35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

@phoebemouse
I'm not sure what I'm doing either lol I'm just hoping for the best but confusing myself a lot along the way.. I was having mild twinges from about 3dpo to 6dpo they seem to have gone today, but I've no other symptoms whatsoever.. when I found out I was pregnant with my girl I was 5weeks I had terrible sore boobs and was tired all the time. I'm kind of waiting for the same symptoms although I know every pregnancy is different. I just wish there was something to tell you right away haha! This 2ww (or longer) is killing me x

@Angelmummy17, yeah, I heard that for a while after being pregnant you are more likely to fall again quickly. But I know it's a lottery regardless.

@Angelmummy17 yeh I was the same with the sore boobs, but since miscarrying I’ve had that every cycle now after ovulation, when I never had it before! So cruel! I’m hoping that might settle down, I think it takes a while for our bodies to fully recover so am trying to see the positives in it taking a bit more time than I really want it to! It is definitely getting better - for the first 6-8 weeks I had sore boobs constantly and now it’s just from around ovulation until AF gets going.

@soozc yeh I was thinking the same, so many people on these forums ttc it defo is a lottery. I hope u are feeling ok after ur miscarriage? X

@phoebemouse after my consultation with the fertility specialist I just assumed I couldn't have children, don't get me wrong it took a while for me to accept it, I then got into a relationship dec 2016 and fell pregnant in the march so naturally I was over the moon. So many things going through my mind now, like, will I conceive naturally again? Will I ever be able to bring a healthy baby home from the hospital? Etc I have an appt with my GP on Friday and one with my consultant on 8 Dec so hopefully get some answers then.. in the meantime I'm gonna keep trying this way if this one hasn't worked.. all trial and error I suppose.
X

Call me crazy cos I am I just took a cheapie pregnancy strip n I'm convinced there's a line in the test bit but only when I tilt it at a certain angle. And it's not in colour or very light if it is.. am I going crazy?
Are u meant to see a line in the test area where the line should go?
HELP!!!???

Welcome @81louise from another 36yo. Good luck.

So sorry to hear your sad news @Angelmummy17 but fingers crossed for you.

Sending you strength @SoozC, it will get better & there’s still plenty of hope ❤️❤️

Thanks @Blueberry1, as we have literally only started trying (& only managed once last month) I haven’t ventured into temperatures or any kit yet, just had the one test left from an almost-accident 2 years ago, which I just used up. The OH is both very nervous about the whole thing & has a very low libido so those are some obstacles & I may have to get on board with the temping thing since trying to do it every other or every 3 days will be so greatly different from our tumbleweed of a sex life currently 😂 it would be better to know/maximise chance. Think he’s now realised that one unprotected mid cycle shag doesn’t actually lead to pregnancy, but then most blokes have spent their adult lives trying not to get girls pregnant at the same time we’ve also been trying not to! Haha

@AngelMummy17 - sometimes test positive line can be faint if early (as HCG levels are low). If you wait a couple of days & test again line should be stronger. A pharmacist once advised not testing til 14DPO as by then HCG levels will be high enough to get clear BFP (if you're pregnant).

@janefx40 - with clinics, I went to Care because my friend I mentioned previously recommended them and she had two friends who had successful IVF with Care (Sheffield & Manchester), although both were under 40. She said attention to detail was very good & they tailored treatment to the individual. That was definitely my experience, I felt like they were doing everything to optimise our chances, so if it hadn't worked, then it wasn't meant to be. However, egg quality is crucial & mine turned out to be very good for my age (the embryologists told me this several times).

No clinic can know egg quality before retrieval hence why they give you average age related chance of success (Care said 20%). I also took Coenzyme Q10, Maca & Royal Jelly for at least 6 months before IVF & they're supposed to improve egg quality. No idea if they did (evidence is patchy), but consultant said no harm to do so.

I would interrogate any clinic's 40+ success rates carefully eg do they turn down more complex cases? What proportion of over 40s successful cases use own eggs (success rates are higher with donor eggs). I don't think there is a right answer or a best clinic; you have to feel comfortable.

@Angelmummy17, I've felt okay today. I feel a little like it was a dream now, being preggers, a bit like my wedding day. I feel the worst at night, when I can't watch tv or read a book to take my mind off things and I just have to lie there in the dark and hope sleep comes quickly.

@Melamine, thank you.

Thanks @Blueberry1 that’s so helpful. We’re going to an open day at one on Wednesday (I hope - tried to book anyway). I get a good feeling from them even tho their “stats” weren’t the absolute best. You have reassured me to trust my instincts.

