TTC after recurrent miscarriage

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Hi, just wondering if anyone else was in a similar place to me and wanted to chat about it? I'm 30, TTC my first and have had three miscarriages, all early (two natural MCs at five weeks, then a MMC where a scan at 6+5 revealed development had again stopped at 5 weeks). I've had RMC tests and am just waiting on the results of that but hoping to be able to TTC again from my next period, which should come any day now. I've found throughout the whole thing (have been TTC just over a year now) that it's really helped me to chat with people in similar positions, so if anyone wants to be TTC buddies please let me know!

Lisa
Please ignore if you don't find this helpful as obviously my pregnancy didn't result in a live birth, but I had actually zero morning sickness. NONE at all. I had my hcg levels checked due to bleeding and my levels were super high. My GP assured me that some people are just more tolerant to the hcg spikes then others. I am sure you have loads of other symptoms, try not to get too hung up on the sickness. Remember it's a new egg, it's a new pregnancy, it has all the chances in its favour. Bean in place and heartbeat when you saw it at your scan. Keep the faith. We are all routing for you.

Thanks miami - that is helpful and your message is so, so kind. I really appreciate all support, especially given what you're going through at the moment. I have good days and gloomy days - today and yesterday have been v gloomy, but maybe I can try and feel hopeful and positive tomorrow.

Hello I thought I would update you after my scan. All looked good so far, so feeling incredibly relieved about that. Hoping rest of pregnancy continues OK.

Lisa - try not to worry about lack of sickness. I have not had any sickness or aversions or funny tastes or any of that type of thing. I have felt incredibly tired and that was the main thing that felt different with miscarriages, but think tiredness started a bit after 7 weeks anyway this time. Also everyone's experience is different.

Anne - sorry to hear period started. Fingers crossed for a new year's eve positive for you.

Miami - I hope appointment helps and you get some answers or some form of comfort from it. Christmas will be such a hard time for you, but your plans sound lovely.

Keepon - thanks for the link, it is interesting.

Fox - how are you feeling? Did yuu decide to get a scan?

Hello to everyone else too. Hope you get some positives tests soon.

I work for a university too Lisa and it's really hard not to get sucked in. I lecture in psychology but my research is very clinical so I have a lot of experience with the medical journals - I am still completely confused by stuff like the decidualisation hypothesis though. However I could share a couple of the better papers I've found if anyone is interested?

It makes sense that they don't sperm test men. From what I understand the only male factor issues which can cause miscarriage are genetic related, and genetic issues don't show up in a sperm analysis.

Karyotyping should be done on both partners but I didn't read the thing to see if this was recommended or not.

They do also talk about sperm DNA fragmentation as a cause of recurrent miscarriage (which they actually advise is referred to as RPL, recurrent pregnancy loss) - it's one of their 'needs more research' areas.

I’m bleeding. It’s over yet again.

I'm so sorry paws, but are you sure? Bleeding is v. common in early pregnancy - are we talking spotting or filling a pad? for you either way.

Spotting but i have very light periods so rarely get more than spotting anyway. I suspect lining issues.

With my losses I’ve never bled very much

However I could share a couple of the better papers I've found if anyone is interested?

Yes please!

I don't think all is necessarily lost, paws, though I very much understand preparing yourself for the worst. You're pretty much dead-on 4 weeks, right? I think I'd do another test tomorrow and see what that shows.

I did a test and it’s BFN. Im starting to think my bfp might have been an evap though...I made a thread about it and people seemed to agree. I’ll put a pic here...does that look like an evap? If I was pregnant, I should’ve been 4 and 2.

Pretty sure it was an evap because DP peed on one to check and also got a faint line. Never using that brand again.

Having a shitty day though. DS didn’t sleep well and my back is killing me

Really sorry about the bleeding/evap line confusion paws.

mog I'm so pleased all was good at your scan. Was that your 12 week one?

I've only looked at the uterine abnormality section of the guidelines so far. It all looks pretty well researched and is reasonably easy to read.

I went out for a Christmas meal with some work people last night. The secretary who left in April joined us. I was sitting a bit slouched in my chair and she thought I looked pregnant so basically asked me outright if I was I clearly need to do more sit ups!

DH commented that he thought my boobs felt bigger last night. Cue frantic boob prodding. I WILL not test until my period is late.

Haven't been on for a bit, Christmas working in a school craziness.

Paws - sorry to hear your news, rubbish.

Mog - that is great news, giving us all some hope.

Thanks for the link keepon made interesting reading this morning at six when I couldn't sleep. Sort of comforting to know that I do count as RPL by their conditions even if not by my health authority.
Also interesting to read that the number before a successful pregnancy doesn't seem to affect the outcome so inches my percentage chance slightly higher next time maybe. It seems to be suggesting 65 percent ish after 2, ( not counting the extra one before my daughter) whereas previous stuff I'd read ( not sure where) seemed to imply 50:50 which I just found a bit depressing. Although not sure it actually makes a difference I'll take any slightly better sounding stats!

Oh also Miami your Christmas ideas sound lovely. Hope you don't mind this suggestion but the charity pressie sounds like something that could turn into a lovely Christmas tradition. My baby brother died when I was 9 and we used to get a tiny Christmas tree, decorate it and take it to his grave, having something every year we did for him became part of our Christmas tradition and helped us for him to have his own special thing and time for remembering. My parents ( and me if I am down there) still do this now.

How is everyone doing this evening?

We’ve had a death in the family, another relative in hospital and heading to a hospice, a psycho new boss at work (we work in the same place), threats of a restructure and much hassle from DH ex.

