35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

Just checking in, still here.

Big hugs to you all x

Hello all. IVF day 1 was today. I was worried about injections but they called me and said I had to do it within 15 mins of their phone call! And given I hadn't even taken the stuff out of the box, I had no time to think about it or worry. So wham bam, in it went. Didn't hurt surprisingly.

They think I have a cyst in my left ovary - and there was me just thinking I got strong ov pains on that side. They are draining tomorrow.

It's a tough journey but the detail of the treatment is great.

@Darkstar4855 Hopefully the surge just happened later in the day and you missed it. If you've DTD anyway you're in with a chance.

@SoozC Lovely to hear from you. Hope you're ok

And everyone else too. Wishing you all good things xxx

Wow, @Janefx40, day 1, must be a very strange feeling! I will keep looking in to see how you're getting on - got everything crossed for you x

@PhoebeMouse - clinic will probably do vaginal ultrasound to look at your womb/ovaries, antral follicle count (how many of your follicles are still releasing eggs) and some hormone tests inc anti mullerin hormone (AMH). Which other hormone tests will depend where you are in your cycle. My tip is write down any questions you have as otherwise you may forget when with doctor.

@blondcat - I swear my cycle got MORE irregular as soon as we started TTC. I was more than 3 days late (bona fide; was carefully tracking cycle) at least twice but always BFN. Grrr!

@SoozC good to hear from you. Hope you're feeling a bit better.

@Janefx40 I didn't find injections too bad; just tiresome and I was lucky enough not to get many side effects. I was a slow/light responder so dose & duration had to be increased (cost a bloody fortune as was using £400 worth of Gonal F every 2 days). If you have any questions, feel free to message me.

Am now 24 weeks and larger every day or so it feels. Am also feeling cumbersome! Had midwife appointment last Tuesday and everything is fine. Started new job this week and already feel it was the right decision . Have to discuss maternity leave in the next week or so. My new line manager thinks I should be able to work 4 days per week after maternity leave, but it's up to the MD (married woman with 2 kids).

Hello all.

Just thought I'd give an update. Hopefully you'll all get your BFPs but I can de-mystify IVF a bit for you just in case.

Day 3 of IVF - feels like I've been doing it forever! I was hugely worried about injections but they've been fine. Similarly procedures are fine. I'm at a very intense clinic so in daily for bloods and scans but then this is all I think about anyway so quite nice in a way to be able to focus on it.

It seemed huge and scary but now we've started it's fine. My Mum is really struggling with it. She doesn't think we should be doing it as we've not been trying that long in the scheme of things and the age argument just makes her say "if it's not meant to be then never mind" so she swings between being supportive and quite cross or just dismissive. I do understand - it was hugely hard for me to get my head around - and I'm her daughter so she's just as worried but has no control. It does seem very extreme and ugly from the outside.

Anyway I hope you're all well. @Blueberry1 glad all is going well with the baby and the job.

@PhoebeMouse I've also just had my NHS appt through. Not sure what they will do with me as already had all tests etc. Thought I'd better book it for after this cycle of IVF so booked for 21 Feb. Let me know what they do for you?!

@SoozC Hope you're ok.

Sorry to miss anyone else off. Have to run but hope you're all good xxx

Hi everyone! We had our first appointment at the NHS fertility clinic on Monday and they talked through our results so far and booked me in for a few more blood tests and also an ultrasound of my ovaries, hycosy dye test and AMH blood test.

I had all those done today and it’s a bit of a mix of news. Everything looked fine, tubes clear etc, but they only found 5 follicles on my ovaries and they would want to see 12-20 I think she said. My FSH level was at the highest end of normal too which points to low egg reserve, so having the AMH blood test is meant to be the best one for info on ovarian reserve. Really worried now though that I don’t have enough left to get pregnant naturally or for ivf to be successful! It will be about 2 weeks for those results, then back to the clinic in 8 weeks to discuss next steps. Not liking having to wait now I’m so worried!

