TTC After Pregnancy Loss Thread 22.

[HidCat]

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A thread for all those who have suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately know as the penguin huddle.

We'll start with a roll call as there have been so many new members lately and so many success stories that I think we've all lost track.

HidCat
Age 35
TTC #2
DS 5
MC at 11wks in January
Cycle 3 post MC, trying since August 2017

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@Boboelephant I literally echo what @YellowDaffodils86 just said... I had to pull over to read the thread properly and my god the emotions I went through!! Can't imagine how you're feeling but am SO relieved it's not over, you're still in with a chance. Please keep us updated, you have given so many of us huge amounts of support and attention over the last months and it's your turn now for a bobo centred penguin huddle. COME ON!!! This is going to be ok!!! Xxxx

Bobo don't apologise, we're all routing for you!!

Well my tww is officially over AF showed up today 3 bloody days early. Now I'm thinking why did that happen, never ever been early ever I my life.

How is everyone else doing.

@boboelephant hugs hun

sweetpea0318 I'm glad it went well for you at the gynae. Sorry it looks like AF has arrived though.

SerenaOverjoyed I'm glad they've referred you. I wouldn't blame you having a month or two off. It's such a roller coaster! If you are hyperfertile you may not even have "jiffy eggs". I read up on it after it was mentioned before and it sounds like hyperfertile wombs just welcome everything and anything where most others are more discerning, so probably everyone would lose most of their pregnancies if they got pregnant nearly every time, if you get what I'm trying to say. I hope you get some answers when you go anyway, or they at least get the ball rolling.

YellowDaffodils86 yes, I've had this thought too; women who don't want children and who abuse their bodies during pregnancy seem to have no trouble carrying to term whereas us lot would love to be parents and bend over backwards for our child-to-be and we can't keep them. I try not to think about it too much though. Life can be cruelly unfair sometimes.

TedLife I don't think one or two drinks is a bad thing so long as you don't get hammered. The first month of pregnancy the baby doesn't get nutrients directly from Mum anyway, from what I've understood.

Pancakes7 Hugs! The first month is the hardest. You'll be ok. xxx

Boboelephant my goodness I'm on the edge of my seat. I agree exactly with what Yellow said about it being like reading a book! (Hey, can someone write a novel about our little group?!?)
I really hope you're not out for the month. Will keep my fingers crossed for you still.

zarala I'm glad you're keeping busy and not finding it too hard organising the baby shower!

Lilimum4 sorry AF showed up early. xxx

I'm getting sensations around my uterus area this evening (they've been coming and going a bit and yesterday I had sore nipples), so I'm thinking maybe I'm about to have another bleed if there's something my body didn't quite manage to get rid of during my period last week after CP. It would account for the vaguely positive test that I took a few days ago. (Can't remember what day that was now.) Anyway, feeling a bit periody so would actually like to have a good clear out so I can start afresh again. Feeling a bit in limbo at the moment, though pretty zen still, so I'll take it. :)

Thanks @Knitkitty and @Redrobin7 for your advice on a drink during the TWW. Since I wrote that I've been struck with cystitis - JKS definitely has it's downsides! We dtd 5 times in a row this week so just have to hope that was enough. Think ovulation was today (got one last JKS in this morning before the the the cystitis struck!) so tomorrow i'm starting TWW properly. Having a drink is now waaay down my list of things I feel like doing!

How's everyone else doing? Hope those who are having a hard week are planning a self care weekend and looking after themselves. Is anyone testing soon and would like a little support? x

Hey you lovely ladies I have been reading & catching up with you all every spare second I’ve had!! Sorry I haven’t posted as been manic busy as it’s the eve of my wedding day as we speak!! @boboelephant & @hidcat & everyone else thank you soooo much for your well wishes for my wedding day, I really can’t believe it’s here!
For all of you in your different situations I can relate to each & every one of you but I echo what @bobo says although it’s shit time is a healer & as strong women we will always find a way to get back off of our knees in our darkest days & stand again on both feet!! Use whatever you can as a crutch to prop you up until you find your own personal way❤️
To all of you in your early/more advanced stages of pregnancy it’s so lovely to hear your updates & fantastic news it really does seem to lift us all huge hugs to you all & keep the updates coming 👍🏼
For all that needs a 🐧🐧 huddle stay as long as you need❤️
@boboelephant I am so sorry that temps/ib/af is sodding about with you from the bottom of my heart I hope you get an answer very soon. Sometimes in life there are certain people that stick out & have a special ora about them and a YOU are one of them people ❤️ I truly believe that all the women on here are fantastic but you are the sticky glue that keeps us all together & always think of us one by one❤️ I just wanted to let you know that you are a very special person & you deserve such happiness 🌈🌈 sooner rather than later ❤️
Well I had better get some bridal beauty sleep & I promise I will fill you in with everything in the next few days!! Love to you all 💐🌹💐

Have an AMAZING wedding day @lovemysparkle make sure you and your new hubby get to spend a few minutes alone to soak it all in x

@Lovemysparkle have a magical day!

