TTC after MC April 07 - Return to the Mother Ship

[popsy76]

Hi Ladies, thought I would just grab the bull by the proverbial horns and get this going. Hope the name is okay. MrsMc I am afraid we will all be thinking of you and your DH (and his light saber) everytime we post

Too many individual posts to go back and answer so I thought I'd start with a positive message for all of us from the March thread and for any MC newbies...

Today is my 1 month MN anniversary and I do not know what I would have done without you all. It is the ability to get on here and "let it all out" that keeps me going. I have been blessed to have found you all and whatever lies in my future - your kindness and advice will stay with me forever.

Big Love and Hip hip hooray for a fabulous new positive thread POPSY xxxx

p.s. Gilly get your arse down to london - we can drink the bars dry of Rose (purely medicinal of course )

Oh, so many posts!! I'm not sure I can catch up now.....brain like a sieve means I forget what I have read on one post by the time I've read the next...

Big congratulations to all with BFPs ! We're all going to stalk you until ours arrive!

Mrs mc!!How are you? I posted my congrts on the 1st baby thread, but not tracked you down otherwise- I'm thrilled for you!Please send some of that Scottish luck my way soon.

I went to my SILs baby's Christning on Sunday, and coped pretty well I think, but on the MIL basis I did start getting the pitying looks, and sympathy photos, the patting arm and the wistful sighs.......hope you get the picture. It really didnt make me feel better, and instead I alternately wanted to cry and scream. Oh well, I suppose they meant well but it just made me feel a complete over the hill failure - now I've hit the grand old age of 32 i think I've been written off as barren

Hope everyone is well, I'm going to write 100 lines "I must catch up and post more often"
x

Thanks all, feel better today. Went home last night after working late and had a nice dinner and bottle of wine prepared by DP and thought that really, am not so unlucky as have him and DSD. MN super-useful though - is the only place I can scream about wanting a baby and be reassured that am not going to look like a complete loon. Or at least if I do, all the rest of you lot are too, so am in good company

Hi Ellie, so glad you felt better last night - sometimes it just hits you that you are actually very lucky (doesn't stop it hurting though too)

kensgirl, massive respect for being brave and coping with SIL's baby's Christening. My SIL is 13 weeks PG now (I would have been 23 weeks) and it was so hard when I first found out she was PG. My own sisters have loads of kids (six) who I love to bits and feel no envy about because I love my own sisters, but my SIL, well I like her and all but I'd rather I was PG, not her. What a horrid thing to think but it just annoys me. She doesn't look after herself at all, she only eats chicken, potatoes and chocolate (not a morsel of fruit or green veg passes her mouth ever) and she had her scan yesterday - all-clear even though the doc said she is dehydrated (she drinks one cup of tea a day). I eat fruit, veg, omega 3s, 3 litres of water a day... Textbook PG diet and my baby dies. Where's the fairness?

Sorry, even writing it I can see how awful I am being but it just made me so mad last night when DH told me her scan had gone well (what did I want, for it to be a missed MC? The thought is too awful to contemplate) Every time I hear of a successful scan or healthy birth I think Why are all those people having healthy babies when mine died?

I feel better just for having read that back though and realising how silly I am

Hi Katy - hang in there, I completely understand how hard it is to wait for the scan and the worry and the no symptoms (this happened to me with my PG), just have faith! All will be fine - you have to believe it!

Hi nh101. Thanks for your message - I should be 35 weeks now....

I know just what you mean though about "why me"- like you I eat well, b careful over what I drink, pop the multivits, and am even religious over grapefruit juice and now on the preseed(!, how desperate do I sound..}, and my SIL lives on no sleep, fajitas and takeaways. Where is the logic in that?!

I'm on your wavelenghth with the scan thing too. I am genuinely please for my friends who are pg, and would never wish anything to be wrong for them, but sometimes can't help myself wondering why it went so wrong for me. Even though I know why.

Still, each month that passes is a new chance, and when that baby finally arrives it will know it is wanted so very much .

Hope evryone else is allright out there...x

nh I know just what you mean.

People can be so insensitive, too. I was out at a press do (darlings) the other night, and met an old pal who knows about my troubles with miscarriages etc. When I told him they'd been down to chromosanoal problems, he said 'me and the missus stopped drinking, ate organic, etc for four months before conceiving to stop that sort of thing happening'. TWAT.

The thing is I KNOW that there's nothing that can be done to stop trisomies, etc, and that they're just random, but a little bit of me thinks that it's all my fault for having a glass of champagne at week 8, or something. His kind of comments DON'T help.

Agree with you kensgirl - when we do have babies they will be extra-loved I think (that's not to say people who haven't had MC don't love them as much of course) and we will appreciate being Mums all the more for having a little heartache.
I try not to think about PG friends to be honest, or how far along I will be as just makes me sad. Am not really ttc conceive yet either as DP doesn't want to this year and I don't want to be sneaky, so am just trying to concentrate on being happy being me in my current situation, rather than making it about stuff that isn't here yet.

