Where there’s a Yam, there’s a way

[Bubblegum89]

Thread numero four-o.

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shall not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shall not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shall not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shall not be offended by strong language

• Thou shall not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shall not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if they do so.

Welcome and welcome. We’re all very nice and friendly despite being horrible bitter old cows ☺️

@sooz you’re going to evoke my in feminist now 🙈 it’s your body. If you want a tattoo then get one! My DH doesn’t like tattoo’s certainly hasn’t stopped me getting them.

*inner 🙄

That's gorgeous, bubblegum !

sooz my DH objects, but I'm getting it where he'll really not notice it much, if at all!, so I might not even tell him when I've had it done and see if he ever notices...

@bubble your neck one is lovely.

I've never felt the need or want for a tattoo but reading the thread I suddenly thought it was a good idea to remember my angel. So DH may be fine with me getting it, I've never broached the subject. I wouldn't get it without him knowing and I'd rather he didn't mind so will ask him in April if I still want it and we aren't preggers again. I know it's my body but I still want to talk it over with him :)

I think remembering them however you want is good. I toying with a small snowdrop somewhere as they snowdrop poem was a comfort when I had my miscarriage. DH bought me a snowdrop bracelet as well just after.

Thank you june and newsense :) I would post a picture of my deathly hallows one bit it’s a new tattoo so it’s in its crusty, flaky stage right now haha

Sooz I do think that it’s a really nice idea :) I’m sure if he knew it was to remember your little one, he’d be more than happy for you to get one. I got my lotus flower done after years of uhmming and ahhing because this ttc journey was absolutely flooring me and I wanted a visual reminder that I CAN get through this no matter how hard it is. I say visual, it’s on the back of my neck so I can’t actually see it 😂 but I know it’s there.

Hi ladies! I love this, missed posts from yesterday as crazy busy only to catch up and finding myself wondering how a turd tattoo would look on my inner wrist! 😂 That might be taking it too far @milk @bubble yours is gorgeous. I have 2 and my OH is too chicken to get one himself. I like the idea of treating myself each af but it’s already getting very expensive! This month I got trainers and jeans should I get jeans, what if I’m preggers and they no longer fit so I might just have to wait and see more pics from you guys. Who’s getting a yam tatt?!

Ooh, I'd like a deathly hallows tattoo except I'm a wimp and wont be getting a tattoo anytime soon

No sign of af...wtf? I didn't even poas, I was so convinced it was coming.

Not sure about a yam tattoo. I just googled sweet potato tattoo and some of the pictures are too weird. Better than a turd though!

Has anyone got any advice or support? Mums friend is late 30s and has had several mc this year ttc for #1. This is heartbreaking and I really feel for her, infertility is rubbish. So every time she brings said friend up we then we discuss how lucky I am! As I am "10 years younger" or "at least you aren't having miscarriages". I am 19 cycles in, with not even a hint of a bfp, 7 months post first gp appointment and I haven't even got my referral to fertility services yet. I do not feel very lucky sitting here with my cats thinking about getting more cats. Any words of wisdom?

@catherine1988. Hmm. It's not a competition, yet some people are always making unnessecary comparisons:

One person: "I have depression"
Second person: "At least you don't have cancer"

What has that got to do with anything?!?
Everyone is entitled to feel what they feel! You feel sad and frustrated - you are allowed!

My Mum is the least supportive person in the world. She will say "you already have children" or "you don't need anymore children" or the ultimate "some people never have children you know"

Oh @catherine that is really tough. Obviously your heart goes out to the woman who’s had repeated mc but @stars is right- you are entitled to your own feelings too. You can acknowledge that TTC is SHIT.

I take it your mum knows you are TTC? Can you try saying something along the lines of “they are two different things and I don’t want to compare them as it’s like my own feelings then become irrelevant”? Im sure she’s just trying to be supportive and her heart’s in the right place. It’s such a tricky balancing act. I get so irritated with my mum and her ‘help’.

Whatever you say I suggest you say something to your mum. Best of luck 🌺

That is it exactly! I don't see the need to compare at all. Each person's journey is different and affects them in different ways.

We told my mother in law this week that we had been trying for a good little while and were seeking help and she said "why are you even trying?". God forbid we try and breed 😆

I find the comparison harder, I just said I think infertility difficult for everyone. What more can I say

@lexiejean mum has known for about a year, when we had been trying 6 months. I found that month the hardest and was the last time I did a pregnancy test.

She has been really helpful recently, I had the most horrific hycosy and she was lovely It was agony, I bled for weeks after and had antibiotics. I actually had to take time off work because of it.

This month she kept asking if af had come, when it was coming and when it came she was disappointed. I don't know if she is realising this might be difficult or might not happen for us.

Hi everyone,
bit of a lurker here.
TTC #2 for 9 months with one very early miscarriage. 2 stressful jobs (with a lot of travelling for DH) and a 2yr old makes it statistically harder to conceive I know but at what point to I see the GP?
I'm 35 so I'd not OLD but older than I was...

@catherine sounds like it’s great for you to have your mums support. Your hycosy experience sounds awful, I hope you’re getting back to ‘normal’ cycles now?

I find it hard to take support IRL as I’m finding TTC all consuming and as no one I know is in same situation I don’t give them the chance to try and understand. I just assume they’ll be like the others and just not get it!

I agree that the need to turn everything, including TTC into a competition is so frustrating! one of the reasons I don’t use FB anymore is so I can’t see everyone’s edited perfect lives!

@lexiejean She has been great and I do feel lucky that I can talk to her. I might have to try and approach it differently like you say.

Hi @fizzy13 I think you can go to gp whenever but i think they starts tests at 6 months if you are over 35. Someone might know differently.

Comparison is annoying and ridiculous. And pointless. They're is only one person in the world who is the absolute worst off, so surely that means nobody else has any right to complain about anything ever?!! There's always someone about whom you can say, "ah, well I know you lost all your limbs, are homeless, have cancer and your child died, but this person also lost their parents, so really, you're lucky..."

It's such a weird thing that people try to compare hardships! Everyone has their own hardships, and that's fine! No need for others to belittle yours :(

@newsense Haha so dramatic! Your example is extreme.. no limbs, homeless and family gone. On that note I am really grateful for the good things in my life including my mum and limbs.

Comparing the situations doesn't work at all! I think she might be trying to be helpful but it isn't quite coming across right

I'm sure she is trying to be helpful :) at least, I hope so, or that's just malicious! I'm sure must people mean well when they make comparisons, buy I do silently say the above rant in my head whenever anyone tells me that I'm "lucky really". ;)

I don't feel damn lucky sometimes! Though yes, when compared to the person in my example, I guess we all are..!

Any sign of af yet Sooz?

Nope, no sign here. No spotting, no cramps. Dtd in the hope that brings her on! We shall see. Maybe this is a freakishly lung cycle, just the mc playing havoc with my body. After the neg frer on Sunday, I can't honestly believe I'm preggers. Especially with lack of symptoms apart from the ones in my head.