(Still) Waiting to TTC... Part 2!

[cupcakesandglitter]

@randomuntrainedcuntowner @rapunzel91 @summerbab @AssumeItWasSomethingClever @dottydally @NoseringGirl @Jelliestogether

Hello again! Hopefully I've remembered everyone - apologies if I haven't, get tagging!

@cupcakes, exactly same position for me. I'm the breadwinner so staying at home is not an option. I don't mind though, I feel I've got the perfect balance working part time 3 days a week so I'm happy. I wasn't before though, I worked full time for a year after DS was born and he got so attached to my MIL it crushed me. He still is very attached to her but now I'm home more the balance is better, I know it sounds awful but I couldn't stand the thought of him loving her more than me!

@dotty, we have talked about DH being a SAHD but even though we could live off my salary I'd rather not and have the extra money! (especially if we plan to add more children into the mix more money can never be bad!). He's about to graduate and find a job in his new field so fingers crossed he finds one that's fairly family friendly like mine!

@Cupcakesandglitter Oh yes, the two day hangovers! No night out is worth that! I'm with you on the traveling. I cannot think of anything worse than spending thousands to live out of a backpack in between hostels. I'd so much rather be in front of the telly snuggled up with OH and baby.

@dottydally of course, what's your question?

@NoseringGirl does size matter?! I have this strange concern that because I'm not particularly big, I'll struggle to breastfeed? For context, I'm a 32C...

@dottydally not at all. You body produces milk to meet the demands of your baby. Some women have a larger capacity than others (so for example, they wouldn't become engorged as quickly) but that's to do with the number of milk ducts rather than size of boobs. Think of lactating boobs as rivers not lakes. That milk is always being made and your body is only signalled to stop making it when the boobs become full (which is why frequent feeding in the early days is important to establish supply). Once the baby starts taking the milk out, your body keeps making more. Even when it feels like baby has been latched on forever (which is will during cluster feeds) your body will be keeping up. Boobs are very clever!

@NoseringGirl that makes me feel so much better! I worried it would prevent me breastfeeding as it's something I really want to do. The human body is so clever!

I am so broody tonight. Our friends came round for dinner and announced they are expecting number 2. It made me sad that it's not me yet (even though I know we have very good reasons to wait). I knew it would be coming soon but somehow it's still a shock!?

@rollerskaterdata I completely understand what you mean, it's understandable!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever I'm so glad someone agrees! I feel like I'm so abnormal because I don't want to blow my money every weekend getting smashed for no reason... a cuddle and the tv will do me just fine thankyou!

@dottydally I know that feeling 😩 just try and hang on, it's not too soon till you start TTC! I know it's easier said than done but it'll be so worth it x

@dotty, just to echo what @Nosering said, boobs are very clever. Even if you have some issues in the baby's early days with feeding don't give up. DS took days to learn how to latch properly and we ended up having to mix feed (formula and breast) as a result but my boobs still made enough milk to feed him when he breastfed and I chose to stop when he was 15 months rather than because my boobs couldn't adjust to our pattern if that makes sense...although neither my boobs nor DS were particularly happy with that decision! (I'd started a new job and couldn't pump anymore). DS resisted and would stand there screaming at me and pulling at my top and my boobs didn't dry up completely for months afterwards! Needless to say it was difficult for all of us and not an easy decision to make but it was the right one for us at the time

I am glad that people have forums like this to ask questions. I have never had a baby but have done a lot of research about things like breastfeeding and it makes me sad when friends say that when they had their baby they really wanted to breastfeed but couldn't because the baby was too big and they couldn't possibly produce enough milk so bottle fed from the start or that the baby was hungry from day two so switched not understanding that their milk probably hadn't come in yet. I have never said anything at the time because people never appreciate advice from someone who hasn't experienced it and there is too much guilt around these issues as it is.

Anyway, I have my own question if anyone knows the answer, I have been thinking about it for a while. When you have the baby, how soon do you normally try to breastfeed? Is it normal to try them at the boob straight away or wait until they cry for it?

@NeverHadANickname, I'm glad we have forums like these too to share knowledge and experience in a friendly environment I'm by no mean a pro having only had one baby and therefore one unique experience, but I tried DS on the breast within a hour or two of birth. I spent around a half hour being stitched up and then transferred to the ward while DS was being looked over, and then tried after that. He was looking for the breast so that helped (he didn't cry but was sort of bobbing his head around with his mouth open!) I'm sure others on here can offer their experience as I don't know what is typical, or if any particular order is typical at all?

@NeverHadANickname @rollerskaterdata within one hour is the ideal! Mums that breastfeed within the first hour have larger milk supplies even at six weeks postnatally than those who wait longer than an hour for the first feed. Ideally you do skin to skin cuddles straight away at birth, and then there's a set order of behaviours that babies go through (here's a good list http://www.magicalhour.org/aboutus.html) and feeding is one of them. It's really quite lovely

Thank you for both of your responses and that link, it was an interesting read. More than ever I want to know as much as I can. When it would have been the NHS I had read about most things and knew vaguely how I'd like things to go, what they like to happy and what might happen if things go wrong but I'm really nervous about doing it in the US now and not knowing their system as well. I'm hoping to still try for 'my way' as much as I can (within reason of course).

