TTC after pregnancy loss - Love is the Drug - and lots of vitamins - thread 14

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

Shiny new thread. Hugs and supportive chat for those TTC after miscarriage or pregnancy loss ♥️

@coastal I second that. I think dpo7-dpo12 is the most common time to implant. It's more likely to be an implantation bleed than mc. It may also be AF depending on whether your body is still getting back to normal. The waiting is so hard with all of this.

Apparently my dad's wife asked my brother's girlfriend when they are going to have kids so my dad can have more grandkids. So far out of 4 of us, my sister is the only one with kids. Firstly, my brother and his gf have only been dating for 3 years and have just started their careers as primary teachers. Secondly, my sister had IVF with both pregnancies. You'd like they would be mindful that things may be going on that other people aren't aware of. My mum basically said to me that she thought we shouldn't be waiting. How the kids of a girl I'd known when I was younger have turned out ok (she's Pg with her 4th and has been on benefits not working since before the 1st). This was 2 weeks after my MC and 2 days after my sister died. How I held it together I'll never know.

Sometimes I want to scream that this has happened but then I remember that once it's out there you can't take it back. It'll be a relief when I'm Pg again and much further along to be able to finally tell people what happened.

Sorry, got a bit emosh there!!

@Daffodil77 people should definitely be more mindful. They like to think that it's so easy to do but it really isn't. I don't know how everyone gets by with being so naive and ignorant to things. Sadly situations happen, no matter what they are, and we need to be open-minded and willing to just actually think about these different events.

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Vent away. We might not know what to say all the time, but we're wonderful listeners

♥️ to you all, well said unicorn

@Daffodil77 people can be so thoughtless. I can remember the day after we found out about my second mc; I was tearfully telling my ILs what had happened and there was a lull in the conversation. My FIL said ‘right, shall we talk about happier things?’ As if yes, let’s talk about your upcoming camper van trip, after a few minutes of chatting awnings & electric hook-ups, I’ll soon forget I was ever pregnant at all! I still can’t quite believe he said it, me & DH have our first session of couples counselling tomorrow so I’m sure it’ll be brought up!

So after worrying about a similar temp then a huge spike; today I got a massive drop! I can’t ovulate on CD11?! Last month it was CD 24. I’ll use an OPK today to be sure & dtd. Does this happen a lot? Ovia says I’m in my FW as of today with a fertility score of 5.

Any others get huge temp fluctuations??

@coastalchick I've spotted on and off since the MMC, as there's definitely something wrong. I can just feel it. In your case it could be implantation, or just one of those things. It won't be a miscarriage this early.

Thank you for the reassurance ladies. I don't even mind (as much) if it's AF as long as it's not another MC but, as you say, it's too early and so that makes sense.

@Daffodil77 - I too have noticed how people are just not mindful of what they say. I just don't think people get it unless they've been through a MC. I have to admit, I was probably the same until I went through mine. I think MC changes you. A girl my OH is really good friends with us due on Feb. OH and I were both v excited when she announced as I had been due end march so we'd both be off the same time and she's really lovely. OH didn't tell her about our pregnant or MC and on Friday she said to him "it'll be you and coastal next" but she's not to know obvs. Think OH does need to get on and tell her though!!!

Yellow i have major fluctuations, but sometimes it depends what i wear to bed lol. If I'm in my knickers and bra my temp is lower and if im in pjs its higher! Mine is all over the place. But i only use it to determine ovulation after ovulation i just do it for the sake of it i don't look for implantation ect. Aslong as my temp stays quite abit higher for 3 in a row after my pre ov dip then i know I've ovulated. I think I'll ovulate tomorrow. This is mine currently. P.s you can see where i didn't wear pjs haha

I guess it’s because mine looks like this

And I was in pjs!

That's another reason I don't temp, as when I was doing it for a while there were crazy variations depending on room temperature, what I was wearing etc, so I cokdnt ever know how accurate it was. It was stressing me out too much!

I find I don’t get much variation as long as I get a good nights sleep and do it literally as soon as I wake up. This morning’s temp was massively off though because I woke up at 4:30 and tossed and turned until 7.

@Flatwhite31 I was hoping they’d stop my craziness but so far, not so good!
I’ve just used an OPK & it’s negative so I’m guessing it’s just a fluctuation. Mind you, it’s strong enough to hopefully suggest I won’t have to wait til CD 24 to ovulate this month. That’d be nice!

My DH has just reminded me that the hotel room we were in was super hot & my sleep pattern was all over the place; tomorrow is back to work so I’ll be able to get a better grip on it I think. Thanks for the advice everyone.

God some people on mumsnet are absolute idiots. There's actually a thread about gender on here, and disappointment about 'not having one of each'. I think that's an absolutely awful/ungrateful thread to post when there are so many women out there struggling like us!

@Flatwhite Omfg really? What a twatish thing to make and suggest. Who gives a fuck about gender, the main goal is just to get from one end to the other with a baby that's actually alive. Anything other than that is ridiculous. And don't get me started on gender revels and whatnot it's a fucking anatomy scan. Are they looking okay? Good!

I know @UnicornsandRainbows1! There's one particularly vile woman on there who clearly doesn't get what it's like losing a baby in pregnancy, or having fertility struggles. Honestly I can't believe how ungrateful some people are!

How are you feeling by the way? Xx

@Flatwhite Eurgh. Part of me is curious and wants to find the thread, part of me is worried about not controlling myself when I read it.

I'm doing okay, thank you :) bricking it

These people really need to be given a reality check! Ffs. But they'll be the ones who breeze through life with no issues, sadly.

Lol @UnicornsandRainbows1! Thankfully there are some lovely people on there, but there are clearly some eejits! I'm not surprised your bricking it. If I ever get pregnant again, I'll be bricking it. I'm currently bricking it about my hormone levels, as I just know something is up, which I'm sure the bloods will confirm.

They really do need a reality check @coastalchick. There's one woman on there who is particularly blinded.

You're not your! Being a teacher, I can't let that mistake go!

It's okay, though I wouldn't be able to let it go either. Hopefully you can get bloods done soon. Right, I need to find it because I'm so curious now. What is it under?

It is called something like 'do you envy parents with 2 children of the opposite sex'. The title is bad enough!

Just saw my gorgeous 19 month ok'd niece for the first time since losing our baby. It was so lovely, but as soon as we got in the car to go home I burst into tears .

@thegrumpeysquirrel thank you for the info on acupuncture I hope it works for you. Anything that reduces stress sounds amazing right now.

Just catching up on messages - I am actually shocked about the gender thread it is so insensitive.

@flatwhite31 I completely know how you feel, we went to a wedding yesterday - a good distraction I hoped and down walks the aisle comes the brides sister heavily pregnant ... how I didn't cry I have no idea. Sending you hugs x

Isn't it just @Lotty515. There is a particularly insensitive woman on there who had a go at me when I posted! She's obviously completely oblivious to what it's like experiencing pregnancy loss and or infertility. I hear you about seeing heavily pregnant people. Someone at my work is due at Christmas, while another is 4 weeks behind where I should be. It's so so unfair. Sometimes I can barely look at them.

CD 7 and I've started bleeding a bit again. The exact same thing happened last cycle. I'm SO sick of my body not being back to normal. It has been nearly 2 months since the ERPC. I don't know how much more of this I can take!

Oh my goodness @Flatwhite31 that poster is awfully insensitive... her replies are very wounding.

I just never understand how people lack in empathy to that degree.

I know! I actually feel sorry for her @yellowfrontdoor for being such an insensitive person. Imagine being like her!