None of it ttc related but usual life bollocks. I’m tired.

Af is nearly gone now so that’s something. Having a glass of wine with my vitamins!

Anyone got any news, either good or bad?

So sorry to hear about your relative and all the other shit that's going on Anne.

To add to the cheeriness one of my close friends who I've found very supportive through all of this and been very grateful for sent me some texts last night telling me that I made her feel like a second class friend and that she had come to resent prioritising me. So I've been something of a Debbie downer today.

In other news, had a day off today. Went and got a filling redone, had an eye test and I have got more blind and bought some wrapping paper for wrapping up all the Christmas presents that I have not bought yet. But on the plus side I bought a new dressing gown and it is so soft. I wonder if I can get away with staying in it all weekend.......

Sorry Anne and keep on that stuff is rubbish I don't have any news. Currently in the 2ww ( otherwise known as who knows if I ovulated? And how many weeks it'll be til my period that I'll be waiting fun - post miscarriage).

Having spent yesterday reading papers about vitamins, having never taken one in my life other than folic acid, I think I might get some. Can't do anything else since the NHS aren't interested. Then spent ages trying to decide whether to get trying to or pregnant ones. If I get the former and am pregnant( as if) it'll be a waste.,,. And the pregnant ones are cheaper. Are they actually diff anyway...

Sorry feeling a bit glum today and slightly crazy.... excuse the rant.

Sounds like a few of us are somewhat down in the dumps right now. I'm glad I'm not the only one!

Haffertee
Very little difference between them. Only thing to watch out for is vitamin A if you are preggers, guidelines say not to take. I would probably crack on and get the pregnancy ones. I think Lisa or someone mentioned previously that her doc said there was no difference?
Life is so fucking hard sometimes. The last couple of weeks a have been super hard, since passing the point where I should have been 37 weeks (ie full term) I just feel even more like she should be here. I just want to scream at everyone that I should have a newborn (or still be pregnant). I am at the hairdressers this morning and it's just so surreal. I have no idea what to do with myself. Instincts are to get pregnant ASAP, can't do that without a period (10.5 weeks now......) have persuaded myself that I have Asherman’s and will never be pregnant again. We have our appointment for the pm results on the 19th December.
I have started CBT to try and deal with some of the guilt. Really need to get some resilience mentally.

I'm really sorry that so many of us are going through particularly bad times at the moment.

I'm sorry to hear of the losses within your family anne - it sounds like a lot of pretty shit things are happening at once for you and DH. I know you two will get through it together - you have such a strong relationship - but it's ok to be feeling overwhelmed and pissed off.

keepon that's awful that your friend has treated you like that - I've been really disappointed in a couple of people I thought I could really rely on in the last year. I think people are often good when you have a short-term crisis, but find it difficult and essentially lose patience when you're going through a sadness that continues in the medium/long term. I'm sorry that someone you care about has upset you so badly. I hope you are enjoying your new dressing gown - I didn't get dressed until 12 today, so I definitely think extended dressing gown time is acceptable!

miami - of course you should have a newborn, and it is so, so desperately unfair that you don't. I'm glad that you're trying CBT, but please don't feel that it's a weakness in you or a lack of resilience that means you need it - you are coping extraordinarily well with something that no one should ever have to cope with, of course you need some help and support. I'm glad you have an appointment now, but I know that will be a very, very hard day. We're all here for you.

haffertee I'm sorry you're feeling glum. Fingers very much crossed for you in this 2ww. I've been taking the 'pregnancy' ones for sodding ages now - at least a year - and my doctor did indeed say that's absolutely fine (I do think the conception ones are a slight scam because they know a percentage of women will get pregnant before they use them all and then feel obliged to buy a whole new set of pregnancy ones!), so if they're cheaper I'd just go for them. I think if you have a healthy, balanced diet then in theory there's no need to take anything beyond folic acid, but both DH and I feel like, despite our generally quite healthy and very fruit-and-vegetable-full diets (we're vegetarian) we've got ill less and felt better since we started taking vitamins daily, so maybe we were a bit short of something before - with that said, we're both feeling a bit miserable with colds today!

Thanks for your lovely reply Lisa. How are you doing? Have you got another scan coming up this week?

I'm suffering from a major case of hopeful twat syndrome. Presuming my cycle has gone straight back to normal AF will be due on Thurs. No sign of my usual pre-AF spotting yet and my boobs feel fuller. Keep reminding myself not to trust the boobs! I've never tested early before because the presence or lack of spotting always gave me a heads up but really want to this time. I found myself standing in front of the piss sticks in Sainsburys on Saturday. They don't sell FRERs so managed to drag myself away. Yesterday I got the boots own brand one I have at home out of the drawer and inspected the leaflet. It picks up levels of 25 and above so made myself put it back. ARGH!

Keepon - can I join you in hopeful twattery? I'm 9dpo (period due Friday as I have a 12 day LP) and POAS this morning with a 10MIU stick, getting the whitest of white negatives. I think you should continue to exercise the admirable restraint you're managing!!!

It has been an odd and very stressful cycle. I had a private scan on CD14 which showed a really massive follicle on my right ovary (bigger than it should be, possibly a cyst). I had a leftover hcg trigger shot from previous fertility treatment so used it that night to try and 'pop' the follicle to stop it getting any bigger. It seemed to work and made me ovulate, but I don't hold out much hope of it producing a bfp. I've booked a scan for what should be CD3 of the upcoming cycle to check the cyst has gone away anyhow ...