(Still) Waiting to TTC... Part 2!

[cupcakesandglitter]

@randomuntrainedcuntowner @rapunzel91 @summerbab @AssumeItWasSomethingClever @dottydally @NoseringGirl @Jelliestogether

Hello again! Hopefully I've remembered everyone - apologies if I haven't, get tagging!

@Pinkroseuk nope not too far at all!

I'm in a bit of a pickle - I've been looking at jobs today (getting a bit bored) and have seen a few new ones I'm interested in. Would I be crazy to look/apply now? We're so close to TTC, I'm just not sure how maternity pay would work.

@cupcakesandglitter would you postpone TTC again once in a new job? How long would that realistically delay you? Can you not put up with your current job until maternity leave? Lots of things to consider I suppose.

@cupcakesandglitter I have been looking to change jobs too as not currently happy where I am- in sure I read minimum of a year to get full maternity pay so I have decided to stay where I am for now then probably not return after maternity pay. I have been there 4 years but would kinda feel bad if I left a new job so soon I think ...
would you consider putting off ttc for the right job?

@NeverHadANickname @Pinkroseuk not too sure if I'd put it off! I work within civil service - unsure what the policy is if I move departments but stay within civil service. I'd hate to have to delay TTC, especially when we are so ready! But then if I can get a decent pay increase with a new job we'd be better off long term. I hate being torn, I don't want to be sensible, I want to be pregnant! 😂

I don't think I could delay it, my ovaries would definitely win this fight haha. Would the move not be possible after maternity? But would be a shame to slow down your career.

@NeverHadANickname my thought process exactly! I'd like to get the big career move out of the way, but at the same time there's nothing wrong with my job and a baby would make it all worth it anyway! I'm losing the plot I swear 😂

@dotty, I'm in the SE too although as you know we're currently house hunting so could end up anywhere!

I must confess I've only skimmed the past 2 pages so I can't remember who asked what - we are currently waiting until we've found a house we like/put an offer in/started the purchase process which should hopefully be in the next few weeks, plus have a holiday in August so don't want to be pregnant then. I think my fertile week might fall during our holiday though so if it does, we'll have a very action filled holiday!!

I also had no idea what my mat policy was until starting my job and like others I read it on the intranet! I've never actually had a job where they've stated it up front, I didn't think that was standard?

@Pinkrose, I'm not sure I'd put off TTC for a job but that's only because I already have a DS who is going to have an age gap bigger than I would have liked to the next baby. I've decided jobs come and go but age gaps/children don't so that comes first for me I think! But of course each to his own

@NeverHadANickname Thank you!

@rollerskaterdata of course you are! Which reminds me I need to message you back.

@cupcakesandglitter @Pinkroseuk I guess I did postpone for work (although not because I am looking at leaving), but my concerns lay with making sure I give this year my best effort rather than mat pay.

It depends what you are comfortable with. Would it make a big difference to you financially if you got new positions? If it significantly increased our standard of living I would be tempted to wait and get the new job first. If it is just that you are a bit bored/losing the love for your job, is it worth sticking it out and taking your mat leave? Although I've got a clear goal in mind, I have days when I struggle with motivation as I'm not as career orientated any more - I am much more family motivated these days.

You could always set an end date. Like 'if I haven't found a job/moved by December, I'll stay where I am and we can ttc'. Then you will give yourself good opportunity to move (if you want to) and not feel like you are postponing forever. It is also worth considering how flexible they would be willing to be if you were in a new job compared to going back post mat leave at your current place.

Where I am, it's statutory only until you've been there 6 months, something slightly better to 1 year and then full enhanced pay thereafter. But it depends what the enhanced pay. Ours is really good, being 5 months at full pay before you take any kind of drop which is definitely worth waiting for. But if enhanced at a new place isn't much higher than SMP maybe it's not worth agonising over?

I think this is a bit rambly and not sure how helpful it is. I'm just trying to weigh up the options!

