow- from what Hobbes has said, you definitely beat the odds getting pregnant during your 1st round. Did you have any frozen embryos from that?

Ladies I think we need a bfp to give us all some much needed hope and keep us going...No pressure Weasle! :)

The odds are pretty crap then sparrow. You were lucky last time. What is your next plan of action?

Orchid, I waited until 1st proper cycle to do b complex, but I don't think I started until 3dpo

Agreed - we deffo need another bfp soon, we are looking bleak!!

Those odds really are bleak. Yet when people ask me (as people do) "are you going to try for another?" My instant reply is always "we're probably too old now!!" They ALWAYS say "no you're not. Not these days".

I got pregnant at 37 fairly easily and gave birth at 38. This all seemed straight forward and simple. How can the odds diminish so rapidly in so few years? I'm fit and healthy with no signs of "changing". I don't 'feel' any different.

Morning all. Just catching up - interesting conversation! The way my consultant explained it to me was that in early 40s, around 20% of eggs are still viable, and by mid to late 40s this reduces to 10%. unfortunately the decline in viability is caused by chromosomal changes in the DNA of the eggs - this is the exact same reason that we become more prone to diseases like cancer as we age- and there’s really nothing that can be done about that regardless of how fit and healthy and how good our hormones and cycles still are. The other major issue is the decline in the energy reserves of the cell mitochondria, and this is where CoQ10 and healthy diet etc. might help.
Ovarian reserve indicators like AMH can give an idea of chances, because the theory is that the more eggs are left, the more chance of there being a good one in there somewhere, and also there will be more antral follicles come up each month which again improves the odds of there being a viable egg.
It’s a pretty fucking depressing scenario all round to be honest.

I know mellon, it's the 'clff'. It's real.

Hi all

Sorry it's all a bit depressing at the moment for everyone. I'm pretty sure I'm out this month as feel like AF is due. Only dtd once too! On the plus side I did ovulate this month so feel a bit better about that

Thats pretty depressing critter. Although 20% is better than 10.

Just thinking. How bloody rediculous that the time when we (humans) are most fertile and produce the healthiest eggs, we are too young to handle the responsibility (why are we fertile as teenagers?!) And then by the time we are mature and stable and emotionally and mentally in a place to raise children, our eggs are 'out of date'. I mean, what the hell?? Human fertility was not well thought out.

Yeah Cleo you’re so right. I think the problem is that human fertility was designed to work for cavemen who only lived for 30 years and didn’t have to worry about jobs and mortgages!

10 DPO today and can't test as my sticks haven't turned up yet! What an oversight!!! However not a sniff of a symptom still, so not hopeful

Come on ladies we need to beat these odds! I'm trying not to let these numbers sink in because if I do I might as well give up so I choose to think if my grandmother getting pregnant at 44 x

Weasle- 10 dpo would be too early anyway?

With my previous pregnancies I've had a faint line at 10 DPO on a frer. Just hope they come today so I can poas tomorrow morning

Sorry my previous post was so negative, I don't mean to put a downer on our chances - I guess what I was trying to say is that come 42 chances of success with ivf aren't that much better than naturally to make it worthwhile, so IVF isn't really the answer for us older ladies unless you want to have donor eggs. As said above, I think our bodies are smart enough to weed out the bad eggs better than IVF can, unless you do PGS where they screen the embryos before transferring them.
Having been thru so many cycles in the last 2 years, I realised that we got a total of 21 eggs over 3 collections, and I was in the process of ivf for about 20 months... so basically averages out as an egg a month... the same as I would be if trying naturally, hence why I caution against thinking it's the answer. I still very much think that there's a chance for all of us & I definitely believe ubiquinol is worth taking and trying to be healthy etc - that's my strategy now!

Hi ladies, well after days of no internet (thanks BT!) i'm catching up now and must say the last 3 pages have made me both laugh and cry. Firstly Cleo's comment about why can't the oily fish be cod (with chips and curry sauce naturally) !! Lol.
I knew about the refined carbs supposedly causing early menopause but i hate brown rice.
So then after laughing about that i cried when i read Critter's news. Critter. .so sorry about about the bfn. If it's any consolation my sis-in-law conceived on the 2nd round and she's 34. Praying it will happen for you soon
Letsdothis..yes, 12 weeks before we knew about ds! I had lighter and later periods but put it down to peri-men! Then af didn't show at all in the 3rd cycle and that was when alarm bells rang! DS was in there all along!

Ps. Welcome to Sparrow and Monday.
Critter.. That comment about cavemen made me lol. So true.
The stuff about egg viability must explain my lack of fertility. I get all the signs of ovulation but never that elusive bfp. Like right now. ..tmi alert!! ...i have ewcm and cramps and when this happens we dtd when i think it might be successful but nothing. So yes mother nature is a bitch as she gives you all the signs but no joy...or are we just constantly missing ovulation? ?