Crossed there herb - what a stupid man, pay no attention he is clearly an arse who knows nothing I feel very sorry for his missus.

It will happen one day, Ellie, and how sweet the moment will be!

Herbaceous- what an awful, smug, pompous thing to have said to you! Its implying its all your own fault and could have been avoided if you were that litttle bit smarter. Just what you don't need. How did you manange to stay calm?

I hope you don't mind me asking, but what is a trisomy? I have had a partial molar pregnancy, caused by 2 sperm fertilising one egg, resulting in 3 sets of chromosomes - is it anything similar?

similar, I think. Usually there are 23 pairs of chromosones. Sometimes, due a random bit of bad cell-splitting, one pair of chromosones ends up with an extra one. The most common is a trisomy on the 21st, which is downs syndrome, known as trisomy 21. I've had one m/c with trisomy 18 and one with 13.

Oh Herbaceous, that must have been so hard for you...sending you a big hug, and many positive vibes for the next one. x

My baby had 3 lots of every chromosome (46?) and so a malformed placenta too, and so had far too much wrong to ever have survived. It makes you wonder how the humanrace has got this far, doesn't it?

Dear Girls - still here!
Had a nerve-wracking day yesterday with bad AF-type cramps but they've stopped now and a test this morning showed a way stronger line than Tuesday's. so that makes me a magnificent 4+1 today... only 3 weeks and 6 days till I can have an 8 week scan...

i am sending all of you all the positive, baby-dust drenched, scottish water soaked, fertility goddess sprinkled vibes I can muster. You all are fab and marvellous and brave women.

nh any news today??? keeping my fingers crossed for ya!

on a slightly lighter note,(hope i won't offend anyone here) here's a an "inverse" version of "why her" tales. At uni, my BF's flatmate got pg in her final year. But get this:

1. she didn't find out till she was 5.5 months and had periods up till then and all she had was a slightly bloated belly like she'd eaten too much curry (in fact the GP told her she had constipation and to go away)
2. she'd conceived the FIRST and ONLY time she'd made love, a one night stand with a danish guy on a study trip
3. they'd used condoms!!

Unbelievable eh? Anyway, she now has a lovely 7 year old DD. This tale used to terrify me for years when I thought that you get pg just by saying the word "penis" outloud three times and clicking your heels together....

Made me laugh basilb! I was exactly the same for years - thought that you got PG even thinking about having sex

If only! {grin}

Herby that's a horrid thing that man said. How insensitive.

I also think our babies will be extra loved. When I was PG before, it happened so quickly I was almost disappointed that my days of partying were over! Oh how I wish they were now. But when I get PG again I will cherish every second (even those times when I could murder a white wine!)

Ellie I am also trying to be happy in my current situation, i think it is a good attitude. I have almost given up on my body now as don't know what is going on with my cycle (CD38 today, thick CM and BFN this morning)

Hi Basil - hang in there! I am really pleased for you. Can you have a scan at six weeks? That's what I was offered.

I got BFN this morning but feel pregnant for some reason. Big boobs and shooting pains, cramps have gone away and getting all sorts of funny CM, I keep rushing off to the loo thinking it must be AF.

That's mad about the PG woman at uni!

So I am CD38 today, getting really thick CM. It is five and a half weeks since my period (first one after mc). The thing is, I OV'd five and a half weeks after coming off the pill, so maybe I am OVing now?

Will BD tonight just in case!

Hello Ladies hope everyone is well. I?m having a scary day I was exhausted last night after meetings all day and went to bed truly knackered. DH is away on a Stag and normally I can?t sleep but I slept like a log last night. Woke up when I alarm went off feeling really rough and exhausted and with a stuffy nose. Temped and got an alarming 36.0. A drop by 8c from the day before. Well, I freaked. Dropping temps can be a sign of MC as they often mean that the progesterone levels are dropping. I tried to reason with myself that it could be for many reasons but decided to stay at home and go back to sleep. Temped again when I got up at 9. same low temp I otherwise just feel sick and tired but that could well me nerves now! There is no point trying to get medical reassurance as they think it is nonsense at my GP and the EPU. Just wanted to tell someone

Will now try and catch up with you? lots of work to do but just cannot concentrate

MrsMc - totally feeling for you and there's no point me saying this because it won't help but Don't worry!

Of course you are exhausted, you are PG.

And maybe the EPU think it's nonsense cos they see hundreds of women who are freaked out by dropping temp when actually it has been nothing to worry about.

Fingers crossed for you.

MrsMc oh god, how stressful for you!

Your scan's on Tues right? I know this is REALLY REALLY difficult but the important thing is to RELAX (like I can talk) And I would stop temping, chuck your thermometer away. It's not an infallible method and this could WELL just be a blip. Look how crazy by temps were, going up and down.