@Boboelephant how very confusing for you! I do hope it was IB though. You just gonna wait until AF is due to test now?

I'm 7dpo and my boobs are killing I like to think this is a sign but I know this happens every month. I'm not hopeful this month, been so run down with a cold all week on top of working 4:30 each day (gonna spend all day tomorrow in bed) I feel like counting myself out already. Last night I was questioning if I still want to do this, I feel like I have no life right now, TTC has literally taken over everything.

I'm popping back to add another penguin on the outside of the huddle.

@lovemysparkle I hope you have a wonderful day!! Enjoy and savour every minute!

@bobo I keep stalking this thread to see how everyone is getting on, wishing you all luck and good news. You are one of the people in particular I'm routing for as you are such a great support to everyone else and have had a dreadful time. I think we also had a lot of similarities in our situations too. It took my 8 months post MC to conceive. Those were undoubtedly the hardest in my life (there were other contributing factors). It seemed like every month more people got there BFP and there were less and less of the original people I joined with. Whilst I was pleased for them and it gave me hope to see them progressing well, I couldn't help but wonder when it would be my turn. That's one of the reasons I've not checked in to give updates. I think I'm rambling now. Basically I wanted to say, you're not alone and we are all huddled round you so you can keep going and make this happen. Be kind to yourself - this is really hard. I still get upset seeing pregnant women because of what I've been through. Someone of this thread previously said "I can't give up because the prize is too great." I have no doubt that your future has you holding a beautiful little baby. Xx

@Lovemysparkle have an amazing wedding day! Really is the best day ever & hope you enjoy every minute!

@Boboelephant 🤞🤞🤞🤗 so glad it's not over yet. Hoping for you that it's IB! Here for you over the next couple of days though! 🤞🐧

@SerenaOverjoyed I second what knitkitty said about the iffy egg bit. My main way of coping with the miscarriage last time was to read up on research around miscarriage to try & get answers. And what I realised is actually the research is seriously lacking however from what has been done to date I believe the hyperfertile theory holds the most value as the likely cause for the majority of women who are prone to recurrent miscarriages but have nothing found on testing. From what I'd read most healthy women by the time they are 30 have 50% chromosomally normal eggs & 50% not in storage. By the time we're reaching 45 it's 25/75%. So we are essentially all flipping a coin with our eggs each cycle & the theory is that hyperfertile women are more likely to implant dodgy egged embryo Vs non hyperfertile women who may take a few more cycles to get pregnant but when she does it's more likely to be a healthy bean as her womb lining has been doing a successful kind of quality control function. Hope my ramblings make sense? Also even if it's a healthy egg there's always a chance each cycle that it's a dodgy sperm or that the embryo doesn't divide properly. Amazes me with the amount of chance in this whole thing that any woman ever manages to get pregnant! 🤷‍♀️

@KnitKitty sorry everything is still kind of confusing for you. I hope your cycle resets soon for you though so you can get some closure. It's really good that your zen about it all still- is definitely the mindset to have. May have to try that headspace stuff!

@RedRobin7 🤞 it is a sign. Good luck with the TWW. Is definitely the waiting is the worst part of this process I find.

Can I join this group

Age 37
TTC #2
DS 22 months
MMC April - 11 weeks 5 days - D&C 12 weeks

I'm now on cycle day 22 following first period since D&C. I didn't track anything as surgeon advised preferably to wait 2 cycles but didn't matter too much if I did get pregnant. I have dull cramps and cycle usually 28 days so wishful thinking that this is early pregnancy cramps.

@jessabean - is that true the Hyperfertile thing? I have never heard that but could be applicable to me as fell pregnant immediately with my son and it was the first time of trying with #2 and I fell straight away but had the MMC.

@daffodil77 what lovely words!
@lovemysparkle enjoy your day! Hope it's as amazing as you hope it will be!
@newbie21 welcome and sorry for your loss

I should also say that this seems an amazingly supportive group. Good luck to you all and I will try and keep up with what is going on. The TTC rollercoaster is so hard and especially after a MC.

