TTC after MC April 07 - Return to the Mother Ship

[popsy76]

Hi Ladies, thought I would just grab the bull by the proverbial horns and get this going. Hope the name is okay. MrsMc I am afraid we will all be thinking of you and your DH (and his light saber) everytime we post

Too many individual posts to go back and answer so I thought I'd start with a positive message for all of us from the March thread and for any MC newbies...

Today is my 1 month MN anniversary and I do not know what I would have done without you all. It is the ability to get on here and "let it all out" that keeps me going. I have been blessed to have found you all and whatever lies in my future - your kindness and advice will stay with me forever.

Big Love and Hip hip hooray for a fabulous new positive thread POPSY xxxx

p.s. Gilly get your arse down to london - we can drink the bars dry of Rose (purely medicinal of course )

CBFM: is clearblue fertility monitor. its a hand held devise that tracks your oestrogen and lh levels and gives you an indication of your fertile days.

lh surge: is the surge of the luteinising hormone that signals ovulation will happen about 24-36h later.

i'm just desperate to conceive after m/c which is why i'm doing all this tests.

i got preg. last time after 8mth ttc and the mth i got preg. didn't do any of the tests. so go figure!

i am considering locking the CBFM and throwing away the opks (ovulation prediction kit that detects the lh surge) for my next cycle!
hmm maybe

you are very lucky to get preg. 1st attempt i'm envious wishing you best of luck hope your ttc jourmey will be a very short one

My stats are:
Am 29. PG in dec - wasn't trying was a (very) happy accident
Missed MC on 02/03/07 - went in for D & C on 03/03/07.
Have had 2 28 day cycles since so looks like my system working normally, which is good.
I don't understand the acronyms either nh so don't feel stupid

hi ellie. it's good that your cycles are normal again. so sorry for your loss. i m/c a couple of weeks before you i'm terrified about ttc again but so so wanting a wee one. still up and down emotionally. dh is very understanding and loving but he's very worried that i'm getting obsessive about ttc and will plunge into depression again. are you actively ttc? v v best of luck if you are {hugssss}

hello ladies!

I'm 33, no kids, pg 1st cycle in december on honeymoon so a happy 'accident' and no dreaded symptom spotting as too busy and too ignorant! missed mc at 11 weeks, 1st erpc 27 feb, 2nd 20 mar, AF 25 Apr.

Now CD 21 and feeling like AF is going to arrive at any moment. I had a day of delusional symptom spotting yesterday, but the cramps are so painful today and I feel so AF-y today, I'm not hopeful. Cycle was wildly irregular even before mc(21-31 days)

MrsMc- glad the appointment went well. You are bound to be nervous but it's good you are being looked after weekly so they can keep an eyue on you. Can't believe your mum thinks you are making a fuss about nothing!! Mothers, eh?

Thanks my1stbaby I don't think we really are. DP doesn't want one til next year but I am hoping to persuade him otherwise as am desparate for a little one. I wonder if am getting a bit obsessive about it too sometimes, am finding it really hard to get back to normal. Last year I had a 'depressive episode' after a really difficult series of events and I can feel myself slipping a bit again sometimes. I feel a bit fragile at times but DP is lovely and understanding as he can be, but he can never understand quite what it's like as it wasn't inside him, and he's got over it really.

Hi ellie- sorry to hear you are feeling fragile and myfirstbaby- that you are feeling nervous about ttc. For me, ttc again was the only way I could lift myself out of the sadness after the mc. DH was very reluctant saying he wanted time to catch his breath but at the end of the day he didn't say no to bding so hopefully I'm in with a chance soon. I agree it's different for dp/dhs- they didn't carry a bay and feel their body changing. Nor do they have to spend every moment deliberating over every possible pain/symptom. Although they grieve too, they don't have as many daily reminders in my opinion anyway.

I think I am some what of a control freak and like the idea of gadgets- thinking of getting a monitor too patkica and katyh. But it's only our 1st cycle of trying after mc and dh is already expressing concern over my obsessiveness regarding getting pg so I'm not sure he will approve.

