35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

@YuleABUnREASTIEable I was just talking to a nurse friend today who said she went to a recent lecture on PTSD after childbirth - she said it is quite common and often misdiagnosed as PND. I have another friend currently undergoing treatment for the same thing.

I realise you said yours was pregnancy related rather than childbirth related but it is all connected. I think the NHS is taking it increasingly seriously so good that you have seen your GP.

Good luck with the 2WW.

@Blueberry1 NHS appt was given for today but we had to change it as first day back from hols. Shame in a way as it's my birthday and I already have the day off but DP couldn't manage it.

I just hit a new low - even tho I know I'm not pregnant, period is late and am off to a spa so I thought I'd better double check. Ended up having to do a test in the empty station waiting room (toilet was closed and had a FMU sample with me). Ran out of hands, trying to be covert and ended up poking myself in the mouth with a wee covered stick! So now I have wee on my mouth, a cup of wee in my bag and a negative test to boot!!! It's so Bridget Jones that it's making me laugh!

Oh Jane I know I shouldn’t but that made me grin a bit (it’s the kind of thing that would happen to me!). Well that’s not exactly a relaxing start for the spa day! Hope you have a lovely and relaxing time.

I know what you mean about the mental health stuff, tbh it probably was ptsd but about the whole pg rather than birth. I never never thought I could do it again, it’s taken me 7 years to build the courage. Last time I was too in it to realise how bad it was but now I know I’m hoping I will be able to get more support.

Is there a specific type of pg tests you all recommend? I bought some pricey ones from the chemist (clear blue I think) but they seem to sell small job lots on amazon quite cheaply but I’m not sure if they’re as good.

@YuleABUnREASTIEable despite today's evidence to the contrary, I am not a regular tester I generally wait for a late period (which never comes so saves me a fortune).

First Response Early Result (FRER) are the best tests but I'm always in 2 minds - they're good for finding out early as they will detect HCG at a level of 6 units and they are accurate. The problem is that having a positive test so early with such low levels, doesn't mean you will stay pregnant - I had a chemical last month (which I knew from the beginning wasn't a viable pregnancy as I was blood tested by the IVF clinic) and got positive FRERs because I had low levels of HCG. So personally I prefer the regular ones that test at 20-25 iu as I think this is more reliable.

Generally people say pink dye tests (ie pink lines rather than blue) are less prone to false positives. You can get blue smudges of the Clearblue line test which can seem like a possible positive - so if you are using Clearblue with lines then only a line all the way across should be read as a positive.

I think the Clearblue digital are good because they will tell you how many weeks you are which indicates the level of hcg.

Good luck!!

Jane that is very good advice, thank you. I’m certain I had a chemical pg one month before I had dd and was ttc but I never took a test to know if there might have been a positive result, it would have been very difficult emotionally to go through that rollercoaster having previously had a mc. AF is due between Friday and Tuesday (I’m non specific as the cycle length is variable, it’s usually earlier in that gap rather than later) so mentally I’m going to wait until Thursday but if I can get to Thursday and hang on in there I will!i feel more normal today which is making me doubt the weird feelings previously, but then having said that who knows. It’s so so hard not to overthink Isn’t it! Btw I thought you couldn’t get false positives?? Just false negatives, thought it was a positive there was no doubt but if negative it still could be positive?

Does anyone have any plans for the long easter week end? I suddenly realised earlier it’s only one week end to go until easter

@JaneFx40 - oh dear what a palaver . Bridget Jones-esque indeed! Bad luck re NHS appointments; they often seem to be badly timed. I once had to wait months to see a dermatologist and then appointment ended up being same day as really important work meeting. Sorry you're feeling down, hope the spa visit at least relaxed you a bit.

@YuleABUnREASTIEable even the FRER tests aren't that accurate early on. If you read the smallprint, they're only 99% accurate from 1st day of missed AF; beforehand much less so. And you have issue of chemical pregnancy; one reason I NEVER tested before AF due. When I got my BFP I did use FRER test but not until 3 days late; it turned positive before my eyes! Hope you can find support you need. Have you tried mindfulness? I heard the app "headspace" is good, but haven't used myself.

Midwife called on Monday to tell me I have normal blood glucose levels so no GD. So baby is just big.. I'm carrying on with healthier eating anyway as energy levels felt more balanced in last 10 days. Yesterday had 1st refined sugar in 10 days (2 rice crispy bites from M&S at a colleagues' leaving do) & I felt sick afterwards. I poisoned myself with sugar .

Hi new to this thread, wonder if anyone can help? Tried getting an appointment with the doctor but is impossible at the mo as every morning find no appts left by the time I get to no.1 in the queue...We've started trying to conceive...I was 10 days late this month and it is the first time in years..did a test two days after my period was due and it came up negative...had all the symptoms but still negative...I'm now on my heaviest period ever and it's so dark? Does anyone know what this means?