I feel like I obsess about my cycle, about getting pregnant. When I see pregnant ladies I'm so happy for them but have that pang that it should be me with the bump now. It's lovely to know that there is a place we can all go to talk about our progress, our highs and lows.

@boboelephant - wishing you all the luck. Fingers crossed this is your month.

Hello new joiners!

Sparkle have the best day!

@Newbie21 welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss. We're all here for you to support you and get you through TTC again.

@Lovemysparkle have an amazing day today! 🤞 for a honeymoon baby!

Feeling optimistic this month. Hubby is well and truly on board and we're enjoying the extra sex 😆. Hopefully we can keep this going until we get our bfp. Would really love to be pregnant again by my original August due date which ironically I think would be the period /bfp due date if we aren't successful this month. I realise now that my MC was 5 months ago. It's gone so fast. Makes me a little sad but at the same time I've made peace with it and I'm looking forward to the future.

Morning ladies

@newbie21 welcome to the group and sorry for your loss.

@lovemysparkle have a lovely wedding day.

@hidcat glad you are feeling positive that is really hard some days so great to embrace when you do. Fx for your bfp soon.

Approx 7/8dpo here and not feeling a thing no sore boobs, no twinges just nothing. Oh well at least I am not symptom spotting .

Afraid it's not a good update from me ladies. My body was just getting my hopes up one last time but af arrived properly today. 🙁 Thankyou so much for all your support!!

@Cakelaur i wish it was a better outcome but hopefully I'll join you one day!
@YellowDaffodils86 I liked your analogy! Things are sounding positive for you so hope Tuesday brings you some good news.
@zarala thankyou. I hope today goes well. These things can be very bittersweet.
@Pancakes7 I'm glad to hear you've signed up for it. Hope it helps!
@BabynameEdie and @weasledee thanks for the support!!
@KnitKitty thanks hun. Hope if there is anything left your body let's go asap so you can start afresh.
@TedLife sorry about the cystitis! 😣
@Lovemysparkle have the most beautiful day today!!!! ❤❤❤ Thankyou for your beautiful words, you've really touched me.
@DaisyMay25 I hope it's your month hun!!
@Daffodil77 thankyou so much for coming back to say those beautiful words. That has really helped me today ❤❤ I hope you are doing well and all is great with bubs!!
@Jessabean thankyou.
@Newbie21 Thankyou and I'm so sorry for your loss.
@HidCat hope this is your month too. Glad you are feeling more positive and DH is on board.
@Blondcat fingers crossed for you too!

Hugs Boboelephant. Give yourself a day or two to feel crap and then dust yourself off again. Make sure you do nice things for the next few days and focus on everything good in your life if you can. It will happen when the time is right. xxx

@Boboelephant oh no! Eat lots of tasty soft cheese with lots of wine! I also look forward to my Brie when AF starts haha

@Boboelephant Oh no I was so hoping this was it for you! Absolutely gutted.

@lovemysparkle Have a beautiful day, lovely. I hope it's everything you want it to be ❤

Thanks @KnitKitty, @DaisyMay25 and @UnicornsandRainbows1. It's a totally crap feeling but I know I'll feel better in a few days. I will be enjoying some wine and cheese don't you worry! 🥂🧀 xx

Hello Ladies,

In the nicest possible way I thought I’d never have to come back to this thread but the worst has happened and I am broken all over again.

We went for a private scan on Tuesday at 8 weeks 2 days and were told there was no heart beat and it had stopped that same day. It was a huge shock as two weeks previously it was there.

I’m finding it much harder to deal with this time after it being the second time and from seeing a very clear picture on the scan.

I don’t know what to do really.

So sorry if this is upsetting for anyone to read, that isn’t my intention x

@PumpkinPatch000 I don't even know what to say! Fuck that's terrible. It sounds a bit like mine, saw a good hb a couple of weeks before and the last private scan measured them at 8+2 when we got our crappy news. It's so hard when you think maybe you can relax this time and it all goes to shit anyway. I really hope you guys are taking care of each other. This whole thing is just so, so fucking tough

@Boboelephant ❤️

Thinking of you lovely lady. Xx

Oh @PumpkinPatch000 I'm so so sorry. I just don't know what to say. It's so terribly unfair. We try so hard to get pregnant and when this happens it's so awful. Sending you so much love and I hope you and DH can lean on each other. We're always here for you too.

@L1zz13 thankyou lovely ❤