TTC after pregnancy loss - lucky thread 13

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

Hi guys I couldn't see a new thread so hope you don't mind me starting it off @BertieBotts ?

Oh bless you @coastalchick. I cried everywhere in Italy. Restaurants, shops, even Pompeii of all places! It's so hard. And people who have never been through it don't get it. I do think part of that though is because MC is a hush hush topic, so people just don't know how to react. I've just bought a book written by a woman who had 5 MCs (3 before her first child,and 2 before her second). It's called 'Saying Goodbye' and is by Zoe Clark-Coates. It describes the feelings after MC absolutely perfectly. I'm glad I got it, as while it's a hard read, I'm finding it comforting. I have also bought a baby loss pin from the Miscarriage Association, and yesterday I bought a wave of light candle to light on Oct 15th. I feel we need a few tangible things to remember our bean by.

Unicorns Yay! Looking good. 🤗

flat that book sounds interesting! I'm not a big fan of reading but i may give that a go! Hope your okay after your row with DH as if you need more stress :(

costal i know, People's reactions are lile that. I had to actually say to my manager that the way I'm feeling now is as if someone has died. I'm grieving. I'm signed off work for just under 2 more weeks and i feel pressured to go back. It's so upsetting/stressful and annoying.
I don't see any other option than to get pregnant again, and i know it most likely will be months and months. Although in the past i have conceived by cycle 3 in all 3 of my pregnancies (#3 then #3 then #2) i feel like i won't be that lucky this time!

nocats i know what you mean regarding them not knowing, only 1 of my friends has experienced a mc and my mum. Everyone is acting like everything is normal,like I never lost a baby. It's very frustrating. Dp is the worst person for it!

Congratulations Lime what fantastic news!! X

I feel like I've not dtd enough in fw. I don't know why because though before the mc i was following the sperm meets egg plan which means techincally I've only missed one valuable day. I can't actually believe my mc started only 22 days ago and im trying again, Feels like months ago! I feel like my dr will tell me off if i managed to get pg again!
Ordered 4 frers on offer at superdrug and 30 Ics for next week lol

I'll apologise in advance for spelling and grammar 😂

100% - no one who hasn't had a miscarriage can understand properly. I helped my bff through one last year and I was there for her but looking back I had no clue. And she already had one child, so it was a different situation than I'm in now.

Good like progression unicorns, looks like you're getting there!

Too stupid to work this one out! Taken 3 hours after the last one (I tried to not have diluted-ness again but failed 😥)

@UnicornsandRainbows1 it's so so close. I reckon tomorrow!
If I was home, I'd send you my progression this month, it's very similar to yours.

@Yellow Oh really? I'm glad we're similar then! I am thinking it'll be darker than the control line tomorrow (hopefully) but idk. My laidback approach for this month has just done a 180 😦

Thanks @BlueeSpottyTiger. He apologised really quickly then cried bless him. I think the mmc stress is hitting him hard at the moment.

I've got a flashing smiley on a digital OPK this evening. IC OPK has a line, but it's not as dark as the control line, so it's a negative. Ugh really not enjoying doing this all over again.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 I'll post it tomorrow. Your opks have made me feel better too!!

My sanity has slowly eroded too so don't worry!

Fingers crossed for your positive tomorrow.

@Flatwhite I hope he's doing a bit better atm. It's horrible when things just hit you. Look after each other!

@Yellow That would be lovely, thank you so much. We will see, but I'll keep you updated you want :)

*if you want

Hi all, been manic at work so not had time to post much but I've been reading along.

@Lime19 lovely to see you and massive congratulations 🌈🌈 so glad the twins are doing well in there!

@UnicornsandRainbows1 I think we are cycle buddies (although I ran out of OPK on Friday just as I got a darker one 🙄) judging by cm and cervix and temp I'm hoping ovulation was yesterday or will happen today. Very late for me this month - CD19/20. Probably stress!

I have an appointment with acupuncturist for initial consultation on the 11th. I'm also stopping drinking from today (first time I've bothered in TWW but I also need to lose weight so just telling people I'm doing sober October).

I'm in a friendship group with a few women who've also had MCs - some after me - and almost all of them are pregnant again now except me 😭 can't help feeling a little jealous, although of course i am happy for them, I feel like I'll never join the preggo club.

Big hugs to everyone x

Ps.. update on my job situation- the one I turned down has asked me to interview with them even though I told them I'm TTC and not sure I can move now. Which is quite cool!

@TheGrumpySquirrel Oh that's good news. How do you like the sound of the job/place aside from the TTC part? It sounds positive if they are still interested in you.

