35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

I think it's fairly unusual for clinics to recommend 3. They didn't put any pressure on. But in the end we decided to trust them. They are a pretty controversial clinic but I've had a good experience with them so far x

@janefx40 - I think it's important to feel confident in advice you receive from a clinic, especially to feel it's really tailored to your individual situation.

@Blueberry1 exactly. Everyone is different so you have to make your own decision and hopefully have a clinic you trust!

AF started today and the tears have flowed too. Why is this all consuming? 6 months ago I thought I'd be pregnant by now. (I know many of you have been trying for much longer) I can't imagine going through this another 6 months. Any ideas how to make this process more bearable?

I have a decision to make. Do I see whether I can be squeezed in for a HSG this month and take a month off trying but work on eating better and exercising (plus the vitamins I bought today) or do I wait another few months and keep trying. DP wants to go for the latter. I'm just not sure. Perhaps my answer will be determined by whether they can fit me in. Plus it's not cheap. Any thoughts?

@Cobby81 it is heart breaking every month. Sorry you are feeling shit. Some people asked me how I cope with IVF as it's so intense but I always say TTC was just as all consuming - now I at least have permission to think about nothing else!

I don't know a way to make it better I'm afraid other than to make yourself comfy, eat nice food and ride it out. I just wish this could be easy for at least one of us!!!

Sending you lots of good thoughts xxx

@cobby81 so sorry for you i can only empathise. I don’t know your history sorry tried to read back through the posts. It is really crap at times x

Hello all,

Am joining this thread as last week I turned 35. We're on our ninth cycle, currently cd33. I have PCOS and irregular cycles. DH just had an SA and I had an TV US and bloods so waiting for results from those before hopefully getting a referral.

Really just looking for some hope as all the stats over 35 are depressing!

@Cobby we took a month off from trying in December - I didn’t want to but we were both exhausted and then various things happened that meant we didn’t get a chance to dtd so eventually we decided to give up for that cycle. I actually found it really nice to have a rest from it and none of the 2ww stress for that month. We have decided that we’re going to plan another “month off” in the summer and plan a nice holiday together so we’ve got something to look forward to even if no success on the ttc front.

Not sure if that helps you decide but just wanted to let you know that taking a month out of trying was surprisingly helpful for us so missing a month for the HSG might not be that bad.

@Cobby81 - You're totally normal! I had several meltdowns while TTC and not getting pregnant and it put my relationship with DP under strain. He also felt under pressure to "perform" at the right moment which could be stressful and a passion killer . If your cycle is reasonably regular, then you may find it less stressful to stop cycle tracking/using OPKs etc and just aim to TTC every other day after AF stops. Consultant advised this eg you usually ovulate around day 16, so aim to TTC on 12, 14, 16 & 18 (roughly). Also don't test until you're sure you're at least 14 days past ovulation (pharmacist advised this) as if you do it earlier BFN may not be accurate, then you're still in the dark/retaining perhaps unwarranted hope.

I would also concur with @janefx40 that after more than 1 year of fruitless TTC with several false alarms, I didn't find IVF stressful. And that was before it worked (am nearly 27 weeks), which I didn't expect as chance of success was only 20%.

AF has arrived this morning I have been fine every month until this one I feel hugely disappointed as really felt like we had dtd at the right times and regularly enough.
Good luck everyone in the tww.

@Blondcat yeah, I feel you. These past few months, Fertility Friend has given us excellent DTD scores, with the three days up to and including ovulation covered. It does feel as though such efforts should be rewarded!

(This month, because everything is futile and to maybe give his swimmers a chance to recover, we’re managing every other day - at least the hopelessness of it takes the pressure off!)

Ah ladies i know where yous are, it is so hard not to get down about the whole thing when you look around you & everyone is preggers so seemingly easy - ive heard of 2 friends this week!! Horrible to say but i cant even be happy for them - what kind of person am i!!???

Hi everyone, have been following the thread for a while but have not posted before. I am 36, been trying for about a year (on and off). Feeling a bit in limbo at the moment. I went for 21 day blood tests before Christmas and everything came back fine, apart from 'slightly elevated' prolactin levels. The doctor said this could be stress related, so I explained that I find blood tests themselves quite stressful (pretty much had a panic attack), and she said that might have been the cause. So I went for a second test in Jan, and felt quite a bit calmer, but the levels came back even higher (2500). I have been referred to the endocrinologist for more tests but my appointment is not until end March. Feels like ages to wait! Am trying to forget about it and carry on as normal in the meantime. I'm just anxious to get any potential problems sorted out and feels like I'm being delayed...

@di626 I don't think you are any kind of person other than normal it is hard when they have something we want. This ttc lark is cruel and unfair and I haven't even been at it as long as so many others.
I do know what you mean though can't even escape to the gym to make myself feel better as there seem to be pregnant women popping up there now too!
Hugs and love to all glad we can vent to each other it makes it easier to know we are not alone.