Welcome @Angelmummy17 and fingers crossed for the test.

@Melamine I remember how stressful it was those first few months - I drove myself nuts with endless googling of hormones and symptoms etc. Hopefully it will happen quickly for you.

Thank you @melamine
Fingers crossed @blueberry1

&soozc - yes I feel you! It's been 5weeks tomo I lost my princess, this morning I'm at bereavement councilling. I struggle every night too and it still feels like a nightmare I'm going to wake up from - I wish I could. Every day rolls into one, it's tough but without my family and friends I would never have gotten through the last 5 weeks. I hope you have someone to talk too? Sometimes talking to someone outside family and friends helps (or so I'm told, will let u know after today) I'm not sure where you live but they have child bereavement services across the country to support everyone, you could contact ur local hospital and ask for the number. Try as much as u can to fill ur days I know from my experience it's hard to do. Stay strong x

@janefx40 - thank you I'm trying not to getting my hopes up cause I don't think I can cope with any more negativity right now, I'm going to leave testing again until Saturday (well at least try too) x

@Angelmummy17 Have you checked that you had a negative pregnancy test after your daughter? I guess you wouldn't have ovulated if your HCG levels hadn't gone down enough but I am not sure of the science of everything! After my miscarriage the nurse said to make sure I had got a negative test result before trying again to ensure that there was no confusion over BFPs.

@phoebemouse - I never checked no didn't think of that tbh though I had a negative hpt and positive opk this morning which is confusing me even more 🙈 Currently on dpo9 so probably still way too early to test. Also had some brown discharge today it's all a bit worrying but I'm not giving up hope x

Hope everyone's doing ok. I'm nervously about to start cycle #2. Of course my MIL is staying over on some of the crucial days but we will see. Good luck to all!

Thanks, everyone, for kind words. It's a slow process but I'll get there!

Good luck to @Janefx40 and someone else (?) who have appointments tomorrow (I think?) - I might have it wrong but my computer is being so slow it takes ages to see the pages so I can't go back and check easily!

@Melamine, you'll be fine! As long as you dtd some time around ov, hopefully MIL being there won't be too much of an issue!

I've just ordered a load of opks, preseed and hpts, got to find out when I next ovulate so we can start all over again!

AF has just finished so time to enjoy some more dtd and see what happens

@SoozC it’s good to hear from you. Things must be so tough at the moment but don’t forget we are here to listen when you need us.

The open day was fully booked but we have booked a free mini consultation for 2 weeks time there instead. Have also put our name down for a consultation at the other place as there is a 4 week wait so need to get in the queue.

IVF here we come (eeek!). Feeling more positive about it (and everything) now AF has arrived. Almost feels exciting to be taking the next step. Goodbye savings!

Hi new posters waves

@janefx40 glad you are feeling more positive.

@SoozC thinking of you, hope you are doing ok.

Thanks everyone for the condolences. It’s been an odd month for me, buried my beloved grandmother just over a week ago so not been in the best state of mind for ttc. Decided to keep doing opks for cycle tracking, didn’t get any high days this month but went straight to peak and we dtd that day and day after. BFN on a FRER 12dpo so probably out for this month but on the positive side at least I’ll be able to drink at the Christmas parties.

I’ve been reading “It Starts With The Egg”, anyone else seen this? It’s pretty intense but seems to be backed up with a lot of scientific evidence. I’ve decided to add in co-enzyme q10, vit C and vit E to my preconception multivitamin supplement in case it helps. Also persuaded OH (he’s 42) to take a vitamin supplement, not a fertility one (man pride!) but a wellman one with added omega 3-6-9. The plastic/pollutant stuff I’m leaving for now as it would be quite a lot of hassle and we’re still fairly early in the process (4th cycle) but might consider it further down the line if no success.

I’m also contemplating giving myself a complete conception/early pregnancy internet ban next cycle as I tend to get a bit obsessed during the 2ww! I think it might help ke relax a bit more but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to stick to it!

Hi @Darkstar4855, didn't read book, but read up on supplements (online info & scientific journals). I took pre conception vitamins, Maca, Royal Jelly & Coenzyme Q10. Fertility clinic doctors recommended folic acid & vitamin D and said evidence for others was inconclusive but wouldn't harm. Have heard the plastics stuff before, but am a bit skeptical as good quality scientific studies are lacking, but I do use BPA free food boxes, water bottles etc.