Oh that'd be lovely. I'm on CD15 today I think so not far behind you. May just use fmu for one of them just for the pure reason that I'm now awake. Am hoping this afternoon's one is it I'm so bored of testing and pissing on paper 😂

It's more travel and less job security but a smaller company where I would directly get more of the profits basically. And my DH could be a SAHD. I'm cautious about it but everyone says don't let pregnancy hold you back. However I'm not even pregnant yet so might as well go through the interview process! In current job I get a sweet mat leave deal though, full pay for 6 months. And I'd be able to go 4 days a week afterwards (for a pay cut, but still it's an option). Don't have to make any decisions yet.

Never mind, I think I'm good given that there's still dye everywhere. FIN.AL.LY.

Oh wow @TheGrumpySquirrel 6 months! That's so good. In teaching you get six weeks full pay! It's SO bad, despite that I've put in 50-60 hours a week, plus working weekends and some holidays for nearly 9 years! I've got to work most of today, ugh. Far more interested in baby making and sorting my head out than bloody working.

We DTD last night for the 3rd time since the MMC. It was the first time it felt good, and there was only a bit of (tolerable) abdominal pain at the start. I'm going into my (supposedly) FW this week, although I just have a feeling I won't ovulate. My body just doesn't feel quite right yet. Hate doing all the opks etc again too. Such a chore.

Does anyone else's get freaked out worrying they didn't dtd enough?!

We dtd every other day over my positives, and once when my surge was over. But then I read that if you have a longer LP you can ovulate 48+ after a positive OPK?! I got a positive on CD 24, but can have 40-day cycles... I'm so confused.

DH has been on a stag do, doubting highly his ability to ahem perform later.

6weeks grumpy here too- six months is incredible! What do you do? The new job sounds incredible too.

Flat - every other day is definitely what's recommended to keep the sperm quality good but also I guess don't shop once you think you've ovulated - as you say, just in case.
Happy Sunday everyone! Can't believe it's October. What is everyone up to today?

Sorry, that second part was for yellow not flat!

Congratulations Lime - I remember you from when I first joined this thread (my mc was the beginning of June).

I've had a really rough week. saw my best friend for the first time since my mc (she lives abroad). Her baby is due the day after mine was. I was shocked by how much of a bump she had and could barely look at her. It was so upsetting to see all the baby stuff in her house too. I feel so bad feeling this way but I can't help it. I've been thinking that the baby will probably be late so at least I'll get past my due date, but she is being induced that day.

I just don't know how to carry on. It's 4 months ago tomorrow and I'm privately still a mess. I'm 14 DPO with a BFN and feeling like it won't happen.

All that's kept me going is thinking I'd hopefully be pregnant before my due date, but seeing as I found out I was pregnant just after our NHS referral to the fertility clinic it is probably unlikely. DP and I are going to explore private options after Christmas though as my mc means I currently don't qualify for NHS treatment in our area.

I work in a big financial services company so they have good provision (probably have targets for retaining women after maternity). I know I'm really lucky! New job no idea if they will pay time off but overall package is so much better that it might not matter. The timing may not work out though especially if I get pregnant soon, as there's no way I can hand in my notice pregnant and risk losing that maternity deal / in case I get ill or have another miscarriage etc... I guess just got to see what happens next and go from there. If I get an offer I suppose could take a break from TTC but I don't really want to do that.

vox - having a miscarriage means you don't qualify?! What the actual fuck - how cruel is that? Is that because you can get pregnant? Jesus.

I'm so sorry for the situation with your friend. I'm in a similar one with my bff and the only way I can describe it is that part of me hates her right now. Don't feel bad for feeling however you feel, and if you need to not see her much or see the baby that's fine - you have to do what you need to be okay. ❤️

My opks (lines) just aren't getting any darker. That isn't normal is it...sigh.

@Flatwhite where abouts are you in the cycle?

CD 12. It's my first cycle after my 'period' (if that's what it was) which came 26 days after ERPC. I have had progression on Clearblue digital (circle on cd 10 and flashing smileys on CD 11 and today) but the opks all look the same. My body doesn't feel like it's working, in that I had no sore boobs before or during the bleed I had, and my BBT was lower this morning than it was yesterday! It's so frustrating.

Flat - my OPKs never get darker until they are almost positive. I've often wondered if it is something to do with my urine being diluted so it doesn't show a difference until it is almost positive. I certainly don't get them darkening up like some people do. I usually only get two days when they're actually any darker - usually day 16 and 17 of a 30 day ish cycle.