I agree with @dottydally - setting an end date is what I would do. I have ups and downs with my work but sticking with it because the mat pay is very good. I've been very surprised by a friend who despite working for a very well known brand for over 5 years is only receiving statutory - they don't have any enhanced maternity at all. It is hard though as like others said, I didn't know anything about the mat pay until I started and could read the policies on our intranet. My contract/employee handbook was vague to say the least!

I'm just joining in with the group from the south east!!

After my scan, all looked normal and no concerns, had a follow up with my GP who said that everything looks fine so to go back if not pregnant after ttc for a year. Which is a bit of a pain but they just said the periods might settle down or it might be just me! Although it definitely got me and my other half chatting and definitely keen to start as soon as I'm back off my holiday to south America!

Sorry to hear lots of people stressing about deciding to move jobs and potentially wait ttc. Must be a difficult decision to make!

@Jelliestogether so pleased there are other SE ladies!

Can you remind me, how long have you been off contraception? Could it be that causing issues? (Sorry, I can't remember!)

@Jxtina86 it is surprising sometimes who does/doesn't have good mat pay!

@dottydally @jxtina86 your so right about the maternity pay and who does and doesn't have good pay is sometimes really shocking!

@dottydally been off contraception nearly a year now. I think I've always been sensitive to it as often made me feel unwell especially when I took the pill.

Hi everyone! I was one the previous thread, just wanted to read through before I posted.

I’m waiting to TTC to July because of work - that’s the earliest we can try for me to receive OMP. I work in the NHS have to be in my job for 1 year by the 11th week before due date, so can conceive at the earliest late June. Really not long now and I’m getting so excited! I’m taking my coil out in a week and then DP and I just need to be careful for a month and it’s all clear!

I’m another one in the midlands, live in Nottingham! I’m not from here though so don’t know many people and no mum friends. Have heard positives stories from people who have joined pregnancy and baby groups so will be signing up for those when that time (hopefully) come.

Today is a bad day on the broodiness front.
I'm not entirely sure why but I've found myself scouring my works employment handbook to see what maternity benefits I'll get (Just SMP [SAD] ) My lunch break has been spent trying to total up how much we need to save for all the baby things, then getting way too invested in Mothercare's selection of Travel Systems....

For the last month or so, I've been broody but could keep it under control but all of a sudden I honestly cannot wait!
Does anyone else get random spates of broodiness?

Hi Everyone, I would love to join in too :)

I'm 32 and waiting to start trying for baby #1.

We are waiting because we went on holiday to a country with Zika risks. We are a few months in on our 6 month wait. Can start trying in September. It's been a pretty tough time for me as the wait is out of our control and it would be really nice to be in "waiting" with other ladies!

Majority of my friends have babies so I feel pretty isolated at times.

xx

Hi @DoveGreylove yes it's definitely nice to chat to others in similar situations! I know how you feel about being a bit isolated - 2 of my closest friends had babies in the last couple of months and it definitely upped my broodiness for sure!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever you are not alone! I've been looking too, just to get an idea of costs. Although I read a good article the other day about second-hand stuff so might see what we can pick up when the time comes... Also I'm just so wary as to what is essential and what's just nice to have. I have one friend who got literally an entire Mothercare store at her baby shower and another who just has a pram, cot, changing mat and clothes (I'm exaggerating on both sides but you know what I mean - complete opposite ends of the scale and no idea what is the best way!)

Yes I think definitely setting a date to change jobs by is a good idea- I'm on minimum wage doing a job that is definitely worth more but no chance of a pay rise.
If I worked the hours I do now at a supermarket or shop I would have a lot more money as I don't get paid by the hour-
Changing would give me more money now potentially and possibly better maternity pay- my company is 90% men and the last lady that had maternity leave was over 20 years ago so the pay is not great :/

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever yes I get random broodiness!! Was awful last month but this month not so bad- maybe it's because it's getting nearer to my next hospital appointment which gives me some hope!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever you have just described every day for me 😂

Been off work sick for a couple of weeks and going back tomorrow 🙁 I have been working every day but still getting bored but I don't want to go back. I love my job but it feels pointless now knowing I'll be leaving at some point anyway.

