When the going gets tough, the tough get Yams

[SoozC]

Thread five!

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

Well, bad news is af came again this month. Good news is we have our appointment with the fertility clinic for April! Yay!

And sorry to hear so many of you are having such a rough time. Don't want to appear like I'm only talking about my stuff

S1lver that sounds so stressful. Hope your DH feels better fast. Pink too.

Bubblegum you sound so frustrated. I'd hug you if I could.

I'm still getting faint purple lines. Darkened a bit but not much on internet cheapies. Had to pop to Sainsbury's for a few bits on the way to a friends so thought I'd get a frer. Turns out everything they do is blue dye, so went with the cheap own brand as I figure they're much the same as CB. Surreptitiously poas at friends house, 3 hours between wees. Thick, dark as control line cross in less than a minute. So I'm definitely upduffed again. With no period in between and no idea of ov. Still no rmc referral either. Fuck sakes. I'm going to try ringing the clinic tomo if I can because this waiting to miscarry again is just ridiculous and upsetting.

Thanks all again for the wonderful comments on my frock, btw. Really heartwarming.

Limp, I want to offer congratulations but I can imagine how you are feeling right now. Just sending so many positive thoughts your way and virtual hugs. We are here for you. Let us know what the clinic says x

Things feel really shit here. It's my EDD today. My first ever EDD without a baby. What's made it even harder is my DH, without actually saying it, has more or less back out of our baby plans.

It happened last night. He hasn't mentioned it since. He basically said that TTC had sucked all the fun out. I am heartbroken. I had stenciled another little person in my family. Yesterday afternoon I'd sat looking at cute little outfits (the first time I had been able to since losing the baby).

I'm hoping that he's just having a moment. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with all that want and longing for another baby if he decides it's not what he wants. He seemed so into it. I had my Mum and Dad round earlier whilst DH was out and they said I need answers as I can't live in some uncomfortable limbo and they are right.

Sorry for the rant!!

limp sending loads of Hugs, really hopping this little bean sticks for you.

@limp huge hugs, keeping everything crossed for you this time.

@looking I’m so sorry that today has been so shit. I’m dreading my EDD in June. And I’m sorry that DH is being a bit daft. I agree that you need answers either way. I hope you manage to get chance to talk properly tonight.

Looking I think I already knew that. I mean for you today. It's my edd from July today too. I've now been pregnant three times since then and still feel in fucking limbo. Obviously. But I'm sending much empathy. It's so hard. I was so positive and happy at the start of that pregnancy and it's gone so downhill. Hard to even picture how fucking innocently we celebrated. Scuse the language. I'm a bit 😬 your DH chose last night to say that but maybe the date has hit him too? I haven't reminded dp of the date, it's bad enough I remember all too well. I agree with your parents to an extent, but then I think a lot of people don't seem to recognise how hard this is on our partners too. Maybe he just needs some time.

Oh Sooz. I so wish this didn't feel this way. I'd love to see a congratulations as anything other than a panic about doing this all over again. Defo will let you know what they say.

@LimpLettice. I feel had ranting when you're having a rough time

I wish I could hand on heart say that the timing was making DH wobble but I think it's too much effort for him and I don't mean that in the bitchy way it sounds. He doesn't like dtd loads, he doesn't like cutting out things from his diet (alcohol and caffiene) and he doesn't like that it's taking so long. I don't like some of those things either but I just think of the end goal.

He made it sound last night like we couldn't have a fun life and TTC . I think it was lame to say what he said last night. He could have said it any night.

Don't, Looking, blimey. Pretty much all of us have had a shit time, there's no trumps. Well, there is here, I'm a little windy, first sign off duffedness . I appear to have been bloated, knackered and tearful since Christmas. Gah.

Hmmm. I hate cutting down on stuff too but it's just what you do. Not exactly destroying the joy in life having a bit less coffee or wine. Hard to know what to say. You always see threads on here about the one who doesn't want to try trumping (there it is again) the one who does, but implying it now seems a bit mean.