Hi Ladies, gosh we are all very talkative today - I am a bit bleary after a couple of large glasses of Rose last night. Patkica oops you are right - I suppose I should be staying off the sauce too but is just so good for relaxation and i think that might be the most needed thing for me at the mo arghhh. Had a good chance to chat about it all though which really helps - I like thinking about what it felt like to be PG as that makes me excited to be PG again - can't believe am gonna go through all that 12 week wait thing - will have to enjoy it this time rather than obsess over it (who am I kidding ha ha)
Hi KatyH so pleased you are back with us. I know what you mean about taking a break from MN. I sometimes think I am obsessively compulsive about posting and can't get on with work (I reckon am OCD about much in life anyway so nothing new there ). Then I think about how much it has helped just to hear other peoples stories and share mine with people who know just how i feel!
I do like to take time out sometimes just to remember that MC is not only thing in my life (as feels like it sometimes )
MrsMcfabulouslysaneandzen How are you babe? Sorry the hozzy mucked everything up - not suprised you felt you knew more than she did - you are the font of PG knowledge. Was same when I first met local midwives - I wanted to burst out laughing at how old school and mumsy they were - they have the right idea though eh as scientific knowledge can be a bit of a curse sometimes (ignorance is bliss and all that). They were saying "well i think you can't eat brie and should be careful with sea food (no shit sherlock)" and I wanted to know if it had been scientifically proven that breaststroke can be dangerous when PG ha ha
Off to meet students and have 4th coffee of day oops
xxxxx

Ellie, my DH is the same; he's upset about the m/c but I think he's more upset for me as I wanted it so badly IFKWIM? I am kind of tethering on the brink of a depression. I recognise the symptoms now having been there a few times. I haven't discuss the whole m/c experience with anyone really. DH thinks I should get help from a therapist but I'm a bit unwilling. I know the only way I'll feel truly better is to get pregnant again. No therapist is going to able to give me that We are considering IVF due to my age but it's so expensive and I might need to do more than 1 round.... Just thinking about that is making me feel low again. What an emotional rollercoster ride TTC has been for me!

Hi torres. my 1st cycle after m/c was short:24days. I've heard that some women get regular cycles after m/c when they were irregular before. For some women it's the opposite. Each one is different I suppose. I was very regular before m/c. Kind of fed up with my body at the mo. Just want it to get back to normal again for a fair chance ttc.

My1stbaby - I went to see my therapist a couple of weeks ago and was really useful actually - helped me getting it all off my chest to an impatial person. Am going back in a couple of weeks and think I will need it.

Glad therapist helped you Ellie. I'll think about it seriously. Problem is I'm already spending huge dosh seeing a chirpractor about my bad back and ankle. If we are going for IVF then have to save up every penny otherwise can't pay the mortgage! Already spending a fortunate on all these ovulation kits, vitamins etc etc... DH has drawn a boundary: no shopping for clothes for now and NO chocolates . Don't mind the chocs TBH, need to lose weight I put on during pregnancy but the shopping bit is quite hard. DH got an interview this Fri and am considering going to the shops on the pretext of looking for a new shirt for him . Naughty, naughty slap on the wrist!!!

Can your GP not refer you for not-private therapist? Mine is free provided by the state thank you very much

Really? My GP is not very sympathetic. I m/c on a Sat and saw him on a Mon. He said 'oh, well. can't do very much for you except log it into your records'. Also went to see him later as was worried AF didn't come after 6 weeks. He said just to wait and it'll come. grrrr told him I was depressed and having imsomnia. Asked if i wanted pills. I said no and he just said to come back if I still feel the same after 2 weeks. Needless to say I didn't bother! No mention of therapist at all. Maybe I should ask to see a lady GP...

I was also very disappointed with the mid-wife. She came to see me when I was 5 weeks pregnant and scared me silly with all the tests for downs and statistics that go with it. Freaked me out so much that I couldn't relax throughout the pregnancy. I still nurse a guilt that I might have m/c cause I was so freaked out and stressed! Rang her soon after m/c but she didn't bother to call me back with info or anything. Felt very let down by everyone.

That's a shame, it really made a difference to me how I was treated after. I was very lucky in that everyone (except for one old man GP) was brilliant, really sympathetic and understanding. I live in Jersey, so I don't know if the services you are offered are different, but I went to GP and asked to a ref for the Psychology Dept which is part of health services over here.
Maybe think about a change to lady GP? I have found mine to be v good.

Thanks for that Ellie. I will make another app at GP and ask for a lady dr this time.

Ok, got to dash to chiro. Am going to get so wet.. it's chucking it down here.