@DoveGreylove I'm the same reason as you, although my other half isn't going to the zika risk and after a discussion with my doctors due to the altitude the risk is low so can start ttc the following cycle I return.

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever omg yes the broodiness definitely comes in waves...recently a bigger wave too. Probably as my friends due date is nearing so lots of pregnancy and baby talk around! Also for me I get randomly excited at the thought of ttc is getting closer!

Jxtina86
Thanks :) Yes i am practically the only one without a baby / pregnant out of all my friends so this wait is a little hard at times when a new pregnancy is announced or I have group events where they are all doting on their little ones! I'd say i have gone past broody and i'm now just desperate to TTC :( !!!

How is everyone else coping? I think you all might be a good influence at keeping me positive throughout my wait!

Ah Jelliestogether I'm so pleased you don't have to wait too long. So will it be just two months after you get back? When do you start TTC?

It's a shame my hubbie had to come on holiday with me ... (our holiday was for a friends wedding that we couldn't / didn't want to get out of as I was a bridesmaid).

I definitely get waves of broodiness and the excitement I feel is crazy - it keeps me going :)

@DoveGreylove @AssumeItWasSomethingClever I definitely get random spouts of broodiness! I end up crying because I feel so super sad that I don't have any/DH wont 'give me' any there and then 😂 sounds so pathetic but when it happens I can't think of anything other than babies!

Yep, I'm another with random spates of broodiness! Mine is quite manageable at the moment but only because I'm obsessing over buying a house! I'm either obsessing about babies or housebuying. Neither obsession is particularly healthy at the moment because it consumes my every waking thought and also my dreams I'm sure when we find the right house and put in an offer I'll be right back to obsessing about babies!

Haha, I must be on my lonesome then with not really having periods of broodiness! But to be fair I get a lot of contact with babies as part of my job, so it's not like I need to make a baby to get baby cuddles whenever I want and fortunately none of my close friends or family are pregnant at the moment, so socially it's not too tough either. Also, DH is not a huge fan of daydreaming or speculating, so there is zero baby chat. So some days I completely forget how soon it is! Only 11 days until I come off contraception

@Jelliestogether I will forever be grateful we have good maternity pay. I think I would have to put off ttc if it was only SMP 

I didn't have any physical issues with the pill but emotionally it made me a wreck. Shame I didn't realise that was the cause until I came off it! I feel so much more able to deal with things without bursting into tears now. Watch it all change when I get pregnant! Fingers crossed they settle down though. How erratic are they?

Welcome @Rapunzel91! Eek not long now! Do you think work are expecting you to go? Sometimes I get a feeling about people here. Other times it is a complete shock!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever Another one struggling with major broody pangs. I found myself researching announcements. Baby is the size of a lime/lemon at 12/14 weeks so wondering if I can incorporate that when telling grandparents. It's ridiculous I'm not even ttc yet!!

Welcome @DoveGreylove! It can be quite isolating in real life but thankfully everyone here is so lovely!

@Pinkroseuk how long do you think it would realistically be before you started a new job?

@NeverHadANickname hope today goes well! Sometimes the thought of going back is worse than actually going. Just think, not long and you'll be in the US!

@mussie you're so lucky you get your baby cuddles fix at work. The rest of us have to wait til we see friends who have children (and I have surprisingly few of those, probably due to my age) and even then we have to make sure we don't look too interested so as not to give the game away!

I was part of a conversation yesterday at work where someone voiced some very negative opinions about people having children young. I sat quietly and she obviously has no idea, but I sulked about it for most of the afternoon! She is more junior than me so it shouldn't matter but still annoyed me