TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 15 - Christmas miracles

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

New thread!

honey I’m sorry I found it took three weeks to get a neg. I hope you get seen soon.

Thanks everyone for you nice words. I guess I can eat and drink what I like over Christmas now.

@NoCatsHere so sorry to hear that. What a cow AF is . Xxx

I feel very nauseous today and I don't even know why. Pesky hormones

My tests have gone from clear positive to almost negative within 18 hours of each other. Also i have wierd cm, its like a bright yellow colour. Is all this normal? I knew the hormone would drop but that rapid?

I’m sorry honey I can’t help as my tests took 4 weeks to go negative but my baby was 12 weeks when it died.

I’m back ladies. After the bleed from hell where I ended up in hospital nearly having a transfusion, the polyps and a cancer scare all my tests have come back clear and I’m stopping the norethisterone and after a period we can try again.

However we are so fed up with it all so we decided we needed a distraction so we have a new puppy!

@HoneyCake86 not sure, after d&c took over 3 weeks for mine & my other 2 losses ive seen tests go negative before i actually bled.

@beanhunter omg how cute!! We have a wee pup too & swear the wee face & eyes keep me going some days 💗💗

@UnicornsandRainbows1 how are you feeling today?

@HoneyCake86 Sorry the tests have changed so quickly. I'm not sure about the CM. Have you googled?

@beanhunter welcome back my lovely. You have really been through it. I'm so glad all your tests came back clear. And that puppy - eeee! So gorgeous!

Ive been googling toooo much lol just says different things- infection, pregnacare that ive been taking, progesterone (but that shouldve dropped) or just simply a pregnancy symptom. I hate the feeling of not knowing what my own body is doing.

Oh bean so adorable 🐶

Not getting my scan til 27th, the EPU is just so busy, not a single slot before christmas. I had a patch of denial, googling the variant hook effect in a bid to find a different reason for the test being fainter im going away tonight, im hoping thatll take my mind off it.

Bean! That puppy! What breed is it? Soooooo cute :)

🐶❤️

I'm doing okay Flatwhite keep getting a light warmth feeling like I do when I'm about to have AF, god knows why but maybe it'll arrive sooner rather than later (dashing my hopes that I'd miraculously conceive before then ). I think it's just everything sorting itself out like some massive hormone dip as my boobs are also hurting whilst they go back to their normal size (boo)

Only work today and overtime tomorrow left to do, thank fuck

@bean how adorable! I'm free to dogsit 24/7

@voxnihili I'm so glad you have gotten further than last time but sorry for your anxious wait for scans. I have everything crossed for you.
@SantaBaby1 congratulations!!!
@HoneyCake86 so sorry this has been dragging out for you.try and enjoy your holiday!
@NoCatsHere I'm so sorry. AF sucks!
@Beanhunter sounds like you've really had a really tough time. I'm glad all your tests are clear and your pup is adorable!!
@Unicornsandrainbows1 I feel the same about the tests. Moving forward is good but it's very final in the grieving process. I am feeling nauseous today too. I think you're right about hormones dipping.
I'm away on holidays for the week now and realised i didn't pack any pregnancy tests to see if hcg keeps dropping. Not sure if this is good or not. Stops me bring obsessive but I might get obsessive about not being able to check!
11 days since ERPC and I don't really feel anything physically. My body doesn't feel like I'm pregnant anymore but it also doesnt feel like anything else is happening.

bean it’s so nice to have you back - I was thinking about you the other day. Sorry you’ve been through the mill - the puppy looks like a cutie and an excellent idea! All the luck to you for the next time you try.

I’ve looked ahead to my next fw and obviously it’s given me unnecessary hope as it falls exactly when I first conceived a year ago on New Year’s Eve. So I guess one more shot won’t hurt hey? It’s like it’s meant to be. —Ever the optimistic—

Ah customers bitching about christmas presents whilst I have to fucking try not to cry. We don't all get what we want and some of us have lost more than your grandkids not getting their presents now fuck off and leave me alone you selfish bastards have some bloody prospective of life, jesus

Oh I know @UnicornsandRainbows1! I hate the materialism and commercialism of Christmas. Lots of people lose all sense of perspective. We had something horrific happen to a family at my school this term (so awful it was in the news) and, this Christmas, I can't help but think of the family involved, while others moan about not getting the right present! Grief makes Christmas so difficult, and I'm not surprised you feel like rolling your eyes at people who moan about absolutely nothing! Grr.

Having a real sh*t day, trying to pur on a brave hapoy face on ouside when on inside i just want to curl up & not face the world as i am so sad & scared!! Wish christmas was over as I want to be neither merry or happy. How different I imagined this year would be & that id either have a little baby or id be pregnant & how so very wrong I was 😪

Sorry about the pitiful moan - just needed it out. Hope everyone else is doing better than me as i wouldnt wish this on anyone!

@di626 I get what you mean. Looks like I'll sit beside you in our little crappy boat. I'm 100% done, this year has been an absolute emotionally-draining mess. I have people who tell me that the year is nearly done and the next year bring a new slate, like I'm going to remotely not carry this through to the next (how can I not?!).

Rant, scream, cry, vent away. We're all here to listen to you (ofc I wouldn't want you to cry though )

Still there but so faint now, I reckon it'll be gone by next week. Makes me wonder how much was in my system to begin with!

@UnicornsandRainbows1 the crappy boat phrase gave me a little smile lol!! Sounds about right!! Have they gave you any indication on what could be causing your mmc's? I know what you mean about 2018 people saying it'll be your year, people say that to me & i know they are trying yo help & if tables turned id prob be the one saying it but i wanna say back you dont flipping know that so dont say it!!!!! Aarrrgghhhh i cant go through another year like this one for my own emotional & mental health!!

It is crazy how long it takes the hcg to go down 😔

@di626 No indication whatsoever Just bad luck. If I was to go by my scans, they didnt point anything bad about them which I guess is somewhat reassuring, never got called back about my bloods at my booking in appointment so I guess nothing flagged up on that end either.I can only assume that something was wrong with the babies (I hate those words) or the tissue itself. Ofc I have to have another first.

It really does take a while. Makes me question what happened inside of me even more though.

Oh I've also taken to continuing my Pregnacare tablets every morning instead of just taking only folic acid because somehow that will help for next time and will eliminate everything else Oh brain.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 lol i know what you mean about the tablets & thinking they will make it all better - lets hope they do of course!!!! Just so crap when you see others drinking, smoking, drug taking & they have perfectly healthy babies 🙄🙄🙄

Unicorns I'm doing exactly that too and we haven't decided if we're going to continue ttc! :)

@di626 I have some bottles of wine given to me by work. I chose it purely so it can be shared out tomorrow with food. I still don't know if I have the heart to drink it. It just feels very weird to me.

@weasledee So I'm not the only crazy one here I hope everything goes smoothly, whatever you choose