@Trill27 im waiting on bloods this week tooas have had 3 losses now.
@Blondcat thanks, it def is really good to let it all out sometimes!

I just got my peak smiley on ovulation test so here goes marathon sex if we can 🙈 for few nights!! 😂 sicken ourselves then not touch each other for few weeks 😂😂

Thank you all for the kind words and support. It's so nice not to feel alone. DP is good in many ways but doesn't understand the sadness. (Probably helps he doesn't have the PMT hormones, I'm sure that makes it much worse). We've decided to try this month again. I've bought pre seed! (who knew this ttc lark would be so expensive!) thanks for the advice Blueberry I'm not sure I can stop the opks, I like the reassurance that I'm ovulating and it does encourage me and DP to dtd even when tired. Thinking of you today blondecat. Hoping we'll get some exciting news from you soon jane

@di626 sorry to hear about losses. Good luck with the bloods.

@Trill27 I had raised prolactin too. It was super high on my first IVF tests and they talked about an endo but it had come down again when they tested me on Day 1. I noticed it had gone up again the next day but they clearly felt they could proceed ! I've been living in fear of stress making my prolactin levels rise again for this whole cycle!

@Cobby81 thanks but am not sure you're going to get any exciting news from me this time. I have cramps that are getting stronger every day and had my usual menstrual headache bang on time today (how is that even possible when I'm being pumped full of progesterone?!) so I'm afraid I'm not holding up too much hope for this cycle but if it doesn't work we will keep trying.

Love to you all xxx

Hi ladies I’ve not been on this board for long but thought I would update as I’m going a bit mad tonight. I’m about to turn 39, ttc 6 months, 2 mcs in August and December. I can clearly get pregnant but need it to stick. 10 years on cerazette pill previous to stopping in July.

Anyway this last cycle I used Clearblue digital OPKs as the other ones just weren’t very clear or certain. It reported ov 15 days ago and I have 28 day cycle. So af was due today and so far a no show. This isn’t normal for me to be late I’m like clockwork- except for when I mc’d. But this morning I got a bfn.

I also started tracking my temps only last week as I didn’t really realise what it meant. My temp rose on Monday and hasn’t gone back down. I think this could be a sign of implantation at 12 dpo?

Also I was reading that the post ov luteal phase is always 14 days unless theres an underlying hormone issue, so if I’m not pregnant then the ov rest was wrong, or can you get a positive LH test without actually ovulating?

And if I was pregnant since only Monday then it’s likely still to early for a bfp.

In reality I’ll know in the next few days either way, but it’s driving me a bit bonkers tonight so thanks for letting me rant.

I haven’t told dh that af hasn’t arrived. I was having some cramping last night which I mentioned to him was prob af arriving, he dealt so well with the mcs and I feel bad getting his hopes up if af turns up.

Fingers crossed for you @Yukka, the raised temperature is definitely a good sign. Luteal phase can vary slightly but the average is 14 days. Are you using an FRER to test? I know that some tests are less sensitive and take longer to show a BFP for many women. Fingers crossed for you.

Thanks @darkstar yes I used frer as I read they detect even 6ml of hcg. I am having a bit of cramping on and off last 24 hours but again not like normal for me. I guess I’ll try and get some sleep and see what tomorrow brings x

@yukka - FRER tests are not highly accurate if done before AF is due (read package insert). Pharmacist advised me to wait until 14DPO to get accurate result.

Hi @blueberry yes yesterday was af day, but I was working out this morning that if implantation was only Monday at 12dpo then I probably wouldn’t get a bfp until later this weekend based on likely hcg levels.

Day1 =1ml
Day2 =2ml
Then 4 then 8, today possibly 16ml, tomo 32 Sunday 64 ish.
Most tests should pick up by Sunday I think?

Temp still high this morning and no af overnight.....let’s see. Busy day at work ahead to keep my mind off it (as if....!)x

So I had my AMH result back today - low normal. I suppose I should be reassured about the normal but I can't help but focus on the low bit. I'm going to try to get another appointment at the fertility clinic to make some plans for the coming months.

Hoping this is your month Jane
Baby dust to you all x

@Cobby81 I know it's a blow when you don't get the result you want. But really AMH is only useful to know if you have super low ie you're not going to be able to conceive naturally at all, or you are doing IVF. And tbh if you are doing IVF they will pump you full of drugs so low normal will be fine.

Xxx

@Janefx40 Thank you for the reassuring words. After more tears again and a bit of reading I have to accept that it's not perfect but we still maybe ok. It gives me another kick to do the daily exercise even if it's just a walk. I think I'll look at acupuncture too. But for now I have some fertility meditation. X