Try and imagine how you'd be feeling if you didn't have this temp info? Still fine right? You have no other symtoms to suggest there is anything wrong so PLEASE try not to panic. If the EPU / GP think temps are unreliable there must be a reason for it!

I wish I could give you a big big hug

Popsy ? hope you are ok hon

EllieG ? hope you are feeling better than the other day your job must be very very hard sometimes G&T can help! Your priorities sound right hon it is out 1st anniversary tomorrow and though DH is away and I am gutted we keep getting lovely cards and flowers and it just reminds me how lucky I am to be so happily married to a fabulous man, that is my first priority

Nh101 ? hello there is no fairness hon, there really isn?t there is only luck I think. Fingers crossed for you, things sound good.

KatyH ? it is so hard having faith that all will work out when it didn?t last time, I know exactly how you feel, sending hugs.

Kensgirl ? thanks hon, I?m praying for a strong one. Can understand how you felt with your MIL being like that, it?s not helpful is it? How are you feeling these days? Are you ok? x

Herby what an ignorant twat!

Basil ? glad you are good. I have my own life sucks story: at Uni, a week or so after coming off the pill after years, one random night , using condoms I got pg. Didn?t know until I was 6 weeks or so I chose not to continue the pg and I still feel, even given what I?ve been through since that I made the right choice for me. Hope I have not offended anyone. Sometimes, in dark moments, I think my MC was divine retribution .

Thanks for your posts and reassurance ladies. I have never felt so sick but part of that is sheer fear I think. Got an appointment through to see the Consultant Obstetrician today - told myself that is fate, it means all will be ok but I am not sure I believe it

MrsMc got to go, but will be thinking about you all day hunny

thank goodness you have an appt today, please keep us posted

Stay strong - IT WILL BE OK!!!!! xxxx

Sorry the appointment is not today, it is 5/7 but I got it through in the post today!

oh mrsmc, I wish I was closer to give you a hug. It can't help that your DH is away- you must be desperate for a cuddle from him. I know I won't be able to say anything to put your mind at rest, but temping can be unreliable, you might be a bit under the weather and you said yourself you slept differently. Basil had a good point about temping and how you would feel if you hadn't been temping and not seen the dip. I'm so glad for you that you have a scan on Tuesday though it must seem ages away for you. Are you on your own all weekend if DH is away? Will be thinking of you on your anniversary!

I hope I didn't offend you (or any other scots). It really is only my MIL putting me off. We have tried to have breaks elsewhere in Scotland but DH seems to hit some guilt button at the last moment and tips them off as we cross the border. I recall arriving at a cottage in the middle of nowhere, lighting a log fire, opening a bottle of wine..... just to see headlights coming up the drive and MIL getting out with an overnight bag!!

Sorry to hear you all have crap MIL stories too- though glad it's not just me. I sometimes wonder if I encourage her bad behaviour!

nh sorry about the bfn, this long cycle must be doing your head in. Fingers crossed that the pg symptoms are a good sign though. Is work any better today?

basil thanks for your good vibes. Glad the cramps have stopped, its such a worrying time isn't it? I am no good at being calm personally, I'm easily startled.

popsy - hope you enjoy the wedding- sounds like you'll have a great weekend. Are you taking the pearl thong??

herby glad you are feeling brighter. How did the acupuncture go? My hormones really seem out of sync so I'm considering having some treatments.

and hallo to anyone I've missed off.

It's CD11 here and supposedly time to get busy but DH woke this morning and was sick and my stomach has been gurgling away all morning. I hope we're not coming down with something at this crucial time!!

MrsMcJ
Just to add my bit - remember temps can reflect loads of other things as well as dropping progesterone (mine drops loads when I'm tired) or you may have a cold coming (everyone up here seems to have one at the mo). (Hope that isn't irritatingly obvious). I completely understand why you are scared but hang on in there. In my first preg I had a tiny bit of bleeding at 20 weeks which fortunately came to nothing but I spent a whole day basically lying on my bed listening to whale music and trying to block out the terror.

On another note, AF here for me today but can't say I'm surprised. Off to GP next week as have waited nearly 18 months with no intervention, convinced stress is the problem. Will feel a complete idiot if it is something easily treatable....

Just a quick pop in to say hi to all! Just wanted to say to BasilBrush to try not to worry about AF type cramps. I had a small bleed at 5 weeks which was followed by AF type cramps for 3 or 4 days. Obviously I panicked! But MW told me that it was probably caused by baby burrowing into my womb a bit more (getting itself comfy!) and was quite normal. My friend had the same with both her pgs and MWs told her the same thing. Hers were fine and my tadpole was fine at 6+6 when I was scanned.

Hi Beckle! glad to hear things are going well for you.