TTC after MC April 07 - Return to the Mother Ship

[popsy76]

Hi Ladies, thought I would just grab the bull by the proverbial horns and get this going. Hope the name is okay. MrsMc I am afraid we will all be thinking of you and your DH (and his light saber) everytime we post

Too many individual posts to go back and answer so I thought I'd start with a positive message for all of us from the March thread and for any MC newbies...

Today is my 1 month MN anniversary and I do not know what I would have done without you all. It is the ability to get on here and "let it all out" that keeps me going. I have been blessed to have found you all and whatever lies in my future - your kindness and advice will stay with me forever.

Big Love and Hip hip hooray for a fabulous new positive thread POPSY xxxx

p.s. Gilly get your arse down to london - we can drink the bars dry of Rose (purely medicinal of course )

Girls, thanks for all your kind words
As you all know only too well, i feel a bit jittery esp since, realistically, I can only be 10 to 12DPO.... I'm going to do a couple more tests over the next week to make sure this isn't just a chemical pg
Not sure when I'll feel brave enough to set foot on the Due in Feb 08 thread (if it even exists yet!) so think you'll be lumbered with me for a while
When I had m/c, EPU said that "next time" I would be entitled to an early scan. Wasn't really paying much attention at the time and forgot to ask - how many weeks is "early"? 7,8?

Thanks MrsMcJ - you didn't get my back up at all, it is really helpful to have some support. Funny how the emotions do come in waves, just as everyone says. When (if?) i do get pg, I will never be complacent about fertility again. It is such a miracle it ever works....

MrsMc- as always you are so wise and kind.

Slightly worried about all this 'scottish water' malarkey - does this mean I have to go and visit my in laws again , I usually try to put off visits as long as possible! When we do go up, DH gets so wound up by them within hours we usually have to climb a mountain to avoid them- I've lost count of the times we've sat on a summit in the driving rain and fog wondering how long we can feasibly stay there before we have to return to them at the bottom! I guess ttc in waterproofs could be a new challenge!

Basil, I'm not surprised you're jittery! and do stay around, I'll miss you. I think a heartbeat can be seen from about 6 1/2 weeks onwards. Before then, you would see the sac but no heartbeat so would have to come in for another scan which, if you're anything like me, would leave me in a panic wondering if there was going to be a heartbeat or not. See if you can last til 7 weeks. I've read the mc rate drops to about 2-3% once you've seen a heartbeat which is some reassurance. Right I'm going to attempt to CAT you.... this might take a while, I'm crap at things like that!

just popping on to say congratulations to MrsMcJnr - i'm so pleased for you [smile .

Hello to Wheely and Gilly and everyone else, hope to see you on the ante-natal threads soon x

Hi Torres
Don't talk to me about In-Laws, I would rather stick forks in my legs that visit mine... My MIL had 5 kids and not one m/c, all her labours lasted no more than a couple of hours, pop pop pop, out they all came like peas...She wasn't very impressed by my 30 hour labour and emergency c-section with DS I can tell you. I didn't tell her about m/c as I'm sure she would have been equally unimpressed and probably think it happened because I don't go to church ( i jest not)
Thanks for your wise advice. I am going to have to base my dates on LMP i think as I really have no idea when I ovulated so that'll mean 4 weeks tomorrow. I'm going to ring EPU at 6 weeks and try and get an appointment for 8 weeks. Don't want to leave it any longer than that as will be going abroad for 3 weeks after that.

Hi Basil, my surgeon told me to go for a scan at 6/7 weeks and that it was 5% chance of MC if you see a heartbeat at that stage. Not much consolation for me as I saw a heartbeat at 10 weeks and my baby still died

I feel very sad today. Went to see friend who has just had a baby, she is beautiful. I am not sad cos of that, I am pleased for her. Work is sh*t, and I just feel like crying. Have done twice today already.

Hopefully it is PG hormones (CD35 and still no sign of AF, cramping has stopped for past two days... still hoping)

Hope everyone else is doing OK - I feel like I don't give others support, I just moan about myslef, but it is because I have to keep my posts brief or my boss glares at me for not doing my proper work!