Will log on again when I get back!

If you have had several messages from me, pleae tell me: mine keep failing to send, but I will try again.

Depression Had it for years so if anyone wants to know about it, I'm your woman, ask away.

Mrsmac Lovely to hear from you and good news about hopsital, though obviously not perfect treatment. I'm sorry I didn't write to you directly in my last message. I don't want you to feel obliged to stay here if you think it would be best to move on, but of course I never want you to leave (in the nicest possible way). It was good to hear about your 40 day cycle: I think that's what mine is turning into and it's good to know I'm not the only one.

nh101 pregnant on the first go is amazing and must bode well for future pregs.

myfirst You should be able to get some help on the NHS. My friend got clomid and was pregnant on round one after ttc for over a year. She was 41 and that was all on the NHS. I was raving about good GPs a while ago. Mine is fantastic and I think we are all entitled to that at least. Good idea to try to get a woman.

Torres hello: I'll add you stats too.

I think I have OCD over this too, but I think that's ok because it will pass. There is nothing wrong with trying to give yourself the best chance and for me, trying to feel a little in control became really important after the mc. With my 2nd pregnancy, I was really organised and ofcused and get preg on the first go. That's not bad for a 39 year old, but I reckon it was mainly down to tracking and OPKs and all that.

Popsy Everytime I see a bottle of Rose in the supermarket, I think of you

My1stbaby I think the key to getting counselling on the NHS is to demand it! I think it is like anything, until you have been to the GP about it a few times they won't do anything - they hope you will just go away and get better on your own and not cost them any money! Deffo go back and keep going back until they realise it is easier to refer you than for you to keep taking up their appts.

My stats are:
Aged 29. PG in Jan - got PG first month after coming off the pill
Missed MC on 21/3/07 at 13 weeks (baby had died 10+4)

• went in for D & C on 22/3/07.

First AF came four weeks six days after D&C I think I might have ovualted yesterday so am very hopeful that I will be PG in a couple of weeks. Am I right in thinking I might get BFP 11 days after ovulation?

My DH is also worried about me, thinking I am going a bit mad about getting PG again. But I am an OCD type too, total control freak, so I don't think there is anything wrong with me (that getting PG again won't fix!)

I never knew there were so many of my fellow mentalists out there....is nice to know am not the only one
Best of luck with that nh - although I thought the best time to get PG was prior to and on ovulation date? But I know nothing much so could be very very wrong.

Agree about thinking about popsy every time see some rose though!

Hi Everyone

Im so fed up today and embarassed . First of all a collegue of mine has been to her midwifes appt today and come back all happy and cheery. My EDD was 27/10 hers is 3/11. I should be the one coming back and being all happy and smiley. Its just not fair. Anyway she sat at her desk and all the women of the office went over to her rubbing her stomach and asking her questions about the pregnancy. I feel like there ignoring me as they dont know what to say. But i dont want to be ignored. I went over to my collegue and asked her how it went. I ended up in floods of tears in front of her. I was so embarassed . I just want to be pregnant. We all do. Its just so unfair. I dont (normally) have any problems getting PG its just staying PG that i cant manage to do. I hate my body for letting me down . Anyway rant over.

Patkica - i took the ADs for a few days and then Dr told me to stop because im now back on antibiotics. Something to do with the ingredients not mixing well . Im hoping to start taking them again once ive finished the ABs. Im hoping they make me feel better. Depression is evil. I did see the messages left for me but couldnt reply. I was at my mums and couldnt remember my log in etc.

Hope everyone is ok. Im on cd 5 and according to issies chart my most fertile dates are next week. Oh DP will be very happy

My batch of 20 HPTs came this morning. Im a POASaholic

missn, {{hug}} here for you honey. if you want to chat you can CAT me at any time xx

missn, {{hug}} here for you honey. if you want to chat you can CAT me at any time xx

Aww thanks hun.

P.S what is a CAT . Im guessing that its not the one that goes miow xx

its a service that mn provide. but tell you what, heres my email [email protected]

Thanks hun xx

I was wondering about the CAT too. Ditto for me MissN - is a rough time for you and any support you need take it. Know how you feel - every time I see my PG supervisor I feel like someone's punched my in the stomach and I have a big sad knot there.

any other ttc ladies who want to chat can us my email too x