TTC After Pregnancy Loss Thread 22.

[HidCat]

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A thread for all those who have suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately know as the penguin huddle.

We'll start with a roll call as there have been so many new members lately and so many success stories that I think we've all lost track.

HidCat
Age 35
TTC #2
DS 5
MC at 11wks in January
Cycle 3 post MC, trying since August 2017

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Hi TinyPaws. I'm sorry it's taken your body so long to get back to normal. IUI sounds stressful so I hope you manage to stay as zen as possible when trying again. I hope you get your rainbow soon. xxx

Laney79 sorry AF got you this time. I totally understand feeling upset. Not only is it just another kick in the teeth after what you've been through, you'll be feeling hormonal as well. hugs xxx Good luck for this new cycle!

RedRobin7 I'm so sorry you've had this upsetting situation with your "friends". I personally would see it as a good thing that they've removed themselves from your life if they're that unsupportive and childish. You don't need friends like that. Have you managed to tell your other friend who had the MC about the BFP yet, or are you waiting?

Eugh! Boboelephant I'm so sorry that happened! I hope he was suitably embarrassed!! What a stupid thing to say! Why do people have such a talent for putting their foot in their mouths?

GPS76 sorry it wasn't your cycle this time, but hopefully this new cycle will bring more luck. :)

YellowDaffodils86 Children have a talent for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time! So sorry you had to deal with that. Really hope you ARE pregnant... Good sign that AF hasn't showed! When can you test again?

@TinyPaws 🤞for a good outcome or at least a treatment plan.

@Boboelephant if it's any consolation I'm sure he was mortified! Try not to take it personally, just a bad misjudgement.

I'm going to see my friend and her 2 week old tomorrow. Actually really excited, she had a few years of unexplained infertility before successful ivf and a horrific birth but baby is healthy and she's healing, I'm so happy for her. I love cuddling newborns and I feel like it's a reminder of what I'm aiming for.

@KnitKitty i cant test till Im home so Thursday/Friday. I probably could walk into town and find a chemist but i will probably just see the next few days bring.

@TinyPaws thank you 😊

@Boboelephant @YellowDaffodils86 So sorry you were put in those situations. What a stab through the heart xx

@KnitKitty My friend is away this weekend celebrating her brother's birthday so I don't want to ruin that for her. I know that she's due to test in about a week's time but she said she didn't think they DTD at the right time so isn't expecting a BFP. So I'm not sure I can tell her this week and then I still won't want to tell her if she gets another BFN. The longer I leave it the harder it will be. At the same time we haven't told any one, only my counsellor, so I guess my friend might understand that I've not wanted to share it with anyone yet. Trouble is, she always tells me straight away because her mum died and she doesn't talk to her dad so it's just me and her brother. Anyway, how are you feeling about everything?

I've been brave and joined the March boards. My EDD is either 28th Feb or 1st March so it makes the most sense to join March. I'm nervous though. I remember being in the September board and people started announcing they were out and they'd had a MC. I thought maybe I'd made it but because I was due end of Sept, I was the last to have a scan and "hopped off" at 12 weeks. It's going to be hard seeing those sad announcements again wondering if I'll be next. Must try to be positive. Sorry if this is upsetting for anyone. I can stop posting in here if it is.

YellowDaffodils86 Ignorance is bliss in a way too, isn't it?

RedRobin7 I understand feeling hesitant to tell her, it's a tricky situation. Go with your gut.
I'd find it hard joining the pregnancy boards too. I was one of the ones who had to drop out of the October one really early on and it wasn't nice, but then others followed. It's heart breaking. Hopefully you'll be sticking around on this one though! :)
I'm ok thanks. No pressure this TTW as we only DTD once about 4 or 5 days before ovulation so just meandering along waiting for AF. Ovary pains stopped so I think it was just bad ovulation pains and have stopped freaking out about having a cyst. Feeling quite upbeat and managing not to obsess about TTC this month which I don't feel is good for me. :)

@Boboelephant that's awful-hope he felt like the twonk he is!

@GPS76 it's so tough isn't it. I'd convinced myself that I'd be extra fertile after Mmc and as we were super relaxed (we were on hols in Greece) it would definately happen. Just had a little cry. It was so easy before-we just decided to let nature take its course and neither of us were desperate to have kids-it just happened. Now I've been pregnant I'm desperate to be a mom, and my fella knows he wants to be a dad too.

@YellowDaffodils86 fingers crossed the absence of AF is due to being preggers! Keep us updated.

@KnitKitty Thanks-I'm hoping that timings work and I ovulate a little early CD 12 -we are away for a few days ending on what will be cd12 at a posh hotel for the night thanks to a competition win. Congrats on not obsessing over ttc-can you send a bit of that positivity/lack of obsession my way please 

@TinyPaws Glad you finally got your negative. Fingers crossed things settle and the clinic lets you get back to trying again.

