When the going gets tough, the tough get Yams

[SoozC]

Thread five!

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

I'd really like to stay too. I've been told to keep TTC as it only takes one sperm to make it.

sooz I’ll always be a yammer at heart, even in the unlikely event of me getting a bfp ever. I’ll still be keeping this thread going on 2028 lol

I asked my FC about going into clomid even though I already ovulate as I’ve heard a lot of women do get put on it despite ovulating and it’s helped them conceive. They emailed back with the prices and for the meds, scams, follow up and initial consultation it’s pushing £900. So absolutely not bothering with that! Have any of you that are looking into IVF looked into egg sharing? I haven’t yet but a friend mentioned it to me. She said her IVF cycle ended up only costing her £150 due to donating eggs for the clinic. I personally think my eggs are probably fried which is why I’m not getting pregnant but I guess it’s something to consider if it’s possible? I can just see me needing more than one IVF cycle and need to think about cost cutting!

catherine that’s such a cop-out bit of advice. I’ve basically been told the same. Oh it’ll happen, it just takes time. This coming from a fertility doctor. Not helpful lol yes it does only take one sperm but it also takes a hundred other things to be completely and perfectly aligned too

Oh and p.s. I’m on day TWO of red bleeding! For 18 months, I’ve had a few hours of dark red bleeding on cd1 and brown bleeding/spotting after that. I had dark red bleeding yesterday which (get ready for grossness...) at one point has filled just over about a third of my mooncup as opposed to my usual half a teaspoon’s worth. The bleeding lasted morning until evening instead of just a few hours. Red bleeding again when I got up this morning, put mooncup back in, emptied it after work and it was STILL red. Not brown. I don’t even know if that means anything but it’s the healthiest looking period I’ve had since starting this nightmare.

Question though and again, sorry for being gross. Normally, my red bleed is fairly thick and would have a couple of small clots in. Then my brown bleeding is very watery. This red bleed I’ve had since yesterday, it’s different. Mostly today. Both times I’ve emptied it, it’s been thick but I’ve had what looks like ewcm (except blood not cm) and is very stretchy. Is stretchy blood normal? Lol. I’m so used to seeing watery crap or red blood that is such a tiny amount that nothing is really very noticeable that I’ve forgotten what menstrual blood is actually meant to look like

@wonky 👊 thanks for the positive start to the week! I hope we all have a better time than last week. Which basically sucked.

@si1ver hope you DH makes it back today- there’s barely any snow in London 🤞

Congrats on an actual af @bubble this sounds like a step in the right direction? My last af the first day’s blood was also gloopy, stretchy like. I’ve not had that before either but my acupuncturist seemed unconcerned. Possibly it was one of those pg that never progresses but no way of knowing. All the red sounds great for you!

I had my ivf consultation on Friday. Think we’re going to go for it. I’m terrified of spending even more money after supplements and acupuncture and it still not working but I’m at my wits end. My OH is also getting sick of TTC dtd so we just have to hope like hell it works.

@bubblegum89 are you eligible for any NHS treatment at all? I should be entitled to treatment on the NHS. When I was pricing it out it was like 7k for ivf with isci in the Nuffield but only 4-5k for an NHS hospital. What did you find?

Bubble, my af was like that with the mooncup - stretchy and gloopy (don't notice it as much with pads). Sounds normal - yay for normal!

lexie I’m considering giving acupuncture a go myself tbh. Did you find it helped anything at all?

sooz oh that’s good, I hope they stay this way then. I don’t know or understand how or why periods can go from being crappy for 18 months to actually decent and healthy looking but I’m not complaining lol

catherine no I’m not entitled to any NHS funding. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and in our area that means you have to self fund. I actually signed a petition yesterday that I was sent on fb to give people with secondary infertility a cycle of IVF on the NHS. In Scotland and Wales, everyone is entitled to 3 goes at IVF on the NHS regardless if one or both people already have kids but in England, it’s a postcode lottery. Most areas don’t have funding but some do depending. IVF is just so expensive. I was thinking of egg donation a while ago but found out about egg sharing recently and if seems a good idea. They do this near me and it brings your overall IVF cost to £1000. There’s a clinic in London that offers shoebox IVF for £2500. Other than those, I’ve found prices varying from £5000-9000 but this was in clinics and not NHS hospitals. Hopefully you’ll be able to get at least one cycle funded :)

Must have been your Hycosy Bubble (think that's what you had?), maybe it cleared it all out for you?