@LimpLettice. I don't mind cutting that stuff out, essentially all you are doing is living better! He basically said that he needs me to get pregnant so he can go back to "living normally" Jeez, if they knew all the stuff we gave up! He also said dtd is excessive, it's only 2-3 times a week, we haven't dtd now since Thursday and probably won't tonight either. I accept what he's saying but when I say "what can we do to make it better" he can't give me an answer from what I'm getting it's "I want a baby but I don't want to ttc"

Oh Looking I’m so sorry your having a rubbish time xx

*Limp I’m not going to say it out loud but I’m keeping everything crossed for you x

@LimpLettice got everything crossed for you x

@LookingAtTheStars89 sorrt to hear your husband is feeling that way, sounds like the date is really getting to him. Hope youre doing okay x

Morning ladies, (apart from Jaggy who I assume is sleeping after posting at 2am?? I hope you're a shift worker missy!).
This is your weekly reminder that you can handle anything the world throws at you - you got this 👊🏼.
Limp I'm still too chicken to join the fb group but hope you found something you like. Can't imagine how you must feel at the moment, be gentle with yourself and get onto that clinic asap!
Looking God it's so crap isn't it? Having to keep your own emotions in check, monitoring your temps/pants/calendar and then have to manage all of their wobbles too. I'd have bloody well reminded him of the date and how insensitive it was but then I'm less dignified than you clearly

Pink and Si1ver hope both your DHs are ok
Fairy sorry for the AF

Morning ladies. @LookingAtTheStars89 I hope things are a bit better for you today. Hope you and DH can find a balance.

Keeping everything crossed for some more BFPs for everyone.

Haha @WonkyDonk87 I was actually up late watching RuPaul which I'd never seen before 😂.

Got my next doctors appointment today, thankfully a later one than usual as of course I'm very tired!

Looking huge Hugs to you, be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve.

DH also finds dtd frequently a struggle. He's seeming quite relieved at the idea of IVF, he's even suggested a turkey baster in the past and I'm not 100% sure he was joking!

I don't feel as melancholy today. I think getting my EDD out of the way has helped. We had an unplanned dtd session last night which was hot . We also had bum cuddles before we got up which was nice. I hope everyone is feeling ok this morning x x

@pinkdonkey. I have said to DH about IVF. I said to him the other day that I don't expect him to keep up the naturally forever and that we should set a cut off date. I think he's been a bit confused about my PCOS and ovulating. I've said to him that it doesn't mean I'm not ovulating ever just maybe not every month but most women don't ovulate every month anyway.

@HidCat Thanks

@WonkyDonk87. I did remind him and we had another chat about it. I'm hoping after our chats over the weekend things have been resolved a bit.

@DoAsDreamersDo. Thanks :-)

@JaggyJobby. I feel a bit better today thanks x

Just having a quick read of everyone's posts. Hope everyone has a better week this week than last week.

Got my referral for IVF this week, just have to wait for our appointment letter now. We have been told 6-7 months waiting time. It feels good to have a timeline.

Sorry for the EDD's. I'm dreading mine.

Looks like lots of us are due to start IVF soon - keeping fingers crossed for all! Can I just say please remain a Yammer? Even if you get a bfp. I'd just love to keep in touch x

@SoozC. I can't speak for anyone else but I will be here for a while yet. I have gotten used to talking to you lovely ladies :-) If we have to do Ivf then it won't be until the tail end of next year.

@LookingAtTheStars89 bum cuddles?

Don't worry @SoozC, you're not getting rid of any of us. I haven't quite got my act together to find an IVF thread yet. Finding you lot was hard enough.

My husband is still in fucking Geneva. Two more flights have been cancelled and he is starting to run low on meds. Also my ovulation window is running out.

@Si1ver. Ha Ha yeah it's what we call spooning

@Si1ver. I hope your DH can get sorted out soon x