@RedRobin7 I think that's a good move-one thing I've learnt following my MC is which friends really care-some say the words, but it's the ones who are really there who matter. You don't need people like that especially with your BFP -you need lots of love and positive thoughts.

@Lilimum4 I know what you mean about pregnant women and feeling bad. Went out with some friends today and there were lots of families and pregnant women, a couple around where idve been (23 weeks) and I felt such jealousy, and hated myself for it.

@HidCat I know what you mean about cuddling little ones. Had cuddles with a three month old yesterday-it was lovely. Also got a mate who's little boy is 11 months and I see him every couple of weeks, just adorable. One day it will be us. It. Will. Be. Us.

As for me-well this morning I was positive AF arrived (fair bit of blood when I went to the loo) but since then I've just had a tiny bit when I wipe. Did an IC hpt just in case and it was BFN (I'm 12DPO) so I'm assuming she'll hit with full force tomorrow. Trying desperately not to feel upset, but struggling. So scared that my little bean was my one and only chance (I'm 39 next month so time against me). Sorry to be down.

AF is due tomorrow, I have a frer ready to take if she hasn’t shown up.

Symptom spotting - I have cramps, come and go headache, lumpy feeling in back of throat, tiredness, and extreme pms type rage. Don’t know if my nipples are sore or if they hurt because I keep poking them to see if they’re sore😂

Really scared to POAS

@KnitKitty than you for your kind words x
@RedRobin7 stay positive. You deserve to have a little bundle x
@Boboelephant and @YellowDaffodils86
poor you, some people can be cruel! I'm due back to work in just over a week and am dreading the comments, I'm in a very male dominant workplace so I'm sure I'll get a few comments, funny thing is I'm always a supportive ear when their wives/girlfriends are pregnant or miscarry etc but when it happens to one of the girls they don't know how to react!
@HidCat Enjoy cuddling anew baby, I'm with you , I always love a cuddle!! X
@TinyPaws Fx no cyst! Xx

@KeefBurtain I have everything crossed for you tomorrow to POAS! Xx

@RedRobin7 Hold off if you're not sure. I'm sure your friend will understand and probably appreciate the gesture.

@KeefBurtain keeping everything crossed that your negative turns to a positive.

@Laney79 try to remember that women all over the world get pregnant into their 40s without too many problems. It's not as easy but very common. I'm confident You'll get there again.

@Lilimum4 you are not a bad lady. I think we can all relate to that feeling as it's hard to be faced with that you so desperately want. I find my eyes immediately averting from pregnant bellies as it physically hurts me sometimes.
@YellowDaffodils86 that's so exciting that you think you might be pregnant!! I hope that you are right! SMEP is the sperm meets egg plan. You start jks on cd8 and then every second day. Start opks on cd10 and as soon as you get a positive opk jks for 3 days, break for one day and then one more time. Also sorry you had to go through that. Words can really sting!
@Lilimum4, @YellowDaffodils86, @TinyPaws, @KnitKitty, @HidCat, @Laney79, @GPS76 thankyou all! He amazingly did not seem that mortified and just then followed it up with telling me I'd made a good choice not to be pregnant again as two can be exhausting and everywhere he looks at the moment everyone is pregnant. I just wanted to disappear. Thankfully DS chose that moment to call out to me so I escaped quickly. I know he didn't mean anything hurtful and it was just bad luck. And probably the way the wind was blowing my dress. But I can't wait until the day I can say 'yes yes I am.
@HidCat enjoy those lovely baby cuddles!
@Laney79 into the middle of the huddle for you. It's ok to feel down, we all have our ups and downs. I know it's hard wirh getting older but lots of women in their late 30s and early 40s are having babies all the time. My friend just had one at 40. You'll get there!
@KeefBurtain good luck! Have you tested yet?

Catching up after a long a stressful week away for work. So much going on! It is heartening to see some BFPs.
@redrobin7 congratulations to you. Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy. Sorry to hear about those idiots on the WhatsApp. I have found people's reactions so puzzling. Even one of my friends who was really there for me post-mcs shuts it down if I try and talk to her about what has happened. In this case it is because I think she worries about me getting upset. And DPs family, don't even get me started. Not a word from them. I find myself desperately thinking back and hoping I never acted weirdly or dismissively if someone told me they had had a mc.
Argh @bobothelephant what a knob! And how hurtful. Some people have no clue, do they...
@Laney79 I feel you. It's bloody hard. But as others have said people in their late thirties and early forties get pregnant all the time, it is just sometimes a less straightforward journey.

So my temps have dipped below coverline today- and then FF pushed my ovulation date out by 2 days making me 10dpo again instead of 12dpo- which is really odd? And actually seems wrong- anyone here experienced this? Why did it move? Isn't my temp supposed to drop now right before AF is due? So why would ovulation day change?
Any chart experts? I'm a bit perplexed!