@bubblegum89 This postcode lottery seems so unfair. I was afraid of being told to keep trying and be sent away and started costing it out. As dh has this immunological infertility they wouldn't send us away as our chances of natural conception are next to nothing. We were told that we would have a big pack to fill out when we get our IVF appointment. The fertility consultant said we should get 3 rounds on the NHS - this is in scotland. She said our chances of conception each round should be 50-60%. I feel hopeful about the whole thing for the first time since month 1. Do you have an idea of when you are going to start? How do you feel about egg sharing?

Ugh FFS. Clearly still can't work out my cycle. Thought I was due yesterday (18th) as I had ewcm on the 2nd and sore boobs from the 5th. Evidently not as all I've had is mini-thrush and now some brown spotting.... So ladies - what's less of a headfuck - OPKs or temping?

So DH got a phone call to say that his SA results were back. But they wouldn’t give them over the phone and the appointment he has been given is the fucking 26th of APRIL.

Surely if they were okay, they would just say over the phone?

Justwaiting that might be because admin can't give out the exact results, my DH made a telephone appointment to get his

Makes it seems worth moving to Scotland. Pleased to hear your af is looking better though Bubblegum.

26th April, Just? That's so annoying.

I've had a massive run around today. Been on a training course so only a few minutes to make calls. Hospital switchboard said yes, I'll put you through to rmc. So did gynae. Antenatal answered the phone, and said there's no rmc. Which there is. EPU gave me names. Went in circles with antenatal who said to just try ringing community midwife. At which point I lost my rag and rang gp. They are going to try and get the midwife to call me tomorrow, as only day in is Tuesday, she's fully booked, and I'm 50 miles away tomorrow.

So. TL:DR, nuffink and no help. Going to ring the EPU tomorrow and try and get some sense.

@Justwaitingforaline can he get a phone appointment sooner? My husband had good results over the phone with the doctor.

@LimpLettice that's utterly shit. I hope tomorrow is better. If not cry at someone. That always seems to get things moving for me.

Husband update - still not home but apparently in the UK now.

@Bubblegum89 have you considered a foreign clinic? The prices we're looking at paying are a great deal less than £5-9k

@bubble I’m not really sure if the acupuncture has done anything in all honesty. I’m more aware of what I’m eating/supplements and keeping my feet warm! She said last time she would have expected my period pain to have lessened but it hasn’t so I’m only going to use my mooncup for 1st day heaviest flow then only pads. She really doesn’t like the idea of any blood being held/going back into my womb. I think it’s only been 10 sessions so far, and one of those was snowed off! So I’ve budgeted until end April, which should coincide with my ivf cycle. Then I’ll have to stop cause I just can’t afford to do it indefinitely. It does make me feel nice and relaxed, and proactive. And she’s a really lovely lady. 🤷‍♀️

Oh @just my OH had to speak to the doctor (all normal) receptionist couldn’t give results out so don’t panic.

@justwaitingforaline the nurse gave me ours too,the receptionist couldn't do it, it's incase you have questions

Oh no S1lver hope he gets home soon.

I've just been talking to someone in the know and they have confirmed that we could be turned down for fertility treatment due to DHs mental health. The hope that came with the referal is feeling pretty crushed again now. DH still convinced it will happen naturally.

Not been in for a while - life got tough and ttc, although still important, has fallen down the list a bit. But today I have actually made an appointment to see the doc. It’s been 15 months and 18 cycles worth of tumbleweed so far...

Sorry to see the same names still here. Lots of love to you all. xx

@pinkdonkey oh no, but if you have the support of DH team would that not work in your favour?

I really hope so.

@pink I really hope you’re fine for IVF, I still think it’s abhorrent that some people can have babies with no interference but when you need a bit of help getting pregnant they can act as judge and jury.

I dreamt last night that my sil was pregnant, she is late 20’s and just got together with a new guy. They both have kids already but I’m half expecting another baby bomb from them now.

Had doctors yesterday. Have definitely ovulated as follicles are back to normal and cervix is high, which she sounded really happy about. Got a blood test done and she will email me the results, its to see what my levels of (ah bugger forgot which hormone) are and if they are wrong then I will have to take tablets for it after ovulation each cycle. Bit worried about that, have been consistent with my L-Thyroxin but its been a tough one remembering to take my multivitamins as I have to take them so far apart from the thyroid tablets.

I seem to be 6DPO. Never been able to actually say how many DPO I am before so thats exciting in itself. AF is aparently due 27th but I don't expect it till the 30th I think. Got a holiday in between now and then at least so that should hopefully take my mind off the TWW a bit.

Going to the doctors has given me hope which I am a bit uncomfortable with as I am now noticing every twinge in my body and if AF arrives I know I will be absolutely devastated. Will be informing DH that I'll be having that day off work no matter how inconvinient, so I can watch rubbish on Netflix and sob in peace. Bleh.