TTC after recurrent miscarriage

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Hi, just wondering if anyone else was in a similar place to me and wanted to chat about it? I'm 30, TTC my first and have had three miscarriages, all early (two natural MCs at five weeks, then a MMC where a scan at 6+5 revealed development had again stopped at 5 weeks). I've had RMC tests and am just waiting on the results of that but hoping to be able to TTC again from my next period, which should come any day now. I've found throughout the whole thing (have been TTC just over a year now) that it's really helped me to chat with people in similar positions, so if anyone wants to be TTC buddies please let me know!

Sorry Anne :( That sounds totally rubbish.

Oh Anne, that sounds shit. So sorry AF showed up and ruined your lovely weekend plans.

Thanks both.

Where is my baby and why has my cycle gone screwy?

Anne that sounds crap, why is this so bloody tough!!

Ladies just wondering if you have any advice for me, im going to private obgyn tomo night for rc m/c, i have been referred to nhs as well but wanted to hopefully get ball rolling quicker & then transfer over to nhs when time comes 😌. Any questions etc to ask for those who have been down this line?

Oh Anne that sucks! I hate the fact that we have so little idea what is going on with our bodies. So far since coming off the pill I've had a 6 week cycle with two weeks of bfn but not period ( no idea what happened there) a miscarriage at 5 and a bit weeks and then a random 25 day cycle ( catching me by surprise with no tampons at work) so I have no idea when my period should be here. If you just knew on cd1 "this cycle will be ... days" I think I could cope better. Cd22 today, random pink cm when wiping, Ive never had implantation bleeds so beginning to think maybe my period will arrive at cd23. Ridiculously short and stupid cycle! My cycles are supposed to be 28 days I keep telling my body but it doesn't listen.

I am so sorry Anne - completely understand why you were so hopeful, and why it was so upsetting when AF came. It's so unfair that you're now struggling with this after everything else, both pregnancy related and non, that you've been through in the last couple of years. I so wish I could say something to make it better. Am I remembering right that the GP said to go back and talk to them in February if you haven't conceived again by then?

Sending warm new year wishes to everyone, especially those having a really tough time.

No news from me whatsoever - bfn this morning, and on to the next cycle.

Morning everyone, can I ask a silly question?
Do you count spotting as cd1 or only when proper bleeding starts? I've never had spotting before my period before so don't really know, think my cycles are still a bit screwy after last miscarriage. Monday eve(cd21) speck of blood in cm. tues eve -few drops on wiping, wed afternoon spotting enough to wear a pantyliner but no much, today nothing so far..... so do I count Monday as cd 1 or wait til I start bleeding properly?

I was told CD1 is the first day you need a pad or tampon. Which is sometimes never for me but I've still tried to use it as a rule of thumb.

Thanks Bertie, no bleeding today so far so at least my cycle will be 24 or 25 days instead of the ridiculous 21 if I counted it as Monday. Short but not sillily so...

Yes - I tend to get differing amounts of spotting before AF, sometimes none, usually a couple of days but not always in a row, sometimes up to 5 days! Looking back over really old period tracker app data, I think this is why I used to think my cycles were irregular, because I was measuring from spotting, but not full bleeding. When I measure from full bleeding there is only about 5 days variance between countable cycles.

I have also read that if the bleeding starts after 5pm to count it as having started the following day. But never followed that one myself as it's normal for me to start at night.

Counting down payday when I can go test purchase crazy 😂

Af arrived - I'm out ( kind of assuming I was from all the spotting but there's always that glimmer of hope). Hey ho, onwards we go cd 1.

At least last two cycles have been 25 days, short but at least I seem to be becoming regular!

Thanks for your advice Bertie was v helpful and reassuring. Otherwise I would have gone with 21 days and thought I was broken!

Really sorry about AF haffertee, but am glad that your cycles seem to be getting more regular.

When is payday, unicorns?!

Can I ask a stupid opk question (as lucky me gets to have recurrent mc and infertility). Yesterday had positive opk around 12pm and then at 9pm def ov pain. However this morning at 9 opk was even more positive? I don’t understand. We’ve dtd weds, fri and sat. Both of us a bit ill and frankly would rather miss tonight. Is that stupid? I don’t understand why I would have pain yesterday then still suck a pos opk today?

I think you’ve got your follow up scan this week unicorns? Really hope they find everything has cleared up.

Glad af makes sense haff and hope things continue to settle for you.

Hope all’s well lisa

No wisdom on opk I’m afraid bean but sounds like you’re well covered re dtd so definitely take the day off if you’d both be better off having a cuddle and just resting up.