I was taking full whack of supplements for 6+ months before IVF and embryologists said egg quality was very good especially for 41. While my AFC (antral follicle count - follicles still producing eggs) was on low side (only 8), 7 mature eggs were retrieved, all fertilised (not typical) and 3 ended up as good quality 5 day blastocysts. 1st embryo failed and 2nd is now our baby . Impossible to say if supplements played a role, but may have helped!

Hi all, wondering if I can join? I've been on mn for ages but have nc'd on the very off chance anyone knows me irl.

I'm 36 ttc #1 and this is our first month of really trying. I have it in my head that it's going to be impossible, I don't know why... perhaps because I was always extremely ambivalent about having children until quite recently and now I think that I'm not allowed to change my mind or I've left it too late or something 😕 Anyway, positive thinking!

I've been using an app to track my cycle and I'm now 7dpo, or at least what I'm pretty sure was my ovulation day. We dtd several times around and on the day. I've had a small amount of pink then brown discharge since yesterday afternoon. Not a large amount at all and only when I go to the loo but definitely there. I'm really hoping it's not my period gearing up for an early appearance but I think hitting the jackpot in the first month is highly unlikely. I'm determined not to test before next weekend but we'll see if I'm still saying that by Thursday I've read through the thread and you all seem lovely and very supportive

Welcome @RedSails! Sounds very promising to me so fingers crossed.

I’m having a weird cycle as my period, usually 5 days or so lasted almost 8, though only red blood for 2-3 days. Still convinced the prenatal vitamins might be responsible as this is the second month of this with that being the only thing that’s changed in my life. Also not sure if longer period will mean another longer cycle, my app won’t be much help pinpointing FW & as I don’t temp yet then neither do I! Oh well.

Welcome, @RedSails, yes we're very supportive here!

@Janefx40, I'm glad things are moving forward for you, hopefully you'll be able to start soon!

Thanks, @Darkstar4855, we are just mooching along. I'm still off work, can't face going back yet but I feel I should before Christmas.

I am just still so sad, plus using opks to try and catch ov but nothing yet, which is frustrating as I've no idea when to expect af or when to dtd. A massive part of me is hoping to cash in on the "you're more fertile after a pregnancy" thing, which I know is a recipe for disaster but I can't help it. The thought of not being pregnant at Christmas, when I thought I would be about 13 weeks, is crushing.

I've been doing some tidying up at home this weekend and have the following that I no longer need:

• Clearblue dual indicator OPKs, unused device plus 12 sticks (basically unused box of 10 with 2 extra sticks from previous box. Cost over £20!

• 1 half consumed and 1 unopened (flat plastic) bottle of 180x 1,250mg Maca tablets from Supplement Place www.supplementplace.co.uk/maca-root-powder-capsules.html. They're "best before" December 2017, but I reckon if you use them in next couple of months they'll be fine.

• 1 half consumed bottle of 200x 30mg (low dosage; I used these til I found higher dosage) Coenzyme Q10 veggie tablets from Holland & Barrett www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/holland-barrett-coenzyme-q-10-tablets-30mg-60007270?skuid=007273. Best before is either June 2018 or 2019 (am at work; tablets at home, can't quite remember).

• Partially used box of veggie friendly Evening Primrose Oil capsules from Healthspan. 3 sheets of 45 with 2 missing from 1 sheet. Best before April 2018. www.healthspan.co.uk/products/evening-primrose-oil-500mg?sc_camp=858F9AE902B94F9296AECD4B970D20E1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMInancvMze1wIV6LftCh3mrAr0EAYYASABEgLbBvD_BwE&kw=~~384112282~29612720002~c~#/?pack%20size=180 NB: EVO can only be taken in 1st half of cycle (from AF to ovulation) if you're TTC.

I don't want any money for them, but I'll only post them standard second class (no fancy signed for malarky). If anyone is interested please direct message me. It seems a shame they go to waste!

@blueberry1 you're lovely. Keen to try maca but will let someone who has been at this longer claim.

@SoozC I feel so sad for you, that you're suffering so much. Can you get any counselling? I can't tell you how great I found it when I was incredibly down, albeit it is expensive.

Hi all I've been searching for these FRER's and can't find them anywhere, I've tried asda, Morrisons, Sainsbury's and lloyds pharmacy can anyone suggest anywhere else to try please? X

@Angelmummy17 - I got FRER tests at nearest Boots to my office which is a fairly large train station branch.