Good in-law story - my MIL said that maybe my baby had died cos I still had chemicals left in my body from the pill (got PG straight after coming off it) because the pill works "by rejecting the embryo not by stopping conception"

Not only is that a really horrible thing to say ("you killed your own baby cos you were too impatient to wait till you'd had a period after coming off the pill) it is also utter bollocks!

My mil asked a doctor who goes to her drama club what a miscarriage would be like at my stage of pregnancy when i mce d, i could have throttled her when she told me it couldnt have been that bad as there was barely anything there

Nh101 ? fingers crossed for you. Poor you, you sound like you need a hug, sending one over ? work is so unimportant in the scale of things hon I can?t believe your MIL said that and what a load of nonsense anyway! My own mother told the whole family that I lost my baby either because of ?lifestyle? or because DH had drugs in his system from his back operation in November. She also added that it was amazing I got pg at all considering how wound up I was about it (which I was not ? I hadn?t even discussed TTC with her!) I was really but then realised that because I was the first person in my family (and she has 4 sisters and there are 8 granddaughters) to have a MC, she had to find a ?reason? even if it was a hurtful, cruel one

Gilly ? I?ll be if you don?t look me up when you come up for the Festival!!

Basil ? answered your question on the other thread but hello again! MIL sounds like a farm animal meanie aren?t I! LMP is the safest bet and certainly what the drs will go by. Keep safe!

Iwillbe ? good, would have hated to upset you, MC is such an emotive subject. Do think in terms of whens not ifs, I know it is no conciliation after a loss at all but the fact that you have fallen at all marks you out from so many other women who cannot get that far ? you will be a Mummy

Torres I don?t know about that! about the in-laws, you could always visit another part of Scotland!! Some lovely weekend retreats . Judging by our weather though, the parcel from Basil may well be soaked in Scottish water ? that might help!

Hey Peanutbutter thank you!! how are you these days?

Spugs why are older women so awful to younger ones? It?s as if they must have had everything much worse and much harder in ?their day? and we are just fluffy and ridiculous about everything. My Mother drove my sister insane in her first pregnancy by telling everyone she was 2 weeks less pg than she was because that was how it was calculated ?in her day? ggggggggggrrrrrrrrr!

Oh Spugs, that's horrid.

Thanks MrsMc - you are always so good replying to everyone.

Hope everyone is good today. I keep getting twinges in my boobs like they are expanding.

Phantom symptoms probably

Hi Ladies, gosh so much going on...I have been hard at work...okay sod it - I have been for a wax and manicure ready for wedding tomoz and
Loving the MIL stories - i think it is their job to make us feel better about ourselves - add to that the fact that they are jealous of the woman that took their darling son from them and no wonder they feel the need to bring us down!
Trying to stay positive - hope you are all doing okay - nh I'm crossing eyes and toes for a BFP for ya!!!

mrsmcJuniordoctor i have cat you so i can ask some questions without boring everyone here with my lady bits and their need to do my head in

nh hang on in there hunny!! you could still get that BFP

hey basil how are you? God I remember you and Torres joining us all that time ago - was thinking has been over 2 months since my ERPC bloody hell! Are you keeping sane or are you totally batty? Whenever i think about the posibility of being PG again I get tears in my eyes - not joy but fear about going thru it all again . I want you to tell me is all fine IYKWIM but I know it must be hard?

Hello girls.

Glad you're all bearing up, to one extent or another. I'm joining the mad symptom-spotters, as I've been having sore boobs, sickly feelings and cramps. In many ways I hope it's not for pregnancy reasons, as with my history it will prob go wrong again. But one can't help getting excited, if one is mad.

What does anyone know of Foresight? It seems to be a 'charity' which helps couples with fertility probs through herbs, vitamins, and stuff. Some of what it says, though, seems at best alarmist and at worst plain wrong. Like basically intimating that if you drink at all your baby will be born with 'malformations', as it calls them. There seem to be a few organisations making money out of vulnerable women in this position, though I'm sure many are genuine...