@PhoebeMouse, my AMH was only 6.5 & my follicle count was only 8. IVF retrieved only 7 eggs, but they turned out to be good quality, as all fertilised (not typical) and 3 became 5 day blastocysts, one of which is now our baby . So numbers are not everything! I was told that most common reason for IVF failing in women over 40 (& you're much younger than me if I recall) is egg quality.

Also, DP heard a science programme on radio 4 that said ovarian reserve tests (AMH & AFC) are useful for IVF, but not for natural conception as you ovulate only one egg per month. Unfortunately there's no way yet to test for egg quality .

Thanks @Blueberry1 that is really reassuring to hear! Fingers crossed for ivf or a surprise natural BFP!

@PhoebeMouse exactly what @Blueberry1 said. My AMH was actually good but my antral follicle count low - which surprised us and the clinic too!!! I had 9-11 follicles across both ovaries so only 4, 5 or 6 on each ovary.

You only need 1 for natural conception and for IVF they will stimulate your ovaries to grow more anyway. That's what the drugs are for. And as @Blueberry1 said, even for IVF you only need a handful (or technically only 1).

Hope you're not feeling too panicked. I know I panicked about everything when I was having tests (now I'm a week into IVF and am already institutionalised - I ask no questions and do what I'm told!)

Sorry about the bold

Thank you @Janefx40 I am panicking a bit! I only had 3 on one and 2 on the other! My FSH wasn't too bad though, so am just keeping everything crossed that my AMH isn't too low. I guess it is all about the quality though and we have no way of knowing that!

How is it going so far? Do you need to go into the clinic every day for a long stretch? I am wondering about how to manage this if we are accepted for ivf in terms of to-ing and fro-ing from work! I've only just started a new job so a bit stressed at the thought of confiding in a new boss!

@RoseWrites but you may have 5 amazing follicles there and I may have 11 duds!! Also it could be a freak month.

IVF has been fine so far. I was horrified about the idea of all the drugs and injections but it's not bad once you start - I just jacked up in a Starbucks toilet - an experience I never thought I'd have.

I'm at the most intense of all the clinics so I may not be a good guide for what is normal. I do a blood test every morning at 7:30 then I can go into work. Tomorrow I am having a scan too but should be done by 8:30 so won't be late for work. I am working normal hours but my boss has agreed I can work outside the office when I like - so now I am in a cafe as I thought I may have to go back in. I am taking days off for egg collection and transfer so she had to agree to me taking time last minute as you can't tell when it is. But other than that, I'm working fine - except I am messaging you...better get on

Xxx

Really good luck Jane & Phoebe. The job thing is a worry too as I really want to get a new one, don't want to be that person who starts a new job and then has to go off for appointments and leave (having PMA about time taken to get pregnant obv ) ! It's good to hear about supportive bosses.

Sorry I meant to tag @PhoebeMouse in that previous post!

@janefx40 that’s great that you’ve been able to get a few pre-work times in and work are being so flexible. It’s a bit tricky for me to get to my clinic, I either need to get 2 buses or a taxi and worried the costs could start adding up if I keep getting taxis all the time! I am hoping my work will be quite flexible, I’ve worked for the overall company for a long time it’s just a different department so new but not new at the same time!

@Melamine it is so tricky but I’ve kept thinking I don’t want to miss out on something and regret it or put my life on hold too much. I would keep applying for things if the right thing comes along!