But anyway I am now 100% expecting AF to show up today or tomorrow (as expected)
Which is annoying but I suppose my hope was very naive...

I'm so sorry @Boboelephant what a numpty! Seriously 🙄

Good luck today @KeefBurtain

@YellowDaffodils86 I love your attitude to testing! Fx you come home to some wonderful news 🤞🏽

@DaisyMay25 how are you doing? Has AF shown yet?? Will you test again?

BFN. Gutted, was so sure this was going to be my month 😢

@Laney79 waves How are you getting on? Sorry AF found you this month.

@Zarala How long is your luteal phase normally?

@KeefBurtain Aw sorry, that sucks. Has AF arrived?

@zarala I woke up with agonising cramps. Of course AF has shown herself a day early taking my cycles to 26 days now. I'm gonna spend the day in bed watching Netflix and researching what to do differently this month.

@tinypaws not yet, no.

I’m normally a 28 day textbook cycle with ov on day 14 but that’s all out of the window now. I’m 12dpo so would expect something on a frer if I was UTD.

On to next month.

@KeefBurtain so sorry for you, I was so sure it was my month too! We did everything right??? Fx for this month, looking back last month went so quickly so hopefully a BFP this cycle xx. I ended up with a bottle of wine last night, tube of Pringles and a slab of chocolate!! It eased the pain! Xx
@DaisyMay25 , sounds like a good plan for a day with Netflix! Have some chocolate too!!! Xx
@zarala I didn't temp after ovulation so not sure how it's supposed to be, think I'm going to try my hardest to temp this month , good luck to you xx

@HidCat You're right, I should wait. I'm seeing her in 4 weeks time though so wonder if I should tell her just before then in case she talks about something where I would have had the opportunity to say but we will be with an old friend and it would not be appropriate.

@ek78 Thank you! Oh god I know the feeling about DPs family. I was very shocked at the way they behaved. My MIL sent me a thinking of you text but FIL and his wife didn't speak to me until I messaged them first about my DHs birthday. My SIL hasn't spoken to me since I told her about our 8 week scan in Feb... 4 MONTHS AGO!!! She told my DH she thought I needed space and he politely told her she was the only one not to say anything. She said she'd message me... she never did!
I have been thinking the same since my MC - how did I react to my friend's 3 MCs. Was I a good enough friend? I messaged her those thoughts and she said not to worry as I was there for her but at least now I understand what she was going through first hand.

Morning ladies, sorry for those with BFN's - a bit of wallow time with chocolate and wine is def a good idea!

@boboelephant what a muppet. And Saying what he did afterwards too - there are some idiots out there!

@TinyPaws I actually have no idea how long my luteal phase is as this is my first month monitoring anything. But pre MCs, I had about 27 day cycles.
I'm having to monitor now because of a drug regimen I am on for aggressive natural killer cells to hopefully get us our rainbow...
I'm just confused as to why FF would change my ovulation day today? Surely a dip on dpo12 should signal AF and not trigger this change? I don't get it!

Eugh sorry @DaisyMay25 ! If you find any interesting research please share!

And sorry @KeefBurtain it just sucks

So I've decided to try all the different random tips and ideas I've found to help with ttc - drinking glass of grapefruit juice a day, taking cough syrup, lots of water & not too much tea, evening primrose, coq10... Anyone got any other suggestions? Willing to try the lot!

Oh & keeping my feet warm! Wearing fluffy slippers at all times ha!

Sounds like there are sooo many little tricks to try, I had no idea. Please keep sharing!
Think I might give SMEP a try in a couple of months if I haven’t got lucky before then

@ek78 thanks hun. I feel better today. New day and all that!
@zarala thankyou as well. With your chart I have had FF move my ovulation date too but not quite so late in the tww. I would disregard it and go off what you think especially as opk and cm match up. I think the reason for it is that your chart didn't have a very clear temp shift where your temp stayed higher for 3 days than your previous 6 temps. Also some of the temps you took were outside of the 30 minute window each day- this causes the circle on your chart. Fall back rises on day 2 or 3dpo can be common so charts do not always follow specific rules so don't worry. But FF gets a bit confused when they don't! I would assume the temp drop is a sign of af coming as it alway is for me. Fx for a miracle still but if not I'm sorry and I'll be here with you next month.
@KeefBurtain I'm so sorry for bfn.
@DaisyMay25 so sorry af arrived too.
I know how frustrating it is to do everything right and it still not work. We will all get there!!!!
@sweetpea0318 thanks hun. It's gearing up time!! I am going to use progesterone cream again after ov and pineapple core 1-5dpo. There is quite a bit out there about what to eat at certain times- orange foods around ovulation, warm foods in tww etc. I'm also still doing yogayin- love her!!- and going to try do it every day this month. I do the feet warm thing too! My DH thinks I'm nuts as I walk around the house in shorts and uggs! 😂