Where there’s a Yam, there’s a way

[Bubblegum89]

Thread numero four-o.

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shall not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shall not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shall not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shall not be offended by strong language

• Thou shall not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shall not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if they do so.

Welcome and welcome. We’re all very nice and friendly despite being horrible bitter old cows ☺️

Massive hugs Sooz ❤️

Sorry to hear you are struggling Sooz. I found the info graphic below helpful to think about when I've been feeling the same way. Please don't suffer alone x

Thank you so much guys, I can't tell you how much your words mean. DH is back now, I'm so happy. It was such a shock to realise how much I fall apart when he's not around; I'm usually the strong one.

I'm struggling to find a counsellor who can see me in the evening. I work full-time: Wednesday or Friday at 11am is not going to happen! I feel I need it though, going to keep looking.

I've booked an initial acupuncture session this week as well, so it feels good to be doing something.

Oh, I also bought some sweet potatoes to make fries this week, because, you know, I'm desperate now!

Hi ladies, hope you don't mind me joining you here. Sooz and Milk pointed me in this direction . About me: I'm 36, TTC#1 for about 10 months. Know that isn't long but currently waiting for nhs fertility appt after DH sperm results came back v poor, and I have 'dysfunctional uterine bleeding'. We're keeping on trying in the mean time but feels a bit pointless until we know more. So fed up buying vitamins and opks! I must've spent a fortune so far!!

Sooz Have you looked into telephone counselling? I had some at a tough time in my life and actually bought it worked as well (if not slightly better) for me xx

You found us, Chook! Welcome :)

DH has been lovely - totally understanding and sympathetic and giving me lots of hugs just like I needed yesterday.

Just, not looked into it. I think I'd prefer face-to-face, somewhere neutral so I'm not getting all upset at home. I will keep telephone counselling as a back-up though, I've seen some numbers in my searches.

Hi @chooklass. Hope you don't mind me asking what dysfunctional uterine bleeding is?
I finally made an appointment with my GP last Friday as we are up to 12 months and reluctantly accepting that we might need help. In between making the appointment though I found a couple of breast lumps so had to use the appointment for that instead. Another fun trip to the breast clinic for me. Plus I'm having spotting and cramping so guessing AF is going to make an early appearance tomorrow. This was the last month to get a BFP and be eligible for my organisation's maternity leave due to a short contract so I've feeling very fed up. I might just go back to bed!

Oh sooz I'm so sorry about how you're feeling - and glad the others had such wise words. Do keep talking about it here in the meantime - but good for you for being proactive in seeking further support. DH's hugs are probably what you need, but sending a virtual one now anyway xx

wonky sorry about the tests - how are you doing?

Are you thinking about any pregnancy tests for yourself bubblegum or have you planning to stick to opks to see how they progress? What a pain in the arse that your cycle's messing you around like this

Welcome chook though sorry things are up in the air with TTC - 10 months is a frustrating point either way; hope you get to see a fertility consultant soon - have you been given an idea on the waiting time?

Sorry about the possible AF nothing - when do you see the clinic? I hear you on going back to bed...

• are you planning...

Welcome Chook

Thanks for asking @QuietTime - feeling pretty damn miserable tbh. Fecked off with my body 100%. Thought a weekly test would be sensible but now seems it just brings disappointment and frustration. Where oh where is my AF??? 😒

Thanks for the welcomes!

@nothingbutwhitetests I bleed lightly from about 4/5dpo to AF, have done since my late teens and after various tests in my early 20s that was the specialist's 'diagnosis'. It seems to be my normal and even happened when I was on the pill, despite docs telling me that wasn't possible! Very frustrating and I've learned to live with it until TTC, when I can't help but feel it must be a problem. How can the bean stick with that happening? I hope everything goes okay at the breast clinic for you.

@QuietTime We got a letter a few weeks ago to say they had our form and that we may have to wait 3 months or longer. Totally understand that we're not a high priority considering NHS strain at the moment but hope we don't have to wait too long! We were lucky to get preliminary tests by GP pretty early on because of my weird bleeding and as DH had a testicle removed as a child, so mustn't grumble too much!

I just got AF yesterday and had totally got my hopes up this month because I felt sick for days and everything tasted weird (which I've never experienced before). I guess it was just a stomach bug! I'd given up symptom spotting and poas months ago but it was all too tempting this month and I fell off the wagon!. xx

Welcome Chook

Sorry Sooz that you’re feeling so low x glad that your DH is home now to give you a cuddle.

I’m feeling a bit lonely irl at the moment.i was out with my friends yesterday and they’re all mums and I realised that all they talked about was their children and one of them kept tellling me not to have children because they’re hard work, and only one of them knows that we’re TTC and I suddenly felt like I no longer know them. Aargh, I just feel rubbish this month.

QuietTime I did a HPT yesterday morning and it’s as as negative as you can get lol so I think I’ll keep doing the opks and just hope they don’t get any darker!

@Milknosugar1 I am day 12 now and had EWCM yesterday but still no positive OPK. In fact - only the faintest line. Very frustrating.

@dreamers your friend is very insensitive to say that to someone who doesn’t have children. Some people just don’t think. Hugs x

@bubble sorry for the bfn. I was really hoping it was a bfp for you this time.

@milk the surge only lasts 12hrs so it is easy to miss especially if you only test in the morning or the evening. I test in the morning and after work and usually manage to catch it.

LH surge doesn’t last 12 hours for everyone - it can be considerably shorter or longer. But as soon as the second line on my OPKs starts to get darker, I tend to do 3 or 4 a day so I don’t miss it....I even do them at work! I’ve caught the surge every time....not that it has done me any good at all so far!

@Sooz I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling so down. Glad DH is back now.

Hi @Chook, welcome!

@Bubblegum, when is your hycosy appt again? I have my first fertility clinic appt Wednesday morning and I am actually starting to cack myself now that there is something really wrong with me. I have got the usually pre-AF spotting, it’s been going on for a few days now. A couple of gps have told me this is normal but I’m unconvinced. I think I either have low progesterone (and actually, my day 21 results were in the normal range for progesterone, but the lower end of normal), or my tubes/lining are fucked by scarring. Fuck fuck fuck

@Pibbee I'm interested to know how your appt goes - I also spot before AF (from about 5dpo) and have had 'normal' day 21 bloods but they didn't give me a figure. Awaiting fertility appointment.

This spotting malarkey seems quite common... I also have spotting before at, but it's basically the whole luteal phase! This cycle I spotted on dpo 2, 4,5,6 and 8,9,10. 9 and 10 were almost light periods with red and clots. I always find it difficult to know whether to count the last few days as day 1, or not because often it stops for a day or two before af comes properly.... when I've counted it it messes up my charts a lot, and says that every other cycle is about 3 days long with no ovulation.....

My progesterone last cycle was 26 so borderline. Should get my results from this cycle today. It's weird but I'm hoping it's worse - because then there's actually a problem to be treated. Does that make any sense?

Ugh wonky what a ball-ache - how long has this cycle been now?

dreamers I'm so sorry you're feeling like that - and that you can't get more support from your friends. Do you reckon you'd tell any of the others about TTC? I haven't told my friends yet, but think I'm more inclined to discuss it these days if kids came up (luckily not many of my closest friends have them, so they don't come up often)

milk good luck with speaking to the doctor about the thyroid test - hopefully it's either nothing to worry about or something that can be addressed and get you closer to your BFP

rubber good luck on the test results - and definitely felt the same when I was waiting for mine :)

Sorry about the bfn and opk tests bubble and biscay