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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Where there’s a Yam, there’s a way

995 replies

Bubblegum89 · 08/01/2018 21:55

Thread numero four-o.

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

  • Thou shall not arrive one day and post BFP next day
  • Thou shall not give advice to others when TTC for one month only
  • Thou shall not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways
  • Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month
  • Thou shall not be offended by strong language
  • Thou shall not tell everyone to eat yams
  • Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

  • Thou shall not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if they do so.

Welcome and welcome. We’re all very nice and friendly despite being horrible bitter old cows ☺️

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
RhiBee29 · 21/01/2018 16:51

Well AF has rocked up 2 days early Angry next ovulation date falls on my due date had I not miscarried Sad

MynameisJune · 21/01/2018 17:01

@bubble I like your stats much better, i’ll try and hold onto that instead!

@rhi sorry for af rocking up early and for the up coming Edd that didn’t work out. This whole thing is shit. Big hugs x

DoAsDreamersDo · 21/01/2018 17:08

Yes, sorry but I much prefer a 95% success rate x

Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 21/01/2018 17:21

I’ve just yelled at my OH. He called me ungrateful because he got me the wrong cocoa powder and I moaned about it (standard PMS) so I told him that I was sorry I’m so touchy today but it’s because my period has shown up yet again and it’s his fault.

He was the one who pretty much forced me into a corner RE the termination and I told him there and then that I would never forgive him for it. I KNOW the reason we can’t conceive is because of that or the complications I had afterwards. Whilst I was begging him to change his mind, I told him I’d known people who had had terminations and then were never able to get pregnant again and that I was scared of that happening but not even that changed his mind. And now look where we are. 15 months in and nothing to show for it.

I feel bad for being mean because he does feel guilty about it now and it upsets him that he made me go through that but sometime it gets too much. I love him and although obviously it’s also partly my fault for being stupid enough to listen to him, had he not made me feel like I had any other choice, a termination would never even have crossed my mind. I’ve never got over it and sometimes it just boils over, especially because my worst fears about it have come true. God I’m such a bitch. He’s downstairs sulking and I feel like I should go down and apologise but I’m also too stubborn

OP posts:
Pibbee · 21/01/2018 17:47

Awwww @bubblegum so sorry to hear that. How long ago was it if you don’t mind me asking? Must have been such a hard decision to make. You are not a bitch AT ALL Flowers

Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 21/01/2018 17:56

Thank you Pibbee It was in 2015. It was surgical because I left it quite late (14 weeks) due to me literally begging my OH to change his mind, even reading him things off the internet about how it would have fingernails etc. A few days after I had it, I got an infection. So either the surgery or the infection has done enough damage that I can’t conceive. The termination was devastating enough, to have this as a consequence kills me. I’m just lying in bed in the dark by myself, crying. I thought I was better than this but I’m just miserable. All the time.

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MynameisJune · 21/01/2018 18:09

@bubble that must have been really hard to go through and then to have the TTC struggles afterwards it’s hard not to see a correlation between the two.

Have you thought about counselling for you to try to deal with it and move past it? Bringing it up even sporadically in a negative way can’t be good for either of you.

Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 21/01/2018 18:20

June I’ve considered it but it’s not the feeling of guilt or sadness about what I did/he made me do that hurts the most. It’s not having the baby here like it should be. No amount of counselling will help with that. I do feel really bad for saying it out loud to him, usually I just think it instead. I dunno, it’s just baby bomb after baby bomb then my sister sends me a video of her baby kicking in her stomach and then having cramps from hell and pms’ing... it just kind of came out. I hate having to be brave all the time and be happy for everyone announcing pregnancies. There’s only so much I can take before I just snap lol

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NewSense · 21/01/2018 18:30

Oh bubblegum I'm so so sorry :( that's so hard :(

I sometimes find that I can only apologise for "the way the conversation ended up", because I actually don't want to apologise for feeling or thinking the way I do, because you're justified in having those feelings and you shouldn't actually have to apologise for feeling that way.

Massive hugs though :( Flowers

RhiBee29 · 21/01/2018 18:38

Sends lots of hugs @Bubble

I cannot talk to DH about my infertility fears he just tells me I'm being stupid and to shut up, I feel like he dismisses my concerns because he's too afraid to face up to it.

MynameisJune · 21/01/2018 18:45

@bubbles you don’t have to feel guilty or sad about the termination to seek counselling. They will help you deal with any emotion at all. It’s a huge thing and it might help to talk to someone objective about it.

@rhi that must be hard and it’s unfair of your DH as well. My DH is similar in that he always tells me it will happen eventually. He has none of my worries about my age going against us or a too big age gap. But he has had his SA and he is willing for further testing come March/April if still no bfp.

Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 21/01/2018 19:10

Thank you ladies. We had a chat and we both had a cry and he said he knows this is his fault and he feels horrible about it. I didn’t say I was sorry because I’m not sorry for the way I feel but I just said I was fed up of having to be brave all the time and he said it’s okay to be sad. Fight over but now I’ve got to get rid of my huge puffy red eyes before work in the morning

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FairyAnn · 21/01/2018 19:29

So sorry you're going through such a rough time bubblegum I feel for every single one of us here, surrounded by baby bombs, pregnancy Instagram pics and Facebook baby spam 😞

I am thinking how to be productive...currently looking to redecorate my house and actually thought about creating a CM colour chart, like they do with paints, for women to keep next to the loo. 😊 I swear, I haven't looked at my wipes so much since I was 14 and waiting for my first period...

We could give them daft paint names too; Milky Whisper, Sunshine Swipe, Rose Hum, etc.....

Milknosugar1 · 21/01/2018 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 21/01/2018 20:50

@Bubblegum89 I understand. I had a termination a long time ago when I was 19. Even though I'm convinced it was the right thing to do at the time, I can't help but think that because I did what I did maybe I deserve this struggle that I'm going through now -even though I know deep down that's ridiculous. It's so hard.

Be kind to yourself Flowers

RhiBee29 · 21/01/2018 21:06

Just ordered his'n'hers conception vitamins...it feels proactive and like we're in it together. The cocktail I'm currently on and dh's standard multi vit obviously aren't doing anything special so we'll give these a whirl.

MynameisJune · 21/01/2018 21:10

@milk I just literally lol’d at your post. I don’t blame DH for not getting how hard TTC is for me. But he is pretty good at picking me back up when af arrives and helps keep me positive. Luckily DH is still loving the FW 🙈

LexieJean · 22/01/2018 08:12

@bubble glad you talked it through with OH 💐 sending you a hug.

@rhi my OH is pretty laid back about the whole thing too, seems convinced it will just happen and I’m like “heellllooooo?? 16 cycles in?” I also have to nag him about taking his pre-conception vits cause he’s rubbish at remembering! But then I told him how expensive they are and it’s important so he’s a bit better!

FW for me and OH has SA on Thursday so no dtd! Talk about shit timing! We literally made a sex schedule last night- super romantic!

Pibbee · 22/01/2018 16:41

Hello all Yammers!!

@Lexie, when my dh had his SA he was told no DTD for 48 hours beforehand. So, that means you can DTD tonight/tomorrow surely or have you been given different guidance?

I had what I thought could have been some exciting new cramps on my left hand side this morning. However I also have low-level backache which probably means impending AF. According to Ovia my AF is due Friday, but that would mean only a 26 day cycle and mine are sometimes a couple of days longer. Also I have a feeling I might have ovulated a bit later than usual this time. I haven’t had the usual pre-AF spotting, and sometimes it has started by this point in my cycle. That said it sometimes doesn’t happen at all so that mean jack shit, basically.

I’m also really cold and actually googled whether or not being cold is a sign of anything Hmm I think it’s more likely to be a sign of air con, frankly, than anything baby-related....

DH SA results on thurs and he is nervous...

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 22/01/2018 16:42

So after I spent my small fortune on the CB Advance fertility thingy it turns out you have to program it right at the beginning of your cycle so I will have to start it next month anyway.

Then I meant to hold my wee so I could do an OPK when I got in but I forgot and went to the toilet! Will have to start from tomorrow CD8. The things we do when TTC!

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 22/01/2018 16:46

@Pibbee is your DH SA through the NHS? We're considering private which is about £150 or could wait another 6 months to be referred on the NHS. Seems like it might be worth paying it now to rule certain things out and then if anything comes up could take the results to the NHS maybe.

Pibbee · 22/01/2018 16:56

@Biscay yep all been done on NHS so far. Tbh his side of things has been very quick (well, it took forever to get him to actually phone up to make the appointment Hmm but can’t blame the nhs for that!) - his appointment was scheduled for just a few days after he phoned them, and the results take 2 weeks.

I think that if you would need to wait another 6 months and you have the option to go private then do so. I think it’s sensible to get the initial tests done quickly, to identify/work on any issues, rather than potentially wasting cycles.

LexieJean · 22/01/2018 17:08

Oh yes @pibbee we’re go for tonight! 😬

@biscay I was jiggling up and down today at my desk waiting to meet the 4hr hold!! (Cd10) but the number of times I’ve plain forgotten and then had to start my 4hr hold all over again! 🙄

Pibbee · 22/01/2018 17:40

I hate holding my pee!!! I also hate reducing the amount I drink so that said pee isn’t too diluted. OPKs are nuts. Last time I had too many positives for my liking, and this is what makes me think I may have ov’d late.

I’m in a whatsapp group from another thread on here, and our first bfp in that group has gone into labour today! Everyone is very excited about this!

I have my first appt at the fertility clinic next Wed and I don’t know what to expect! It’s on the nhs...Anyone got any hints on what I need To say/do/prepare?? I’m gonna push hard for whatever I can, I’m 37 and don’t have the luxury of years and years at my disposal.... I just don’t want the appt to be a waste of time, I want To feel like it’s productive even tho it’s only the first one. I am going to go armed with my test results to date, and DHs results too....

FairyAnn · 22/01/2018 18:52

Well, I think I'm out this month. Dark brown spots today, AF due Wednesday. Plus hormonal as hell and stomach cramps 😞