Having my first session of acupuncture tonight, to help with egg quality, womb cosiness, and general post-miscarriage hormone craziness. I'll report back. Just hope I don't cry over the nice man. Though, actually, I've suddenly started feeling loads better over the past few days. Like a switch has flicked in my head...

Just popped in while having a sneaky lazy moment at work and seen there is another Scottish bean on the way! Congratulations Basil! There's alot to be said for the Scottish water (and the post-coital yoga moves!) but I predict the fertile Scottish rain will be spreading south very soon . I'm keeping everything crossed too for the symptom spotting crowd

Oops, better go, just been caught doing non-work things Will come back soon.

P.S. Herby - really glad to hear you got the appointment. Now don't leave the office till you've got what you wanted!!

Glad to hear you are bearing up well Herby. Keep on smiling.

Popsy ? enjoy that wedding!

Herby ? you are sounding great I am so pleased! I hope tonight goes well ? it all helps the mind too not heard of that charity but from what you have said, I think I?d steer clear.

Hey Katy

Ladies, I?ll be without you tomorrow as I am away on business all day, see you Friday

Hi herby so chuffed you are feeling better - is great when that switch gets flicked eh (also maybe is fab PG hormones coursing thru your body - fingers crossed eh?)
By mrsmc have a fab weekend
Hi kathyh how's the PG going?
I am stuck surfing google for medical info - I think I have cervical erosion and docs are crap I can't be bothered to make an appointment - think may have been damaged in ERPC? Has anyone had this? I had cramps and yellow clear CM last month (and thought very strange). This month is still loads of cramps and mid cycle bleeding but brown (sorry)...am going out of my mind but am worried am only hoping is this cos then means i may have OV after all this month so still have a chnace of being PG (and am sympton spotting like crazy but trying to remind myself how shit i felt last month when was ding same then AF arrived).
Phew - long one sorry!
p.s. sun is shining at last - is enough to drive a girl to a large glass of Rose all this bad weather!

I've had a crap day. Sometimes I really hate my job because it really pisses me off that loads of feckless useless people who are horrid to their children keep having them when I lost my baby. Am working with this horrid couple who spend all their time drinking and fighting and ignorning their kids (who are completely, completely lovely) and it's very frustrating.
Sorry to rant. I'm not usually this nasty and judgemental about my clients I know they've just got problems but it seems unfair sometimes.
AND I WANT A BABY. So there. In the absence of one I am going home to have a G&T instead. And possibly a cry.

hey ellie - long time no chat - poor you job sounds foul - i think you are really brave just turning up everyday! IKWYM about shouting I WANT A BABY - no one understands this like us [hmm. Go have that G & T and think nice thoughts about how fab you'll be when you are a mum - you could even write a list about all the nice things you'll do

Hi Ellie, know what you mean about hating work but yours sounds worse than mine right now.

Let's say it together "WE WILL HAVE A BABY!"

Get DP jumped!!!

Ellie, that is soooooo understandable, think of it as judging their behaviour rather than them Personally, I don't know how you do your job, I would find it soooo hard to bite my tongue!

Popsy, was it you that mentioned that comedy sketch where the woman shouts 'I WANT A BABY!' in the middle of the dinner party? It's funny but so close to the bone isn't it? I nearly did something similar in the garden centre the other day when I was surrounded by newborns and pregnant woman and was suddenly overwhelmed with wanting one too . I know I'm pg again but it really doesn't feel like it. I have no symptoms at all and having had something so statistically unlikely happen before, I now think every thing else is inevitable. I think I have mentally prepared myself for a missed mc. Just 4 weeks till the scan though...sigh

IKWYM katyh - was really thinking that hardest thing will be being PG again as you have to go thru it all again with the added knowledge that not only CAN it go wrong, it DOES go wrong. However, the rational side of me says that still a good chance it can go right and I am all for the power of positive thinking! You could just say to yourself that you are going to enjoy this PG anyway as you know worrying won't stop anything happening - and think of all those lovley vibes you'll be sending to your little beanie!
Luckily i haven't seen that sketch in a while - would make me cry now i reckon!
It is a long and difficult road to motherhood for us MC-ers but at least it isn't lonely - am sure there are masses of women out there going thru this alone!
xxxxx