Hello all,
I have sat here for over an hour reading this thread. You all seem so lovely I hope it's ok to join the thread.
Congratulations to those of you with successes. My heart goes out to those having a difficult time.
My story - at 36 trying to conceive number 1 now on cycle 7. The first 3 months without OPK testing so month 4 I found out I get my Clearblue static face at day 11 so probably ovulate sooner than I thought. I am now on my 2ww again. I didn't realise how hard these 2 weeks are. I know I should just be enjoying life in these 2 weeks. But the posts appear of friend's 11 week scan (happy for her just a little sad for me) or you get the twinge in the lower tummy that you had last month when AF came so you must be out this month. It is so much harder than I thought it would be. Every month I am trying something different from different vitamins or not doing yoga, this month is conceive plus! We'll see. Monday is fertility clinic appt for us both. Terrified of bad news

@Cobby81 lots of luck for Monday! There seems to be so much that can be done to help that I’ve felt very supported so far with our clinic and gp. It helps relieve the anxiety a little bit knowing you’re not on your own!
I hate the 2ww too, and how long every month feels for just getting that one chance! We are just about to try again on cycle no 5 since our miscarriage. Sigh!

Thanks @PhoebeMouse I know you are right, there really is so much that can be done. I have to remind myself not to think negatively. It has definitely helped reading all your posts.
Good luck with cycle 5.

Welcome @Cobby81, hope your appointment goes well.

I am 9dpo but unusually this month I have had no breast tenderness at all - usually it starts around 6-7dpo. I’m guessing this means my progesterone levels are lower than usual and this was, as suspected, an anovulatory cycle. Could be wrong but I’m not getting my hopes up of a BFP this cycle.

On the plus side I have stuck really well to my no-alcohol, healthy diet and exercise regime so far this month so hopefully will be in good shape to try again next cycle.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

@Darkstar4855 during my ivf monitoring cycle I had no breast tenderness at all but had definitely ovulated because they scanned and blood tested me. So it doesn't nec mean anything.

Welcome @Cobby81 not done an NHS cycle yet so I'm afraid I don't know. Have my first appt on 21st Feb but not sure we'll do it because we may want to continue with our current private clinic if this cycle doesn't work. Anyway good luck x

@Janefx40 thank you so much, that’s good to know! Do you normally get it?

Welcome @cobby81.

I am in the tww not testing so not exactly sure how many dpo I am but think by cm and a little cramping it was Wednesday /Thursday.

Goodluck to those with up coming tests and appointments think it will be time to book in with the gp myself next month if this is not my lucky month.

Welcome @Cobby81. I, too, am 36, and have lost count of how long I’ve been trying - 8 cycles? We’ve got an appointment on Monday to discuss DH’s results - either his swimmers, or blood, or both. The doctor requested it, so it’s not going to be good news.

I’m on 15 DPO. My temperature is right around my coverline, so AF will come soon. As she is late, I tested this morning (because of the occasional narrative you hear of people getting really bad results, but they had a fluke BFP just before getting them, and everything was wonderful), but it was a BFN, of course. Still, it’s fun to have a bit of extra hope this month, even though I know at least 99.5% that it’s hope for nothing, and it would be better to get on with the next cycle of trying in vain. (Feeling very cheery, as you can see.)

@PhoebeMouse @janefx40 it’s great to hear that you’ve both started with fertility clinics, and that things are underway. Good luck!

@Blondcat I hope that this is your month, and that you don’t have to see your GP, but if necessary, I expect it will all be ok. A couple of us have had the GP say that they wanted us to wait a year before NHS investigations started, despite the fact that guidance says you should only wait 6 months over the age of 35 (I got investigations because of DH’s childhood mumps). Hopefully your doctor will do the right thing!

@Darkstar4855 well done with sticking to being healthy this month! For the first time since starting this, I have failed completely on the alcohol front. New Year’s Eve is where it unraveled, and knowing that DH probably has swimmer problems made me less inclined to be careful. So well done for succeeding!

Hope you are doing well SoozC.

@Blueberry1 glad to hear things are still going well.

Good luck to everyone in the 2WW!

@Darkstar4855 yes I usually get sore boobs every month although weirdly not the last 2 months

X

@Janefx40 thanks for sharing that, it’s cheered me up.

@spargle I’ve never succeeded before either! But it’s only our 5th cycle so I’m still in a reasonably optimistic state and thinking that if I do get pregnant at 37 then the fitter I am, the easier it will be! Plus I think it helps to feel like I’m doing something, even if it doesn’t really make much difference.