I think The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League is probably the best and most comprehensive guide to breastfeeding there is. I've never had a baby and have to do BF support as part of my job, and reading that book cover to cover made me feel like a pro! And it goes beyond the newborn stage, so that's helpful too.

I'm afraid I'm no help with the US system of birth! I think it's all led by OB/GYNs? Who knows

Thank you. I'll have a look at that book and maybe get it delivered to my other half ahead of my move.

The area I'll be living has a lot of people who give birth at home due to tradition/religion. I have toyed with the idea of a home birth so might look in to that closer to the time. To be fair, the hospital does look good and I will get to chose my own midwife team and doctors and stuff I think so not all bad.

@NeverHadANickname the sooner the better for the first feed! Ideally you'll have skin to skin with your baby when they're first born and they'll instinctively look for the boob. My second latched on pretty much as soon as he came out 🤣
My oldest was fed my colostrum from a syringe for his first feed as he couldn't latch so just needed to get milk in. We had a few issues to get through but still managed to go on and breastfeed.
Might be worth finding out if you have any local breastfeeding support groups. We encourage pregnant women to come to ours so they can ask any questions they have before the baby is born and then they know where we are if they need support.

Hi all hope you don't mind if I join I had my coil removed in November only to discover my OH is working away when I ovulate (He is away for two weeks then home for two weeks whilst I have a 28 day cycle). Anyway he has a three week leave in August and hopefully from then we'll be able to get TTC baby number two. Can't believe I haven't spotted this thread before will be nice to talk to others stuck in limbo x

Also to add on to your previous convo try not to stress about breast feeding I think it's really a learning in the job kind of thing. I was put under general anaesthetic so I didn't wake for like an hour after my little boy was born the midwives taught my other half how to latch him on for me until I was strong enough. We could never have planned for it health care providers are usually really supportive of breastfeeding and for the baby it's instinct. Who's the next person able to start ttc ? X

@ImpatientMammy welcome! There's some already started, but I'm probably the next to get going, I have a week left been vaguely waiting for four years, been specifically waiting for June 2018 since December! Time flies, your OH's holiday will be here in no time. At least it will give you a good opportunity to track your cycles.

Thanks @NoseringGirl and good idea about the support groups. I think the local library has a lot going on so I wonder if they would know. I follow them on Facebook. Might get my other half to keep an eye out in the newsletters about stuff like that.

Can I join the team?!!

I have been broody for years and have always known I wanted children (since I was a child myself!)

Currently waiting as we are saving for a new kitchen. It needs doing and we know if we were to have a baby first we probably wouldn't be able to afford the kitchen.

... why do I have to be so practical!!

I'm 28 so friends are telling me I have loads of time yet, doesn't help when you feel ready now though!

Hi @ImpatientMammy @PeonyBlushSuede (love the name)... isn't it awful having to be sensible 😩 our kitchen also needs doing but I can't hold off any longer than two months, it's like my body is screaming at me to have a baby!!

Can I get some advice please? So I bought some OPKs from amazon, as well as a BBT thermometer- haven't started checking temp yet, but have been using OPKs.

Noticed every month my boobs swell up massively and go super veiny (sorry if TMI). I can't really monitor my CM anymore not too sure why. DTD last night actually and I think my cervix was quite low - DH noticed too iyswim how mortifying that I feel no shame in admitting that

Just did an OPK and I swear I can see a line - it's faint, but it's definitely there. I'm going to try and attach a pic here. On the OPK instructions is says anything lighter than the control line is negative aka not ovulating, but there is definitely a line (please tell me if you don't see it, my eyes may be hopefully deceiving me) I've edited the first pic to see if it makes the line any clearer - so difficult trying to get it in a picture!

Does this mean I'm ovulating/have ovulated/will ovulate soon? Sorry!!

Some people have second lines all the way through their cycles. Some people (like me) only get them a few days before they turn positive. You'll get used to what's normal for you after doing a couple of cycles with them. It's definitely negative though. If it was me, I'd probably see a positive 3-4 days after I start getting a second line. I do them a couple of times a day when they start to get dark so I don't miss my surge.

Thanks @NoseringGirl - I wasn't sure as every other test has been completely blank, guess I got my hopes up! How often do you test? I've read FMU shouldn't be used - but this means I'd only be able to test in the afternoon, worried I'll miss it!

I usually test mid morning and then mid afternoon as well when it's getting close to positive. I've read about people on here peeing into the packet to dip the stick in when they're out and about. That's above my skill levels though 🤣
Some people tend to get blazing positives where the test line gets obviously a lot darker than the control line. Mine never seem to do that and they're just about even but then I get a temp rise a day later. I use them partly because my ovulation day can move about a bit but mostly because I'm a POAS addict 😳

@NoseringGirl that's not a skill I have either 😂😂 I can just imagine it being awfully messy! I'm a POAS addict too - I want to test three/four times a day to get it right, but I physically don't have the time or skill to do it in a public toilet