No wisdom on OPKs here either I'm afraid bean, I've never used them. But I agree with Anne that it sounds like you're covered.

How are you Anne? I hope AF has buggered off. Have you a plan for going back to the GP?

I've got my first scan on Thursday so my anxiety is ramping up massively. Hopefully will be 8 weeks. I'm trying to remain positive. Have been feeling guilty this weekend as had a girly weekend with 4 old uni friends, 2 who have moved away. One of them told me her IVF which was just before Christmas was succesful which is great. I haven't told any of them I'm pregnant yet, also suspect at least 1 has rumbled me. They have all always been so kind and so sensitive and supportive so I feel bad for all my dry January lies!

You have nothing to feel guilty for keepon! It’s your very private news. You don’t have to tell anyone till you have your baby safely in your arms if you don’t want to. People might have suspicions but they can keep schtum till you’re ready to share. Also totally reasonable to wait till you’ve had your scan, of course it is x

Here to listen to any anxieties any time and will be thinking of you Thursday.

Af was grim and thankfully gone. I’ve reached the point of not being able to take anymore tbh, not in a depressed or desperate way, but I’ve stopped temping this month and I just can’t think about any of it in the way I have been anymore, at least for a bit. The end of my last cycle and DHs painful palpable disappointment and guttedness nearly made my head explode.

We might get back to our respective GPs next month but for now we’re just taking a step back. Not from a relax and it’ll happen perspective, it won’t, but I really just can’t think about it for a bit. It’s fucking exhausting.

I spent two days telling DH it would be okay, it takes some people a while, I was sure it would happen, no reason to worry blah blah blah and I think I believed it. But I woke up when we got back from New Years in a bloody rage and it’s still coming and going.

Work is stressful and there’s loads of crap going on, we’ve had all the deaths which has been shattering, my DSC are wonderful but exhausting and one of them’s been ill (he’s fine, not serious but sleepless nights for all of us). I’m just tired and sick of the whole fucking buggering lark on top of everything else. I’m angry and I’m done.

We’ll see how long it lasts. I’ve always had clear ov symptoms and could tell earlier it’s coming again, if early, so going to keep dtd when we feel like it and not check dates or temps or anything else. Tempted to start boozing, smoking and eating processed carbs just for fun but I’m so relatively clean living none of that appeals so I’ll stick with coffee, Pilates and good books.

Excuse the massive self indulgent rant

Still more than happy to chat or listen about what’s going on with you and everyone else. I really hope Thursday brings reassuring news and the days till then go quickly and without you much anxiety x

Thank you Anne. You are always so kind. I think I just need it to be Thursday so I can find out what, if anything, is going on in there.

I'm not surprised you're bloody pissed off. You've been through so much without all the bereavements around Christmas. For what it is worth, I did find the break from TTC we had whilst waiting for my op really helpful. It was so nice to go back to having sex as and when we wanted, no thoughts about where in my cycle I was. Kudos to you for not boozing. I never managed to be that good and needed my gin and wine! I hope you manage to find a bit of headspace and work eases up soon.

@LisaSimpsonsbff Last day of the month 😖

@Anne Yup it's tomorrow. Just a generic walk-in kind of one but they'll scan me and see that clearly nothing has changed. I found out about the most recent mmc at the end of November so I'm done with the waiting approach now.

Popping in to say hello and see how you are doing.

Bean - I think everyone varies with how quickly they ovulate after positive Opk and LH surge and also whether you feel pain before, during or after ovulation. So not that helpful! I know i ovulate quite a long time after positive and long time before bbt increase, because they are about 4 days apart,but other people it's much quicker. I don't get ovulation pain, but I have read that it is common for it to be pre ovulation not during that you feel it. Anyway it doesn't really matter the exact day if you have plenty of sex and better to be ahead rather than after ovulation. From experience I think the thing about sperm hanging around waiting seems to be true.

Anne - sorry to hear that you are feeling frustrated and fed up. Totally understandable. Really hope you get a positive soon. Have you thought about stopping the asprin for a bit to see if that helps? Don't think you have has a positive since you have taken it and there seems to be some conflicting info on whether it helps or hinders implantation.

Keepon - Fingers crossed for scan. You have been so patient waiting until 8 weeks.

Lisa and Bertie - glad all going well with you both too.

Unicorn - sorry I hadn't seen your post. That's been dragging on so long for you. Hope they can resolve it quickly for you now. I find time feels so slow waiting for miscarriage to be over and desperate to start again, and that was without the delays you have had. You are doing so well coping with this.