35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

Hi @Oxted2018 @WaitingforDaffodils

I'm in the limbo stage... got my smiley faces Saturday and Sunday on the monitor.

My body seems to be doing random stuff, ovulated on day 12 two months in a row (pretty early) and then day 17 this month.

Now have all the feels for good month! Accupuncture Wednesday for needle vibes!

How are peoples other half's dealing with things? My OH finding hard to cope with my AF arriving and me being so tearful each month x

All the vibes to you @PixieN

Thanks @TheNewbieStep My poor DH had to deal with me being very grumpy when AF arrived. I was actually a nightmare - ended up saying that it was his fault we’d left it so long to ttc 🙈 I need to relax! I’m actually a bit stressed out at work too, but there’s something about ttc that can make you slightly insane lol. Maybe I need to try acupuncture!

Good luck to everyone this month x

@TheNewbieStep @PixieN - I'm still in the earliest part of trying (this will be our first proper month) so it's not too stressful (yet!) but lovely DH is already slightly bewildered by my symptom spotting 'I don't know if your boobs are bigger...maybe?' But he did buy me a pregnancy nutrition book bless him. Still, I think if we're all intending to grow a tiny human in our bodies DPs job is to support us through our TTC madness ups and downs.

Morning ladies dh is a bit bewildered by it all I think he was completely unaware what he had signed up for when we agreed to ttc but as the months have passed he is much more supportive and especially after the mc he is great at keeping me grounded and realistic. It was quite a learning curve for me too as I had been on some kind of bc since I was 15 due to horrible af's.

@Blondcat @TheNewbieStep. That is good that your DHs are being supportive.

We are still very early stages in trying (this is cycle 2) and so has not been much stress yet. DH does not know I'm using Opks to find out the best days as I think this might put him off! But I think it makes sense to focus our efforts and he hasn't turned me down yet!! I really don't think he fully appreciates how long it can take to get a BFP especially now that I'm almost 37 ( he is 5 years younger) - he seems quite confident that it will just happen within a few months......

I can definitely recommend acupuncture, I had it after my mc. It's so relaxing and you feel great afterwards!

I had about six weeks of acupuncture before I got my BFP. I’d had really light periods since my mirena was taken out and the acupuncturist thought I was “blood deficient”. After the first four weekly sessions I had a noticeably heavier period and then conceived the next month!

Obviously I can’t be sure it was the acupuncture that made the difference (partner and I had been on multivitamin and 200mg ubiqinol for 3 months, plus I’d cut out caffeine) but like Sooz I found it really helped relax me.

Interestingly my acupuncturist suggested I might be pregnant after I was unusually sensitive to needles in my lower back at 8dpo, turned out she was right!

Thanks @Soozc and @Darkstar4855. A few peoplenow have suggested acupuncture so definitely seems to be worth looking into.

@Darkstar how far along are you?

16 weeks now!

I had my first acupuncture in February and conceived 2 months later. As Dark, no idea if it was the main reason but it took us 20 cycles to get our first bfp and just 5 after the mc.

@Darkstar4855
So thrilled that the needles worked for you!
When I came off the pill over 2 years ago (I was on the pill to have periods as my PCOS made them infrequent) I started Accupuncture - and have had regular but light AF since - this was a huge thing for me! Who knew one day I would want periods!

Been to see a new fertility specialist accu lady today. She has PCOS, had a MC and now has a 6 y/o.

All the feels tonight!

Thinking of you all x

The message from today was after you have AF, get on it, basically crack on 2-3 Times a week.. have been told to ditch monitor- it's my compulsion...

Are we allowed to ask where people are based? I'm in Bath.... anyone local?

I'm in Liverpool...a city seemingly full of babies and pregnant ladies - hope it's something in the water

I’m in the Midlands. I really like the idea of acupuncture - sounds like it would be good for work stress too! I’ve been thinking of getting some ubiquinol & a fertility monitor too, but focusing on getting healthy & losing some weight first. It’s all so expensive.

I started reading something called ‘It Starts with the Egg’ & it’s freaked me out a bit - about the dangers of chemicals leaking out of plastics & chemicals in cleaning products etc. Has anyone altered things like cosmetics & gone for more natural products? It hadn’t even crossed my mind to think about stuff like that!

I read it but only took supplements. The plastic/chemical stuff was too much hassle! I did think I might give it all a try if we got to a year with no luck and nothing treatable came up on our fertility tests, thankfully 8th cycle was successful.

Once you start looking, everything seems to be bad for fertility... I have tried (and continue to try and keep it real!!!)
non stick pans/ Teflon - bad
cleaning products- bad
dairy - bad
wheat - bad
sugar - bad
Tap water - bad

This list goes on...and on...

Women have been doing this for thousands of years. Through wars, rations, untold diseases.

