TTC after pregnancy loss - lucky thread 13

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

Hi guys I couldn't see a new thread so hope you don't mind me starting it off @BertieBotts ?

@Flatwhite31 Not in the entire county? Jesus Christ the aftercare for this all is a fucking shambles!!

Thank you. So glad I'm not going completely mad. Can I stay with you guys? My head is all over the place right now! I don't really think I want to bring it up in general just because A) it's rude B) I'd rather get to a safe and better point (not that there realistically is one) before switching over. Not to ignore this news but hopefully you understand what I mean

Grumpy I hope you get a definitive answer one way or the other, it's shit how mc can change your normal/usual way of thinking, I long for that innocence/pathway of dreams when getting a bfp but we all know that we're nervous wrecks & think the worst!!

Flat If it's any consolation the first 2-3 months after my mmc no one could reach out to me, not my dp my mum (she's 1 in a million) not even my gorgeous 13 year old ds, the only way to describe myself was I was in a big Perspex box & I could see & hear everything & everyone but they couldn't get to me!! Thank god for autopilot despite being in this Perspex box I went to work & done all of the things I would usually do but it felt as it was someone else doing it!! The only place I felt safe was at home, randomly one day I could see the worry, hurt & concern in my dp's, mums & ds's eyes & I knew that I'd gone into myself so deep & there they all were holding out their hands... I grabbed on so tightly & slowly my fog cleared. Flat we are all here for you just take the time you need & your random day will come.... love to you all ❤️

@unicorns looks like a line to me! Great stuff! Have you been doing ovulation and pregnancy tests each day- I have! My ovulation one looked positive today but I'm hoping that's cos of HCG? Are you 11dpo? I am... my one today looks a bit stronger

11dpo

@love that's a really great description... so glad you found your way out!

Filly and unicorn - can def see both of those x

@Fillybee I'm 11dpo too. I was going to hold out til tomorrow or not bother at all but something told me to say fuck it even though my brain was like 'wtf are you doing?!' I definitely see a darker line on yours than previously :) I was doing ovulation tests until it spiked then didn't bother afterwards. I only have a few of those left and this was my last hcg strip test.

@Lovemysparkle You've summed it up perfectly. You put yourself in autopilot without realising and wonder why or how you're doing it

Filly I see this one! Congrats.

I’m feeling fine just wish af would start because it’s hard to give up that tiny sliver of hope. I really think I’m 13dpo but I suppose I could be 11.

@TheGrumpySquirrel I really hope you are at 11. Was it the same brand of test? Sorry if that sounds a bit dumb

Oh my goodness unicorns it's an avalanche of bfps!

Ravenous hunger has now gone so it was the day before ov, day off and day after. Never had that before! I think a lot of progesterone must have been released post mc

Are people doing anything nice this weekend?

Thanks Hun. You never know, there's always still a chance till af shows.

Saw this article today which I thought was quite good. Did think about sharing on my Facebook but I guess it would be pretty obvious why I was doing so.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/oct/12/what-to-say-somebody-miscarried-loss-baby

Yeah same brand. Don’t worry, it doesn’t sound dumb, perfectly sensible question!

Realised I didn't say congratulations unicorns! 🦄

I’ve restarted my fitness pal so hope I can stick to it. Taking 1 day at a time. The last 4kg I put on have really taken their toll - cannot fit in my clothes anymore which is v depressing! I’ve got 7kg to lose but I’m starting with a goal of 4. I know I’ll at least be able to wear all my jeans and trousers again!

grumpy I know your frustration, just arrive already and you can move on. My cycles were always over the place so even though I was sure AF was coming, the delay of course gives tiny hope

Filly & Unicorn - I see the lines on both

I got another flashing smiley this morning so hoping yesterday afternoons negative was just a diluted one. Feeling lots of cramps today today, not sure if this is a good sign or not..... would it mean OV could be coming or has happened? I can't remember last time as if felt like I was cramping all the time

kezza - a flashing smiley means ov is coming but not here yet. I have had them for 3/4 days before the static one before.

People get ov cramps at different point in their ovulation unfortunately so there's no way to know exactly unless you remember that you always get them on day of ovulation from previous cycles

@TheGrumpySquirrel with MFP, honestly it's so user-friendly and it'll become second nature to add things in there. It's also pretty handy because if something has a lot of sugar for instance, it'll flag it up

@KerryLeanne84 Don't be silly! Thank you cookie

Congrats unicorns! I’m still lurking on this thread because I can’t relax just yet and besides I love seeing all the new BFPs!

Congratulations to the BFP-ers! 'Unicorn' and 'Filly', I have everything crossed for you.

@flatwhite I wonder if your cycle is still getting back to normal, which is why the symptoms pre-AF are different? Maybe your hormones are still finding the right balance after your body has gone through what is a major trauma?

I don't think I am back to normal myself yet. I am pretty sure I didn't ovulate before my first AF after my MC.
I am now approaching fertile week and have wiped some CM that is pink tinged. Not sure what's going on. Anyone else had this?

@Lovemysparkle - it must be so frustrating for you having to wait to restart ttc when you don't want to. I would be the same. But at least something is still getting done towards you being ready for your baby. You have to think of it like that, rather than get down, if you can. And at least the tests haven't revealed anything sinister.

Congrats filly and unicorn!!!!! Keep us updated!

Anyone else finding baby loss awareness week tough? There's so much discussion which in the grand scheme of things is great, but I'm finding it's making me grieve all over again. Can't stop crying. I'm off to a hen do now for the weekend but just feel a bit heavy hearted. And obviously it's not the place to discuss why I'm sad!! Hey ho, brave face on.

Hope you are all ok?
Flat- have you spoken to your GP about how you're feeling? It's still early days and all your feelings are normal and valid. But that's not to say you don't need some help processing everything and coping. Sending hugs.
X

@Purplepjs I'm finding it a bit hard on the basis that I want to scream that I had one and stuff, but also just sitting here in silence because there are people I'd rather not know about It, and I don't want the whole I'm sorry statement as a throw away comment. So many times I've had sentences that either make me hurt more or just have little sustenance to them.

@weasledee Thank you! I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but it makes me fill a bit better having a previous pregnanc thread member there. I'm not sure why but there we go.

I am so fucking scared

feel* -__-

How are you feeling weasledee? X

Well if I go by temps alone rather than my guess of positive OPK timing (I ran out of OPKs on cd19 when it just started darkening!) FF updates my chart to ovulation on CD21 which makes me 11dpo with cramps yesterday and a temp dip the day before 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Ooohhh Unicorn congratulations! I thought your symptoms sounded strong. Crossing absolutely everything that this is a very normal and boring pregnancy with absolutely no drama. I really hope you get your line too Grumpy

You sound so down Flatwhite. Sending hope. This too shall pass, though we are never quite the same, and even though it's absolutely atrocious now. What you've written is the perfect description of how I felt first time around Sparkle I am finding it really hard to get motivated for work third time around. Or anything, really.

Fingers crossed for more BFPs soon! It really helps to see lovely people getting there.