Hi @sparklyshoes16 welcome. How annoying about your GP! Can you call up and talk to reception about appointments?

I'm afraid all any of us could do is speculate. It's possible you had a chemical pregnancy and that the levels were never high enough to show up in a regular pregnancy test. It depends what tests you were doing. FRER are very sensitive but others less so.

It could also just be a random fluctuation. The one thing I have learned from TTC is that the body is very unpredictable - I used to hear stories of stuff that happened to other women and think that I wasn't like that - my cycles were fairly normal - I wasn't a "one in a million" type person. But after TTC and one cycle of IVF, now realise there is literally no way of knowing how your body will respond to any of this stuff! The stress, the hormones etc etc

@Blueberry1 yay! You don't have GD. Hilarious that you poisoned yourself with 2 crispy bites! I am starting to cut down sugar again post holiday so will hopefully join you soon. Here's to a lovely big baby!

Xxx

@Janefx40 thanks so much for your reply...I have wrote to their patients group about the fact that I and many others are trying to get appts and when you are finally through you are asked a barrage of questions by the receptionist to then be told there's no appts 🙄 waiting to see what their response will be...this is all new to me I've bought the OPK kits and pregnancy kits the first test I did was clear blue digital one...well good luck to everyone hope it works out for us all 👣

Hi sparkly, I agree it’s all guess work as to what happened but my initial thoughts were same as Jane.

Blueberry to poisoning yourself with sugar! I don’t eat added sugar (only sugar I get is complex carbs, fresh fruit and a small amount of dried fruit) and once I had about 4 dates a while ago and the sugar rush from that made me feel really sick and ill!

After feeling lots of symptoms they’ve gone and I’ve started having brown discharge, which I often get before af so I’m assuming it’s the start of af.

Well looks like I just got my bfp this morning. Took a tesco test first as know they are a bit rubbish got a faint line so then did a pink dye test and got a faint line on there too! Af was due yesterday and been getting mild cramps since Monday really thought this snout the month for me. Fx it is a sticky one.

Great news @blondcat . I got cramps for several days before (& after) my BFP; hopefully a good omen. You've got about 2 weeks until you start feeling rough with nausea & fatigue , so enjoy it now.

34 weeks & 71kgs (gi-bloody-normous!) today. Went out for after work drinks (mine's a slimline tonic no gin please; I'm a cheap date these days!) & dinner with DP last night. Nice evening, then on the way home DP said "last time we do this for 18 months". Love the optimism .

Congratulations @blondcat, fab news! Really hope all goes smoothly for you xx

Blond that’s fantastic.

Blueberry sounds like a lovely evening out.

AF arrived here yesterday.

Brilliant @blondcat!!

@Blondcat amazing news. Congrats.

@Blueberry1 hopefully it won't be 18 months! Start looking up some babysitters now x

@janefx40 DP's teenager is high on potential babysitter list, but had temerity to go away to university. When back home however will surely be up for it especially when reminded that Dad is part funding their student lifestyle ?

@YuleABUnREASTIEable sorry for AF arrival. Better luck next month.

Fab news @blondcat, congratulations!

Thanks for all the lovely messages. Trying to keep calm and not get my hopes up too much until much further along as know there is a way to go yet.
Fx for some more bfps on this thread x

@Blondcat that is wonderful news congratulations. Did you do anything different this month?

I’ve been quiet again lately - my mum has been in hospital a couple of times. Nothing serious but has been stressful so I didn’t ovulate this month. Thankfully AF arrived on time so the cycle starts again.
Hope you are all well x

@cobby81 I really didn't think we would hit this month as we only dtd five days before ov day and on ov day itself (tired ourselves out the previous month ) I had also kind of decided that we would only get lucky when we went on holiday in May as that was fw. So probably just lucky.
Sorry to hear you have had a stressful time with your mum and af showed up fx for this month x

@Blondcat thank you. Fx a healthy sticky bean for you x

@Blondcat thanks for sharing that, some months we struggle to do it more than a couple of times in fw because of the shifts we work so it really helps to know there’s still hope!

@blondcat - 5x in FW is impressive!! While TTC naturally the most we managed was 3x and more often 2x/1x. DP is Mr Spontaneity so getting him to be spontaneous at right moment didn't always work....

Am 35 weeks tomorrow & now really feeling the extra weight (11kgs/2 stone!), baby boxing/kicking, and tiredness, which is totally normal. I have 3 more weeks at work then maternity leave.

@Blueberry1 amazing. I can't believe how quickly that seems to have gone by. Do you have a birth plan? X

Blueberry you’re on the home stretch!