I'm of the school of keeping it real. I'm having a glass of wine

Made some little changes. Lots of leafy greens, good quality meat, and have dedicated 'down time' I got 'calm' app. They do adult bedtime stories (I found this ridiculous at first, but I sleep 😴 soooooooo well)

I have 'Method' cleaning products (Tesco, Sainers) bit pricey but it's a start. Still love a bit of bleach!

Yes - everything seems bad when you put it like that lol & there’s lots of conflicting reports out there, especially when it comes to what you should & shouldn’t be eating I’ve changed my diet to be healthier & include lots of veg. I’m also trying to reduce my alcohol intake. @TheNewbieStep - I do like a glass of wine though 🍷 Keeping it real sounds good!

@Darkstar - I think i’ll follow your example & stick with supplements for now. Maybe gradually start to introduce more natural products over time.

For me I am keeping a relaxed approach which worked for me in 7/8 cycles before mc now on cycle 2 taking the same approach. I take coq10 on top of the folic acid and vit d and dtd 2/3 times a week so less pressure. I use a basic app to track cycles but only cos my memory world let me down otherwise . Af due in next couple of days so if no sore will do a test not stressing myself before that too much stress from work etc to add ttc stress to it too!
Ok so I sound relaxed there but dh would confirm I do get a bit hung up on it at times....

I like the idea of the relaxed approach! So far I've given up all drink (except one or two once a month for social reasons), cut caffeine to one cup (honestly brutal) and changed diet. However, I read a book that said to cut refined sugar and, I'm sorry, but you can prize the chocolate digestives from my cold, dead hands...

Gosh, I hadn't thought about cleaning products or anything like that. However, fortunately I don't clean very much anyway

I haven't given up drinking totally but have definitely cut back to just a glass of wine here and there whilst TTC.

Otherwise am just taking a prenatal vitamin and vitamin b6.

AF is due any minute......

Hi everyone, not posted on here for a while as my TTC is quite complicated and we're not actively trying and I've been in a bit of a mental fug, but I'm still keeping an eye on the thread.

How is the BFing going @Blueberry1? Is it getting any easier? Lots of my friends were determined they were going to BF beforehand and gave up by week 6 as it was so hard. I don't think support in my area is that great.

@Russkispy - how was your second scan?

@Janefx40 - I've seen updates from you elsewhere are really happy everything is going well. Are you feeling a bit more relaxed yet?

So happy to hear your news @SoozC, and glad everything is going smoothly for you too @Darkstar4855.

Hello to newbies and sorry for the BFN @PixieN.

@Janefx40 - you asked what happened re OH, and since I last posted we've actually sorted a lot of stuff out and are much happier. We've ramped up the couples therapy and it has started to feel like a proper loving relationship. I knew it was in there somewhere, and really didn't want to give up. He's coming back around to the idea of having kids now so I realise it's all based on how we interact with each other. So, lets see. Still not having enough sex though.

However, I mentioned before I was having mid cycle bleeding and have been having some investigations. I had an HSG earlier this week, but they couldn't get the catheter in as my cervix has sealed shut (and it was CD12 so should have been very open) - a condition called cervical stenosis. They had to pierce it and force the catheter through while gripping the cervix with forceps to stop it moving around. Jeez I have a high pain threshold but it was pure torture. So, seems the weird bleeding is because my period is getting diverted all round the place as it can't get out. That also explains why I've got agonising period pains now when I never did before. Weird. No idea what this means at this point, will need to see a consultant. My smears have always been fine, so it's not scarring from any procedures. Anyone heard of anything like this before?

hi all, when it comes to supplements & avoiding stuff, I tried to look for evidence (the scientist in me...). So I cut out alcohol, cut down.caffeine (1 caffeinated drink.per day; rest decaf) & took conception daily vitamin (with vit D) cq10, maca & royal jelly. Consultant said multivit with vit D was essential, but evidence for.others wasn't conclusive although they wouldn't do any harm. cq10 is supposed to improve egg quality & I had egg retrieval via ivf at 41 after taking for 6+ months & egg quality was v good according to embryologists. Maybe cq10 helped?

Am a bit skeptical about the cleaning products/avoid all plastic; is overkill and could make a woman feel it's their fault they didnt get bfp. I don't think such things can change underlying fertility rather than tweak slightly under par fertility.

I had a friend who struggled to conceive and she went OTT; only organic food & cleaning products, stopping using her mobile, cycling & driving, no plastics/caffeine or alcohol etc; everything ever recommended regardless of evidence or lack of.. She did several cycles of IVF in her mid to late 30s and sadly it never worked. It was traumatic for her & consumed her for several years. She's fine now (10 years later), but it was painful to watch at the time.

I have persevered with bf-ing & now bf little blueberry 6x per day then he gets 2 bottles of expressed milk or formula. He had a tongue tie which was making him unable to latch deeply and making it painful rather than mildly uncomfortable for me. Since that was fixed; big difference. Anyway he's in sling now and had just started head banging my chest which is his way of saying he wants to be fed .